2

ASTRID

I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I looked and looked. Really looked. Every day since I'd returned from prison I looked at myself, trying to see if it really was me. If that innocent and almost care free girl was still there. Every day, I came up negatively.

She was long gone. Gone like the blood of my best friend from the hardwood floor it'd been pooled on.

That girl had been replaced by this abused husk. This unsmiling and constantly trembling husk.

It constantly escaped me why I was the one living in fear. When I was the one who'd been framed. When I was the one who had served time, I had no business serving. I should have been let off the hook by now right?

Wrong.

It turns out death can't be forgiven at all. I'd thought knowing that I'd been more than punished for my ‘crimes’ would make things easier, but since I returned… I'd been treated worse than a pariah.

There were days when I figured that ending things would be far better than living like this.

Then I would remember Kris. I owed it to her to live. I owed it to her to let everyone know who had really murdered her. Even if I got brutalised in the process. Easily, she would do the same for me. Which brought me to my current predicament.

I combed my fingers through my dark hair. Trying to add something like emotion to the reflection I was looking at in the mirror. I looked so stark, so finished.

I couldn't get over father's words from last night. I trembled now as I remembered them.

Me? Marry Justin?

I would die on the first night.

Being Kris’ closest friend, I was one of the few people who knew up close what her brother was capable of.

In the beginning, he is the one I'd foolishly put all my trust in, afterall he knew how close Kris and I was, he couldn't possibly believe I would kill her.

But Justin had believed. Harder and deeper than everyone else. I would have died that night if others hadn't intervened to get him away from me.

My composure shattered and I dropped my head into my hands, trembling violently as I suddenly felt so cold. Tears spilled forcefully from my tightly closed lids even as I drew up my only possible hope from the depth of my heart. The hope that I had chanted over and over last night so I could sleep. It was the fact that it was Justin's hatred that would save me from him now.

There was absolutely no way he would agree to marrying me – the girl he so vehemently believed had killed his mate and his sister.

I swallowed, taking a deep shuddering breath and massaging my throbbing chest to calm down. He wouldn't. He wouldn't accept. I would be fine.

I slowly began to get ready to leave. I wanted nothing more than to crawl into my bed and cry. And cry. And cry.

But I had promised Kris that I would always be at his games. In all that I did, I felt very strongly that I had to uphold all of her requests, her principles and morals. Basically, I wanted to ensure that she lived on through me. So no matter what I felt, Kris had to matter.

I slowed my jog as I approached the foot of the stairs, hearing my mother in the kitchen. I clenched my jaw as I slowly climbed down the last few steps and turned to face her questioning glance.

“Where to?”

“Justin's game.” I whispered, my throat catching. I blinked and swallowed. I needed to stop sounding like a victim. It made everyone feel like they truly had the right to keep brutalizing me.

Unfortunately, I was the victim…

She gave me that look. The one filled with a mix of disappointment and resignation. And that bit of shame.

I felt it rise in me. That urge to scream at her that I was innocent. That how could she have given birth to me and raised me all these years and still not believe me.

But I'd learned very terribly that that wouldn't work. I had to grow to accept the fact that in a pack of thousands I was a horrifying traitor that couldn't even be offered the dignity of leaving the pack. I had to stay. Had to go to the same school as the childhood friends and seniors who believed I'd killed one of our own. Worst of all, I had to look into my parents’ eyes everyday and see that they didn't want me. It would have been better to see hate in their eyes. The shame and hard resignation in their eyes broke my heart so much harder.

I almost couldn't wait to get the proof. The truth that would finally exonerate me. Almost, because life so far had taught me that things weren't as cut and dried as they looked in movies and books. Life had dealt me such a hard blow that I was scared that even after proving beyond reasonable doubt that I was innocent, everyone's attitude toward me wouldn't change. That they would be so used to me being that object that they could pour all their hate on that they wouldn't care that I really was innocent. Especially since the real murderer was now gone.

It's why I'd decided that after proving my innocence I would go as far away from here as possible. They wouldn't be able to withhold my freedom then. It would be the least the alpha can do.

As I reached the door, my father appeared from the living room. His face was on that borderline between expressionless and shamed hurt it had donned from the day I returned from prison.

“It’s good that you’re trying to get close to Justin,” he approves. “Your marriage needs to happen.”

His words were a bitter pill to swallow. I forced a nod, not trusting myself to speak. Then I stepped outside, the cool evening air hitting my face.

I held on to the cold bite of the wind as I made my way to the stadium. It would be my only friend tonight.

As I arrived, I did my best to clear my mind of the hurt and pitiful thoughts that constantly plagued me. This was a new start. I will be free soon.

Hopefully.

