Chapter Nineteen

I didn’t slam the door when I walked out. I wanted to. I really wanted to. But I didn’t. Because I knew if I did, he’d only hear the echo of my pain. And he didn’t deserve that. Not after what I just saw.

Jillian and Alyssa.

His lips on hers.

My heart hadn’t stopped racing. Every beat echoed in my ears like gunfire, sharp and painful. My hands were trembling, and no matter how many times I wiped my palms down my dress, I couldn’t get them to stop.

I walked aimlessly down the hallway, unsure of where I was going. The mansion felt like a maze tonight, and all I wanted was to escape. Not the house. Him. The way he looked at her. The way he didn’t even hesitate.

How dare he?

“Christy!”

I flinched, his voice cutting through the silence like a whip. I didn’t turn around.

“Christy, wait!”

“No,” I said without facing him. “Don’t. Just… don’t.”

He caught up with me anyway, grabbing my arm and spinning me around. His grip wasn’t tight, but it was firm enough to make sure I couldn’t walk away again. His eyes searched mine, but I refused to look into them.

“What you saw—”

“I saw enough.” I yanked my arm free. “You kissed her, Jillian. You didn’t even push her away.”

“She kissed me.”

“You kissed her back!” I snapped. “And you didn’t stop until you heard me. That wasn’t a mistake. That was a choice.”

His jaw clenched. He looked torn, almost like he wanted to scream.

“I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

“But it did!” I shouted. “You think that makes it any easier?”

He exhaled slowly and rubbed his hands over his face. “Christy, I’ve been under pressure. The wedding, the tension with my father, the threats—”

“Don’t use me as your excuse to run back to her,” I whispered.

That shut him up. For a second, all he did was stare. Then he stepped forward, closing the space between us. I backed away instinctively.

“I didn’t run back to her,” he said. “I made a mistake, yes. But you—you’ve been pushing me away too.”

“Because I was scared!” I finally looked him in the eye. “Because you confuse the hell out of me! One minute you kiss me like I’m the only thing that matters, and the next, you’re cold, distant, and cruel. You make me feel like I’m losing my mind!”

He looked pained, like he didn’t want to hear that.

“You’re not,” he said quietly.

“But I am, Jillian,” I whispered. “Because I’m falling for you. And I hate it.”

His breath hitched. For once, he had no words.

I turned away, but he caught my wrist again—gentler this time.

“I’m falling too, Christy,” he said. “That’s why this is so messed up.”

I froze.

“I never wanted to feel anything for you. This marriage… it was supposed to be a contract. A means to an end. But now… I can’t stop thinking about you. Even when I try. Even when Alyssa’s in front of me, I can’t stop thinking about you.”

I looked back at him, and this time, his eyes weren’t cold. They were raw. Human.

“Then why kiss her?” I asked, voice cracking. “Why hurt me like that?”

He didn’t answer right away. “Because I’m scared too. Alyssa… she’s familiar. Predictable. She knows how this world works. But you?” He stepped closer. “You make me want something more. Something that feels dangerous in a different way. And I don’t know what to do with that.”

I didn’t know what to say.

So, I didn’t say anything.

We stood in silence for what felt like hours.

Then, softly, Jillian reached up and cupped my cheek. I should’ve pulled away. I really should have. But I didn’t.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “For all of it.”

Tears welled up in my eyes.

“I don’t know how to do this,” I admitted, voice barely audible. “I don’t know how to be in your world. I don’t know how to trust you when you break me like this.”

“I’ll teach you,” he said, pulling me into his arms. “I’ll prove it to you. That it’s you I want.”

We stayed like that for a moment, the heat of his body grounding me, the chaos still buzzing in my chest.

“Just… promise me something,” I said.

“Anything.”

“If she tries that again… if she tries anything again… don’t let her get close enough to hurt me. Not emotionally. Not physically.”

He pulled back and nodded. “You have my word.”

I wanted to believe him. I really did.

But Alyssa wasn’t done with us. Not even close.

The next morning was cold, grey, and far too early. I barely slept, and judging by the circles under Jillian’s eyes, neither did he.

We sat opposite each other at the breakfast table, the tension between us thick but quieter. Not hostile. Just… heavy.

“Joseph wants to move the wedding up by a week,” Jillian said between sips of coffee.

I blinked. “What?”

“He thinks it’ll send a message. Solidify our alliance before any threats have a chance to surface.”

“Doesn’t he care that we’re clearly not ready?”

Jillian gave a half-hearted smile. “He never cared about our readiness. Only the symbolism.”

My fork clinked against the plate. I wasn’t hungry anymore.

“Will you be okay?” he asked.

“I’ll survive,” I said. “That’s what I’ve been doing, right?”

His jaw tightened, but he said nothing more.

We both knew surviving wasn’t the same as living.

That afternoon, I walked into the grand ballroom where the wedding coordinator and her staff were already working. Flowers were everywhere, and someone was arguing about seating charts.

“Ms. Rhee, over here!” the planner waved me over. “We need your approval on the final color palette. Did you want more ivory or cream tones for the table runners?”

I blinked at her. “Isn’t ivory and cream practically the same thing?”

She gasped as if I’d just blasphemed.

I smiled weakly and let her drone on.

Jillian joined halfway through, dressed in a black button-down and slacks, sleeves rolled up, looking too effortlessly gorgeous for someone I was still mad at.

“Looks like chaos,” he muttered under his breath.

“Feels like it too,” I replied.

We exchanged a small, hesitant smile.

It was better than silence.

Later that night, as I was walking back from the ballroom, I overheard a conversation in the hallway that stopped me cold.

“You’re not giving up, are you?”

Alyssa.

I peeked around the corner. She was talking to someone on the phone.

“She’s weak,” she said. “She’s soft. He’ll never fully love her the way he loved me. I’ll remind him of that.”

She paused, listening.

“Yes. Of course I have a plan. And this time… she won’t be so lucky.”

I backed away slowly, heart thudding.

She was going to try something. Again.

I needed to tell Jillian. But as I turned around, Alyssa stepped out from behind the corner.

“Going somewhere, Christy?”

I swallowed hard. “Stay away from him.”

She smiled, lips curling like a snake. “He came to me, sweetheart. Remember that.”

Then she brushed past me, her perfume sickly sweet and suffocating.

I stood there, breathing hard, knowing in my gut that the war hadn’t even started.

And I wasn’t sure if I’d survive the battlefield.