When I woke up everything had changed.
All I could do was scream, hunched over in the seat of the transport van.The bottom half of my once pristinely pressed white dress was now soaked in rust colored blood. My blood.With every bump the van hit, my fresh stitches pulled apart causing a mangled cry from my throat.They had taken my body from me, my future.I could no longer ever have children, they cut those possibilities out of me.I don't know how long I sat in the back of the cold moving van, but it was long enough from my sobs to come to a slow.It felt like my mind was screaming at the top of its lungs, deafening me.I wasn't sure who was driving, or where I was going.I was just so scared.My whole body shook uncontrollably, I rubbed my arms in an attempt to soothe myself but it didn't help. The Selector couldn't have assigned this right? This was all just a sick joke on me. My hopes and dreams couldn't end here, not like this.The van came to a screeching halt throwing my body back against the side from the impact. I let out a small whimper at the pull of the stitches.The pain was so excruciating, nothing I had ever felt before. This doesn't happen on the west.Before I could continue my thoughts the van door slammed open, there stood two men.A rozzer and a man dressed in a cheap Jean jacket with fitted sweats. His bald head shined in the vans break lights, he wore dark sunglasses even now at night.They seemed to be deep in discussion, arguing about something."Eh, your too late Henry. Maybe next delivery." The bald man said crossing his arms across his chest."But I made it here as soon as I could! You said I could have a dance-"Jean jacket guy cut him off waving his hand dismissively in the Rozzers face."Doesn't matter, and look at her! She's a mess. I don't have time to get her fixed up before closing time, it's not gonna happen."I was a mess, My legs were covered in dried and fresh blood, darkened with dirt from the van. I could feel my hair sticking to my face from my tears, my makeup was definitely gone.The rozzer sighed and then began climbing into the van towards me.Reactively I backed up into the corner and put my hands in front of me, palms open."No I-" I started."Shut up bitch." He grabbed both of my arms and yanked hard, sending me straight out of the van.I landed hard on my knees on my pavement causing me to cry out."Hey now! Keep your hands off my merchandise!" He screamed at the rozzer, pointing a finger directly to his chest.The rozzer flipped up one of his fingers and then stalked away towards the drivers side of the gray van."Cmon stand up." He said as the van raced away.Very slowly I climbed to my feet, each flexing muscle tugging on my wound.Then I was able to take in my surroundings. I was in a dark, dank alley. With a big filthy dumpster to my left, a half dressed man sat in front of it smoking tobacco. But he seemed like I wasn't paying attention, or maybe he was just drunk.On either side were darkly painted brick buildings, the walls littered in different names spray painted on them.I felt dirty all over.Was this really the east? Could people actually live here, like this?"Im Luis, the head manager here." He said tucking his hands into his pockets."W- where am I?"Luis gave a big smile, "Welcome to the Dollhouse! We cater to the seedy underbelly of this fantastic division!" His sarcasm was thick at the endI just looked at him, confused.He came close and held his arm over my shoulders so tightly I couldn't run even if I tried. I could smell the alcohol and cheap cologne so intensely I had to hold my breath.He seemed like the type of man who had a few screws loose, the type you'd never want to make angry."Now, I don't have the time to do a big tour right this second so I'm going to hand you off to Fox. She'll take great care of you."Before I could respond he kicked open the door closest to us and pulled me in to the Dollhouse.Sporadically placed ceiling spotlights gave off a purple hue, dimming the whole room. I squinted my eyes to see around me.There was a long wooden bar where men sat being served drinks, opposite to it were a set of small stages, similar to the one in the Selectors room. Except these had shiny floor to ceiling poles.The music was so loud I would've held my hands over my ears if Luis wasn't holding my shoulders down. The sound was nothing like the soft orchestras back home, this was overwhelming and too fast.There was an array of chairs positioned in front of the stages, most filled with men.In the corner was a round table where more men sat, playing cards.The smell of tobacco and liquor was so thick it made me wrinkle my nose.What was this place? This certainly didn't feel safe at all. I pictured what my mothers reaction would be, she would jump and scream.And why was their only men here?Luis snapped his fingers and gave out a loud call, "FOX!"Almost immediately a women sprinted out of door that looked hidden from sight. Her waist