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Chapter 3 [2-4]
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2022-11-30 02:14:27Related chapters
Don't Touch Chapter 3 [3-4]
I didn’t have much to respond during the drive, and it took some time to arrive at my house with the evening traffic. Elliot has always been supportive during my progress when I had to select a college in high school, but there are times where I felt like he can’t always be there all the time anymore and everyone else has been busy as well that we haven’t had the chance to see each other. We arrived at my house and I felt myself taking a deep breath deciding to break this silence between us. “I know that this really shouldn’t bother me and I don’t have to push myself to find work, but I just don’t want to let my parents down… I don’t want to fail. I don’t want to take a break from college because that would be like I’m setting myself back and if I don’t work then my dad would think that I can’t handle being an adult.” “Michael, this is about you. Not them. I know you want to make them happy, but if this makes you upset then you are not doing what will make you happy.” Elliot said, r
Last Updated : 2022-12-03Don't Touch Chapter 4 [1-3]
On Wednesday, I received my test results and it seemed that my score still hasn't been approved as I hoped. I looked down at the card that Lucas gave me, the strange guy with the motorcycle, and I wondered if it was okay to reach out to him. It’s been a while since Luis has contacted me and I also don’t want to bother Elliot with this, but it seems like these tutoring sessions were always helpful for me. I sighed heavily as I pulled out my phone to send him a message, curious to see what he’d say, and I headed to my next class. I looked over my notes once class was over when I saw there was a new message and I checked to see that Lucas was available at the library in three hours.I wasn’t really expecting a quick response and to meet the same day as well. I haven’t seen him since he gave me his number, but maybe taking this chance can help me and even raise my grade. I sent a message to my mom letting her know that I’ll be a bit late going home and informed her about my plans. I only
Last Updated : 2022-12-10Don't Touch Chapter 4 [2-3]
I glanced at everyone before turning to Andre and asked, “Aside from Genevieve and Eliane, is everyone gay?”“I am gay and I created the group,” Andre answered. “Lucas is bisexual and helped create the support group so without him it wouldn’t be as amazing as it is now. Leo is straight, but he comes with us for free food and tries to get all sorts of people to come to the meeting. I mean, look at his body… Then there are my fabulous ladies that are members, and help interact in the meetings.”“You guys bring sandwiches and I get hungry after working out before I go to the club,” Leo shrugs his shoulders.I looked at them all and asked curiously, “What do you guys do in the club?”“Support group,” Andre retorts.“It depends. We decide on a topic for that day or any type of event we want to hold. Fundraisers to help us attend parades and show that we have a safe place for people to hang out,” Lucas explained, reaching for a notebook from his backpack and then turning to me like he had a
Last Updated : 2022-12-10Don't Touch Chapter 4 [3-3]
Half of the group were focused on their studies and the others were playing around, trying not to be so loud. Lucas continued to help me out with a few problems once he was done with his own homework and Genevieve even stepped in wanting to be involved. After almost two hours we started making our way out of the library and you can feel the cool evening air. I looked around at everyone as we all walked over to the parking garage and I wondered if they were being kind in inviting me after agreeing that I’d attend their meeting. “Michael, you can come with me in my car,” Lucas said and Andre was beside him. “The girls have their own car and so does Leo. Unless you want to ride with them?” “I don’t know about riding a motorcycle,” I confessed. “It’s fine. I bought my Jeep,” He said, stopping at his trail to wait for me to follow. “Andre is coming with us.” “My car is in the shop,” Andre informed me. “I’m without a car for the whole week and I’ll be Lucas' road-trip buddy.” Lucas gav
Last Updated : 2022-12-14Don't Touch Flashback: Graduation
I was leaning against Elliot while we were sitting on my bed and I’ve spent the last ten minutes looking at the black gown that I bought at school earlier today. I’m trying to let the thoughts sink in that I will finally be graduating high school within a few days and will be starting college in a few months. Elliot has his arm wrapped around my shoulder as he’s watching me and it seems like he’s trying to read my expression. He’s been home since last week after finishing exams and has been visiting me at my home after school. Elliot put a hand over mine to pull me away from my thoughts and softly kissed the side of my cheeks. I closed my eyes as I remind myself to take a deep breath and lean against his warmth.“Are you okay? Can you tell me what you're thinking?” He asked me.“I’m going to graduate,” I tell him like I’m stating a fact that is unheard of.“You are,” He agreed.I let out a heavy sigh and shifted to face him. “I’m going to graduate,” I repeated.Elliot looked back at h
Last Updated : 2022-12-26Don't Touch Chapter 5 [1-3]
“Do you want to talk about it?”I ran my fingers over the pillow I’m holding and looked over at Doctor Brown as she was writing in her notebook after I brought up my visit with my dad. I’ve been avoiding it and I felt bad that I promised Elliot that I would talk to her about it and I still feel embarrassed about the way I reacted. I sighed knowing that I had to talk about it and it really wasn’t something that I should be avoiding. I’ve always had a habit of holding in my emotions but it's more that I feel ashamed to react this way. I could only imagine the expression on my mother's face if she knew the things I’ve thought of over the years and the things I’ve done to myself. I couldn’t express myself so easily and maybe it’s better if I didn’t.“I was supposed to talk about what happened that week after it happened,” I informed her and took a deep breath. “I visited my dad and everything seemed fine. We talked, had dinner and I saw my sister, but my dad always finds a way to end the
