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How to forgive myself ?
Last Updated:
2023-05-10 19:28:51Related chapters
HIS LOVE BEYOND WORDS My dreams are within reach
The next morning, Aden was at our doorstep. As soon as he saw me he jumped on me, lifting me up and down. I laughed at his ardor before he dropped me off. But at the same time, I heard a moan of pain as Aden complained. We looked to find Kyle frowning as he just punched Aden. "But what's your problem?" "You're the guy who was supposed to be received by the Emir I think, Aden Logan if I'm not mistaken... but who allowed you to touch my mother? You should keep your hands on you, mom belongs to Dad...” Aden felt a vein pulsate on his forehead, this rascal, he looks like his cunt father, both are so harmful. "Who are you to my mother?" Aden remained silent, he looked at Emma and smiled, he could have teased this brat and at the same time provoked his father by saying that he is the one who could have been their father, but good times when he liked to be petty are gone, now he's more mature and he's given up on the idea of hooking up with Emma one day. He stroked Kyle's head d
Last Updated : 2023-05-10HIS LOVE BEYOND WORDS My greatest inspiration.
Marriage, if someone had spoken to me about that a few more weeks ago, I would have started to cry, regretting having lost Michaël. But now as I'm in this room waiting for the bride's entrance music to play, I feel like I'm in a dream. I've had time to fix all my wrongs on the people I've hurt and now I can say with certainty that I'm ready to live the life that comes my way. After talking to Charlotte, I went to see Cherry. I had been so unfair to her by not allowing her to get to know each other, yet it was her dearest wish for two reasons. I am the woman his best friend is in love with and I am the best friend of the woman she is in love with. It was a bit funny these relations between us, just to say that I occupied an important place in her life without even having already spoken to her. So I went to their apartment, they were living together and because of Cherry's career, they had decided to have a common-law relationship even though a baby was in discussion. They wante
Last Updated : 2023-05-10HIS LOVE BEYOND WORDS It's another injustice
I tried to hold on as I saw the ground move closer and closer to my face as if in slow motion, but my arms had become useless, and then a sickening crackle stirred in the air. I hissed, an animalistic sound escaping my lips as a jolt of pain shifted from my outer core to my insides; I desperately wanted to fight back - but I knew that would draw too much attention to my body. So I lay down, as I had so many times before, and a group of girls surrounded me with disgusting smiles on their faces. They all hated retards, they said - they all hated me. And though I hated them too, I didn't lift a finger against them. I knew I shouldn't. So I didn't.A kick to my ribs sent a scream over my bleeding lips, and my watery eyes widened as I tried to escape the pain. My thoughts, though battered, were clear as day. I had either ripped open the earlier wounds or they were swelling again. My head ached, and I silently wondered if there was a sedative lying around somewhere that I could take to keep
Last Updated : 2023-02-14HIS LOVE BEYOND WORDS Safe at home
My body feels heavy as I open my eyes and realize I am lying in a bed... a bed? I straighten up as if I have been stung and turn to study my surroundings... big mistake, I did this way too fast and now my neck hurts a lot. I raise my hand to massage the sore spot and see bandages on my forearm. Someone has taken care of me. So I decided to find out where I am, and when my mind finally calms down, I recognize the room. A small drawer, a window with the dimensions of an A4 format, a work table with some books and notebooks... exactly as I left it this morning, and a dressing room with no more than twenty clothes. Yes, it's my room, I am in my room on my bed and its gray sheets... as gray as my life. I hear footsteps and turn around as the door creaks open. There she appears, my big sister Jeanne, who, by the way, is my legal guardian. She looks at me with watery eyes and I know she must have cried a lot because her eyes are red... red and swollen. I feel guilty for doing this to
Last Updated : 2023-02-14HIS LOVE BEYOND WORDS I need to change my school
My sister had to do and give a lot so that I could see on her sweet face that satisfied and proud smile that meant only one thing: I was accepted into this school. I smile smugly, not that I dislike in the least the fact that my sister managed to find this place for me and thus protect me from my bullies because what my sister does for me is invaluable and I cannot thank her enough. No, what saddens me is the sacrifices she is willing to make for me. I do not mean to insult her efforts, no, it touches me and makes me happy, but the worry is that it makes me feel remorse. My poor sister, who is so young and beautiful because of me, can not take advantage of her youth, she can not even have fun with her friends...if she even has time for that, she can not afford the clothes she likes, and at almost 28 she has not had a real romantic relationship. She tells me she is happy to take care of me, but it does not make me happy to see my sister so lonely and so unappreciated. She fights for
Last Updated : 2023-02-14HIS LOVE BEYOND WORDS Time to go forward
It was finally Monday, even if I was a little apprehensive about this new stage in my life.I think of my past, of the fact that since I started going to school as far back as I can remember, the first days of school—back to school—or the rest of the school year has never been what I would call incredible.While others reunited after a long vacation, others, if they were new people, went to make friends. And, of course, there was me.I didn't go to others. I was too shy or fearful because of my situation, or to whom no one came because I was too weird, so of course the first days of class were all alike in my eyes, and in the end, I got used to it -- or not.I'm apprehensive because I'm going to arrive when everyone is already settled. I would have to present it in front of people who will certainly be waiting for me to do it. I would have to suffer the embarrassment of "Oh, she's silent," and if I still suffered the "it's a monster," all these ideas have been bothering me since the da
