Disaster Date

“I’m sorry.” Martina spoke, as she looked at me with her dead eyes.

“What happened? What did I do wrong?” I asked. I didn’t get it. I didn’t know why everything ended up the way it ended up. So, I felt like I had the right to know at the very least.

“Umm, well. You didn’t actually do anything wrong. I mean, you were good! You were really nice to me. Way too nice, in fact.” She turned her head away from me as she said that.

“Ah, is that it then? The fact that I treated you way too nicely?” I asked her. Is this what the kids these days call a simp-like behavior? But, for real, I’m pretty sure that I haven’t done anything like that. I just treated her the same way that anyone else would treat their partners. And yet…

Martina took a deep breath. “Yes.” She replied.

I mean, even though I did expect her to say that, I didn’t actually expect her to say that right to my face, you know? That was a bit too rude, if you ask me. However, I feel like I wouldn’t have got what she meant if she wasn’t this straightforward with me. Hell, we wouldn’t have been going on this date if Martina wasn’t such a straightforward person, so I kinda understand where she is coming from. However, that doesn’t mean that I couldn’t voice my disbelief when I heard her say that.

“Wha- But why?” I asked. I probably looked more desperate than I usually do, because she looked like she didn’t want to deal with me at that moment.

“Because… This is our first freaking date! I never wanted this to escalate or anything. I just wanted a simple, grounded date. I wanted to get to know you. I just wanted to have a coffee. I wanted to watch a movie with you. I wanted to go on long walks with you. And instead, look around you right now. Does this look like anything that I described?” She asked, as I looked around as she instructed.

She was right. It was nothing as she said. We were in a rather high-end restaurant with me wearing a fucking suit and us drinking champagne and all. More than a first date, it looked as if we were having our wedding anniversary or something. I could understand how someone would get burdened by all of this.

“Hmm, you’re right. I went overboard with all of this.” I replied. I just had to be honest at that point. It wasn’t like I didn’t realize what I did.

“Well, if there is something more than just going overboard, that would be the thing that you did.” She scoffed as she said that.

For some reason, that scoff really pissed me off. It was as if she was scoffing over the entirety of the efforts that I busted my ass for. And I really felt disrespected when she did that. I mean, I got my own worth, you know?

“Ok, that’s it. It’s not that I didn’t want to do all those things that you said you wanted to do with me, you know? I was equally interested in doing all that stuff. However, you know how I am. You know why I did all of this. I just didn’t want to lose you as well.” I replied. I realized that sounded lame as fuck and that I could’ve termed certain things a bit more differently, but it was too late to retract my statement at that point.

“Lose me? Since when did you have me, Sam? I don’t get you, for real! You said to me that all your dates ditched you on the very first date, right? I kinda am getting an idea behind that. You are way too needy. And it doesn’t seem like I can cater to those needs of yours.” Martina looked really pissed off as she said all that.

At that point, I had nothing to say. I mean, she ain’t wrong. Every single one of my dates ditched me on the very first date. And I kept on questioning what I did wrong, when every single thing that I did was shitty as heck. I should’ve realized this way too early.

“I’m… sorry…” I mumbled.

At that point, I just wanted to leave that place. At that very moment, I realized how much of a shitty place I booked to have my first date with someone else. I mean, everyone around us were married couples having the time of their lives and we felt so out of place. And with all of this, I felt as if everyone were looking at me with their judgmental eyes, even though that really wasn’t the case. But it was really suffocating. The air, the people, everything was just killing me slowly right there.

Martina sighed. “I’m sorry. I went overboard with all that. I shouldn’t have.” She lightly shook her head as she got up. She probably noticed that I was having a mini panic attack at that point and wanted to give me space. “Anyhow, I’ll be leaving now.” She spoke.

“I’ll drop you-”

“No need. I’ll take a cab from here. My home isn’t that far away.” She spoke, straight up blocking my redeeming advances. And it wasn’t like I was fond of doing that anyway, so it was fine by me.

“Oh, ok.” I nodded my head and placed my head on the table. I just wanted to stay like that with my eyes closed for a second or two.

“Yea… See you tomorrow at work, Sam.” She replied as she swiftly left me for myself.

It was at that point that I realized one important thing. I have to meet her face to face at work tomorrow. And I don’t even know how I would pull that off after the clusterfuck that I pulled off here. It was just gonna be way more awkward for me than I realized at that point. And there was nothing I could do to stop that.

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