One week Bella left this room, since the last time that day happened. Auntie had cleaned her room because the condition of the room had returned to its original state. It was as if there had never been any disaster in this place.“In the end, I came back to this place,” Bella whispered.This is the only place where Bella returns, her room. She felt very tired and wanted to sleep early. But the last time she was here Bella cut her arm. Now, what else will she do, maybe she has drunk poison or hanged herself without realizing it.Bella could no longer control her consciousness. She didn't want that to happen again, that was enough. She started to go crazy, is there a way to get out of this situation. Someone inside her, another side of her. What should she do, how? Bella couldn't control herself. If she had to stay up tonight, but it didn't work anyway.There was a knock on Bella's room door from outside, without letting permission the person knocking had already
The break has ended, today Bella is back at school. Once at school, she is surrounded by friends and being chased with questions. Not about the reason she didn't go to school but about Alec's sudden departure from training.Bella herself had just heard it, she thought it was still a few months away. All friends at school were very noisy. Some students cry because do not want to be separated from Alec. His fan club was very disappointed because Alec left without saying goodbye.Classmates do feel lost but what can be done is Alec's decision. Even asking Bella, she didn't know because they had broken up. Maybe Bella shouldn't have said that to her friends because it made them even more excited.Everyone asks why they broke up, who decided first, what was the reason, and so on. Bella didn't say anything other than. "We've broken up." Only that.Rumor spreads, like this and like that, from one word of mouth to another. Bella doesn't care, it's up to them when bored
It was Bella's turn to meet dr. Diane. This clinic is big enough for private property. Doctor Diane does not appear to be married, while at the age of about 27, she may be. Just like Bella's first impression of her, dr.Diane is the type of person that Bella avoids the most. Exactly like Mrs. Rita."Do all psychologists have that impression?" thought Bella. She didn't talk much but the more she noticed the impression of dr.Diane changed slightly.There are differences, some differences between dr.Diane and Mrs. Rita. How did Bella explain it, dr.Diane did not try to pry or corner her. She felt dr.Diane gave her enough room to breathe. Their conversation went smoothly, light but contained, and Bella felt comfortable.Bella was interested in the choice of words she used, Dr. Diane's approach was also not offensive, weak but on target. Even so, Bella couldn't do what Dr. Diane wanted."I want to hear your story, you can tell me anything Bella. Like when talking to a
After school, the house was crowded because Jennie's friends from the ‘all-girls school' came to play. Dad put Jennie in a special school because that way Dad didn't have to worry about how she was at school. Especially when Dad left Jennie while on a business trip for a long timeSpecial schools are where all residents are women, starting from the principal, teachers, school administrators, and students. A private school with complete, modern facilities, it is natural to call it an elite school. They also have a special dorm, Jennie sometimes has to stay in the dorm if Dad is not at home for months.Dad would rather put Jennie in the dorm than let her live here with Mother and her sister. Bella thought at least there was she with friends. Because it would be very inconvenient if Jennie lived here with the distance from house to school which was quite far. Having to travel that far back and forth must be very tiring."Sister is home? Oh, sorry! I didn't tell you fir
Bella was at a loss for words to hear Jennie's last words which strongly reflected her selfishness. How can she not feel anxious and think it's only Jennie's problem after finding out that Jennie chose a public school because of her. She is also fed up with Jennie's positive attitude on any matter.“Mom... Allow me to do it. After all this time, I want to be with Mother as well as Sister.”Jennie convinced Mom not to worry because when she was at university, would still take a major that supports her talents. Bella didn't understand what kind of ridiculous excuse it was. If that's true, then it's enough for them to live together now.At this point, whatever Bella said, Jennie wouldn't take it. She had already made up her mind. As she gathered people and brought up this topic of conversation, Jennie already had her own answer. She doesn't need approval nor does intend to seek an opinion. From the start, Jennie's goal was to share her decision.Bella felt annoyed
All this time, the inner debate that had occurred in Bella's heart had always been kept to herself. Because the words that were thought could never come out of her lips. How can other people understand if she doesn't say it, clearly and verbally.How could Mother and Jennie understand if Bella remained silent, closing her heart tightly. Even though she didn't like it, objected, hated it so much but she just kept quiet, always like that.Now Bella realizes that expressing the hidden words in her heart doesn't necessarily make her feel better. On the other hand, she feels very bad about taking it all out on the people she cares about the most in her life. She had made a fatal mistake.Jennie's plan to enter Bella's High School continues. Many parties opposed but she remained firm in her stance. Some time ago Jennie and Dad argued on the phone. This is different from selfishness. She will not mess with the future. Jenny is very serious. Bella wondered where that belief
