I really want to curse myself and bash my head to the wall! After those words he said that day, my mind was completely baffled!
I just don't know what to do anymore. If shutting those shivering feelings effective or just worsen the circumstances! I feel that his words has magic and keeps enchanting me day by day!I hate this! It feels like my old vulnerable self is resurrecting!My confusion intensified when I've got to see him play. It was two days after the confrontation between us. I tried hard to not look at him on the game but every time I turned to his direction, I always met his intense eyes and lips which eventually crept into a smirk.Palaging iyon ang laging ganap kapag pinipinilit ako nina Jangkit na manood ng laro nila. Well, I couldn't deny the fact that I'm impress with his skill in basketball. He's in good team with good schemes, no wonder the gap between their team to others are understandable."Dali na, Slaine. KailanganThat basketball match is the last time I've encounter with Rafus. May came, which is his birth month, I became very busy in processing my papers for college registration and entrance examination that I couldn't get to greet him a happy birthday on his day.I couldn't believe I'm all alone now. I still can't accept it. Umalis na ng Antique ang mga kaibigan ko kamakailan para asikasuhin ang mga papel at para kumuha ng entrance exam sa unibersidad na papasukan nila.It sucks to say good bye but I have to accept it. In order to grow, I have to depend no one but myself. I will either succeed or try another chance to prove myself.I've come to decide to stay here in WeSaS, it's convenient. Bakit pa ako lalayo kung maayos at advantageous namang mag-aral dito? I admit that it isn't easy to adjust in my first year. Nasanay ako na kasama ko ang barkada kaya medyo nakakapanibago. My college life is peaceful, I gain some new friends but it's incomparable with my six b
I spent my vacant time in secluded and quiet place at the back of our campus. There's a tree here and an old stone bench. I settled myself and place my bag beside me."What now?" I asked to myself while staring from away.Reflecting on what just happened yesterday, it only causes my heart to feel a heavy burden. I guess I'll just get concern for Shey in a low-key way."Mind if I sit here beside you?"Napanganga ako at hindi agad nakabawi. Sinamantala niya ang pagkakataon na iyon para makaupo sa tabi ko. He glanced at me and a small smile made its way on his lips."Rafus..." I barely uttered his name, my eyes were pinned on his. "What are you doing here? Don't you have class?"He remained looking at me and I almost jolted when his finger trailed my hair that covers my face and putted it behind my ear."I was just walking around then I saw you here. I don't have class right now, maybe after one or two hours I'll have one."
What Helen said shocked my whole sanity. I didn't get to sleep well last night because of anxiousness that she might do something to herself.Basing her voice and her words, I feel like she's depressed and frustrated. Knowing her parents, they aren't likely to tolerate what had happened to their precious daughter. Only me and Crezst knew about this and I couldn't imagine what will happen once her parents finds out that she's pregnant.Kung malapit lang siguro ako sa kaniya ay pwede ko agad siyang daluhan at aluin, pero ilang kilometro ang layo ko at hindi naman ako basta bastang makaalis dahil may mga responsibilidad ako sa paaralan, sa trabaho, at sa bahay."I've been calling you several times last night, who did you talked to?" Natauhan ako nang maamoy ang pamilyar na pabango na minsang ko nang nakaadikan. Napaangat ako ng tingin at ang iritado na Rafus ang nakasalubong ko."What's with that reaction? And why do you care if I'm talking to someone over the phone?" I raised my voice