Last Updated : 2023-02-14HIS LOVE BEYOND WORDS Akward
I thought that when students arrived at school, they were all wearing serious expressions. Many kids were gathered in the yard, smiling and joking cheerfully. I felt a little envious of them since I saw myself one day being surrounded by friends with whom to joke around and discuss various topics. In any case, that is not the current issue. My hand begins to feel pressure, and when I look up, I see my big sister pressing her hand firmly against her chest. She simply reassured me the entire time, but based on the expression on her face, I believe she is the one who is most concerned out of the two of us. She must be thinking that I wouldn't feel out of place in this bourgeois setting because all of the students at this institution appear to be so affluent and prominent. Nevertheless, even though I was in my former high school with my buddies, I never felt like I belonged there. Because of this, I much prefer being here, at least for the time being, especially because I have a positive
Last Updated : 2023-02-14HIS LOVE BEYOND WORDS First thoughts
I can feel I'm shaking like a leaf, I can't just start doing sign language like that in front of them, they'll think I'm crazy. I feel sweat beading on my forehead and my heart beating faster. I look in front of me and all my future classmates seem to be waiting for me to say something but I don't know because the only thing I can do is act but I'm also afraid to do it.I feel the professor moving beside me and I can imagine his face, which is no doubt similar to those of my classmates – they are waiting impatiently and I imagine being annoyed.What to do but what to do?Suddenly the door opens wide and a young man enters with a bored face, he is rather tall with very square shoulders, and his face is lowered which means that I cannot see his face well under his dark hair but with fine features as I can discern there it looks beautiful - at least what I can think of the term.He passes in front of me and the teacher without saying a word and I find him particularly badly brought up, gi
Last Updated : 2023-02-14
Latest chapter
HIS LOVE BEYOND WORDS My greatest inspiration.
Marriage, if someone had spoken to me about that a few more weeks ago, I would have started to cry, regretting having lost Michaël. But now as I'm in this room waiting for the bride's entrance music to play, I feel like I'm in a dream. I've had time to fix all my wrongs on the people I've hurt and now I can say with certainty that I'm ready to live the life that comes my way. After talking to Charlotte, I went to see Cherry. I had been so unfair to her by not allowing her to get to know each other, yet it was her dearest wish for two reasons. I am the woman his best friend is in love with and I am the best friend of the woman she is in love with. It was a bit funny these relations between us, just to say that I occupied an important place in her life without even having already spoken to her. So I went to their apartment, they were living together and because of Cherry's career, they had decided to have a common-law relationship even though a baby was in discussion. They wante
HIS LOVE BEYOND WORDS My dreams are within reach
The next morning, Aden was at our doorstep. As soon as he saw me he jumped on me, lifting me up and down. I laughed at his ardor before he dropped me off. But at the same time, I heard a moan of pain as Aden complained. We looked to find Kyle frowning as he just punched Aden. "But what's your problem?" "You're the guy who was supposed to be received by the Emir I think, Aden Logan if I'm not mistaken... but who allowed you to touch my mother? You should keep your hands on you, mom belongs to Dad...” Aden felt a vein pulsate on his forehead, this rascal, he looks like his cunt father, both are so harmful. "Who are you to my mother?" Aden remained silent, he looked at Emma and smiled, he could have teased this brat and at the same time provoked his father by saying that he is the one who could have been their father, but good times when he liked to be petty are gone, now he's more mature and he's given up on the idea of hooking up with Emma one day. He stroked Kyle's head d
HIS LOVE BEYOND WORDS How to forgive myself ?
Indeed, I had never had an ultrasound so I couldn't imagine that I was expecting two children instead of one. But listening to Michaël I could only realize the baseness of my character as a mother. I had promised myself that I would never do as my mother did, which was to abandon my child, but that's exactly what I did. And I think I did worse because I disowned him, making him cry. My jealousy and anger kept me from thinking and I made horrible and unfair decisions. Manuel grew up without his mother, I understand his speech the day before. I was pathetic, I don't know how to be forgiven. I looked up at my boys on the bed and saw Manuel holding out his hands to me. " Mom..." I sobbed running to him as I hugged him, almost smothering him in my embrace. I've been so unfair, I don't know if I could ever make it up to you but I would do anything to erase the pain of my absence from my baby's heart. I'm going to be the mother he's been missing all this time. I beg your pardon
HIS LOVE BEYOND WORDS Emma and Michael
Kyle hung up before seeing his father bring him a meal tray. He made a face not understanding this silly smile before sighing remembering that it was his parent. "Hello my prince" " Good morning" Michael sighed, it won't be easy at all. "I brought you your breakfast, are you coming?" “I can feed myself you know” “I know it but I want to make sure you take your medicine” "Do I need to take it all the time? Frankly" Michaël smiled, he betrayed himself so easily, it was so adorable. “You have persistent asthma. For this, your pediatrician has asked that you follow a controlled treatment, which means that you will always have to take medication to avoid having severe attacks..." Michaël's eyes widened, if Manuel's meds are here then he won't have taken them since yesterday which means... " Shit" "Don't swear in front of a kid, I'll beg you" Michaël got up rubbing his hair before sighing. "Tell me where your brother is" Kyle almost choked before looking at his father. "W
HIS LOVE BEYOND WORDS I want to have a normal family.
