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Chapter 85
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2021-09-03 07:45:10I moved to lay down again knowing that we should hold back and leaned my head over his shoulders feeling the cool breeze. The sound of the ocean was relaxing to hear that it felt like I could fall asleep when I suddenly felt water splashing on my face and I sat up wiping it off.
“Wake up,” Luis said as he was standing by me, drenched.
“You're getting water everywhere,” I said reaching for a towel.
“Sorry,” he said as he went to sit by the fire and Jennifer came back to grab a drink. “It’s actually great weather to be out here today.”
“Hey, with summer coming up, we should try and do this more often or come over to my place since I have a pool,” Fernando said running his hands over his wet hair as he grabs a towel.
“We brought things to make sandwiches. I can make some for you guys if you're hungry.” I offered.
“I want some!” I hear Alex yell as she walk
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He tried to grab my arm again so I moved away almost slipping from the wet floor and I just felt his hand shove my shoulders back against the wall forcefully. I gasped; either in shock or maybe my anxiety finally caught up to me that I believed it hurt. He grabbed my arm again trying to hold me while all I could do was push him as my panic started to grow more becoming harder to control and I’ve forgotten how strong he can be. I’m beginning to struggle to keep my anxiety under control and trying to focus on my surroundings while figuring out what to do next. I reached out to put my hands over his face scratching his face so it caused him to take a step back and this gave me a chance to run around him, but he pulled me back by grabbing my shirt. We both fell to the ground after slipping on the wet sandy floor after our quick action and he moved to be on top of me.“Stop,” I said fitfully.I was starting to have a hard time breathing as he kept pr
Last Updated : 2021-09-03Don't Touch Chapter 87
I didn’t want to sleep alone tonight and I still felt shaky after everything that happened that my anxiety hasn’t settled down. It should have calmed down by now, but I still felt on edge like something else was going to happen and I couldn’t let my guard down. We started making our way to the parking lot, heading back home, and my mom made sure to check on my forehead. There wasn’t much that she could do for the small swelling of it besides cleaning it, add some ointment on the cut, and cover it with a bandaid. Elliot didn’t arrive at my house until another hour later and we went to my room to lay down after my mom checked on him as well. My mom had me take my pill before letting me go to my room and I hoped that it would help me so I could sleep comfortably. I took my time in the restroom after getting home and I just wanted to wash everything away. I don't know if I wanted to wash the dirt off me or the feeling when Chris touched my body that left me this feeling that I w
Last Updated : 2021-09-10Don't Touch Chapter 88
I rubbed my forehead lightly, still feeling the bruise when I touched it, and sighed figuring out how to explain. “That was someone in middle school,” I said and I can see them waiting for more information. “We used to date and he slowly became violent." I paused taking a deep breath, planning to tell them the truth so I should let it all out. "I'll be completely honest here, aside from dealing with haphephobia, I have depression and anxiety that sometimes it can be hard to deal with. Because of the relationship I had with him and dealing with everything in my past, I tried to commit suicide.” I said as I looked down hoping that they could understand. “When I saw Chris yesterday I was scared that he would hurt you guys which were why I left with him and one thing led to another…” Everyone fell silent, I felt Elliot wrap his arms around my shoulder trying to comfort me for speaking up and I wondered what everyone was thinking. “I'm sorry that happened,
Last Updated : 2021-09-19Don't Touch Chapter 89
I smiled for a second before looking at him again, “What about you?”“Yeah?”“Have you ever looked at anyone while dating me? Guy or girl?” I asked, curiously. “And be serious. I won’t get mad.”Elliot didn’t answer right away until he shook his head, “I never really looked at other people in any way like I do with you. I was curious about it at first too and I did check out other guys after you confessed to me, but I didn’t really feel anything. Is that weird?”I shook my head. “No, I think it’s okay to just love whoever you are interested in and it’s okay if you're not attractive to other guys while still interested in girls. I’m not going to judge.”“I was curious about it at first, but at this moment I'm comfortable saying that I’m bisexual.” He said. “I know my parents are still adjusting to it, but I think now th
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Something within us changes afterward after that day or maybe it was me. How can the things we talked about made life easier to breathe? I was already taking slow breaths when I came to this school, taking a step when I met Elliot and they kept going higher as I made friends and being able to do more then I have ever done before. But now it felt like I was running. In my mind, I was beginning to panic because I thought I was running away from a monster that I couldn’t escape from but within the time I was able to finally lose it and found a new path that I wanted to explore. This new path that I didn’t know where it was going, what will be at the end of it, who I will meet? All sorts of wonder that slowly it wasn’t so frightening anymore. It was never easy yet, as Elliot said, I’ll be fine.Dr. Brown told me that it was okay to be anxious because I have people that I care about, which is true, but I don’t think I’ve ever told her that I als
