I was trying to think about a believable lie I could tell Paris so that she won't suspect anything. She was my only family, I couldn't have her find out about Tawny and I! It would ruin us6and we gave come a long way for that to happen right now. 'Amora? Why doesn't Luna like the idea of you and Olivia?' I decided for half of the truth, "well... Remember the girl I told you about. The one who got me a gift before leaving?"'yeah.. The one who turned you gay. You were stoked and butt hurt.'"shes kinda friends with Olivia. So Luna thinks what I'm doing is messed up coz they are friends. I don't know. I mean she and I were never in a relationship... We just had a lot going on... And..."' is she in a relationship right now or is she single trying to get you?'" she's in a relationship and happily so." i said as I felt a million pieces of me crush. Why was I feeling this way still? God! 'then be with Olivia. I mean you never had an actual relationship with this mysterious woman, so if
"Woow.. This is beautiful and cosy." she said joining me in the living room, taking me away from my thoughts. I had so many questions in my head but no answers at all, my feelings were all over the place. "look, again I'm so sorry for budging in on you like this, I didn't plan this very well and I kinda wanted to just show up at work and all the plan didn't go well and now here I am feeling like an idiot."I stupidly turned around to look at her and I regretted it instantly. She was wearing shorts and a sports bra while searching for her shirt in her bag.For some reason I couldn't keep my eyes away. I just looked at her until she found it and put it on.She has never changed a bit. She was still fit and sexy.I bit the inside of my cheek and shook my head, "umh it's okay you know. I'm glad I'm here and can assist. If I wasn't...""I was going to sleep on the street trust me. I really am pissed at the hotel but I'll take it out on them on Monday or whenever they fix this.. So are yo
A part of me wanted Tawny to be happy, back then I wanted her to be happy with me but now that I saw that might be impossible with all the odds against us, I just wanted her happy.Having her here made me feel some type of way though, it kinda showed me how much we have separated since we parted ways. Cutting communication from each other has created this huge distance, I mean we talked but I felt like I was talking to someone I didn't know.She seemed happy on the other hand, very happy I couldn't ignore that. She texted Carrie here and there as we finished off the seventh season of Brooklyn and she would smile in between.At first I wanted to cry, at how she was freely loving someone knowing very well how I felt about her and what I had wanted.But then I noticed I was being very selfish. She was happy and I had to admit and fully let her go or make peace with it.I then remembered what Luna said about not finding love and me being the only person in her life. I smiled a bit and tho
*I did something very stupid... I allowed Tawny to bring her girlfriend over to my place coz they have trouble with their hotel. I don't know what I was thinking. Having her here alone pains me, now imagine her having her girlfriend. I don't know how I feel and I have no one to text right now, I can't even tell Liv because I don't want to hurt her feelings for feeling like this while we are trying something. I wish I could call you or just talk to you without any judgements, but I am scared you'll call me all the names in the book and leave me even more confused.*I contemplated for a good 20 minutes before finally sending that to Thalia, at least she was less judgy than Luna to Me.The waiting was killing me as she typed. I got up and went to get water in the kitchen. Tawny was out and she said she'll be back with them. I had no idea who them was but this told me that Carrie wasn't alone. I was just hoping it wasn't another couple.I looked around nervously, God what was she like? Pr
Are they in the kitchen right now? She probably takes her to that restaurant I always wanted to go to that she said we would one day go when we were officially in a relationship. Do they hold hands? Oh God yes they do that a lot I bet they are doing it right at this moment? I bet they’re kissing even more now. Maybe they are also having sex right this very second, on the kitchen counter? On the couch? Maybe on the floor?. They are probably using toys because Tawny loves them…In my mind, I stupidly played out scenes from our life together. Except now my role was being played by someone who might be sexier, more fun, and more interesting. I saw my Ex — the happy, sweet, amazing, funny, caring, fun one I first fell in love with — sharing the best parts of themselves with someone else who wasn't me.I hated my mind for taking me to that dark place.It was worse coz it was at night when there were no distractions whatsoever. The joy and passion I envisioned for them were suddenly made all
After the incident that happened between Tawny and Olivia, of which they probably didn't know I heard, they planned that we should all have lunch together and just have fun or whatever.I was a bit hesitant not knowing what the plan was but Olivia begged me and told me Tawny wantd to thank me for letting her stay at my place.So I put in my jeans and shirt then sneakers. Literally had zero interest but was doing it coz Liv asked me nicely."you look beautiful..." Liv said and I looked around only to see her looking at me. I furrowed my brows at her and was about to say what he fuck when Carrie chipped in, "she's telling the truth. You do look beautiful Mimi.."Why on earth did she call me that?80I smiled though and remembered what Luna was going to say, smile and say..."thank you guys...""and Amora I'm sorry for being a bit inappropriate you know. That's your place and we should have respected you and not just walk around naked and all that." Carrie continued.On the all that part I
