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Chapter 14
Huling Na-update:
2023-02-03 17:26:22Kaugnay na kabanata
Handwritten Destiny Chapter 15
PatheticTuluyan lang akong nakahinga nang malalim nang mapag-isa sa kwarto. I must have been crazy to let him hug me like that. I’d like to think I was just carried away by the mood and by guilt for his birthday. When we don’t even get along well until now. O kung matatawag ko nga bang ‘maayos’ ang turingan namin ngayon.I’m still angry with the situation I am in. And I don’t think I would ever get over it. Lalo pa’t habang dumadaan ang mga araw na ginagawa ko ito, pabigat nang pabigat ang guilt na nararamdaman ko.I looked at my phone to see if Jade had left me updates about Francis, pero wala. Hindi ko alam kung mapapanatag ba ako o lalong mag-aalala. Sinabihan ko pa naman sina tita Dehlia na dadalaw ako kapag walang trabaho. I wonder if we would be going home early tomorrow?I just changed into casual clothes. Wala rin naman akong planong maligo dahil malamig na so I didn’t bother packing a swimsuit. Hindi rin naman kami magpapalipas ng gabi roon so I think it’s fine not to bring
Huling Na-update : 2023-02-06Handwritten Destiny Chapter 16
ScaredI wanted to laugh out of anger, despair, and hoplessness. Bakit ko nga ba kailangang pagdaanan ang lahat ng ito? Ilang beses ko nang naitanong sa sarili iyan. And just like the previous times, I still couldn’t get an answer. Being happy is a luxury to me. Simple lang naman sana ang gusto at pangarap ko - ang mamuhay nang payapa at tahimik. Pero kahit iyon ay tila kay-ilap at imposible.I kept asking myself ‘why’ as I drown myself. I didn’t mind to struggle even when I don’t know how to swim. And I don’t expect anyone up there to save me either. I just closed my eyes as my back touched the cold floor of the swimming pool. I heard water splashing but I couldn’t care less.The next thing I noticed, I was out of the water and someone is putting pressure on my chest. Noises filled my ears but I couldn’t comprehend a word. Then something cold touched my mouth, blowing air in it. Doon lang tila bumalik ang paghinga ko. I coughed so hard that I almost lost my breath again.“Fuck, I tho
Huling Na-update : 2023-02-09Handwritten Destiny Chapter 17
EngagementI barely moved from where I was standing. Halos mabingi ako sa katahimikan nang magpatuloy si tita Dehlia sa paglapit. I can sense her anger and I couldn’t look at her straight.“Ano’ng ginagawa mo rito?” Malamig niyang tanong.I closed my fist tight as I weave the words inside my head. I didn’t know what to say but judging from her coldness towards me, even if I explain myself right now, it wouldn’t help. Pero gusto kong magbakasakali, na sana maging bukas ang isipan nila sa paliwanag ko.“Gusto ko pong makita si Francis,” pigil ang emosyon kong sambit.“Alam mo parang anak na ang turing ko sa iyo. Masaya akong nakikitang masaya ang anak ko dahil sa iyo, dahil iyon lang naman ang gusto ko. Ang makita silang masaya. At nakikita ko ring mahal mo ang anak ko, kaya hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit mo nagawa sa kanya ito,” nanginginig ang boses na aniya.Para akong sinaksak ng ilang beses sa narinig. Marahas kong pinalis ang luhang naglandas sa pisngi ko pero lalo lang lumala a
Huling Na-update : 2023-02-11Handwritten Destiny Chapter 18
Hurt“Nababaliw ka na ba?”I couldn’t believe it. I just can’t. Hindi pa nga ako tuluyang nakakamove-on sa pamilya ni Francis tapos ito naman? Can’t anyone give me a break even for one second?“I’m afraid I’m being serious here, Miss Villareal.” His business-like tone came back which had me wondering. Pati na rin ang malamig niyang titig.And yet here I am actually hoping, slightly hoping, he had stopped being hostile with me as we spent time together. Gusto kong matawa nang maalalang, oo nga pala, kailangan naming magpanggap sa harap ng lahat. What was I thinking? It was foolish of me to think that somehow, he had softened towards me.I held in my tears, even my anger. He remained serious and unfazed. Maya-maya lang ay unti-unti akong nanghina, nawawalan ng lakas manlaban at pumalag. All these days I have been trying to struggle my way out. And now I am totally drained. I wiped the remnants of tears on my cheek. Matapang ko siyang tinitigan at tumango.“Whatever you say,” I said out
Huling Na-update : 2023-02-14Handwritten Destiny Chapter 19