He's wearing a plain gray shirt and his hands were both on the pocket of his black jeans. Hair's a little push back and he's languidly walking towards our direction with a smirk plastered on his face. He freakishly looks like a model in a runway show."Hey..." With his low tone voice.I blinked twice and even Helen seems to be starstrucked by him. The moment I regained my consciousness, I surveyed Rojas."Hi," I greeted back. "What can we help you?""Actually... I'm here to fetch you." He licked his lips then glanced at Helen for a moment. My jaw drop and he take advantage of my shock to swiftly get the bag from me. "I'll take this now, hmm.""Teka..." Pigil ko sa kaniya pero nakapagpaalam na siya kay Helen at nagsimula nang maglakad papunta sa sasakyan niya.Akma kong susundan si Rojas pero agad akong hinawakan ni Helen sa braso para pigilan ako. May malisya akong tinignan ni Helen at dumako din ang tingin niya kay Rojas."Kayo?" Seryosong tanong niya.Napangiti ako at umiling. "Hind
We waited for almost fifteen minutes before our turn. He lowered the driver's window. The staff greeted us merrily then handed Rafus the menu."What do you want?" Bumaling siya sa akin."Basta ako ang magbabayad?"Hindi siya sumagot sa akin at ibinalik ang tingin sa menu saka dumukwang papalapit sa bintana para sabihin ang order."That much?" I gasped yet he just looked at me with that usual expression, calm.Pasimple kong tinignan ang pera sa wallet ko. Kinuha ko mula roon ang limang daan at nang iabot ko sa kaniya ay namilog ang mata ko dahil nakaabot na siya ng dalawang libo sa staff."Keep it," he simply said."But-"Pinutol siya ako sa pamamagitan ng pag-abot sa akin ng isang bucket ng fried chicken. Wala akong nagawa kundi ang kunin iyon sa kaniya at tumahimik."Just keep your money for you future expenses. You don't have to spend when you're with me, don't worry I won't charge you with anything." He sensibly said right after we received all the foods he ordered.Kinuha niya ang
"Why are you avoiding us?! We're making an effort to give you comfort Helen! Nanggaling pa kami sa malayo tapos magiging ganito ka lang sa amin?!" Crezst shouted at her and Helen was taking all of it quietly."Crezst..." Pigil ko sa kaniya at umiling para matigil siya.Crezst heave a sigh then slowly loosen her hold on Helen's arm. "Good thing, I've cutted my nails yesterday!""Kamusta ka na?" I turned to ask Helen.Tamad na napaupo si Crezst habang ako naman ay nasa likuran niya. Helen is in front near her center table. She looks like being interrogated by her evil aunts."She's obviously not okay, Slaine. Look at her state," she uttered then turned to Helen with piercing eyes. "What now? What are your plans?"Napayuko siya at nang makalipas ang ilang segundo ay narinig ko ang paghikbi niya. "I w-want to abort the baby..." She mumbled.My body went rigid and almost go deaf after hearing those words from her. I was immobile for a moment until I heard the sound of a hand landed on one
I plan to spend my weekend in Iloilo with Helen and Crezst. Yesterday we explored places excluding nightclubs using Helen's car. The next day we stray over malls, restaurants, and amusement parks.Actually I wanted to oppose with the thought that Helen will shoulder our expenses because she said that she's the reason why we're here. Even Crezst dislikes the thought. We came here wholeheartedly to comfort and ease her feelings, without expecting for return."Helen, hindi ka namin sugar mommy! Kaya naming magbayad para sa sarili namin!" Singhal na sabi ni Crezst.We're in Vikings Luxury Buffet at SM City Iloilo Southpoint right now. Helen's been insisting to pay for the food. I shook my head heaved a sigh because of the determination in her eyes."Sige na! Pagbigyan niyo na ako, bukas narin naman ang alis niyo. Just treat this as farewell treat!""Maka-farewell treat ka akala mo naman hindi na tayo magkikita-kita pagkatapos nito!" Natatawa kong sabi."Fine! Treat us whatever you want, y
"Slaine..." Rafus' voice echoed and firmly held my arm."What?" I turn to meet his eyes. They were intense, dark, and piercing my soul to oblivion."Siya lang ang matino sa aming magpipinsan, Slaine. I doubt you don't have feelings towards my cousin, I've been in serious relationship so I could determine that you're affected by that conversation." Rojas seriously uttered."I am not," I smiled at them and I could feel Rafus attempted to reach for my hand again beneath the table but I veered my hand before he could touch it. "I think it's better to drop this conversation. Don't worry, I won't change the way how I treat Rafus.""Slaine," Rafus barely whisper near my left ear. "Let's talk this later."I stared at him in a while before forcing myself to nod and smile. "Sure."The table went silent until we get to finish eating our lunch. Naunang lumabas sina Rojas at kami naman ni Rafus ay nagpaiwan ng ilang sandali."I'm sor