length, silky, reddish-orange hair hung loosely around her body, I could tell she was taller than me by a few inches before she even got to me. She was older, maybe mid thirties?Her long legs were strapped into big heels under a skin tight green dress. At least I think it's a dress? If they made dresses that short and low cut.Her stride was confident like she owned the entire room. A few men turned their head to watch her as she approached. She was beautiful, but in a different way. A way I had never seen before. "That bullshit doctor fucked us again. I don't even think he cauterized the wound this time." Luis spoke in a frustrated tone.Fox looked me up and down, lingering on the blood spot of my dress."Good thing I can get blood out of anything. But I don't think she's safe to work for at least a week or two." She said.He frowned at that, "That's not an option. We'll have to figure something out.""Maybe you could offer a bed night to one of the Selectors friends to make up for it?" She questioned.Why were they speaking about me like I wasn't right here?Luis nodded. "Get her cleaned up, oh and tell Candie she needs to go on."Candie? Go on? My head was bursting with questions. So many things I had never heard or seen before. I felt like I was living in a big confused haze.He gave me a slight pat on the back before running off toward the gambling table.Fox gave me a sympathetic smile and gently took my hand, "Alright sugar let's get you comfortable."We walked through the crowd of men, only to pause for Fox to whisper something into a pink haired girls ear at the bar.She pulled me into a small room. Inside, were a set of uncomfortable looking wooden bunk beds. A long stretched mirror sat on the wall in front of a collection of vanity tables, each with their own chair. Different makeup and nicknacks cluttered it, pictures and drawings filled up the space on the walls. People had been living here for a long time.Fox leaned on a the bunk bed with her arms crossed, she gave me a small smile"Welcome home."Fox held me upright as she poured cold tap water over me from a bucket, she listened to every scream of pain as the water made contact with the gash on my abdomen. She never said a word, her face remained expressionless throughout my torture. The torment was almost enough for me to forget that I was standing naked in front of a complete stranger. Something that was entirely unfamiliar to me. Except for this morning with Irina. My heart panged at her memory, but I couldn't let her face linger in my mind. It hurt too much. Finally we seemed to be finished, Fox tossed the bucket into the corner of the cement block "shower area." Which was just a small square without a curtain, a rusty spout with a drain.My teeth shuddered together from the cold, it felt like the building had no insulation at all. Fox was assembling a stack of clothes, presumably for me from a disheveled box labeled "newbies." She brought the pile to me, on top a large mens T-shirt that read out "EASTERN FISHING CO
I woke up in the morning to shrieking voices and loud clattering, I barely had a second to sit up and rub my eyes before I had someone crushing themselves into me with one of the tightest hugs I've ever had. "Oh my god! You are so pretty!" A high pitched voice squeaked in my ear. I pulled back from the embrace to see a girl half on top of me, the other half of her on the other side of my bed. I stared back into big brown eyes, pink glitter smeared over both monolids. Her platinum bleached hair lay flat on her head cascading just past her shoulders, she had the biggest excited smile I had ever seen.A voice called from the bunk above, "Ah Candie shut up I'm trying to sleep." I guess Vixen still wasn't happy about the bed switch. Last night she stared me down before crawling up the shaky wooden ladder above me. Between the aches in my abdomen and the fear of the entire bed collapsing on me I didn't sleep well. Candie rolled her eyes. "Ignore her she's not nice to anyone, not even
I sat accross from a man I once knew, but no longer recognized. He looked like Warren, but I knew that wasn't his name anymore. His face was hardened now, new scars I wasn't privy too. His boyish features had turned cold. It brought a knot to my stomach. My mother reached under the banquet table for my hand, she rubbed her thumb reassuringly over my knuckles. I hadn't realized I had clenched my fingers together, I loosened them immediately. "Thank you for joining us here today." The man who looked like Warren said.My mother beamed under her embroidered sun hat, "Of course, Anything for our son." Father gave a half smile. His wrinkles etched into a unreadable expression. Then we fell into silence. Everyone looked pointedly at meIt was my turn for pleasantries, but all my words seemed to be trapped in my throat. How can we all sit here acting like nothing has changed? As if my brother was the same boy who left four years ago? I could still remember the day when I tripped down th
