Chapter 5

Nakatitig lamang ako sa kawalan habang hawak sa kamay ko ang printed IATA codes na kinakailangan kong memoryahin. I can't think straight, seriously. What happened last night still hunts me. 'Yung sadya kong pilitin siyang ipabalik ako ng Maynila ay naudlot sa kagaguhan niya kagabi.

I mean, who would in the right mind will say those things, right? Kapatid niya ako, ngunit kung makahalik parang hindi. Is this some kind of joke? Like, seriously, I don't do incest! Kahit makasalanan akong tao, hindi ko lubos maisip na gagawa pa ako ng isang napakalaking kasalanan. Ugh! Damn it!

Abala ako sa paghihilot ng aking sintido nang mapansin ko si Bina na balisa habang hawak ang tray na may lamang juice at iba pang pang-meryenda. Kaya dala ng kuryosidad, umalis ako sa hammock at nilapitan siya.

"What's wrong?" I asked her.

Bumadha sa mukha nito ang pagkagulat. "S-senyorita Vielle! Kayo po pala. B-bakit po?"

Nangunot ang noo ko nang mapansin kong namumutla siya at nanginginig. "Why are you trembling? At saan mo 'yan dadalhin?"

"K-kay senyorito Daze p-po." Yumuko ito na para bang nahihiya.

"Pinagalitan ka ba niya?"

"Po?" Her eyes widen. "H-hindi po! M-mali po ang pagkakaintindi niyo,"

Napabuntong hininga ako. I still have soft sides for girls at her age, that's why I'm doing this against my will. "Give me the tray, I'll hand it to him personally."

Agad siyang napahakbang paatras nang akma kong kukunin mula sa pagkakahawak niya ang tray. "P-po? P-pero, S-Senyorita-"

Tinaasan ko ito ng kilay. Napayuko naman ito at may pagdadalawang-isip na iniabot sa akin ang tray. Hilaw ko itong nginitian at naglakad paakyat ng ikalawang palapag, patungong study room niya.

Nang makarating ako sa harap ng study room nito, kumatok ako. I knocked for over many times but still no one answered. Baka wala dito? And to make sure about my conclusion, I held the door knob and turned to open.

I opened the door and roamed my eyes to look for my brother. Ngunit sa tingin ko ay isang napakalaking pagkakamali ang ginawa ko.

I saw how they stop what they were doing. The girl look at me in horror while my brother was just staring at me with an stoic face. Mas lalo akong napatanga nang mapagtanto ko ang posisyon nila.

The girl is leaning towards the table while my brother is behind her, pulling her hair using his right hand, and they're both naked. Yes, they are naked. From here, I can see her boobs lying flat on my brother's table. Gulong-gulo ang buhok nito at nakikita ko ang pawis mula sa kanyang sintido.

I stood still.

Kaya ba namumutla si Bina?

Why are they having sex here?

Dito ba dinadala ni kuya ang mga babaeng sinisiping niya?

"Uhm..." Tumikhim ako at yumuko; red stained my cheeks due to embarassment. "M-meryenda niyo." Nakakahiya namang magsiping kayo ta's wala kayong lakas.

Nilabanan ko ang panginginig ng aking kamay. This is just a normal scenery for me. I've seen different point of views from people having sexual intercourse, but in my brother's case... it's different. P-parang nakakapanibago.

"Get out and close the door for a moment, Diana," he ordered, I obeyed.

Agad akong humakbang paatras at sinarado ang pinto. I exhaled loudly, I didn't noticed I was stopping my breath. Well, the scene was breathtaking... and disgusting. I mean, isn't it inappropriate for couples to have sex in a study room?

Wait.. couples? That girl isn't Taliah the bitch. So who's that? Is my brother cheating? Oh well, ayaw ko rin naman sa babaeng 'yun.

Natigil ang kung ano-anong iniisip ko nang bumukas ang pinto at bumungad sa akin ang babaeng nakasuot ng pencil skirt at long-sleeve polo na pinatungan ng itim na blazer. The logo on her right chest signifies where she worked. She's working for my brother. A secretary? Head of a department? I can't guess.

She smiled at me. I can sense how embarassed she is at the moment. "P-pasok ka..."

"Uhm, no need." I smiled and hand her the tray. "Just give this to kuya."

As soon as she accepted the tray, agad akong tumalikod at pumasok ng aking silid na hindi man lang nagpapaalam sa kanya. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Pero naiinis ako. Siguro ay sa kalakasan ng apog ni kuya na mangsiping ng babae dito sa rest house niya habang andito pa ako, porket wala sila mama, e.

"Damn," I whispered to myself when I faced the mirror.

Pulang-pula ang mukha ko. Tangina naman.

Dumapa ako sa kama at tinakluban ang sarili gamit ang kumot. Diniin ko ang aking mukha sa unan at tumili nang malakas. Moments later, I got up and sat on the bed. Nilingon ko ang vanity mirror at pekeng ngumiti sa sarili.