"Baby..." I heard Rafus spoke and I felt his presence in the bathroom.I stayed silent and acted oblivious. I don't want to talk with him at the moment because I know it'll end with screaming and fighting."Let's talk, I'll explain everything to you." His voice is cooing, and I just found him behind my back. His clothes are already soaking wet but he didn't left not until I faced him."Later... let's do that later." I said almost a whisper."No," he shook his head. The wet shirt is tracing his built. "We have to settle this now. I don't think I can last another second knowing something's off between us."My lips remain in thin line. I'm staring at him because I'm waiting for the words that will come out his mouth."That night when you finally gave me and our relationship another chance, kagagaling ko lang no'n mula sa dinner kasama ang pamilya ko at pamilya ni Aurora." He sighed and held my waist. His eyes were pleading and fille
"Be with me," Rafus whisper to my ears.The sunlight's already spreading everywhere, yet we're still here lying on my bed, both naked beneath my comforter.I hummed then buried my face more on his chest. "Where to?"He tightens the hug before kissing the top of my head. "Palawan. I brought a vacation house from Sienna, and I wanted to visit it with you."Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kaniya. I don't think I can get used to his handsomeness that will welcome me when I wake up in the morning. "Kailan ba ang plano mong bumisita roon?""Two days from now. Is that alright with you? We'll just fix what we needed to be fixed in the corporation, then I'll ask Rojas or Amadeus to look after the business for a while."I gasped audibly and blinked twice. "You're still friends with Amadeus?""Baby, what are you talking about? Of course, I'm still friends with Amadeus." Natawa si Rafus at inangat ang pang-itaas na katawan para kubabawan
I groaned when my clock alarmed loudly. I covered my face with the blanket, hoping that my sleepiness would visit me again, but failed.Marahan kong iminulat ang mata ko at ngayon ko lang natanto na walang sinag na tumatama sa mga mata ko dahil natatakpan ng kurtina ang sliding glass door na nakakonekta sa balkonahe.Natutop ko ang labi nang maalalang sa sofa ako kagabi, papaanong nandito na ako ngayon sa kwarto? I scanned myself, and I also found out that I'm wearing comfortable cotton oversize shirt, not my office clothes.I shook my head. Damn he's doing this again! Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko. It's beating wildly as if something triggers my system to feel those feelings again.I climbed off my bed then help my way towards the bathroom and fixed myself ready for work. Hindi na ako nag-abalang magluto ng agahan dahil dadaan nalang ako sa café mamaya."Good morning."My heart leaped. Kalalabas ko lang ng apartment ay siya agad an
I fixed the belt on my trouser and left the two buttons of my long sleeve top open. I wore tube beneath, so I won't get to receive any lewd stares from anyone.Napakurap-kurap ako nang lumuhod si Rafus at siya mismo ang nagpasuot ng ankle strap sandals sa akin. I felt the gentleness as he held my feet and carefully assuring that the strap was perfectly locked."Rafus, don't treat me like this please..." I said almost begging.I don't want him to treat me like I'm valuable. Damn, I don't want to get hurt by the same person again! Nawasak ako dati at ayokong mawasak ulit. His gestures and the way he treat me brings the feelings I used to feel for him."Let's clearly draw the line. I don't have any hang ups with you, and yes, we had sex. I think that's normal for us, don't try putting another meaning of what happened last night when it's clearly lust and sexual desire."His expression became stoic and later, he laughed at himself. "Damn, bab