Warm suds ran down my body and into the bath water, leaving trails of lavender scent in their place.Holding my breath I dunked my head into the water of my claw foot tub. My hair becoming a tornado around my face. I couldn't hear or see anything, it calmed my racing heart. And for a second I pondered if I could stay under forever. But when I came back up for air a smiling face stood above me, peering down. "IRINA!" I sputtered, swallowing water from my shock. She covered her mouth and giggled, "It looked like you were having trouble Liza." I wrung my hair out and I stepped out hurriedly, slamming my feet on the cold marble floor. I draped a towel around my body before turning to look at her. My one and true friend, Irina Hobbins. Our fathers worked together and we were neighbors, I suppose our mothers would have been friends too if that were permitted. She stood in my bathroom in her afternoon dress, jewelry adorned all around her face. Ribbons and bows throughout her honey b
I slid into the white limousine sitting in front of my house. I struggled with how to place my legs with my short dress. How do northerners wear these?The coachman closed the door behind me with a thud that jump starts my heart. Now I was truly stuck inside this car. I looked around me. The seats were padded leather and upholstered with diamonds. I ran my fingers along the empty spot next to me. How many people have sat here before me? On this very same trip? The vehicles engine started with a faint roar. A white, expensive beast here to carry me away. I snapped my head to the tinted window that faced my home.There my mother stood on the garden stone path, clutching a porcelain doll from my childhood. I couldn't see her face, but I could only assume her cheeks were wet with tears. My poor mother, alone in that gigantic house. Father had never come to say goodbye but I expected as much. And now she would live the rest of her years alone. At least emotionally. The car moved forwa
So. Many. Questions. It felt like I was sitting for hours scribbling answers. I had to stand up multiple times just to get feeling back in my legs and to crack my back. Are you allergic to latex? No Next.List your sleeping habits. Average sleeping?I sighed, some of these didn't even make sense. It made me feel incredibly dumb. I had studied at a westian private school for years I should be able to handle a stupid test. Except it wasn't a stupid test, this was determining my life. Eventually I reached the last question, What is your knowledge of the south? That made me pause. The south was desolate, an old history lesson from school long ago. They disobeyed our selector and became obsolete. Our Rozzers had crushed them. The greatest example of our powerful nation. I wrote out a quick summary, ready to get this over with. I stacked my papers back into place and walked towards the small metal slot. I could hear the camera move to follow me, there really had been someone the
I woke up in the morning to shrieking voices and loud clattering, I barely had a second to sit up and rub my eyes before I had someone crushing themselves into me with one of the tightest hugs I've ever had. "Oh my god! You are so pretty!" A high pitched voice squeaked in my ear. I pulled back from the embrace to see a girl half on top of me, the other half of her on the other side of my bed. I stared back into big brown eyes, pink glitter smeared over both monolids. Her platinum bleached hair lay flat on her head cascading just past her shoulders, she had the biggest excited smile I had ever seen.A voice called from the bunk above, "Ah Candie shut up I'm trying to sleep." I guess Vixen still wasn't happy about the bed switch. Last night she stared me down before crawling up the shaky wooden ladder above me. Between the aches in my abdomen and the fear of the entire bed collapsing on me I didn't sleep well. Candie rolled her eyes. "Ignore her she's not nice to anyone, not even
Fox held me upright as she poured cold tap water over me from a bucket, she listened to every scream of pain as the water made contact with the gash on my abdomen. She never said a word, her face remained expressionless throughout my torture. The torment was almost enough for me to forget that I was standing naked in front of a complete stranger. Something that was entirely unfamiliar to me. Except for this morning with Irina. My heart panged at her memory, but I couldn't let her face linger in my mind. It hurt too much. Finally we seemed to be finished, Fox tossed the bucket into the corner of the cement block "shower area." Which was just a small square without a curtain, a rusty spout with a drain.My teeth shuddered together from the cold, it felt like the building had no insulation at all. Fox was assembling a stack of clothes, presumably for me from a disheveled box labeled "newbies." She brought the pile to me, on top a large mens T-shirt that read out "EASTERN FISHING CO
