Chapter Six

“Where have you been this time?” that’s the first question did my mom asked, I bow down my head and greet her but she refused. “Are you doing something I don’t know in my back, Adrianna?” she added. I looked at her with no expression.

“I didn’t do anything mom, I’m with my friend,” I answered. I was about to turn my back to her when she called me again.

“Your dad.” I froze as she is. “Your dad came here, do you wanna see him, right?” the way she asked, it’s obvious that her voice broke. I didn’t answer, I’m waiting for her another remark. “If you want to see him, go on. I won’t stop you but—” She stopped again, she looked at me with a serious look. “Don’t come back here, if you’re going to meet him.” That’s it!

“Mom, why are you like this? He’s my dad, of course, I want to see him. He was away from me for how many years because you don’t want me to see him and as he is. And now, you asked me if I want to see him? But you gave a condition that I will choose.” I stopped, I felt something in my cheeks. Did I cry? I can’t cry in front of her.

“Mom, let me ask you this, for the first time. Do you really love me? Do you see me as your daughter?” I can’t stop my tears from falling down. This is the question I really want to ask her, I just keep it for years. She didn’t look at me in my eyes, she turned away.

“Don’t ask me a stupid question, you are not a kid anymore.” She said, yeah I am not a kid anymore but even when I’m a kid, she’s also like this. She treated me like I’m not her daughter, I’m not from his womb nor I’m not her blood.

“Mom, is it too hard to answer that stupid question? Why can’t you say the true Mom? I’m too tired for handling this situation. I always did everything just to make you happy for me, just make you compliment me because I did an amazing action but still. You can’t notice my existence. Yeah, sure you did but in a negative way.” I lost me breathe. She turned her back to me.

“Do you really want me to answer that, Adrianna?” she asked, I didn’t respond, I waited for her to speak more. Yeah, I want to hear hurtful words from her. I felt numb for everything from the start when I with her.

“Yes, I don’t love you. You are my bad luck. Because of you, your dad left me! He didn’t love me from the start, then when he finds out that I’m pregnant, he left me without saying anything. You and your dad are my bad luck!” she shouted, I know, this is what she’s going to say. Nothing new, but I don’t know why I want to hear it more. It’s still hurt to hear a hurtful word, I thought it won’t affect me anymore, but I was wrong.

“Stop crying! You don’t have the right to cry!” she shouted back, she turned her back at me and walked away.

Why the world is so cruel. I don’t have my father since when I’m a kid, I have a mother but she doesn’t love me. Am I really that unlucky? I wiped my tears away and fixed myself. Crying is useless. I don’t have a class tomorrow, I can find my part-time job then.

Early in the morning, I woke up with a bad dream. I don’t understand why I dreamed a weird dream. I can’t see the man’s face in my dream but it shows there that he’s crying over me. He begged me to stay with him, weird.

I went to the kitchen to see if my mother is there but I failed, I think she’s in the public market now. He’s a vendor there. I remember our argument yesterday. Before I went to sleep, I realized something. If she doesn’t love me, why would she be still on my side? If she doesn’t love me, why she’s still giving my needs. I’m confused, or is she doing that because of her obligation to me? I don’t know, it’s make’s me suffocate to think more.

I went out to go to school when my phone vibrated, I checked it and saw the message of the Unknown number.

“Hi, I’ll fetch you. Wait for me, babe."

Who the fuck is this? I typed a message to reply, saying “Who are you?” minutes later, the unknown number replied and I almost drop my phone when I saw his name. The hell!

I didn’t reply and started to walk again when my phone rang. I rolled my eyes when he called, I canceled the call and didn’t care anymore. I don’t want to see him, he will annoy my day again.

My phone keeps ringing, it’s irritated. I sighed before answering the call, I didn’t mind looking at the screen of my phone, I know that jerk will call again.

“What now?” I said with an irritating voice.

“It’s me.” I froze when I heard my dad’s voice. I fix myself. “Where are you?” he asked.

“I’m on my way to school, why dad?” I’m hesitating to mention the word, dad. I’m not still comfortable.

“Can I have your time today, sweetheart?” he said.

“What about it, dad?” I asked. “Is it important?” I added. I heard him sighed.

“My family wants to see you.” I stopped walking of what he said. I felt my heartbeat so fast. “Please sweety. Can I have your time today?” he asked for the second time. I breathe in.

My thought right now is getting me weak. What if, his family won’t like me? What if, something will happen? And what if, mom will find out. For sure, she will freak out.

But why would I'm thinking this? I shouldn’t not. Nothing will happen to me but maybe not now, I think it’s not time to see his family.

“I’m sorry dad, I am so busy today. Can I think first?” I said.

“Oh, okay. But if your mind will change, call me and I will fetch okay?” he said. I nodded even though he didn’t see me.

“Okay dad, give me a little bit time,” I said for the last time before ending the call.