"you know I can never get over coming back to this tiny flat to you... It just makes everything better no matter how shitty it was at work."She took my jacket and kissed my cheek, "Are you trying to tell me to actually move in with you? Coz if you're not, that was Hella smooth."I laughed, "stop being a cute idiot and take a compliment.""so I didn't cook.. I was thinking we should go out today, with me leaving and all.""do I can't trick you into staying longer?""oh princess trust me you have all the power to do that. But it will kill me."I smiled at her revealing that, "mhmm... I was looking forward to eating your nice homemade meal. But we can go out then."She shook her head a bit and gave me a box. I gave her a questioning look, "what's this?""open in and see.." she said and I opened to be met by black beautiful shorts and a white shirt and white heels.I furrowed my brows at her, "shoes? Are you sending me away?"She laughed, "to me. I'm sending you to me. Please change so w
Calls were happening everyday and I had no idea how we managed that with her crazy schedule and me with the work intensifying. But we did it.Tawny finally arrived at work and we were excited when my group won the advertisement slot on TV with the little project that we worked on. They said it was amazing that we didn't separate them but used our creativity to combine the perfume and the sneaker.. That was what made them pick it.I was so happy."guess I should never trust your girlfriend's face then because she looked like she hated that while she was loving it" I said and Thalia laughed, "I know right. She's horribly amazing."I rolled my eyes at her and she waved me off, "go to your desk dude. You have someone waiting for you there..."I lifted my head up and my eyes met with Tawny sitting on my desk.I swallowed a bit before walking to her, "hey..."She smiled, "look at you showing everyone what you're made off."I put my bag on the table and pulled my chair to sit, "it was a grou
After the talk I had with Luna I knew I needed to do a deeper introspection on myself so that I could move forward fully like I had been advised.You know life was really hard to get. It's not like I had never been through something like this before. I have lost a loved one before. My parents, but then I guess it was different somehow because I knew with them I couldn't replace them even with any person that wanted to take the parent role in my life, somehow they could never be what my parents were, they could never give birth to me... But when it came to a partner. It was so scary. Letting go of Olivia meant opening up to someone else and being that vulnerable again. It meant forgetting what she and I shared and living with this other human being. The thought of that scared me and it also made me feel uneasy. Liv meant the world to me, and moving on fully felt like saying goodbye forever.But Luna was telling the truth. I needed to admit that she was no more so I could live my life.
After the letter my life seemed to have hit a whole full stop. Everything stopped and I started to question it all.What on earth was going on. And what was the conversation between Tawny and Olivia the day before her death.I couldn't believe that two years down the line I was still asking myself the same question. I literally asked her this before she passed away and she just couldn't tell me.. Then now this surfaces two years later.. Well, maybe if I had read the letter earlier it was going to appear then, but still I wasn't ready to read the letter back then."so what are you thinking?""I don't know... Lots of people now want to be associated with me because business is booming. Could we meet the three artists and see if they are really worth it so I can decide if I really want another gallery or just a whole new idea coz it just hit me..""as much as I love the business you and how much you're so concentrating on that.. I actually wasn't talking about that. I meant the thoughts
Today we would be dating for 3 full years.. It was one and a half year since she passed away.. But it was our anniversary. I stupidly got the reminder from my calender and now I was in my apartment looking for something I didn't know. I felt like I was going to lose my mind had I not found it... whatever it was."hey... Amora." Tawny said behind me and I quickly turned to her, "what are you doing here?" I snapped and she looked at me confused, "you texted me. It didn't make sense so I came here to make sure that you were okay."I turned around, "I'm looking for something okay.. Just... Just please.." I left my sentence short and went to my kitchen and opened and closed every drawer."Mimi..." Tawny said and I turned around to her and yelled, "don't... You don't fucking get to call me that. Not after everything you have put me through. You don't get to call me by a pat name."She looked ate so confused... And then I saw her face soften. She shook her head a bit and walked towards me.W