Yeah, right. It's not a big deal. You've seen different people doing sex, right? It should be a normal encounter for you. Pangangaral ko sa sarili.

But no. The scene keeps replaying inside my head like a broken disc! How my brother pushed and pulled himself towards the woman who was leaning on his table and how she scream in pleasure... it's something that a pure woman like me won't forget.

Bumaba ako sa kama at nagsuot ng tsinelas. Nilapitan ko ang cabinet at naghalungkat ng damit na balak kong suotin. I need to breath fresh air. Maybe I'll go out and breath. Aside sa nakita ko kanina, suffocated din ako sa presensiya ni kuya.

I choose to wore a white sleeveless fitted crop top and a nude color cargo pants. Pinaresan ko ito ng puting adidas shoes at itinali ko rin ang buhok ko into ponytail. This outfit gives me confidence and gives off aesthetic vibes. Just my taste.

Nang matapos na akong magbihis ay muli kong pinasadahan ng tingin ang aking sarili sa salamin. Then my eyes darted on my butterfly necklace, wala sa sarili akong napahawak dito. Sumikdo ang sakit sa puso ko nang maalala ko ang taong nagbigay sa akin nito.

Kiyo Vasquez. The person who only did nothing but to appreciate me and my flaws. Kamusta na kaya siya? Mabuti kaya ang lagay niya sa States? Does he still think of me? Napahigpit ang kapit ko sa kwentas. Maybe he don't anymore. I heard he's getting married right after he'll graduate in his Business Management course, the reason why he flew to States.

"Babalik ako, Lilac. I promise."

Mapait akong napangiti at kumurap-kurap nang maramdaman kong umiinit ang gilid ng mga mata ko. Babalik ka pa kaya?

He's a citizen residing in Cebu. We met in college since he was studying in UP and me as a freshman. Magkasing-edad lang sila ni kuya ngunit mas maagang nagtapos ang kapatid ko. I smiled suddenly. That jerk. All I thought he was cold, but he's not! He's as chessy as hell...

I missed him...

Tumikhim ako nang maramdaman kong parang may bumikig sa lalamunan ko. Hindi na ako aasa pang babalik 'yun. At kung sakaling babalik man siya, baka may pamilya na siya. And whoever the woman he'll love, she must be very lucky. The almost-perfect-man in the world I've known is into her. That stings. Unrequited love and unsured promises sucks.

Humugot ako ng malalim na hininga at ngumiti ng pilit habang nakatitig sa kwentas bago ko napagdesisyunang lumabas ng silid. May pera naman ako sa bank accounts ko, meron din akong cash in case of emergency. But I need my brother's permission.

Paano ko siya haharapin? The scenery assaulted my brain cells once again.

Damn, bakit na ako nahihiya kung sila naman ang nahuli ko sa akto? Yeah, right. I shouldn't feel embarassed about it.

Kaya habang may lakas na loob pa ako para magpaalam, kumatok ako ng pinto. Nakakalimang katok ako nang pagbuksan ako ng pinto ng babaeng nagbukas din ng pinto kanina.

"H-hi. Pasok ka." She awkwardly said.

Pilit akong ngumiti dito bago pumasok ng silid. There I saw my brother, sitting on his swivel chair and reading something like nothing happened a while ago. So I guess the girl is his secretary?

"What do you want, Diana?" He asked without looking at me.

Tumikhim ako at pinatuwid ang aking likod. "Magpapaalam lang sana ako. Gusto kong libot sa boracay."

"Who's with you?" tanong nito saka siya nag-angat ng tingin. I saw how his jaw set when his eyes darted on my clothes. "And why are you only wearing a sport's bra?"

I played my fingers behind me. "This is not a sport's bra, kuya. Wala rin akong kasama mamasyal. I just want to go out alone."

Nagsalubong ang kilay nito bago tumango. "Okay. Jose will come with you."

"Who's Jose?" takang tanong ko.

"Boss Daze's personal driver," singit ng babae na may pekeng ngiti.

Inis ko itong binalingan. "Did you know interjecting someone's conversation is rude?"

Kita ko ito napaiwas ng tingin at napayuko. Bitch. I murmured to myself. Lahat ba ng mga babaeng nakapaligid kay kuya ay mga mahaharot na h****t? Nakakainis.

Someone suddenly knocked on the door. "Senyorito Daze, nandito po si Senyorito Isaiah."

Tumikhim si Kuya. "Let him in."

Kasunod nito ang pagbukas ng pinto. Muli akong nagpaalam kay kuya at pumeke ng ngiti bago siya tinalikuran, sakto din namang pumasok ang lalaking sa tingin ko ay may lahing banyaga. Kaibigan ni Kuya?

Bago pa man ako makalabas ng pinto, rinig ko ang usapan nila kuya.

"I won't take too long," the guy said and laid the brown envelope on my brother's table. "Read that. I'll get going."

