Chapter Sixty Eight

I had told myself that I had made a decision but deep down I knew that I hadn’t but the greater part of me knew that Triss was right. I had to leave, this wasn’t my home and leaving with all of the Berg’s kingdom’s secrets with my head raised high was the best form of revenge that I could do r have but as I laid on my bed and stared at the ceiling, I was conflicted and the fact that I was conflicted further even annoyed me more. 

How could I be conflicted?

This was a matter between staying in an enemy kingdom because someone I claimed to love who clearly didn’t love me back was here and saving my people. How could I be conf;icted on what to do?

I shut my eyes taking deep breaths over and over again. Seeing Triss had brought the feeling of home back and I missed home. Her words rushed into my head and a small smile slowly formed on my face.

Uncle Stefan.

My favourite uncle in the whole world. He was one of the few people in the royal family that I was close to and one of the few people who never compared me to Triss. He loved me for who I was and never belittled me. Fought my father, his brother many times trying to defend me and even in their royal council, my uncle was known for his love for me.

Ever since coming to the Berg Kingdom, I had somehow forgotten that I indeed had a lot of people who loved me earnestly and deeply.

I wasn’t surprised that Uncle Stefan had demanded that they get me back immediately. I knew that he must have been worried sick and I also knew that he was still worried sick. If Triss knew my struggles and my pain in the Berg kingdom, I knew that everyone must know too.

The royal family, the people, everyone in the Zadok kingdom would now know that their esteemed first Princess had been made a slave and forced to serve at an enemy’s palace. It was dishonour and I could already imagine Uncle Stefan baring his fangs at the council of elders.

Triss.

It had been surprising to see her angry. The truth was that we never got along but we had rare moments when we felt like sisters, like real sisters and yesterday night was one of them. I had seen genuine worry in Triss’s eyes, raw anger at how I had been treated and I also remembered how she waived off the marriage. She must hate it, I knew Triss well enough to know that she hated marriage and that was why she had changed the topic of conversation. I also wasn’t stupid enough to keep dragging the issue either.

Because of me, everyone had changed and they had to make decisions that exactly weren’t what they wanted. And then, my mother.

Triss had said that she had fainted and was in a coma for a while. I couldn't imagine the amount of heartache she was having all at once. Her husband had died and one of her daughters as well was taken captive.

Like Triss, I wasn’t close to my mother. We were just mother and daughter in name and we never got close , unlike she and Triss, they bonded easily and many times I caught them giggling alongside their maids in the garden while I sat all by myself reading books or picking out more books with my maid.

But she was still my mother regardless and she tried her best for me.

“If you sigh one more time, I’m going to knock you asleep” Serena’s voice floated into my ears and I found myself laughing as I sat up on the bed and Serena also sat up on the bed.

“I think i should sigh one more time, that way you can knock me asleep and I’ll be able to get some sleep” I replied and Serena snorted.

“It’s past 2am Amira. What's going on?” she asked and I shrugged my shoulders.

“I entered the medicine room earlier, you weren’t there” she stated and I swallowed hard, lowering my eyes.

“Were you in the king’s chamber?” she pressed on and I wore a small smile, not choosing to answer. It was better to allow Serena’s imagination to run wild.

“Did you guys kiss again?” she asked and I burst into laughter.

“Hell no, we didn’t. How is that your first thought? Why aren't you thinking that we fought or had an argument?” I asked and Serena laughed.

“Well, did you guys have an argument?” she asked and I sighed softly.

‘Don't worry about it” I replied and Serena folded her arms.

"You have refused to take my advice” she stated and I chuckled.

“Seems so to you but  have, I plan to” i replied, my voice was strangely firm.

“I plan to choose myself because I matter the most” I continued and Serena chuckled.

That was her advice to me. Human beings were fickle creatures and at the end, I’m the only one on my side and so I can’t choose any side except my own side. On my side, I can’t lose, it’s impossible to lose on my own side.

“And don’t forget everything I said” Serena said and I nodded my head.

“I won't,” I replied with a small smile on my lips.

“Well one of the older women wants some of the paste you made” she said and I furrowed my brows.

“Really? How did they know?” I asked and Serena turned to Juliannah.

“Told everyone who cared to hear that you made a scar removing cream. Rather than going to those annoying medicine house bastards, you are much easier to talk to, " Serena replied and I laughed.

“How come I didn’t know I was suddenly easier to talk to?” I asked and Serena laughed.

“Oh, they don’t like you but compared to those people, you are certainly easier to talk to” Serena replied and we both burst into laughter.

“So can we go to sleep now?” Serena asked and I nodded.

“Of course”