DevastatinglyLideon got me dolled up for the interview. Sa hotel room pa lang kung saan ako naghanda ay hindi na ako mapakali at panay ang lakad ko kung saan-saan. I can’t go out too in fear that one of the reporters would see me. Sinabihan na rin ako ni Lideon na huwag nang pumunta kung saan-saan.I looked at my reflection in the mirror once again to straighten up my face. Halos hindi ko nakilala ang sarili matapos akong ayusan kani-kanina lang. The make-up artist managed to highlight my natural look with light touches. At mula sa nakasanayang ponytail at bun ay inilugay ang light brown at maalon kong buhok. I don’t usually wear this hairstyle because I thought it’s messy to look at. Bumagay rin sa maputla kong balat ang maroon at tube-type na dress. Ang sabi ng stylist na nag-ayos sa akin kanina ay si Lideon mismo ang pumili niyon, pati na rin ang heels at accessories na suot-suot ko ngayon.I haven’t seen him after he picked me up early this morning. Halos kagigising ko lang niyon
Huling Na-update : 2023-02-16Handwritten Destiny Chapter 20
GoneHis parents met my father just like what they wanted. Ramdam ko ang kaba ni Papa at halata iyon sa mga galaw niya. Noon pa mang sinabi ko sa kanya ang tungkol sa gustong mangyari ng parents ni Lideon, halos hindi na siya mapakali. Bukod sa aming dalawa ni Lideon, alam niya ring palabas lang ang lahat ng ito kaya naiintindihan kong hindi siya komportableng makaharap ang mga magulang ni Lideon. And just like me, he couldn’t do anything about it.Lideon’s parents are too nice that guilt is eating me up. Hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa rin maintindihan kung papaanong nagagawa niyang magsinungaling sa parents niya nang ganito. He could’ve told them he didn’t want to settle down just yet, kung iyon naman talaga ang totoong nararamdaman niya. Mga mayayaman nga naman.They started talking about the date of the wedding and all that. Lalo lang akong kinabahan. My mind is cloudy and I still couldn’t believe this is really happening.“Naku kung hindi mo pa sinabi sa amin noong nakaraang araw, we
Huling Na-update : 2023-02-19Handwritten Destiny Chapter 21
Demise"Raul, please! Let me go just this once! Kailangan kong pumunta ng ospital!"Hindi na ako magkamayaw sa kasisigaw sa may entrance ng hotel. I don't give a damn if I'm making a scene here. At lalong wala rin akong pakialam sa mga nakikiusyusong guests na nagambala sa malakas kong boses. Oh god. I need to see Francis! I need to go to him!"Mrs. Martin, I'm really sorry. Pero bilin ni Lideon-""Damn that!" Pagkarinig sa pangalang iyon ay lalo lang akong nairita. Pero agad ko ring kinalma ang sarili at muling nagmakaawa. Hindi na magkamayaw sa pag-uunahan ang mga luha ko. "K-Kailangan kong puntahan si F-Francis, please. Maawa ka sa akin. K-Kahit ngayon lang," halos lumuhod na ako sa panghihina.It has been a while since Julienne's call and my whole body is still shaking. Hindi ako naniniwala. Hindi ako maniniwala. He won't leave me. He can't. He promised.Tuluyan akong napaluhod sa mga isiping iyon. Mabilis akong nasalo ni Raul pero tuluyan na akong nawalan ng lakas."Please," I sob
Huling Na-update : 2023-02-21Handwritten Destiny Chapter 22
Wife'You will be my wife real soon.''Mahal na mahal kita, Almene.'I closed my eyes as those words kept playing inside my head. They sound like a lullaby trying to put me to sleep. My tears fell nonstop. As if it had finally sunk down to me.Wala na siya. Talagang wala na siya at hindi na siya babalik. Wala nang pag-asa pang makikita ko siya ulit.With those thoughts my chest tightened with an excruciating pain. That the only way I could lessen it is through hurting myself. Pero pakiramdam ko kahit ano'ng pisikal na sakit ay hindi makakapantay sa sakit na nasa dibdib ko. Still, just to lessen it a little."Babe, bakit naman ganito? A-Alam mong hindi ko kakayanin. A-Alam mong hindi ko kaya. You said you wouldn't leave me. Y-You s-said you'll be my family. B-Babe ang s-sakit sakit dito," I cried pointing at my chest. Halos hindi na ako makahinga sa paninikip ng dibdib.I thought I had overcome the greatest pains in my life. Mula sa pagkamatay ni mama, sa pagkapariwara ni papa, sa mga s
Huling Na-update : 2023-02-23
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Handwritten Destiny Chapter 35