Helping Luh plan for her wedding felt like I was doing it for me. She wanted things I felt I'd have wanted and I was enjoying every moment of it.So when I finally saw the end product, I could not be happier at that moment. I felt so proud of myself and where I've become. I looked around the room, I couldn’t believe that I was the best woman or should I say maid of honor for my best friend’s wedding, especially after everything that had went down in the past two years and us splitting up a little bit. I never thought that I would experience this at all. But I felt so blessed to be here. Her husband looked so out of place in a black taxedo that had a little split on the back instead of the fireman’s suit that he was accustomed to wearing everyday at work. He looked way more cute by the way. My mind took me down the memory lane when I saw my best friend. I had met her many years ago when she joined the same primary school as I, and now I was given the honor of being her maid of hono
I was really shocked when the following day arrived and my name wasn't being smeared on the internet about the incident that happened at Kiddies with Tawny. But then again I guess what she said really got to those people and they didn't post about it. And since the talk in the car, my relationship with Tawny was still okay, she was still herself which was what I loved but she respected me and my decision not to cross any boundaries.In two days though, she was going to be out of rehab and she was going to be back in the real world. That kinda made me happy, she has made such a big progress."hey dude... Have you called my make up artist?" that was Luna freaking out again and I sighed, "just because you ask 4 times it won't change.. Yes I did.. Now stop worrying. You're getting married in 3 days."She smiled, "oh my God what if this is the biggest mistake of my life. We've only known each other for a little less than two years. I can't be very sure about him right now. I can't marry t
I got out of the dress and folded it then put it on the chair before wearing my clothes. I was starting to get mad. I felt like I was betraying Olivia. So whatever happened made me feel guilty. Like how could she not think, I just lost Olivia a few months ago. Now she wanted to step in. I wanted to support her and make sure she was okay or at least let her know that she had a friend in me. But she wasn't paying attention to that, she thought more could come out of this. "Amora look, I'm sorry." Tawny said joining me, she was now fully dressed back to her clothes...and I ignored her and finished up what I was doing."Amora please talk to me.""and say what?"She's shrugged, "I don't know... Anything.""I have nothing to say.""well I do. I'm not sorry for attempting to kiss you coz I didn't do that by mistake... But I'm just sorry I made you uncomfortable."I shook my head, she had no idea how she made me feel. Uncomfortable wasn't even close to describing it."Amora...""you made me
Moving back to my place wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. It just had so many memories I was terrified of revisiting.I hated it so much but I knew I had to do it. I couldn't live at Paris's place forever.. And I couldn't sell this place either, a lot of good things happened here. So I wasn't going to allow the same memories that made me happy to push me to get rid of my place.I'd literally feel her presence or feel like she'd walk in. Being back there made her death so real. A knock on the door would have me expecting her. The calls we used to have on her night shift. How I'd wake up with food or with her cuddling me. All that made me come to terms with the fact that she wasn't here anymore. She was gone. I sighed and shifted the matras in my bedroom. Like I said, I needed to clean this place. Luna was downstairs helping me. After full two hours I was done in my bedroom and it felt like it was all new. Maybe it was the new bedsheets, curtains and blankets I bought. I smile
"do you know where Tawny is? I mean she said she'll be at my wedding but she disappeared. No one knows where she is." Luna asked walking in with a bag full of groceries. I quickly got up and ran to her to help, "couldn't you just tell me you had plastic bags so I can get you... Is it everything?" "it's fine I asked you a question. Do you know where she is?"I didn't know why she was pressing on this."why would I know?"She shrugged, "I don't know. I just don't want her to not come to my wedding after promising she will. The Media is busy eating her up and making up stories about her going crazy since the outburst at your opening."I sighed, this was what I hated about the media. The ability to make one and also break them. It was just too much. "yeah I hate the media dude. Stop listening to it. Tawny will come to your wedding. What did you want her to do?""I don't know..." she said with another shrug, "maybe her to learn my steps so that she can dance.. By the way you and her are
When Tawny was ready, like I promised, I took her to rehab and dropped her off. "thank you for doing this." she said. I gave her a small smile and decided to joke a little, "it's not a big deal. I just wanted to make sure you really come here you know."She smiled a bit and just looked at me. She looked as if there was something she wanted to say but couldn't. She then shook her head and that's when I knew that she definitely stopped herself from saying what she wanted to say. So I asked," what? "She continued to shake her head no, "umh. Naah, Amora you've already done enough. I can't burden you with me and all my shit.""hey... Besides me joking about bringing you here so I could know you are really here.. I came because I wanted and I wanted you to know that you have support. So I am here, talk to me about anything. It's not a burden at all." She nodded her head a little bit before saying," so... Incase anything happens to me. I want you to know that... "My eyes shot wide open