We're both silent the whole ride. I refuse to utter a word because I'm trying hard to control myself after remembering all the memories we had here, and Rafus' perfume never change over the years.Damn, even if I don't admit it, I know to myself that I still have hangs up for him.I don't know where Rafus is taking me. Nagdrive thru lang kami ng pagkain tapos tumulak uli kami. I looked at my wristwatch, it's nearing five thirty already."Seriously speaking, where are you taking me Rafus?""You'll see, we're almost there, just hang on for few minutes."I sighed and shut my mouth. He won't tell me, period. Why did I kept on trying since earlier then? Rafus' unbending, what's new about it?After an hour of driving, finally the car stopped. I didn't wait for Rafus' cue and help myself got out of the car."What are we doing here?" I seriously asked him with my arms crossed over my chest.Kalalabas niya lang ng kotse
"Come in," he announces and after a moment, a guy enter his office."Mr. Cattaneo, I'm here to inform you that the partition and curve table is already here. We'll just going to install it here in your office."Rafus nodded, "Okay, and do finish it as fast as you can."Naalerto ako nang hawakan ni Rafus ang kamay ko at pinagsiklop iyon. Nakita ko rin ang pagsulyap ng employee sa kamay naming dalawa kaya ginapang ako ng kaba at nagpupumilit na kumalas."Do inform me if you're done," Rafus formally said to the guy and swiftly picked my handbag on the floor.Lumabas kami ng opsina at doon ako nagkaroon ng lakas loob para lagyan ng puwersa ang pagwaksi ko sa kamay kong hawak niya."It's working hours," I said, not taking my eyes off him. "I believe you do know how to separate personal relationship with work, Mr. Cattaneo."He flashes that smirk, making me feel annoyed. "Well that principle works depending where my woman
I blink couple of times before slowly opening my eyes to adjust to the light that passes through the slightly open curtain.I groaned as I felt pain in my head like it's been hammered multiple times. I travelled my eyes to the whole room and fear starting creeping in my system.This is not my room!I touched my body and that's when I finally felt at ease. Thank God I'm still fully-clothed.I spend few moments of ransacking my head to find answer why I'm here in someone's room, but I only remember that I'm with Ma'am Claireen in the club last night!Before I could finally recognize the familiar scent that fills in the whole room, the door push open and a man step in, making my jaw drop in shock and confusion."Oh, you're awake now..." He calmly said and I got distracted by the sweats dripping from his forehead.I cleared my throat, "Where am I? And why I am here with you?"Mariin siyang napatingin sa akin at doon
"What are you doing here?" My brows furrow and my blood starts to boil. He didn't answer, he just remain there, standing while looking calm and collected.I took a deep breath and almost rolled my eyes on him. Kinuha ko ang grocery bags na nakalapag at binuksan ang pinto ng apartment ko saka bastang pumasok pero bago ko pa iyon maisara, pinigilan iyon ng malakas na kamay."Ano ba'ng problema mo?" Pinigilan ko ang sarili na huwag siyang pagtaasan ng boses.Titig na titig siya mga mata ko at hindi ko magawang umiwas. I can see exhaustion, pain, and longing in his eyes. In a snap, he invited himself in. He took the grocery bags from my hold and shamelessly walked towards my kitchen."Seriously, Rafus? What are you trying to do? Why are you doing this?" I followed him to my kitchen and took the grocery bag to place it on my countertop.I was taken a back when he wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his head between my neck and shoulder
I paid the driver a yellow bill and didn't wait for my change. Lumabas ako ng sasakyan dala-dala ang dalawang duffel bag. Hindi naman siguro ako mukhang haggard mula sa flight dahil malaki ang tiwala ko sa simpleng make-up na inilagay ko sa mukha.I'm wearing a matching plaid trouser and blazer, a black tube top, then white shoes. This is often my office attire, and I never got any complain from my fellow workmates or from Mr. Sorrento.Hindi ako pinigilan ng security guard nang basta-basta akong pumasok. Sa dalawang taon ko ba namang pagtatrabaho dito sa incorporated ay hindi nila ako nakilala."Ms. Aranza!" Gulat na bungad ng receptionist. "Naparito po kayo?"Tipid akong ngumiti, "May problema lang sa resignation ko. Uhm—pwede bang maiwan ko muna dito sa ground floor ang mga duffel bag ko?""Uh sige po," nakangiti niyang tugon at sumenyas sa security guard kaya madaling naipasok sa loob ang workplace ng receptionist ang bags ko.