Last Updated : 2023-01-02Don't Touch Chapter 5 [2-3]
Stepping out of the hospital, I started making my way towards the bus stop and reached for my phone to remove the silence mode whenever I am in session. Looking over my messages from Luis and Fernando, there was also a message from Lucas sending me information on their meeting for tomorrow, and I wondered if Elliot was still going to come with me. I passed on the reminder to Elliot and stepped inside the bus then took a seat in the back. We really did talk a lot today on various topics and I wasn’t too sure if I discussed it all. I hadn’t planned for her to change my medication, but I will admit that my mood hasn’t been good for a few months now and maybe it is the stress that I’ve been putting myself in. But if my current medication hasn’t been helping me then I have to agree that this change would be helpful for me in the future and I need to learn to not have these sorts of thoughts.After everything that I went through in high school and graduating high school, I wanted to do my b
Last Updated : 2023-01-05Don't Touch Chapter 5 [3-3]
I thought about the topics that were discussed and it felt like I might have more to say if I was comfortable speaking in front of people. They all seemed to have gone through something like I have and maybe what I went through cannot be related to some of these people in the room; if not, I don’t want to feel pitted. I never wanted anyone to pity me about my past, but maybe it won’t be so bad if I were to slowly open up to them and can have a good relationship like I have with my friends from high school. Luis and I grew closer during our senior year and as promised he was by my side when I wasn’t feeling so well. I've been so grateful for his help and company that I didn't expect from him.I rub my hands over my pants feeling anxious and within a couple of minutes the group meeting finally came to an end. Anyone who stuck around continued their conversation as they hung around the snack table while I went over to Lucas and Andre, who were cleaning up. I helped put the chairs away as
Last Updated : 2023-01-12
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Don't Touch Chapter 18 [4-4]
We spent some time holding onto each other until it started to feel cold now that the sun was going down and the wind got a little stronger. I put on my shoes and then helped Elliot clean the blanket before making our way to the car. Elliot was asking what I would be interested in eating, maybe trying to help me be in the mood to have something filling, but I wasn’t too sure how much I could intake. I agreed with something as simple as pizza and we took it home, where my mom was waiting for us. There was this awkward silence around the table; I felt like Elliot wanted to talk with my mom and report about our day, always privately counseling her. I was barely able to finish two slices before putting my plate in the sink and I gave them their time as I excused myself to change my clothes. I washed my feet since it was dirty from stepping on the wet sand and when I came back to my room, Elliot was lying down on my bed. I didn't say anything as I grabbed a new pair of socks and moved to
Don't Touch Chapter 18 [3-4]
“Michael?” Elliot asked, wanting me to reply to his statement.“I’m listening,” I whispered, turning to look at him and thinking more about his words.“I don’t want you to be upset with yourself or to have any guilty conscience. It was just… I’m trying to inform you that this is also substance abuse or could even lead to it and you’ve used both alcohol and drugs in the past. This is aside from the fact that your friends pressured you to drink, if they continue with this, then you will blindly harm yourself in the long run. I’m actually surprised that you didn’t have that thought and it’s concerning.” Elliot tells me and it felt me speechless.I looked up at the sky and noticed the sun was beginning to set. “Can we not talk about this anymore?” I asked him.“I’m only telling you from the way I view it and I care about you. I don’t know how much you’ve explained to Doctor Brown about the situation, but with your reaction, it seemed like this is something that you haven’t made yourself a
Don't Touch Chapter 18 [2-4]
We both didn’t say anything as Elliot kept his focus on the road and I kept my eyes out the window seeing the view change. I always enjoy seeing the beach view and maybe being out would be a nice breather like he suggested. It took a bit of time for Elliot to find parking and we made our way over to an area that was less crowded. Now that we’re near summer, it was a nice day to be at the beach and it wasn’t so hot that I had to take off my sweater. As always, Elliot took out a blanket from the trunk of his car like he’s always prepared and we laid it out after we found a nice spot away from the pier. It felt like we were the only people on the beach, giving me this secure feeling.“Are you sure that you’re not hungry?” Elliot asked after noticing the time. “I’ll eat after we are done here,” I said while looking over the ocean view and seeing the water shining from the sunlight.“But you like to stay here for hours,” Elliot retorts and tilts his head to look at me closer.I shrugged m
Don't Touch Chapter 18 [1-4]
