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Chapter 4 [3-3]
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2022-12-14 18:02:17Related chapters
Don't Touch Flashback: Graduation
I was leaning against Elliot while we were sitting on my bed and I’ve spent the last ten minutes looking at the black gown that I bought at school earlier today. I’m trying to let the thoughts sink in that I will finally be graduating high school within a few days and will be starting college in a few months. Elliot has his arm wrapped around my shoulder as he’s watching me and it seems like he’s trying to read my expression. He’s been home since last week after finishing exams and has been visiting me at my home after school. Elliot put a hand over mine to pull me away from my thoughts and softly kissed the side of my cheeks. I closed my eyes as I remind myself to take a deep breath and lean against his warmth.“Are you okay? Can you tell me what you're thinking?” He asked me.“I’m going to graduate,” I tell him like I’m stating a fact that is unheard of.“You are,” He agreed.I let out a heavy sigh and shifted to face him. “I’m going to graduate,” I repeated.Elliot looked back at h
Last Updated : 2022-12-26Don't Touch Chapter 5 [1-3]
“Do you want to talk about it?”I ran my fingers over the pillow I’m holding and looked over at Doctor Brown as she was writing in her notebook after I brought up my visit with my dad. I’ve been avoiding it and I felt bad that I promised Elliot that I would talk to her about it and I still feel embarrassed about the way I reacted. I sighed knowing that I had to talk about it and it really wasn’t something that I should be avoiding. I’ve always had a habit of holding in my emotions but it's more that I feel ashamed to react this way. I could only imagine the expression on my mother's face if she knew the things I’ve thought of over the years and the things I’ve done to myself. I couldn’t express myself so easily and maybe it’s better if I didn’t.“I was supposed to talk about what happened that week after it happened,” I informed her and took a deep breath. “I visited my dad and everything seemed fine. We talked, had dinner and I saw my sister, but my dad always finds a way to end the
Last Updated : 2023-01-02Don't Touch Chapter 5 [2-3]
Stepping out of the hospital, I started making my way towards the bus stop and reached for my phone to remove the silence mode whenever I am in session. Looking over my messages from Luis and Fernando, there was also a message from Lucas sending me information on their meeting for tomorrow, and I wondered if Elliot was still going to come with me. I passed on the reminder to Elliot and stepped inside the bus then took a seat in the back. We really did talk a lot today on various topics and I wasn’t too sure if I discussed it all. I hadn’t planned for her to change my medication, but I will admit that my mood hasn’t been good for a few months now and maybe it is the stress that I’ve been putting myself in. But if my current medication hasn’t been helping me then I have to agree that this change would be helpful for me in the future and I need to learn to not have these sorts of thoughts.After everything that I went through in high school and graduating high school, I wanted to do my b
Last Updated : 2023-01-05Don't Touch Chapter 5 [3-3]
I thought about the topics that were discussed and it felt like I might have more to say if I was comfortable speaking in front of people. They all seemed to have gone through something like I have and maybe what I went through cannot be related to some of these people in the room; if not, I don’t want to feel pitted. I never wanted anyone to pity me about my past, but maybe it won’t be so bad if I were to slowly open up to them and can have a good relationship like I have with my friends from high school. Luis and I grew closer during our senior year and as promised he was by my side when I wasn’t feeling so well. I've been so grateful for his help and company that I didn't expect from him.I rub my hands over my pants feeling anxious and within a couple of minutes the group meeting finally came to an end. Anyone who stuck around continued their conversation as they hung around the snack table while I went over to Lucas and Andre, who were cleaning up. I helped put the chairs away as
Last Updated : 2023-01-12Don't Touch Chapter 6 [1-2]
I sat in the living room watching television until I finally received a text, and I started making my way outside seeing Elliot’s car parked in the driveway. I was excited about today since it has been some time since we’ve gone on a date and on last year’s anniversary we stayed at home. I only remember that Elliot wanted to go out for dinner, but other than that I don’t really know what his plans are and it makes me a bit anxious. Knowing Elliot, it would be something small and concealed so that wouldn’t be something unsettling for me. I got inside the car and the first thing I did was lean over towards him, kissing him softly.“Hi.” I said.“How are you?” He asked as he started driving after I put on my seat belt.“I’m doing well. I’m excited to go out today and we didn’t get to see each other last night.” I said, looking over at him.Elliot gave a loud sigh and said, “I’ve just been so caught up with my assignments and group projects that took a lot of my time. I’m sorry that I hav
Last Updated : 2023-01-14Don't Touch Chapter 6 [2-2]