I sat watching Kyle diligently eat his vegetables wondering what this drastic change was. My boy hates vegetables more than anything, but this seems to have always been his favorite meal. **Baby do you like it that much?** “Yes Mom, you are the best cook in the world” I blushed when my usually reserved son had just paid me such a nice compliment. ** Thank you, my heart..** Manuel had red cheeks, his mom is exactly as his father had described her. She is beautiful and sweet, and he also finds her cute. He wanted to have these magnificent freckles on his face but he is already considered the prettiest boy in his school so he'll settle for that degree of beauty. "Hey mum... do you have a boyfriend?" I nearly choked as my son looked at me seriously. He seemed to be waiting for that answer as if his life depended on it, where did that come from? Manuel wanted to be reassured that his mother remained faithful to his father despite the distance and the separation, not that he would
HIS LOVE BEYOND WORDS Michael meets Kyle.
Kyle sat in Manuel's room wondering when his dad...their dad was coming back. He looked at his twin's bedside table and saw the photo of their younger parents. Emma who looked at Michaël with tenderness and the latter who seemed to dedicate a cult of adoration to the girl. He sighed, the man seemed to adore their mother but why did they separate to the point where his mother left in a panic without even imagining that she had made twins and was therefore abandoning a child? Something must have happened, Manuel doesn't know the reason for this separation either, the only thing he told him was that each time his father answered him that it was his fault that his mother was gone. Because he was not up to her. It's way too vague, he needs to know the real details, but if it turns out that it was really because his dad is a bad guy, he'll just find a simple way to protect their mum, and no more hurt his little brother. Manuel also needs their mother, it hurt him to see his brother c
HIS LOVE BEYOND WORDS The twins' plan.
" Dad?" Michael looked at his son not wanting to give him false hope. He knows how much he misses his mother and how much he would like to find his brother, but he just can't tell him that he is going to find his mother and brother without any real hope. So he'll just keep his excitement to himself and go see what's going on in Tartar. "I just got an important call from Tartar, I'm going to have to go on a business trip tonight and..." "Can I come with you?" Michaël bit his lip, each time he had to make this kind of trip, he always took his son with him but this time, he is afraid that Manuel cannot stand the extremely hot climate of Tartar and that he will relapse. Manuel has been in fragile health since birth and he always made sure he got the best treatment. He is not sure that Tartar will have excellent technical platforms like here so he hesitates. "Please Dad..." He doesn't like it when his son looks at him with those big lamb eyes, he can't refuse him anything. "Good
HIS LOVE BEYOND WORDS Manuel and Kyle
The room was gloomy, all the employees around the meeting table had lowered their heads in fear of their president's cold gaze as he read the pile of documents in front of him. He had put a hand to his cheek studying the data presented to him as the people around waited fearfully for him to speak. He was known to be ruthless and was quick to get rid of people he found unnecessary. He was nicknamed the big devil, nobody wanted to attract his attention, and they did not know what he could do as he was unpredictable. He was only 27 years old but he imposed a charisma and an overwhelming aura so much that no one could retort at his word. The meeting had been going on for four hours and many hadn't even had lunch yet, but they weren't allowed to complain. He doesn't like noise and hates people complaining. This is Michaël Keller, CEO of the Keller-Clark group. Indeed, a few years earlier, Jeanne had had enough of all this business, especially since Victor had decided to join his fa
HIS LOVE BEYOND WORDS The truth
Jeanne and Fabian arrived with their two children. Fabian was carrying the baby, a little boy and Joshua was holding his mother's hand excited to see Emma's children, but especially Emma. "Ah, I can't believe my baby has become a mother in her turn" "Indeed and to say that she was expecting twins..." “Her fiancé is a pervert” "Honey, who teaches you such bad words?" " I am very clever" Jeanne sighed in front of her son while Fabian just smiled. They arrived in the hospital room finding Michaël in all his states and no trace of Emma, nor the babies “Mica?” Michaël turned away tearfully as he looked at Jeanne guiltily. A few minutes earlier, after reassuring himself that his second son, who was born more fragile than the other, had been examined by the pediatrician, he returned with him to rest him in his crib with his twin brother. But to his great misfortune, Emma was no longer in the room and neither was their son. He panicked seeing papers on the bed, when he became