Lumabas na ako ng silid at dumiretso sa hagdanan. Halos maglakad-takbo ako sa tuwa. Like, who wouldn't? First time pumayag ni kuya na gumala ako, kaya lulubos-lubusin ko na.

--

Napangiti ako habang naglilibot sa buong mall. It's been a long time since I went out without hesitations and fear that my brother might caught me.

"Senyorita, ilalagay ko lang po ito sa sasakyan," saad ni mang Jose, bitbit ang paper bags na may tatak channel, hermes, at iba pang mga pinambili ko.

Nilingon ko ito at nginitian. "Sige po."

Yumuko muna ito bago naglakad paalis, habang ako naman ay nagsimula nang maglakad. My eyes keep wandering around when I suddenly bumped into someone.

"Sorry."

"Sorry!"

We both said in unision. Napatingin ako dito at napagtanto kong kakilala ko ito nang magbakasyon kami sa Satorini.

"Vielle?" he said.

My forehead creased, trying to remember him. "Lucifer?"

"You remembered me!" Hindi makapaniwalang sambit nito at pinasadahan ako ng tingin. "You look more fabulous and gorgeous!"

Napairap ako at mahinang natawa. "You became a sweet mouthed evil, I see."

He chuckled also. "Grabe ka sa'kin," he smiled. "Are you in a vacay here in Bora?"

"Yep," I said popping the 'p'. "And I know you are, too."

Ngumiti ito. We continue walking and visit some stalls here inside the Rial Mall. He just made my afternoon. Panandalian kong nakalimutan ang nakita ko kanina dahil sa mga kagaguhan niya. Like, who wouldn't? He's a talkative and very joyful individual.

"So you're taking business management instead of culinary arts?" I asked as I took a sip of my tea.

We're inside a very cute coffee shop stall, talking about what course we took and why. And his answer interest me.

"Yeah." He nodded. "I am planning to open a restaurant once I'll take over Russo Real States." He winked.

Tumango ako. "Do italianos love to cook?"

"Not all." He shrugged. "My father loves to eat instead of cooking, so yeah, not all."

Napangiti ako. Konti lang ang panahon na nakabonding ko si Lucifer dati. Nakakainis kasi, e. Napakahilig mang-asar.

Akmang magsasalita na sana ako nang humihingos na lumapit sa akin si mang Jose. "S-senyorita, tumawag po si Senyorito Daze."

Daze. Fear rushed through me making me glance at my wristwatch. Sunod-sunod ang mga pinakawalan kong mura nang mapagtanto kong alas sais na pala.

"What's happening?" Lucy asks, oblivion of the reason behind my panic.

Tumayo na ako at pilit siyang nginitian. "I-I have to go. Thanks for your time, Lucy."

"Ow-kay?" medyo patanong nitong sambit.

Nagbesohan muna kami bago ako naglakad-takbong lumabas ng coffee shop. Ramdam ko ang pagsunod sa akin ni mang Jose at katulad ko, kinakabahan.

"Bilisan niyo po, manong," may pagmamadali kong tugon at ikinabit ang seatbelt.

Nang makapasok si mang Jose sa loob ay agad nitong pinaharurot ang sasakyan. Pipi naman akong nagdarasal na sana ay walang punishment ang gagawin ni kuya. Sana naman ay hindi niya ako ipa-grounded, ano? Hindi pa naman nadadala sa suyo 'yun.

My mind is in chaos, thinking about what to reason why I came home late. Well, it's still six so it's not late. Ngunit madilim na ang kalangitan kaya lagot ako nito.

Masyadong magulo ang isip ko na hindi ko namamalayang nakauwi na pala kami. Muli na naman akong pinagpawisan ng malamig.

"M-manong, ano daw po sabi ni kuya Daze?" I asked as soon as he parked the car.

Nilingon ako nito. "Sabi niya lang po 'time'. Sobrang kaba ko po, Senyorita. Kanina pa po kasi kita hinahanap."

I nodded my head before stepping out of the car. Nagmamadali ang mga hakbang ko papasok ng resthouse. Napansin ko pa si Bina na nagwawalis ng sahig at parang nagulat nang makita ako.

Akmang papanhik na sana ako sa pangalawang palapag nang may magsalita.

"What time is it, Diana?"

I halt. Napahigpit ang kapit ko sa railings at dahan-dahan itong nilingon. Mas lalo lang din akong pinagpawisan ng malapot nang makita ko si kuya na prenteng nakasandal sa hamba ng pinto papasok ng kusina.

"K-kuya..." I breathed.

Nakatitig lang ito ng mariin sa akin at kalauna'y umalis sa kanyang pagkakasandal. He walked towards my direction and walked passed me.

He stop midway and throw me sideway glance. "Why are you just standing there?"

Napakurap-kurap ako at nagmamadaling sumunod. At habang nakasunod sa kanya, naaamoy ko na...

Naaamoy ko na ang amoy ng impyerno.