Chapter One

“Did you get fired from your last job?”

I did a double take as I removed the stethoscope from my ears. “Excuse me?”

“Did you get fired from your last job?” Abigail St. James repeated, impatiently holding out her arm for me to take the blood pressure cuff off. The small exam room suddenly felt constricting with the former prom queen lording herself over me yet again. It had been fifteen years since high school, yet nothing had changed.

“No, I was not fired,” I replied, trying to keep my voice calm as I undid the Velcro and hung up the cuff. “In fact, my boss begged me not to go.”

“Sure they did.” Abigail rolled her big blue eyes. “Why are you back then?”

“I wanted to be closer to my family. So I moved back and I got a job here at the clinic,” I said. “Please put your finger here so I can check your pulse.”

I held out the small pulse-ox finger machine. Abigail held out her left hand with a big sparkly diamond on the ring finger and then waggled her hand. She waited for me to put the machine on for her rather than just sliding her finger into the finger spot. It was her way of showing me that she was still in charge.

“I married Aiden. You remember, the football quarterback?” Abigail made sure to flash her big sparkly ring a little bit more. “We have three kids.”

“Congratulations.” I checked the numbers on the pulse ox and took it off her finger. Everything was normal.

“I'm sure that my son will be the quarterback just like his dad.” She looked up at me with big blue eyes and a cruel smile. “While I'm sure your kids will be sitting in the stands pigging out on nachos just like you did.”

Fifteen years and she was still a total bitch picking on the shy kid. Where she had been popular, I'd been the slightly chubby, quiet kid that liked reading and science. Abigail had made it her personal mission to harass me all four years of high school. Apparently that wasn't enough for her.

I am a professional, I reminded myself as I considered telling her that she was the one who needed to lay off the nachos now. I was the one who had seen the scale numbers. I kept my mouth shut, though. I didn't need stoop to her level.

“I don't have any children yet. I decided to focus on my career as a nurse.”

“That's too bad.” Abigail shrugged. “Kids are everything. I guess you'd need a husband for that, though, huh? I don't see a ring on your finger.”

Her words hit me with a punch to the gut. I wanted kids. I wanted a husband and kids and a dog and the white picket fence. I just didn't have them yet. I hadn't found the right guy and I was afraid that time was slipping away from me. But, the last person I wanted to tell that to was Queen Abigail.

“Okay. Everything looks good. The doctor will be in shortly to see you.” I didn't bother to smile as I went and washed my hands.

“But seriously, Hannah, why are you back?” Abigail asked. “You were free. You could have done anything. Why are you back in Riversville, Iowa?”

“Like I said, I wanted to be close to family. “ I dried my hands and opened the exam room door. “I'll go let Dr. Mathews know you're ready.”

“At least I like Dr. Mathews being back,” she mumbled.

I hurried out of the room and then leaned against the closed door. It took me a moment to regain my composure. Fifteen years since high school and yet that girl was exactly the same. Beautiful but mean. Some people never changed.

I shook my head and headed over to my small office to finish charting her information. It struck me as odd that I had an office as a nurse, but this was a small doctor's office in a small town. I'd been here for about a month, so I had things the way I wanted them. Most days it was just me, the doctor, and Donna the receptionist in the office. It was a big difference from the downtown Chicago hospital I used to work at.

“Hannah, you have a patient waiting for you in Room Three.” Donna, the front secretary popped her head into my office. She had a wide smile on her face and even though it was Monday morning, she was still as cheery as always.

“Thanks, Donna,” I said, quickly finishing up my charting on Abigail. “I'll be there in just a second.”

Donna disappeared and I got up from my desk. When I stepped out into the hallway, I nearly ran over Doctor Matthews coming out of Abigail's exam room.

“Oops, sorry,” I said, taking a step back to let him pass.

He pushed his dark hair off of his forehead and his light blue eyes lit up with a smile. He was also returning alum from Riversville High School, but I liked him a lot more than Abigail.

“Good morning, Hannah,” he said, with a warm smile. “Have a good weekend?”