We continued on walking, I pulled off my shoes to feel the wet sand as we got closer to the ocean water and we strolled around for a while seeing the sun setting. I rolled my jeans up as the water came up to my ankle and it felt so refreshing having to spend the day here at the beach. Elliot tried giving me his jacket, but I wasn’t cold and he watched me as I dipped my feet a bit further into the water; I gave up on keeping my pants dry. The beach was finally less crowded as people started packing up with the moon beginning to rise and the pier began to light up for the evening.“You’re going to get sick,” Elliot warned, trying to call me back.“I’ll be fine,” I said, walking over to him and looking back over at the ocean. “I hope this summer we can come back here more often… Where you live, it’ll be further away from here and it’s also away from the mountain we used to hike at.”Elliot put his jacket over my shoulder, it feels warm. “We can make time. The semester will be over in a f
Last Updated : 2023-01-19Don't Touch Chapter 7 [1-3]
The week went by so fast that I wasn’t too sure where to start, but I saw my doctor on Tuesday and it seems like it’ll take about three weeks for my insurance to approve the change of medication. All I could do is wait for a call from the pharmacy when it would be available and with the tutoring from Lucas helped me passed the quiz that the professor surprised us with on Wednesday. Lucas began to refuse payment for the sessions now and I felt like I needed to find something to pay for his help. When Friday arrived, I didn’t bother Elliot too much about coming to the meeting and I went straight home afterwards since I have plans to go over to Elliot’s new apartment the next day. He’s been focused on us that I want to do the same as well during my stay at his new apartment and for today I want to stop throwing my problems on him. I should stop bringing up these issues that I’ve been going through not wanting to worry him during our time apart and I feel like I owe him so much after all
Last Updated : 2023-01-22Don't Touch Chapter 7 [2-3]
I made my way to the bus stop once I was ready and I knew it'd be a bit of a long ride so I distracted myself with some music. Staring out the window I saw the sky still shining and checked the map on the phone to look for the closest market near Elliot’s apartment. There was a market three blocks over and I would need to go to his apartment first to leave my stuff; which still leaves me an hour and a half before he’s out of class. When I was in the market I looked around trying to make sure I bought all the ingredients that were necessary for what I wanted to make and I frowned when I stepped outside. The rain that my mom mentioned wasn’t just a light rain, but a heavy pour, and last I heard it wasn’t supposed to rain for another three days. I shivered when the breeze hit my face and I pulled my hoodie to cover the top of my head as I started making my way back to the apartment. A short three-block felt so long and it was like the rained heavier the closer I made it back to the shelt
Last Updated : 2023-01-25
Latest chapter
Don't Touch Chapter 18 [4-4]
We spent some time holding onto each other until it started to feel cold now that the sun was going down and the wind got a little stronger. I put on my shoes and then helped Elliot clean the blanket before making our way to the car. Elliot was asking what I would be interested in eating, maybe trying to help me be in the mood to have something filling, but I wasn’t too sure how much I could intake. I agreed with something as simple as pizza and we took it home, where my mom was waiting for us. There was this awkward silence around the table; I felt like Elliot wanted to talk with my mom and report about our day, always privately counseling her. I was barely able to finish two slices before putting my plate in the sink and I gave them their time as I excused myself to change my clothes. I washed my feet since it was dirty from stepping on the wet sand and when I came back to my room, Elliot was lying down on my bed. I didn't say anything as I grabbed a new pair of socks and moved to
Don't Touch Chapter 18 [3-4]
“Michael?” Elliot asked, wanting me to reply to his statement.“I’m listening,” I whispered, turning to look at him and thinking more about his words.“I don’t want you to be upset with yourself or to have any guilty conscience. It was just… I’m trying to inform you that this is also substance abuse or could even lead to it and you’ve used both alcohol and drugs in the past. This is aside from the fact that your friends pressured you to drink, if they continue with this, then you will blindly harm yourself in the long run. I’m actually surprised that you didn’t have that thought and it’s concerning.” Elliot tells me and it felt me speechless.I looked up at the sky and noticed the sun was beginning to set. “Can we not talk about this anymore?” I asked him.“I’m only telling you from the way I view it and I care about you. I don’t know how much you’ve explained to Doctor Brown about the situation, but with your reaction, it seemed like this is something that you haven’t made yourself a
Don't Touch Chapter 18 [2-4]
We both didn’t say anything as Elliot kept his focus on the road and I kept my eyes out the window seeing the view change. I always enjoy seeing the beach view and maybe being out would be a nice breather like he suggested. It took a bit of time for Elliot to find parking and we made our way over to an area that was less crowded. Now that we’re near summer, it was a nice day to be at the beach and it wasn’t so hot that I had to take off my sweater. As always, Elliot took out a blanket from the trunk of his car like he’s always prepared and we laid it out after we found a nice spot away from the pier. It felt like we were the only people on the beach, giving me this secure feeling.“Are you sure that you’re not hungry?” Elliot asked after noticing the time. “I’ll eat after we are done here,” I said while looking over the ocean view and seeing the water shining from the sunlight.“But you like to stay here for hours,” Elliot retorts and tilts his head to look at me closer.I shrugged m
Don't Touch Chapter 18 [1-4]
