Prologue

Saint’s pov

         The shadows obscured my presence and made it impossible for anyone to be able to tell that I was plastered against this spot of the wall, well… except they were looking extra close. Aiden clearly wasn’t doing that, because he was too busy sucking on his girlfriend’s face.

I felt anger hotly lurch within my chest as I watched the two of them, and I had to tighten my grip on my phone lest I do something stupid like marching over to the two of them to wrench them apart.

I might have witness this particular scene countless times, but it doesn't make it hurt less. It doesn’t make the feeling of jealousy within me to leasen. Instead, it made it triple and grow more heated.

About thirty minutes ago, Aiden and I had just argued, over what? I couldn’t remember. Aiden and I argue a lot and I never remember the reason for those arguments, which was because I never took those arguments seriously.

Aiden hated me with so much passion and it was easier to just play along and act like I also hated him, but that’s starting to get extremely exhausting.

I didn’t hate Aiden. I never hated him.

If anything, I was in love with him. I’ve been in love with him for years, which is funny and sad at the same time because apart from Aiden hating me with everything in him, he’s also straight.

I used to believe I’d never fall in love. After all that I had witnessed and experienced first hand throughout my entire life, I never imagined that I’d fall in love. And to fall in love with a straight man? That’s the lowest of low. 

My friends said I was pathetic. They never approved of this one sided feeling and they kept hoping this love I had for Aiden would wear off soon. I kept hoping that would happen as well… but it’s been years and instead of those feelings wearing off, they just keep growing more and more with each passing day, because Aiden grows more good looking as the day wears on. 

Aiden and his girlfriend finally broke out of the kiss after what felt like forever and I rolled my eyes, distaste sitting heavily across my tongue. 

Aiden stoked his girlfriend’s face and she giggled as she snuggled into his chest. I wanted to break those hands of hers that she was currently running over his sides. She doesn’t deserve him, none of his girlfriends has ever deserved him. Aiden is unreal and he deserves to be worshiped and utterly adored. These women he dates are the last people he should be letting have access into his life.

The only one deserving of him, is myself and no one else. If he’d give me a chance, I’d happily show him how it feels to be loved and worshipped like he deserves. 

But he hates my guts so much. 

The harsh words from our argument that took place about thirty minutes exhoed within my head in that.

“I hate you so much and I wish I could kill you!”

I was very certain he meant those cruel words and that made me feel a little queasy.

The sound of Aiden’s girlfriend giggling pulled me back to the present and a sneer was across my lips as I watched her say something to him before they exchanged a tight hug. 

I rolled my eyes and scoffed, wondering why Aiden was so blind to what’s right in front of him. 

Just like his past girlfriends that I helped him get rid off by anonymously presenting them with proof of them cheating or using him for their selfish desires. Sometimes, I get them to leave him by seducing them till they fall into bed with me. I don’t go all the way with them, just enough to create a really incriminating situation before threatening to call Aiden to come over right now. I was gay as hell. Been gay since I was a kid, so I never had to bother about unexpectedly falling for those women I seduce every now and then.

I rolled my eyes in irritation and disgust, wanting to snap the girl’s throat. It was clear she doesn’t genuinely care about him. I knew she was cheating on him from my reliable sources and I was already planning on taking care of her like I did his past girlfriends. I don’t hurt any of them, I just lure them away from him because they’re like bees to honey and can’t ever resist money. That’s all I sometimes need to throw in their faces and the rest is always history.

I blame Aiden for falling for these girls’ stupid charms. He was too nice for his own good, which was ironic as hell because he’s a secret agent just like me. Too polite, too kind, too perfect for any of them– which is why most people always try to take advantage of him. 

But he had nothing to worry about since I was always looking out for him.

I wasn’t sure of how long I’d be able to keep doing this because it was killing me on the inside. It sucks, always watching the person you love kiss another person.

My friends believed I was being very pathetic and should stop caring about Aiden, but if only it were that easy.

Aiden and his girlfriend finally got into his car and that’s when he finally glanced around the area. For a moment, I thought he’d see me. But he didn’t.

He drove off after that.

I remained in the same position long after he and his girlfriend left, feeling numb to the core. My heart ached and felt extremely empty and I rubbed it with my palm as I finally pushed away from the wall and headed for my own sleek Audi.

I didn’t head home straight. I went straight to the club because I needed to forget that scene that was still replaying behind my mind as fast as possible.

Even as I danced through sweaty bodies after throwing multiple glasses of drinks back, the hollow feeling in my chest didn’t change, nor did I begin to feel a little better. 

Instead, I felt extremely worse, because a part of me was fixated on the fact that if the world was perfect, then Aiden would be my boyfriend and he’d have left in that car tonight with me, instead of his annoyingly fake girlfriend.