GazeRemembering what happened still pains me. Nagawa ko mang magmahal ulit pero alam ko sa sariling may bahagi sa puso kong nakalaan lang kay Francis at walang makakapagbago niyon. Kung ako lang ang masusunod ay ayaw ko munang pag-usapan ang bagay na ito. But I feel the need to open up if that would somehow help another person.He froze from where he was standing while I look at his back. Hindi siya nagsalita kaya pilit kong hinanap sa isip ang mga sasabihin."My fiance died a month after the accident," I continued. "I didn't know about the details at ngayon ko lang din nalaman ang nangyari sa fiancee mo. I'm really sorry for what happened."I can feel my chest tightening so I refrain myself from saying more. Nanatili naman siya sa ganoong posisyon hanggang unti-unti siyang humarap sa akin. His eyes are now unreadable and his face bears no emotion."So what?" He asked coldly."S-Sorry?""Why are you telling me this? Sa tingin mo ba magagawa mo akong kumbinsihin sa mga salita mo? Well
Handwritten Destiny Chapter 34
AccidentHis eyes looked like a blackhole.Iyon ang una kong napansin pagkakita sa kanya. His eyes emits no emotions at all it made me speechless. Iyon ang palagi kong binabalik-balikan habang nakatunganga sa loob ng hotel room na nai-book ko papunta rito. Raul went back to Manila as per my instruction. Ayaw niya pa ngang pumayag noong una pero kalaunan ay napapayag ko rin. Lideon bombarde me with calls all day asking if I was okay. Katatapos niya nga lang tumawag kaya may pagkakataon na akong mag-isip.I couldn't help but feel pity for that man now that I've seen him. Labis din akong nasaktan nang mawala si Francis, while he lost his fiancee too in that accident. Ang sabi sa article ay dead on the spot ang fiancee niya habang siya naman ay naisugod sa hospital at naka-survive.I walked through the small balcony of the room. Agad na sumalubong sa akin ang malamig na hangin na siyang nagbigay ginhawa sa nararamdaman ko. My eyes fixed on the sparkling lights of the different establishmen
Handwritten Destiny Chapter 33
BurnMy tears fell before I know it. Bahagya pang nanginig ang katawan ko sa biglaang pagbugso ng emosyon. I have never paid attention to what really happened after the accident. Ang tanging inalala ko lang ng mga panahong iyon ay ang kalagayan ni Francis. For once...it didn't occur to me that this could happen."Hey, hey."Lideon tried getting my attention through pulling me from my seat. Hindi ko maigalaw ang katawan ko sa gulat na kailangan niya pang hawakan ang dalawang braso ko para tumayo. My tears poured down even more when he hugged me."I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't know. I won't let you do this," he whispered over and over again while I cry on his chest.Hanggang sa pag-uwi ay hindi ako makausap nang maayos. I always end up spacing out thinking about the article and the accident. And the fact that I have to face that man and talk to him bother me even more."Do you want us to eat out or we'll head home straight?"I went back to my senses when Lideon held my hand. Nawala sa
Handwritten Destiny Chapter 32
ArticleI couldn't take my eyes off him even when he's busy with other things. Hindi naman ako dating ganito bago kami tumulak sa honeymoon na iyon. Maybe because we became more intimate with each other? Or was it because he confessed?Naguguluhan man ay hindi ko rin maipagkakaila sa sariling masaya ako sa nangyayari. I hate to admit it but I can't deny either that I'm starting to develop something for him. Even when a lot of things are unclear between us, lalo na ang pabigla-bigla niyang pag-amin ng nararamdaman. He had always been straightforward, I'm aware of that. But, something else is bothering me.Walang ibang laman ang isip ko kundi iyon kahit sa kalagitnaan ng presentation ng mga empleyado ni Lideon. They were presenting different designs of buildings. They were great. Kahit naman wala akong madyadong alam sa Architecture ay marunong naman akong tumingin ng magandang gawa ng sining."I heard you personally wanted Mr David Allen for this project, Mr Webb?" Lideon's voice is co
Handwritten Destiny Chapter 31
SmittenSabay silang nag-angat ng tingin nang pabalibag kong sinarado ang pinto. Lindsay smirked at me and bend closer to Lideon. Bahagya niya pang isinanggi ang dibdib niya sa balikat ni Lideon bago tuluyang lumayo."Opps! I thought your 'wife' isn't coming?" Mapanuyang aniya na diniinan ang salitang 'wife.'Though affected, I just looked at them with indifference. Tila noon lang natauhan si Lideon at mabilis na tumayo at naglakad palapit sa akin."It's not what you think," he quickly held my arm when I was about to turn my back on him.Imbes na tingnan siya pabalik ay muli akong bumaling sa nakangising si Lindsay. She's giving me the kind of look that she knows something I don't. At lalo lang nagngitngit ang loob ko dahil doon."Mukhang may ginagawa yata kayong importante. Nakakaistorbo ba ako?" May diin sa boses ko nang tanungin si Lideon. I stared at his hand on me then to his face. Naroon ang pagkataranta sa mga mata niya.He clenched his jaw and let out an exasperated sigh. Pagi