Just the sound of his voice made me tingle inside and my heart flip flopped behind my rib cage. I'd had a crush on him all through high school, and despite no longer being a teenager, I still didn't know how to keep my wits around him. Yet another thing that hadn't changed in the past fifteen years. This was something I was very okay with staying the same, though.

“Yeah, it was nice,” I said. “I didn't do too much. Just worked on unpacking. I had no idea how much junk I had. You?”

He chuckled. “Not much. It was a quiet weekend. I was on call and didn't have to come in once.”

“I guess that's the perk of a small town. It's quiet,” I said with a smile. I wished I had something more clever to say, but I was just glad I was speaking in full sentences around him.

“Looks like we've got a busy week ahead.” Dr. Matthews lifted up his clipboard. “We're booked solid all day today and most of the rest of the week.”

“That sounds great. You know me, I love staying busy.” I found myself fidgeting as I spoke. Even though I'd known him since high school and we'd even graduated together, I was still infatuated by those blue eyes of his. They were hypnotic.

“You have a good morning,” he said as he stepped toward his office at the end of the hall. He flashed me one last smile that had my insides heating and knees melting. “We'll catch up later.”

I nodded and then began making my way toward Room Three. The smile was still on my face from the brief interaction with my schoolyard crush as I slid the door open and stepped inside.

There, seated on the exam table, was the young Emily Markins. She was ten years my junior and I'd babysat her before going away for college. She had already been happily married since graduating high school and now had a baby on the way.

It was strange to see her like that, with a large baby bump and glowing. I felt so old. I'd babysat her while I was in high school, and here she was pregnant. On purpose. I was proud of her, but in a way a little bit jealous, too.

“Hey, Emily,” I said, shaking her hand. “It's been a while. How are things down at the hardware store?”

She shrugged and flipped her hair over her shoulder. “Same old thing. Just working at my dad's store. How's being back in town?”

“It's good,” I replied. “My parents are happy I'm back.”

She smiled. “I can't believe you're really back, but I'm glad you're here. It's nice to have more medical people in town. Especially with the baby on the way.”

Then she gently patted her round belly. A soft smile came over her face.

“Your chart says you're at thirty-five weeks, so we're going to start doing weekly exams,” I told her. “You ready to see me every week?”

“Definitely. I'm getting good at peeing in the cup,” she replied dryly. “Maybe with a little more practice, I'll actually be able to get most of it in there.”

I chuckled and began my work. Emily patiently answered questions as we worked through her exam. She looked like a typical pregnancy and everything was progressing as planned. She smiled wide when I pulled out the handheld Doppler from the drawer and we checked the baby's heart rate. The sound of the baby's heartbeat filled the room as we listened in on him. He was a strong little guy.

“Everything looks good,” I said, jotting down a few notes onto her chart. “Your blood pressure is normal and so is your heart rate. The little guy is right on target. Dr. Mathews will be pleased. Do you have any questions for me before I go and get the doctor?”

“Am I ready for this?” Her smile trembled. “I mean, I have the nursery set up and diapers ready, but... what if I screw him up? What if I'm a terrible mother?”

I reached over and squeezed her hand. “The fact that you're worried means you won't be. And know that we all screw up. It's part of being human, but as long as you love this little guy and always try to do your best, then you'll be a great mom. I've known you since you were little and I can tell you that you're going to be fantastic.”

“Thanks, Hannah.” Her smile steadied a little and she took a deep breath. “How many kids do you have? You're really good at this.”

I paused before speaking. Apparently, this was the question of the day for me.

“I actually don't have any kids,” I said.

Her eyes widened in surprise. “Oh really? I would have thought you'd have at least two by now!”

I forced the outside of my lips into a smile. “Yeah, well, I guess I haven't met that special someone yet. Until I do, no kids for me.”

Emily seemed confused and saddened by the fact that I hadn't made any children yet. I suppose her reaction wasn't too surprising, though. Emily's life path was the norm for people in our small town. Everyone met their sweetheart in high school, got married and were pregnant by their early twenties. I was most definitely the odd one in town and the older I got, the more apparent that fact became.

