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THIRTY
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Guilty Pleasures THIRTY-ONE
NIKKI'S POV"Where have you been Gale?"He was silent for a moment, or maybe he just didn't know what to say. Hindi ko maalis-alis ang paningin ko sa mantsa ng lipstick na naroon sa kwelyo ng kanyang long sleeves. Kaya ba hindi niya ako sinipot, ay dahil may iba siyang kasama?"I'm so sorry, love... I—""You're what, Gale? Did you know I waited more than two hours for you? Para akong tanga na nakaupo doon sa loob ng VIP room, habang iniisip kung darating ka pa ba o hindi na!" sigaw ko sa kanya.I felt so humiliated, nararamdaman ko pa rin ang naawang tingin ng waiter sa akin kanina. Sa unang pagkakataon, hindi ko napigilan ang magalit. I cannot just stand here, and not think of anything other than that fucking lipstick stain his collar! Fucking lipstick stain!Natuliro si Gale at hindi nakapagsalita. Hindi ko alam kung ano'ng gagawin ko, dahil first time na nag-away kami."You know, you could have told
Guilty Pleasures THIRTY-TWO
NIKKI'S POV"Dominique, over here!" Napalingon ako nang marinig ko ang pamilyar na boses ni Adhara. Pilit kong iniwasan ang makukulay na mga ilaw na siyang sumisilaw sa mga mata ko. Ang una at huling beses na nagpunta ako sa isang bar ay noong nakilala ko si Gale, pero ngayon, siya naman ang rason kung bakit ako napunta sa lugar na ito.I walked slowly, pushing other people that are blocking my way until I reached Ara and Camille's spot. Nasa sulok kami ng bar, kung saan mayroong isang lamesa at couch. They were already having a shot of margarita when I came."Wow, you look fabulous. You should often dress like that, babe. Bagay sa'yo," Adhara complimented me.Napatingin ako sa suot kong tube top na hapit sa katawan ko, na tinernuhan ko ng maong na palda na ang haba ay nasa ibabaw ng tuhod ko. I wore a high heeled stiletto shoes, had my hair curled and put on some make up. Maging ako ay hindi ko makilala ang sarili ko, para akong sinapian ng kakaibang espiritu.
Guilty Pleasures THIRTY-THREE
NIKKI'S POVI woke up when the bright rays of the morning sun caught my sleepy eyes. I rubbed my eyes, as I clutch the blanket tighter to cover my still naked body. I cursed inside my head when I felt a throbbing pain in my head. Damn, hangovers!Unti-unti kong iminulat ang mga mata ko at bumungad sa akin ang pamilyar na kwarto ni Gale. I sighed, remembering what I did last night. I swear, hindi na talaga ako pupunta sa bar. I felt so ashamed and embarrassed of myself. Muntik na naman akong mapahamak dahil sa katigasan ng ulo ko.Bumangon ako at hinanap ang mga damit ko, ngunit hindi ko iyon makita. Paika-ika akong naglakad papasok ng banyo, para maligo. I looked at my reflection in the mirror, and was beyond shocked to see a lot of marks in my body. Flashes of last night's rough lovemaking showed in my mind. I bit my lower lip, I can still feel Gale inside of me. Hindi ko alam kung ano'ng mararamdaman ko pagkatapos ng lahat ng nangyari.