I sat up suddenly and felt my hands shaking, knowing I’d woken up from another nightmare. Why was this one real compared to the other one I had? Why did I remember something from the past that I was able to forget? No, I’m going to forget about it again like it never happened. I don’t want more memories from the past to resurface and affect me like before. It took me a moment to remember that I was in my bedroom and I reached a hand out to the spot beside me. I didn’t feel Elliot's hand and looked over to see his side of the bed empty. I tried to stay calm as I looked around my room trying to figure out if he had left while I was sleeping, but that wouldn’t be something that Elliot would do. “Elliot?” I called out in a small voice. Did he go home? No, he said that he was going to stay for a while and wasn’t going to leave without telling me. I tried not to feel overwhelmed as I pulled the covers off and checked the restroom, hoping he was in there. I stepped out to the hallway, hear
Don't Touch Chapter 17 [3-3]
For a second, I wondered if we shouldn’t be holding each other like this, but does this mean that he still cares for me, or is he only being kind? If we had been like this before I fell asleep, I might not have had that dream. The thought about the dream had me shivering as I recall Chris’s face and I moved a bit away from Elliot, but he still had me in his arms. He must have noticed my discomfort and I felt his hands patting my back, trying to comfort me. I’m starting to feel a bit of pain in the pit of my stomach and I know it’s all the stress from having the panic attacks to the night terror. “I’m tired,” I mumbled as I closed my eyes, feeling exhausted again. “You’re going to be tired the whole day if you don’t rest,” Elliot replied. “I know… I’m already getting a stomach ache,” I said, then sighed, feeling a little pain. “And I was feeling that earlier at my dad’s house.” “Do you need some medicine?” He asked me. “I think so,” I said, sitting up. “Stay here. I’ll get it for
Don't Touch Chapter 17 [2-3]
I closed my eyes, trying to get comfortable, and it felt easier to fall asleep with Elliot beside me. At least I know he is here supportively and he chose to stay the night because he wanted to; not just to watch over me out of spite. Even if he was here to comfort me and nothing more, I’m thankful he let me lean on him, even if it’s only for tonight. I opened my eyes, wanting a little peek, and he looked like he was already sound asleep; maybe he was already tired before coming to pick me up. There was something I wanted to ask him about our relationship, but I was also afraid to hear the answer, or I was only hoping for an answer that I wanted to hear. I turned over, away from him, and closed my eyes, knowing I was only trying to distract myself from sleeping. For a while, I could hear the soft breathing coming from Elliot, and hearing him was a nice reminder that I wasn’t alone. A sudden flashing light disturbed me and I raised a hand trying to block it; maybe I left the blinds op
Don't Touch Chapter 17 [1-3]
Chapter 17When we entered the house, I went to the kitchen and decided I needed my anxiety pill. “Do you want something to drink?” I asked him.“Water is fine,” He answered.I grabbed two bottles of water and handed them to him as we moved to sit on the couch. “You really don’t mind staying?” I asked him.Elliot took the bottle of water and had a small sip, “I don’t mind.”I moved to lean against the armrest and face him as we sat on the long couch. “Before I called you, I was in the guest room trying to relax but I was going through both panic attacks and anxiety,” I told him while looking down at the bottle of water. “All those feelings came to me that I began to doubt myself... Every time I see Chris, alarm bells go off in my head and my body yells that I need to leave. Runaway, hide, or find a way to disappear.”Elliot reached out to hold my wrist and the touch grabbed my attention, “And now your home, far away from him. Remember that he’s not going to hurt you here.”“Come on, E
Don't Touch Chapter 16 [4-4]
I looked into the living room, and I saw Ally on the ground playing with her toys while Caesar sat beside her, looking down at his phone. “When did she wake up?” I asked.He looked up and put his phone away, “About ten minutes ago… You look worse.”I moved to sit on the floor with them and Ally crawled over to me. “I called Elliot and he’s going to come by,” I told him and put Ally on my lap with her stuffed bear. “Is it okay if you wait until he gets here?”“Yeah,” He nodded as he reached into his pocket and handed me a paper. “They want you to call this number and you can tell them what happened. It’s Chris’s probation officer and they said that he will get a fine after breaking his restraining order.”I looked down at the paper, “A fine? That’s it?” I asked him.“Since he didn’t do anything, there isn’t much they can do besides that, and if he had done something, they could have him in jail for over six months,” Caesar said, leaning back to rest against the couch.“But that sounds
Don't Touch Chapter 16 [3-4]
It was quiet on the walk back to my house and Caesar laid Ally down on her crib after I showed him the way to the bedroom. I was able to calm down a bit, but my hands were still shakey and I knew that this anxious feeling wouldn’t go away. I watched as Caesar closed the door behind him and rubbed my arm nervously, taking the lead back downstairs. I led him to the kitchen to grab a cup of water and took a small sip while Caesar stood behind me, leaning against the counter. It's my fault for being careless and going out when I’ve already been warned that he’s back in town. What would have happened if I was alone or if Caesar didn’t show up at the right time?“Thanks for helping me,” I whispered.“Well, it wasn’t like he could do much without having to put himself in jail and I’m not sure how you would have been if he stayed longer.” He said and looked me over like he was being cautious with his words. “You should be careful having these panic attacks while holding your sister… It looked