When I woke up everything had changed. All I could do was scream, hunched over in the seat of the transport van. The bottom half of my once pristinely pressed white dress was now soaked in rust colored blood. My blood. With every bump the van hit, my fresh stitches pulled apart causing a mangled cry from my throat. They had taken my body from me, my future. I could no longer ever have children, they cut those possibilities out of me. I don't know how long I sat in the back of the cold moving van, but it was long enough from my sobs to come to a slow. It felt like my mind was screaming at the top of its lungs, deafening me. I wasn't sure who was driving, or where I was going. I was just so scared. My whole body shook uncontrollably, I rubbed my arms in an attempt to soothe myself but it didn't help. The Selector couldn't have assigned this right? This was all just a sick joke on me. My hopes and dreams couldn't end here, not like this. The van came to a screeching halt th
So. Many. Questions. It felt like I was sitting for hours scribbling answers. I had to stand up multiple times just to get feeling back in my legs and to crack my back. Are you allergic to latex? No Next.List your sleeping habits. Average sleeping?I sighed, some of these didn't even make sense. It made me feel incredibly dumb. I had studied at a westian private school for years I should be able to handle a stupid test. Except it wasn't a stupid test, this was determining my life. Eventually I reached the last question, What is your knowledge of the south? That made me pause. The south was desolate, an old history lesson from school long ago. They disobeyed our selector and became obsolete. Our Rozzers had crushed them. The greatest example of our powerful nation. I wrote out a quick summary, ready to get this over with. I stacked my papers back into place and walked towards the small metal slot. I could hear the camera move to follow me, there really had been someone the
I slid into the white limousine sitting in front of my house. I struggled with how to place my legs with my short dress. How do northerners wear these?The coachman closed the door behind me with a thud that jump starts my heart. Now I was truly stuck inside this car. I looked around me. The seats were padded leather and upholstered with diamonds. I ran my fingers along the empty spot next to me. How many people have sat here before me? On this very same trip? The vehicles engine started with a faint roar. A white, expensive beast here to carry me away. I snapped my head to the tinted window that faced my home.There my mother stood on the garden stone path, clutching a porcelain doll from my childhood. I couldn't see her face, but I could only assume her cheeks were wet with tears. My poor mother, alone in that gigantic house. Father had never come to say goodbye but I expected as much. And now she would live the rest of her years alone. At least emotionally. The car moved forwa
Warm suds ran down my body and into the bath water, leaving trails of lavender scent in their place.Holding my breath I dunked my head into the water of my claw foot tub. My hair becoming a tornado around my face. I couldn't hear or see anything, it calmed my racing heart. And for a second I pondered if I could stay under forever. But when I came back up for air a smiling face stood above me, peering down. "IRINA!" I sputtered, swallowing water from my shock. She covered her mouth and giggled, "It looked like you were having trouble Liza." I wrung my hair out and I stepped out hurriedly, slamming my feet on the cold marble floor. I draped a towel around my body before turning to look at her. My one and true friend, Irina Hobbins. Our fathers worked together and we were neighbors, I suppose our mothers would have been friends too if that were permitted. She stood in my bathroom in her afternoon dress, jewelry adorned all around her face. Ribbons and bows throughout her honey b
I sat accross from a man I once knew, but no longer recognized. He looked like Warren, but I knew that wasn't his name anymore. His face was hardened now, new scars I wasn't privy too. His boyish features had turned cold. It brought a knot to my stomach. My mother reached under the banquet table for my hand, she rubbed her thumb reassuringly over my knuckles. I hadn't realized I had clenched my fingers together, I loosened them immediately. "Thank you for joining us here today." The man who looked like Warren said.My mother beamed under her embroidered sun hat, "Of course, Anything for our son." Father gave a half smile. His wrinkles etched into a unreadable expression. Then we fell into silence. Everyone looked pointedly at meIt was my turn for pleasantries, but all my words seemed to be trapped in my throat. How can we all sit here acting like nothing has changed? As if my brother was the same boy who left four years ago? I could still remember the day when I tripped down th