I was already well over thirty-years-old and still hadn't met a man that I deemed worthy enough for marriage. Sure, I'd dated a bit, and even gotten close a couple of times, but it never felt right. Sometimes I felt like I was just too late to the game.

The thought of never meeting the right man or being able to have kids made me cringe, but I was a realist. I knew it was a definitely possibility that I'd grow old and have nothing and nobody to keep me company, except maybe a cat or two. I constantly worried that the ship had sailed for me and I would end up stuck on the shore, by myself, with no children to raise.

“Thanks again, Hannah,” Emily said, bringing my attention to her once again.

“You're very welcome,” I said. “It's good to see you again. I'll have to stop by the hardware store one of these days and say hello.”

“I'd like that very much,” she replied.

I left the room and closed the door behind me. Coming back home, I had expected some people to ask me questions about my life. It was only natural. Not many girls left our town, and even fewer left because they dreamed of something more. Hardly anyone came back without a good reason. I was different than what people in this town expected.

Still, the fact that every patient so far today had reminded me that I was not married and childless was enough to drive me crazy. I could only hope that the longer I was here, the less people would ask me. They would hear through the grapevine that Frank and Marla's daughter was a spinster. There would be rumors that I was gay or that I had some sad disease.

As long as the questions stopped, I would be okay with that. I'd come home for a reason and it wasn't for the town to ask me why I didn't have kids yet. I only planned on being here for a year or two. Then I'd go back to the city and my regular life.

I sat down at my desk and finished charting my notes on Emily, but my thoughts were everywhere else. They focused mostly on my dad and how he would never get to see a grandchild.

He was the reason I was back in Riversville. He was sick. Lung cancer. We'd already tried everything without success. The doctors gave him a year, and he wanted to spend it where he had spent the rest of his life. I'd moved home to be closer to him as long as I could, and to provide care once things got bad. No one in town knew how bad it was yet, and my dad wanted to keep it that way, so I was just telling everyone I was home because I wanted to be.

In reality, I was home to help my father die.

“You okay?” Dr. Mathews asked, suddenly standing in my doorway.

I startled and realized I must have looked about ready to cry.

“Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking,” I replied, doing my best to smile and look like everything was normal.

“Must have been some dark thoughts,” he said. He leaned nonchalantly against the door frame, all lean lines and strong edges.

I shrugged, not wanting to bring him into my depressing world. “What can I do for you?”

“Just wanted to quickly check in with you about Emily,” he said, stepping into my office.

He looked so damn handsome in his gray slacks and white button-down shirt. It made him look so professional and put together and sexy. I tried not to stare blatantly at him, but it was a battle I was loosing. Those light blue eyes of his could have made me melt in the middle of a snow storm. They always drew me in and for some reason that I couldn't explain, they always felt safe.

“She looks great. Everything with her and the baby looks normal,” I replied. I rattled off the numbers I'd put in the chart.

Dr. Matthews nodded as he listened. “Okay, great. I'll let you get on with your day. Just wanted to touch base before I saw Emily.”

“Sure thing,” I said, with a soft chuckle. “It's no problem.”

He cocked his head to the side. “You sure everything's okay, Hannah?”

“Yeah, of course.” I managed a real smile this time. It was easy when he was around.

“It just seems like you've got something on your mind,” he said, crossing his arms and waiting for me to bare all my secrets. I was half tempted. I wanted to bare things to him.

I shrugged. “It's still early. Maybe I need more coffee.”

“Coffee can never hurt,” he said with a smile.

“Yeah, you're right about that.” I reached for my cup and took a sip. It was lukewarm but still better than nothing. My coffee could hold my secrets for now.

“Okay.” He flashed me a quick smile and walked away. I'd be lying if I said I didn't watch him for a little longer than someone should realistically watch their boss.

I sighed and focused my attention back to my computer. I had work to do and me sitting there moping about things wasn't going to get it done. Moping wouldn't fix things, but working would at least accomplish something.

“Hannah, room two is here,” Donna called to me.

Time to get back to work.