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I took a deep breath as I rested my head against his shoulders as I just followed his footsteps and listened to the music trying to feel everything while forgetting about everything so I can focus on us. As I’m listening to the music, I can only feel the warmth of Elliot’s arms around me and kept my eyes closed as I imagined us dancing in a grand ballroom like in Cinderella. I smiled at my imagination as I pulled away once the music ended. Elliot didn’t let go of me and I looked at him immediately seeing his expression. I laughed at his hesitation as I wrapped my arms around him again and leaned forwards giving him a kiss that he was waiting for. Was this how prom will be like for me next year? Elliot didn’t mind that I didn’t want to dance again and the only time he pulled me to dance again was when they played the last song for the night. I was enjoying the time I had with him until all this is over; until summer starts and everything will change. I leaned my head against
Last Updated : 2021-10-11Don't Touch Special Bonus Chapter
I was leaning against Elliot while we were sitting on my bed and I’ve spent the last ten minutes looking at the black gown that I bought at school earlier today. I’m trying to let the thoughts sink in that I will finally be graduating high school within a few days and will be starting college in a few months. Elliot has his arm wrapped around my shoulder as he’s watching me and it seems like he’s trying to read my expression. He’s been home since last week after finishing exams and has been visiting me at my home after school. Elliot put a hand over mine to pull me away from my thoughts and softly kissed the side of my cheeks. I closed my eyes as I remind myself to take a deep breath and lean against his warmth.“Are you okay? Can you tell me what you're thinking?” He asked me.“I’m going to graduate,” I tell him like I’m stating a fact that is unheard of.“You are,” He agreed.I let out a heavy sigh and shifted to face him. “I’m going to graduate,” I repeated.Elliot looked back at hi
Last Updated : 2021-10-19Don't Touch Special Bonus Chapter
New YearIt was the end of December, the end of the year, and I was waiting for Elliot outside for a couple of minutes. I had on a jacket and a scar and I was still cold standing outside feeling a bit bothered that Elliot wanted to go to the beach to see the fireworks show for the new years countdown. I got in the car right away when he pulled up and sighed feeling it warm inside.“Cold?” He asked.“Yes. I can’t stand this winter cold.” I tell him.“Well, the heater is on so warm up before we go back outside.” He said as he started driving.“You know it’s colder out there? It’s dark, we’re going to be by the ocean, and it’ll be pack.” I tell him or whining.He smiled, “I have a blanket. It’ll be fine.” He replied back.I shivered a bit as I looked outside. “So how was Christmas?” I asked him.
Last Updated : 2021-11-06
Latest chapter
Don't Touch Chapter 18 [4-4]
We spent some time holding onto each other until it started to feel cold now that the sun was going down and the wind got a little stronger. I put on my shoes and then helped Elliot clean the blanket before making our way to the car. Elliot was asking what I would be interested in eating, maybe trying to help me be in the mood to have something filling, but I wasn’t too sure how much I could intake. I agreed with something as simple as pizza and we took it home, where my mom was waiting for us. There was this awkward silence around the table; I felt like Elliot wanted to talk with my mom and report about our day, always privately counseling her. I was barely able to finish two slices before putting my plate in the sink and I gave them their time as I excused myself to change my clothes. I washed my feet since it was dirty from stepping on the wet sand and when I came back to my room, Elliot was lying down on my bed. I didn't say anything as I grabbed a new pair of socks and moved to
Don't Touch Chapter 18 [3-4]
“Michael?” Elliot asked, wanting me to reply to his statement.“I’m listening,” I whispered, turning to look at him and thinking more about his words.“I don’t want you to be upset with yourself or to have any guilty conscience. It was just… I’m trying to inform you that this is also substance abuse or could even lead to it and you’ve used both alcohol and drugs in the past. This is aside from the fact that your friends pressured you to drink, if they continue with this, then you will blindly harm yourself in the long run. I’m actually surprised that you didn’t have that thought and it’s concerning.” Elliot tells me and it felt me speechless.I looked up at the sky and noticed the sun was beginning to set. “Can we not talk about this anymore?” I asked him.“I’m only telling you from the way I view it and I care about you. I don’t know how much you’ve explained to Doctor Brown about the situation, but with your reaction, it seemed like this is something that you haven’t made yourself a
Don't Touch Chapter 18 [2-4]
We both didn’t say anything as Elliot kept his focus on the road and I kept my eyes out the window seeing the view change. I always enjoy seeing the beach view and maybe being out would be a nice breather like he suggested. It took a bit of time for Elliot to find parking and we made our way over to an area that was less crowded. Now that we’re near summer, it was a nice day to be at the beach and it wasn’t so hot that I had to take off my sweater. As always, Elliot took out a blanket from the trunk of his car like he’s always prepared and we laid it out after we found a nice spot away from the pier. It felt like we were the only people on the beach, giving me this secure feeling.“Are you sure that you’re not hungry?” Elliot asked after noticing the time. “I’ll eat after we are done here,” I said while looking over the ocean view and seeing the water shining from the sunlight.“But you like to stay here for hours,” Elliot retorts and tilts his head to look at me closer.I shrugged m
Don't Touch Chapter 18 [1-4]
