1

JUSTIN

I slumped onto the bench, my chest heaving and my lungs burning as I struggled to catch my breath. Sweat dripped down my forehead, stinging my eyes, but I could barely feel it. I wiped it away with a shaky hand, struggling to centre myself. The whistle would blow in five minutes and I would have to go back into the game but as it was I could barely feel myself. It was like I was operating my body from some remote island and I wasn't actually inside it. The different emotions I was sorting through were so confusing and annoying.

I could hear Coach's voice booming over the din of the crowd, each word a sharp reprimand slicing through the noise. I was suddenly able to bring his voice into focus and I realised the entire team was gathered in a semi circle around my left side and Coach was shouting down on me from my right.

"You call that playing, Justin? Where's your head at? You need to get your act together!"

My eyes moved to the stands where they found Astrid easily. She was sitting and watching. From the confusing mix of emotions, three rose to the surface: anger, hate and disgust. The sight of her twisted my insides into knots. I clenched my fists, nails digging into my palms, as I tried to anchor myself to the present moment. Of course Coach picked up on the fact that my mind was even more far away and immediately grabbed me by the front of my jersey, his face inches from mine. My mind returned from whatever remote island it was on as my eyes came face to face with his reddened ones.

"I don't care what's going on in that head of yours. You shove it to the back of your mind and lock it up tight! This isn't the game to lose, not when we're this close to the cup!" His finger jabbed toward the glittering trophy on display, the thing that was supposed to be a beacon of the winning team's hard-earned triumph.

My gaze fixed on the cup, its gleam was a stark reminder of everything the team had worked for. I had worked for. For my mate… I swallowed as the realization hit me like a slap to the face. This was it. This was what I had promised her.

I nodded slowly as I pulled myself from Coach's grip, bending over and taking in a deep breath. Even after the game, Astrid would still be there, her disappointment of an existence an unavoidable evil. But it ought to be a problem for later. Right then, I had a game to win.

I shut my eyes tight as my teammates clapped my back in encouragement, forcing myself to focus, to push Astrid out of my mind. I hadn't slogged through endless practices, endured all the grueling drills, and fought through the pain for nothing. I wasn't about to let her ruin this for me. Not now, not when we were so close. Not after all the other things she had ruined.

The whistle blew, signaling the end of the break and I shot up, fresh adrenaline coursing through my veins. I glanced at my teammates, their determined faces mirroring my own resolve. We had come too far to fail now. We let out the team chant and then took our positions. The noise of the crowd faded into a distant hum as my focus narrowed to the field and the ball at my feet. We moved as one, a seamless unit formed by countless hours of practice. Every pass, every dribble, every tackle, executed with precision.

My mind became a steel trap, shutting out everything but the game. I felt the rhythm of the play, the flow of the team's movements. It was like I had gotten to a higher level. Like I was now God of the field.

The final minutes were a blur of motion and sound, the roar of the crowd swelling to a deafening height. With a final burst of energy, I broke free, sprinting down the field. I could see the goal, the keeper's eyes widening in realization. This was it. I couldn't miss.

With a swift, practiced motion, I struck the ball, sending it sailing past the keeper and into the net just as the final whistle blew. The stadium erupted in cheers, the noise echoing through my bones.

I collapsed onto the field, my head bowed. We had done it. We had won.

Of course, I could only be spared precious few seconds to myself as, panting and screaming in jubilation, my team rushed over and lifted me into the air, carrying me around the field. I tried to look happy. But my mind had returned to that remote island and once again, I was just going through motions. I glanced toward the stands, where Astrid was of course screaming with the rest of the girls. My chest tightened and I forced myself to focus on the trophy that was being pushed into my hands. At least this I had done. I hadn't failed, I had won.

••••••••

The air was electric with the thrill of victory, everyone around me buzzed with excitement. But I couldn't bring myself to feel it. I didn't feel up to half the excitement I’d felt for the other games I'd won, and this was the win of the season – all the others combined. The weight of the cup in my hands felt hollow, its importance was just a cruel reminder of what I'd lost. I knew everyone noticed my detachment but their concerned glances only deepened my isolation. This win was supposed to be for my mate, for Audrey. So now all I could feel was a deep, aching void.

I went through the motions, raising the cup high for the cameras, forcing a smile that didn't reach my eyes. I stood with my teammates, the picture of a triumphant athlete. But inside, I was crumbling.

As soon as I could, I slipped away, heading straight to my car. Once inside, I locked the doors and took a deep breath. And finally, I broke.

Sobs wracked my body, tears streaming down my face unchecked. I slammed the steering wheel over and over again and as though there were some forces who didn't think I was going through enough already, at that moment I caught a whiff of Audrey's scent from the backseat. I threw my head back and let out a roar of deep sorrow. My body felt like an empty husk as I heaved and heaved, unable to stop the violent sobbing.

I don't know how long I wept. I don't know when the tears began to reduce. I just know that when I finally regained my senses, I was leaning my forehead against the steering wheel, my breaths coming in ragged gasps.

"I did it, Audrey…" I choked out, my voice trembling and my vision completely covered with tears. "Baby, I did it for you."

The words hung in the air, unable to reach her. I shut my eyes tight, the memory of her voice flooding my mind. Her panicked tone the last time she'd spoken through the mate bond. The pain of her absence cut through me like a knife. I hadn't even gotten to say goodbye. That cruel fact twisted my grief into anger, a burning need for revenge. Astrid had taken everything from me. She had stolen my world, my heart, my Audrey.

"I swear, Astrid," I whispered viciously, my lips smarming over the words through the spittle that had gathered in my mouth because of my crying. "I will make your life miserable for what you did. For taking her away from me."

The vow echoed in the silence of the car, a promise forged in the fires of my pain.

I wiped my tears, my sorrow turning into a cold, determined rage. I had won the game, but I had just started the battle.

I gripped the steering wheel tightly as I drove home. The road was familiar, yet tonight it felt foreign, each mile stretching endlessly. My mind replayed the events of the game, the cheers of the crowd still echoed in my ears, but they were drowned out by the aching emptiness that had settled in my chest.

I thought of Audrey, her bright smile, the warmth of her touch. She had been the anchor that kept me grounded. The memory of her voice was a whisper in my mind, a haunting reminder of what I had lost.

“I did it for you, Audrey.” I thought, “It all means nothing without you.”

The house loomed ahead, a dark silhouette against the evening sky. But home wasn’t home anymore. Not without Audrey. As I pulled into the driveway, I noticed Father's figure illuminated by the porch light, he was sitting with his beta. The sight of the man made my blood boil. Astrid's father. The man who had a hand in this mess, who had helped orchestrate the union that felt like a betrayal. That was a betrayal.

I stepped out of the car, my heart heavy with dread. Father's sad smile was a look of understanding that only increased my bitterness. The beta's presence was a thorn in my side, a constant reminder of the woman who had taken everything from me.

"Father," I greeted, my voice strained but respectful. I barely glanced at the beta, my eyes barely going over him with cold detachment. "I've made my decision. I will marry Astrid."

The words felt like poison on my tongue. In my mind, I made a vow: I will never make her my luna.

My gaze shifted to Astrid's father, and a dark thought took root,

I will ruin her. I will make her life so unbearable that she will wish for death.

Father nodded, a mixture of relief and sorrow in his eyes. "That's good, son. You will be married next week."

My heart twisted at the words. The finality of them, the way they sealed my fate.

I heard a very slight footstep and turned, to see Astrid standing at the foot of the porch, her eyes widened at the words my father had just uttered.