Bella is late, and Jennie has met with Alec. She couldn't get any closer than this."Just don't say that Jennie, please don't!" Bella prayed earnestly, watching Jennie and Alec from hiding."The reason we broke up?" Alec turned to avoid Jennie's gaze.“No, what would Alec say?” Bella was worried."Only the two of us know," Alec said firmly."Why?! You don't like my sister anymore? Don't you really love her?" Jennie insisted on finding out.To be honest, Jennie felt uneasy, couldn't believe Bella and Alec just parted ways. She is so sure that Alec still loves her sister very much. Then why did they separate? Jennie wanted to know the reason, so badly wanted to seek confirmation from Alec by coming to him directly on her own accord like this.“Jennie, when I came back and met her. The thing I thought was that without me she was fine.”Alec started talking, trying to give Jennie an understanding of how she felt. Meanwhile, Bella was standing where s
Bella raised one hand. "I will do it, Sir. I'm Bella, running for class president!""Wow!! Prok! Prok!" The whole class welcomed Bella's courage, all were clapping, whistling, and making another noise.Those who knew Bella in the class were shocked by her candidacy, unable to believe what they had just witnessed together. Likewise with Alec. But the friends, as well as Alec, didn't say anything. They just showed a reaction with a crowd cheering.The selection of the class management composition ended without a hitch. With this without voting, and without anyone raising any objections, Bella was officially appointed Class President. Her first task as class president is to divide the students in the class to form study groups.If Bella decides to team up with Alec does it looks so obvious. But this was definitely an opportunity for her. Because she became the class president indeed to take advantage of this kind of thing. Likewise, what will happen in the future.***When Bella told Wen
Bella and Alec have an appointment today. Coincidentally, their university announced it on the same day. Bella will go to university first to see the results, then go to high school to meet Alec.Bella's heart was beating fast, this was the same as when she announced the results of passing the exams at school. She pulled herself together and took a deep breath. Following the rhythmic heartbeat, feeling it with every breath.Bella's eyes followed each row of names on the sheets of paper posted on the bulletin board until her eyes finally found her name written there. Bella confirmed repeatedly that it was Bella's name and that she had been accepted."I did it!!"Not just stopping, Bella went back to reading looking for anyone from her school who was also accepted there, especially the names of her classmates. Some were accepted but they weren't the names of Bella's classmates. What can she do, hopes that her friends will be accepted at another university.Bel
Bella has also discussed dreams and aspirations with her friends. At that time Bella did not have any goals or dreams for the future. Every time that topic came up it would be a dilemma for her. At that time Bella will be more of a listener.“My wish is to leave the urban noise and live in the village. I want to live simply and enjoy the time.” Wendy's confession about her dream.“Indeed in the city, you can not do that. Live simply and enjoy your time.” Bella said."Can't at all. In the city, everything looks busy and time flies very fast. I want to enjoy my life for a long time.”“For me, I want to have a steady, stable, and guaranteed job in old age. In other words, civil servants." Bella said."Your dream is very simple." Wendy's comments."How about you Santy?" Bella asked."I? Hmm... I want to married young, had children, and lived happily together forever. Like my parents.""You don't want to have a career?" Bella is worried that her frien
Bella is still keeping the field of study she chose a secret when she applied to university. Bella had planned from the start that she would tell Mother if the chances of her being accepted were close to perfect. She has taken the entrance test but still hasn't received the results of the decision on whether she passes or not.From the entrance test that she took yesterday, Bella was actually able to predict and calculate the results. But her little heart said anything could happen, so Bella didn't want to be consumed by the confidence that could make her fall because of arrogance.What Bella wanted to say to Mom after the result announcement was in her hands. But to do that Bella still had to wait for another two weeks. Meanwhile, Mom and Jennie have been urging her to talk since Bella's graduation."Sis, you would tell me now or later what's the difference? What are you afraid of? Will Mother and I mock you if fail?!”"Don't say failure easily like that Jennie