I sat up suddenly and felt my hands shaking, knowing I’d woken up from another nightmare. Why was this one real compared to the other one I had? Why did I remember something from the past that I was able to forget? No, I’m going to forget about it again like it never happened. I don’t want more memories from the past to resurface and affect me like before. It took me a moment to remember that I was in my bedroom and I reached a hand out to the spot beside me. I didn’t feel Elliot's hand and looked over to see his side of the bed empty. I tried to stay calm as I looked around my room trying to figure out if he had left while I was sleeping, but that wouldn’t be something that Elliot would do. “Elliot?” I called out in a small voice. Did he go home? No, he said that he was going to stay for a while and wasn’t going to leave without telling me. I tried not to feel overwhelmed as I pulled the covers off and checked the restroom, hoping he was in there. I stepped out to the hallway, hear
Don't Touch Chapter 17 [3-3]
For a second, I wondered if we shouldn’t be holding each other like this, but does this mean that he still cares for me, or is he only being kind? If we had been like this before I fell asleep, I might not have had that dream. The thought about the dream had me shivering as I recall Chris’s face and I moved a bit away from Elliot, but he still had me in his arms. He must have noticed my discomfort and I felt his hands patting my back, trying to comfort me. I’m starting to feel a bit of pain in the pit of my stomach and I know it’s all the stress from having the panic attacks to the night terror. “I’m tired,” I mumbled as I closed my eyes, feeling exhausted again. “You’re going to be tired the whole day if you don’t rest,” Elliot replied. “I know… I’m already getting a stomach ache,” I said, then sighed, feeling a little pain. “And I was feeling that earlier at my dad’s house.” “Do you need some medicine?” He asked me. “I think so,” I said, sitting up. “Stay here. I’ll get it for
Don't Touch Chapter 17 [2-3]
I closed my eyes, trying to get comfortable, and it felt easier to fall asleep with Elliot beside me. At least I know he is here supportively and he chose to stay the night because he wanted to; not just to watch over me out of spite. Even if he was here to comfort me and nothing more, I’m thankful he let me lean on him, even if it’s only for tonight. I opened my eyes, wanting a little peek, and he looked like he was already sound asleep; maybe he was already tired before coming to pick me up. There was something I wanted to ask him about our relationship, but I was also afraid to hear the answer, or I was only hoping for an answer that I wanted to hear. I turned over, away from him, and closed my eyes, knowing I was only trying to distract myself from sleeping. For a while, I could hear the soft breathing coming from Elliot, and hearing him was a nice reminder that I wasn’t alone. A sudden flashing light disturbed me and I raised a hand trying to block it; maybe I left the blinds op
Don't Touch Chapter 17 [1-3]
Chapter 17When we entered the house, I went to the kitchen and decided I needed my anxiety pill. “Do you want something to drink?” I asked him.“Water is fine,” He answered.I grabbed two bottles of water and handed them to him as we moved to sit on the couch. “You really don’t mind staying?” I asked him.Elliot took the bottle of water and had a small sip, “I don’t mind.”I moved to lean against the armrest and face him as we sat on the long couch. “Before I called you, I was in the guest room trying to relax but I was going through both panic attacks and anxiety,” I told him while looking down at the bottle of water. “All those feelings came to me that I began to doubt myself... Every time I see Chris, alarm bells go off in my head and my body yells that I need to leave. Runaway, hide, or find a way to disappear.”Elliot reached out to hold my wrist and the touch grabbed my attention, “And now your home, far away from him. Remember that he’s not going to hurt you here.”“Come on, E
Don't Touch Chapter 16 [4-4]
I looked into the living room, and I saw Ally on the ground playing with her toys while Caesar sat beside her, looking down at his phone. “When did she wake up?” I asked.He looked up and put his phone away, “About ten minutes ago… You look worse.”I moved to sit on the floor with them and Ally crawled over to me. “I called Elliot and he’s going to come by,” I told him and put Ally on my lap with her stuffed bear. “Is it okay if you wait until he gets here?”“Yeah,” He nodded as he reached into his pocket and handed me a paper. “They want you to call this number and you can tell them what happened. It’s Chris’s probation officer and they said that he will get a fine after breaking his restraining order.”I looked down at the paper, “A fine? That’s it?” I asked him.“Since he didn’t do anything, there isn’t much they can do besides that, and if he had done something, they could have him in jail for over six months,” Caesar said, leaning back to rest against the couch.“But that sounds
Don't Touch Chapter 16 [3-4]
It was quiet on the walk back to my house and Caesar laid Ally down on her crib after I showed him the way to the bedroom. I was able to calm down a bit, but my hands were still shakey and I knew that this anxious feeling wouldn’t go away. I watched as Caesar closed the door behind him and rubbed my arm nervously, taking the lead back downstairs. I led him to the kitchen to grab a cup of water and took a small sip while Caesar stood behind me, leaning against the counter. It's my fault for being careless and going out when I’ve already been warned that he’s back in town. What would have happened if I was alone or if Caesar didn’t show up at the right time?“Thanks for helping me,” I whispered.“Well, it wasn’t like he could do much without having to put himself in jail and I’m not sure how you would have been if he stayed longer.” He said and looked me over like he was being cautious with his words. “You should be careful having these panic attacks while holding your sister… It looked
