PART ONE; FATHER PLEASE: DON'T FORGIVE ME, FOR I WILL SIN

FATHER PLEASE.

I decided I wanted him the moment I laid my eyes on him, there was something about the way his both hands gripped the sides of the chalice, that could easily be my waist, he could dip and touch me anywhere with those hands, my fingers tracing his thick veins that entwined on his even thicker arms.

But great Aunt Cheryl was staring intently at me, waiting, i am thoroughly confused as to what she wants me to do, until she shuts her eyes, ah! That's what I am supposed to do then, i tell myself as I shut my eyes to please her.

In my mind's eye, the beautiful man with ash blond hair and brown eyes tucked a wisp of stray hair behind my ears. The simple skin contact causes my spine to straighten.

My great Aunt Cheryl nudges me with her shoulder and with that, beautiful man disappears, i suppress an irritated sigh, I’m starting to see the reasons she was cut off from the family. When my eyes drop to hers, I see she is pointing at her hymn book and then to the one in front of me. I give her a grateful smile, that I hope didn’t look as fake as it was.

Once I was certain her gaze was averted, my eyes roam the front of the church, but the beautiful man I had seen earlier had disappeared.

Now, wasn’t that just disappointing? Lucky for me, since my great Aunt has asked me to wait until mass is over for today, she can introduce me to everyone. Let’s cross our fingers that our beautiful man is among the people I’ll be introduced to.

“Melanie Rose, come with me, there are more than a few people who would want to meet you.” She says to me immediately the mass was over.

Only Great aunt Cheryl calls everyone by their full name these days.

“I don't know why they want to meet with me, I don’t want to meet with me.”

She pulls me by the crook of my elbow, my legs are following after her as we zig zag through the crowd and the seats, but my eyes are scanning the receding crowd for beautiful man. No luck finding him.

“Melanie Rose!”

I roll my eyes. She had given me a lecture about self sabotage talk as she picked me up from the airport last night, simply because I made a joke about the airplane not crashing whilst I was on it.

“Cheryl!” a sickeningly sweet voice calls out, drawing her attention from me.

“Oh, Mary dear, meet my great niece, Melanie Rose Patterson.”

I put on a smile that matched Mary's, syrupy and overly sweet.

“Wonderful, I’m glad to have you in our midst today. Welcome to Ashburn, I’m certain you’ll love it here. My name is Mary Gardener.”

I peg Mary as an open book, she looks exactly how she is. And like my great aunt Cheryl, Mary is in a habit, she is also a nun.

“I am excited to be here..” a big lie.

“I know we will get along just fine.” Another big lie, I usually run the opposite direction from nuns.

“Mary waited outside my door for you last night, imagine her disappointment when she heard you preferred to stay at a hotel.” Great aunt Cheryl says this like I sinned by staying at a hotel. But you would too if she asked you to stay in the dorm with her and all the other nuns, yeah no.

“Mary, Cheryl, hogging the child to yourself I see.” A newcomer says, joining the group. A kid trailing behind her, his nose buried in his iPad.

She looks relatively younger than my aunt who is almost seventy.

“Hi, I’m Hannah.”

“Father Bernard has asked to see both of you.” She tells my aunt and Mary.

They mumble that they’d be right back before rushing away. I feel much better now that they’ve gone.

“You are the niece Cheryl is always talking about.”

She could have been talking about my older lawyer sister, nobody is ever talking about me to their friends, certainly not to their nun friends.

“Great niece.” I correct automatically.

Hannah blinks, as if I insulted her by correcting her. Her nose twitches upward.

“I heard about what happened to you, it's sad. Losing your entire family in a day. That must be troubling.”

Now my temper flares, she didn’t say it in a way that says she is horrified by the situation, she says this like she was rubbing it in my face that her family is complete.

“Actually, what’s troubling is your kid, he is yours right?”

She instinctively steps in front of him.

“I had him before I became a nun. Before the Lord saved me.”

“Oh, I don’t care about that trust me. But what is troubling is what your son is watching on his iPad. I saw it and asked the Lord for mercy.” I throw on an exaggerated horrified look.

She cast a wary glance at her son and his iPad, and back at me.

“The Lord who saved you, can save him. I believe.” I say as dramatically as I can.

She hurries away with her son pulled along behind him.

“That was awesome, do it again.” I hear someone say behind me.

I mentally curse. I came here for a fresh start and was already back in my old ways, and there is even a witness.

“Danny. Your Sister Cheryl’s great niece right?”

I turn to the owner of the voice, a girl who looked my age, her lips that were painted the same black colour as her outfit smirked at me.

I gave her my syrupy smile.

“Melanie Rose Patterson. Nice to meet you, I’m excited to be in this wonderful town.”

She snorts.

“Drop the act. Nobody is half that excited to be here.”

My smile drops and I realize it hurt to smile that wide.

“I might not be excited, but I’m glad to have somewhere to be.”

She nods like she understands. She doesn't, nobody does. I spot beautiful man walk past us in a breeze. I feel my body thrum with excitement.

I guess I am excited to be here.

“Who is that?”

Danny follows my line of sight and snorts again. Might be her favourite thing.

“That’s the new priest. Well he is in training, so not quite the priest yet. Father Aryan Geller.”

Somehow that made me want him even more.

I guess that’s it then, I think getting him into my bed will prove to be even more difficult, he is a priest after all. But there is nothing I like more than a good challenge.