I sat up suddenly and felt my hands shaking, knowing I’d woken up from another nightmare. Why was this one real compared to the other one I had? Why did I remember something from the past that I was able to forget? No, I’m going to forget about it again like it never happened. I don’t want more memories from the past to resurface and affect me like before. It took me a moment to remember that I was in my bedroom and I reached a hand out to the spot beside me. I didn’t feel Elliot's hand and looked over to see his side of the bed empty. I tried to stay calm as I looked around my room trying to figure out if he had left while I was sleeping, but that wouldn’t be something that Elliot would do. “Elliot?” I called out in a small voice. Did he go home? No, he said that he was going to stay for a while and wasn’t going to leave without telling me. I tried not to feel overwhelmed as I pulled the covers off and checked the restroom, hoping he was in there. I stepped out to the hallway, hear
Don't Touch Chapter 17 [3-3]
For a second, I wondered if we shouldn’t be holding each other like this, but does this mean that he still cares for me, or is he only being kind? If we had been like this before I fell asleep, I might not have had that dream. The thought about the dream had me shivering as I recall Chris’s face and I moved a bit away from Elliot, but he still had me in his arms. He must have noticed my discomfort and I felt his hands patting my back, trying to comfort me. I’m starting to feel a bit of pain in the pit of my stomach and I know it’s all the stress from having the panic attacks to the night terror. “I’m tired,” I mumbled as I closed my eyes, feeling exhausted again. “You’re going to be tired the whole day if you don’t rest,” Elliot replied. “I know… I’m already getting a stomach ache,” I said, then sighed, feeling a little pain. “And I was feeling that earlier at my dad’s house.” “Do you need some medicine?” He asked me. “I think so,” I said, sitting up. “Stay here. I’ll get it for
Don't Touch Chapter 17 [2-3]
I closed my eyes, trying to get comfortable, and it felt easier to fall asleep with Elliot beside me. At least I know he is here supportively and he chose to stay the night because he wanted to; not just to watch over me out of spite. Even if he was here to comfort me and nothing more, I’m thankful he let me lean on him, even if it’s only for tonight. I opened my eyes, wanting a little peek, and he looked like he was already sound asleep; maybe he was already tired before coming to pick me up. There was something I wanted to ask him about our relationship, but I was also afraid to hear the answer, or I was only hoping for an answer that I wanted to hear. I turned over, away from him, and closed my eyes, knowing I was only trying to distract myself from sleeping. For a while, I could hear the soft breathing coming from Elliot, and hearing him was a nice reminder that I wasn’t alone. A sudden flashing light disturbed me and I raised a hand trying to block it; maybe I left the blinds op
Don't Touch Chapter 17 [1-3]
Chapter 17When we entered the house, I went to the kitchen and decided I needed my anxiety pill. “Do you want something to drink?” I asked him.“Water is fine,” He answered.I grabbed two bottles of water and handed them to him as we moved to sit on the couch. “You really don’t mind staying?” I asked him.Elliot took the bottle of water and had a small sip, “I don’t mind.”I moved to lean against the armrest and face him as we sat on the long couch. “Before I called you, I was in the guest room trying to relax but I was going through both panic attacks and anxiety,” I told him while looking down at the bottle of water. “All those feelings came to me that I began to doubt myself... Every time I see Chris, alarm bells go off in my head and my body yells that I need to leave. Runaway, hide, or find a way to disappear.”Elliot reached out to hold my wrist and the touch grabbed my attention, “And now your home, far away from him. Remember that he’s not going to hurt you here.”“Come on, E
Don't Touch Chapter 16 [4-4]
I looked into the living room, and I saw Ally on the ground playing with her toys while Caesar sat beside her, looking down at his phone. “When did she wake up?” I asked.He looked up and put his phone away, “About ten minutes ago… You look worse.”I moved to sit on the floor with them and Ally crawled over to me. “I called Elliot and he’s going to come by,” I told him and put Ally on my lap with her stuffed bear. “Is it okay if you wait until he gets here?”“Yeah,” He nodded as he reached into his pocket and handed me a paper. “They want you to call this number and you can tell them what happened. It’s Chris’s probation officer and they said that he will get a fine after breaking his restraining order.”I looked down at the paper, “A fine? That’s it?” I asked him.“Since he didn’t do anything, there isn’t much they can do besides that, and if he had done something, they could have him in jail for over six months,” Caesar said, leaning back to rest against the couch.“But that sounds
Don't Touch Chapter 16 [3-4]
It was quiet on the walk back to my house and Caesar laid Ally down on her crib after I showed him the way to the bedroom. I was able to calm down a bit, but my hands were still shakey and I knew that this anxious feeling wouldn’t go away. I watched as Caesar closed the door behind him and rubbed my arm nervously, taking the lead back downstairs. I led him to the kitchen to grab a cup of water and took a small sip while Caesar stood behind me, leaning against the counter. It's my fault for being careless and going out when I’ve already been warned that he’s back in town. What would have happened if I was alone or if Caesar didn’t show up at the right time?“Thanks for helping me,” I whispered.“Well, it wasn’t like he could do much without having to put himself in jail and I’m not sure how you would have been if he stayed longer.” He said and looked me over like he was being cautious with his words. “You should be careful having these panic attacks while holding your sister… It looked