Guilty Pleasures THIRTY-FOUR
NIKKI'S POVPaano nga ba natin nasusukat ang katatagan ng isang relasyon? Sa tagal ng pagsasama? Kung minsan, dumarating ang pagsubok sa mga panahon na hindi natin inaasahan.Kung kailan akala mo, maayos na ang lahat, saka darating ang sakuna. Bibiglain ka na lang, at magugulat ka na lang hindi na pala kayo nagkakaintindihan.I sighed for the nth time. Pagkatapos ng insidenteng iyon sa bar, pinangako ko sa sarili ko na hindi na ako tutungtong doon, kahit gaano pa man ka laki ang problema na kaharapin ko. It was monday, and I was back to work.Katulad ng inaasahan, Dad scolded me for being reckless. But after that, he gave me a hug. Alam ko naman, magagalit siya sa akin, pero hinding-hindi mababawasan ang pagmamahal niya sa akin. He lectured on me, reminded me on how to act maturely. Maging si ate ay tumawag para mangamusta, at para sermonan din ako.Of course, I perfectly understand where they're coming from. Alam ko na ayaw lang naman nila akong mapahamak. No one
Guilty Pleasures THIRTY-FIVE
NIKKI'S POV"Do you think they will like it?" kinakabahan kong tanong kay Gale na ang tinutukoy ay ang regalong binili ko para sa parents niya. Isa iyong pares ng vintage collector's watch na pinaghirapan ko pang hanapin."Of course, Love. You have put so much effort in that gift. I know my parents will surely love it," Gale answered."I'm nervous, do I look good, love? Hindi ba ako overdressed or something?" I asked.Muli kong sinipat ang sarili ko sa salamin. Isang simpleng gown na kulay puti at tube style ang suot ko. Hapit na hapit ito sa katawan ko, at bahagyang nakikita ang cleavage ko.I complimented my face with a light make up. My hair was done in a messy bun, at may ilang takas na buhok sa gilid ng mukha ko. I sighed, feeling satisfied with the way I looked.Gale walked towards me, and stopped behind my back. He wrapped his hands on my waist, and rested his head on my shoulders."You look beautiful even without everything— dress and make-ups. You h
Guilty Pleasures THIRTY-SIX
NIKKI'S POVIt was like the world suddenly stopped, and a bomb exploded right in my ears. I cannot begin to explain how terrible it felt to stand in this crowd, where everyone was cheering for the man I love and the woman, whom I thought was my friend. My heart literally broke into a million pieces, as I stood there, unable to move nor wipe the tears that were falling freely from eyes.What did I do to fucking deserve this?"Love... Please, let me explain..." Gale pleaded, but I only stared at him in confusion.The man Adhara was talking about, her first love, it was him. How come I had been so dumb?"Please, Gale. Don't come near me," I said in a quivering voice.Kulang ang salitang galit para ilarawan ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. Sagad hanggang buto ang sakit na nararamdaman ko. It was the worst kind of pain that I've ever felt in my entire life.Nakarinig kami ng bulungan at noon ko napansin na nasa amin na pala ang tingin ng mga bisita. Adhara stood smiling o
Guilty Pleasures THIRTY-SEVEN
NIKKI'S POV"Did she eat already?"I heard Dad's worried voice. I'm not sure how long I slept, but when I slowly opened my eyes, it's already dark outside."Dad, Ate..." I called them.Agad silang napalingon sa akin, at muli ay nabalot ng pag-aalala ang kanilang mga mukha."Are you hungry, anak? Nicole, get your sister some food," utos ni Dad.Umiling ako. Hindi naman ako nagugutom, nasasaktan ako. Mas mabuti pang matulog na lang ako buong araw para hindi ko maalala ang sakit. Kapag gising ako, parang sirang plaka na paulit-ulit sa isipan ko ang mga nangyari.Ate Nicole walked out of the room to get me food. Bumangon ako at sinandal ang likod ko sa head board ng kama. Isang araw na pala ang lumipas, kaya ko pa bang magpatuloy?"Kumusta ka, anak?" si Dad.He sat down on my bed, and held my hand. I turned my gaze to him, and inhaled a deep breath. I asked myself the same question for so many times, and I know I'm not okay. It will take so much time befor
Guilty Pleasures THIRTY-EIGHT
NIKKI'S POV"Dominique, Love! Mag-usap tayo, please..."Naalimpungatan ako nang makarinig ako nang malakas na sigaw at kasunod niyon ay ang pagkalampag sa gate namin. Mula sa bintana ng kwarto ko na nasa second floor ng bahay, ay kitang-kita ko si Gale na nakatayo sa harapan ng gate namin. Ilang beses niyang pinukpok at kinalampag ang bakal na gate, ngunit parang hindi niya iniinda ang sakit.Lumabas ang isa naming katulong at sinubukan siyang kausapin, ngunit patuloy siyang nagpumilit."Please! Alam kong nariyan siya sa loob. Please, hayaan niyo naman akong makausap siya, oh. Love! Hindi ako aalis dito hanggat di mo ako kinakausap!" sigaw niya.Umalis ako sa bintana nang dumako roon ang kanyang paningin. Sobrang lakas ng tibok ng puso ko at pakiramdam ko ay para na itong sasabog. Isang araw ko pa lang siyang hindi nakikita, pero parang kay tagal na. My chest hurt big time, thinking about how he could say those words without remembering what he did to me. How can
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