Handwritten Destiny Chapter 30
Torture"What are you thinking?" He whispered softly.Hindi ako umimik. It doesn't feel right to open up to him just because something happened between us. Naninibago ako. At hindi ko rin alam kung tama bang hayaan ko ang sarili nang ganito. Lalo pa't hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin natatanggal sa isip ko si Francis. Ilang linggo pa lang mula nang mailibing siya. And I don't think what I'm feeling is right.I don't know anymore. Maybe it's safer to just distance myself even after what happened. It don't feel right about everything at all.He caressed my stomach lightly which tingled my insides. Marahan niya akong iniharap sa kanya at sinilip ang mukha ko."You're making me nervous," aniya at hinawakan ako sa pisngi.God, it would have been simpler if he's not treating me like this. I roamed my eyes around and all I could ever see were unfamiliar faces. He couldn't be doing this for people to see, right? Kung ganoon, bakit?I couldn't bring myself to ask him either. Kung ano na ba kami ng
Handwritten Destiny Chapter 29
FearIt's probably because I'm tipsy. Right. It's probably the alcohol. There's no way I'd be this affected with his gazes when I'm sober. Dahil lang sa alak ito. Ang init na ito, dahil lang din sa alak.But why can't I withdraw myself from staring back at him?I know I should gather my senses together. Dahil alam kong pagsisisihan ko itong lahat kapag nagising ako kinabukasan. This heat, this tension... This desire. Ngayon lang ito."Almene," his hoarse voice tingled my skin.Napakurap ako at tumitig sa kanya nang maayos. His eyes remained the same. The emotions I see in them are still the same. Desire, lust, and something else I couldn't name."O-Oh?" Nanunuyo ang lalamunan kong sambit.I don't understand myself anymore. I want him near, so near until I couldn't get ahold of my sanity. I want him so close to me I feel like dying. Ano itong nangyayari sa katawan ko?His fingers trailed from the bed to the hem of my shirt. Bahagyang nasagi ng kamay niya ang balat ko na lihim akong nap
Handwritten Destiny Chapter 28
WantI stared at the blue sky reflecting on the waves as I try to gather my thoughts. Kung bakit ako nakaramdam nang ganoon ay hindi ko rin mawari. These past days have been confusing, kahit alam kong hindi naman dapat.I shouldn't get curious about who that woman is. That wouldn't be right in any way. Kanina ko pa kinakastigo ang sarili sa mga isiping iyon. O dahil kaya to sa nangyari ng nagdaang gabi? Siguro nga.The deafening silence bore me that I decided to go out and explore the whole cruise. What else would I be doing in a ship like this? Hindi ko pa alam kung saan papunta ito at nakalimutan ko ring itanong kay Lideon. Not that it matters. Gayong palabas lang naman ang lahat ng ito. So might as well enjoy myself while this extravagance lasts.I went out to see if Lideon's around but he wasn't. Ni anino niya ay hindi ko mahagilap sa mga guests na paroon at parito sa corridors. Karamihan sa mga guests ay mga foreigner. May mangilan-ngilang mukhang pinoy.Nagsimula kong tahakin an
Handwritten Destiny Chapter 27
GreedyHindi ko alam kung paano niya nagawang kumbinsihin ako para sa palabas na ito. But here I am, following him while dragging my small luggage. Sinalubong kami ng mga staff ng cruise ship at kinuha ang mga maletang dala namin. I turned to look at Lideon's bodyguards, sakto namang pag-alis ng van na sinakyan namin."Let's go," Lideon turned to me and held my waist.Napapakurap akong sumunod, hindi matanggal sa paligid ang tingin. His warm hand ignited my skin that I jolted a little with his touch. Hindi rin nakatulong na hindi mawala sa isip ko ang mga nangyari ng nagdaang gabi.It was my first time being intimate on that level with a man. Matagal man ang naging relasyon namin ni Francis pero kailanman hindi umabot sa ganoon ang intimacy naming dalawa. Sure he kisses me and I do, too. But what I felt last night with Lideon's touch and kisses was different.Ipinilig ko ang ulo para pawiin ang mga naiisip. Pero kahit ano'ng gawin ko pilit sumisilip sa utak ko ang mga nangyari. Hindi