A few months later.Today is Bella's last day as a high school student. Her last day at school, her last with friends. Today felt like an ordinary day as they were currently here still hanging out together as usual.Stay busy, laugh, and joke together with a cheerful atmosphere full of joy everywhere. Bella's classmates continue to do meaningless silliness. They also do not spare work for teachers.The graduation ceremony begins soon. The attendees of the ceremony, including the principal, teachers, school staff, parents, as well as third-grade students, and Bella, the main character who will be inaugurated after graduating from high school for three years, entered the event room today.A series of events ran smoothly until the speeches of the graduating students, where Bella was the representative. She had prepared this very well because Bella represented all the students who graduated today. She wants to convey well all the messages as well as the feelings of
During the exam period last few weeks Bella was unable to attend therapy sessions with Dr. Diane. This is their first meeting after spending a few weeks.Bella couldn't wait for it because she wanted to immediately share a story with Dr. Diane about her meeting and conversation with Dad that went very smoothly the last time. Also, she has some questions for Dr. Diane.What Bella didn't understand in her memory was that she had hated the shadows of the past. Memories of bad things in the past are etched clearly in the fragments of memories that she has. Memories that Bella wanted to forget and bury deep, at any cost until she almost lost her life.Now Bella was wondering why after meeting and talking with Dad, she could easily accept all of Dad's explanations. The anger, hatred, and disappointment that she had always believed she had for Dad vanished like air.Bella begins to doubt her childhood memories, whether the fragments of memories recorded and stored so f
On the first day, Bella went to volunteer, Mrs. Rita's words crossed her mind. On the day Mrs. Rita delivered the information she promised, she said to Bella. "Your personal opinion would be very suitable to do this volunteer activity, Bella."Mrs. Rita handed over a pamphlet about an invitation to volunteer from a social institution.“I have more or less heard about what happened to you. Of course, only a few people from the school know about this, I can guarantee that.”Bella never really told her friends the real reason behind her absence from school. What her friends know is that Bella is seriously ill and has to be hospitalized.“You will learn more about the PFA. Moreover, I feel that you will be able to empathize sincerely from your heart. Because after all, you've been in the same situation.”Mrs. Rita smiled warmly. “If you can overcome it, then you are also able to help others. Understand their condition and situation.”To hear honest comments
Bella was still awake but Mother didn't notice because she was sleeping facing the other way from the bedroom door. Bella used to sleep with the bedroom lights turned off. Mother thought she was fast asleep.Unlike usual, Mom usually only came to Bella's door to look and then left. Mother stepped in and sat down beside Bella's bed. Bella could feel the soft caress of her hair, but she still intends to sleep accompanied by a soft, loving caress from Mother. Then she started to hear Mother sobbing."Why is Mom crying?" Though Bella hesitated between pretending to be asleep or turning to look at Mom.Mom wouldn't want Bella to see her cry. But Bella couldn't help herself because she really couldn't stand to see Mother cry. Every drop of Mother's tears felt heavy for her, especially if the tears fell because of her."Mother... Why? What happens? Did Mom cry because of me?" Bella thought."Mother..." Called Bella turned to look at her."Oh Bella, I'm sorry I
Alec walked out of Bella's house. The original plan that was supposed to go with his girlfriend was finally canceled. Alec has free time that makes him confused about how he should spend it. Alec didn't want to stay with Bella for long, thus preventing her from resting."Brother Alec, you here. Didn't you go with Sister?" Asked Jennie who passed in front of the house with Alec."Yeah, your sister doesn't feel well. But she's fine, don't worry.""Thank you for taking care of my sister, Brother."Jennie had never spoken directly to either Alec or Bella about how happy she was to hear that they were back together. But before that happened Jennie always felt sure they couldn't let go of each other.Alec smiled. "I have to go now..."“Be careful on the road. Ah! Big brother waits—" Jennie stopped Alec from leaving.Alec stopped walking and turned to look at Jennie again. "Yes, why?""That, umm I..." Jennie looked doubtful."What is it? Just say it
Someone told Bella that Mrs. Rita was waiting for her in the counseling room. Now Bella doesn't have to worry about meeting Madam Rita. She had time to discuss with Dr. Diane about her counseling teacher.Doctor Diane tells Bella many things and opens her narrow-minded about the world and the work of a psychologist. Doctor Diane explained as if she really understood Mrs. Rita even though they didn't know each other and had never met before.Bella wants to apologize for all her actions and bad attitude so far. As Dr. Diane said, Bella misjudged Mrs. Rita, unable to understand her good intentions in wanting to help Bella. Only the approach of Dr. Diane and Madam Rita is different, it is very clear because they are different people too."Sorry for my attitude all this time Ma'am, and thank you for never giving up on me," Bella said, looking down in shame."I'm okay Bella, I accept your apology." Mrs. Rita smiled while drinking her hot tea.Bella and Mrs. Rita's