As I stepped in line, a slight hush descended like a set of dominoes crashing into each other in that beautiful way they did. Except there was absolutely nothing beautiful about the disgusted and dirty looks I got from everyone around. I swallowed and did my best to hold my head high. Of course they wouldn't forget. How could I have stupidly held out any hope at all?

The guy handing out the tickets was two years I and Kris’s junior but he scowled at me like I was a cat who had pooped in his bed. I swallowed as I quickly snatched the ticket before he changed his mind. Or the other students changed it for him.

“At least they didn't immediately try to stop me from seeing the game.” I mutter under my breath as I walk in briskly and try to find a seat.

I needed somewhere I could easily flee from should they decide to lynch me, and somewhere I would be very much out of everyone's way so I didn't provoke the possible lynching. I found the perfect spot. At the edge and at the bottom. Most people preferred the very centre and higher.

It’s almost halftime when I feel the tension in the air thicken. The team is losing, and I could feel Justin’s glare piercing through me even from across the field. It’s as if he knows exactly where I am, as if my presence is a beacon of misfortune. And of course it would be to them because at that very moment I hear someone whisper from somewhere behind me,

“Look at her. She's definitely why Justin’s off his game. She’s bad luck.”

“Who the hell even let her in here? They should kick her out!”

My chest tightened and my body stiffened. I couldn't leave just then. I promised Kris I would be here, and I couldn't let their hatred drive me away. But Goddess, please. I didn't know if I would be able to outrun them all if they decided to attack me.

Just when I think I can’t take anymore, a roar of cheers erupts from the other side of the stands. I look up to see Justin back in action, pushing himself harder, faster. His focus is unbreakable, his movements almost feral in their intensity. And slowly, the tide begins to turn. Relief washes over me like a cool breeze on a scorching day. The team starts catching up, point by point, until they’re on the brink of taking the lead.

The final whistle blows, and the crowd erupts in celebration.

For a moment, I lose myself and I let myself hope that maybe, just maybe, things can get better. That maybe Justin’s anger will ease, and he’ll remember that I’m not his enemy. The girls around me must have lost themselves too because just then he turns to my direction and it's like the hardness in his eyes switches something off in them. They realise that they are sort of rejoicing with me and immediately recoil. The look in his eyes tell me I’m still a long way from redemption in his book. I stay seated, letting the chaos swirl around me.

I stayed seated until the arena was nearly empty before I decided it was safe enough to step out. My heart pounded, the memory of the crowd's accusing looks burned in my mind. It would have been very foolish of me to leave with everyone else, basically offering myself as a sacrifice.

The walk home was a blur. By the time I reached the front door, I was shocked to see Justin was just ahead of me. His broad shoulders were tense. My heart pounded in my chest, a steady drumbeat of dread. But I couldn't have been less prepared for the words he spoke.

“Father, I've made my decision. I will marry Astrid.”

I was shocked out of my senses. The world slowed around me and I felt my vision become cloudy. No… No. He couldn't have said that. I felt so faint I was sure I would fall to the ground.

If only I could fall and keep sinking until I was completely swallowed by the earth.

Justin's coal gray eyes were what brought me back to reality. They were like beacons of death, calling to me, promising me doom.

I shook my head, no. Not realising I was speaking until the words left mouth.

“N– no. Y– you hate me Justin. We can't possibly get married.” I turned to my father and the alpha, desperation pushing the foolish words out of my throat. “He hasn't even had enough time to mourn hi–”

The Alpha’s eyes narrowed, his voice a venomous hiss. “Don’t you ever mention my son's mate or my daughter with that mouth of yours.”

I flinched at his words, my eyes turning to Justin. He couldn't possibly want this. I was trying to help us both, why wasn't he saying anything? Why wasn't he saying it had been a slip of tongue?

And him driving all the way here was a slip of what?

An evil hurtful voice whispered in my head.

“The only reason you’re getting married is because your father and I made a deal. You will do well to appreciate this as great mercy.”

My stomach twisted.

“Apologise Astrid. You had absolutely no right.” My father. I turned to him. He had anger in his eyes and more shame in the slump of his shoulders.

I wanted to cry out. To beg, to cry, for understanding, for them to believe me. I couldn't take this. My eyes stung. Instead I stuttered,

“I– I'm sorry. I didn't mean to –”

“Go get ready. You're moving into the Alpha's home tomorrow as you'll be married next week.”

My eyes threaten to pop out of their sockets. Tomorrow!

No!

My head moved from my father to our Alpha to Justin.

Justin.

He was going to make my life a living hell. The look in his eyes was one I knew too well—pure, unfiltered hatred. I could basically feel it. Fear gripped me, squeezing my chest until I could barely breathe. It was too soon. Too soon. I wasn’t ready.

But there was no room for protest, no space for my terror in their plans. I could only stare, my mind reeling with the reality of what was happening.