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Ryan: A Different Side
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2022-03-11 09:07:05“Thanks, man,” Patrick mutters before clearing his throat. “So, I know that I’ve been really rough on Ryan in the past - “
“Pendejo,” Ayo mutters.
“Ayo!” Lucy exclaims. “Let him talk.”
“Fine,” Ayo growls. She folders her arms across her chest and glares at Patrick. “Go ahead.”
Patrick's eyes widen and he stares at Ayo for a second. I realize that I don’t think that Patrick and Ayo have ever had an actual
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Mr. and Mrs. Miller turn to me and I steel myself for what will not be a pleasant conversation.“So, Carter,” Mr. Miller starts. “Do you know what Ryan has been through?”“She told me what Tommy did to her,” I reply. At the mention of his name, both Mr. and Mrs. Miller visibly flinch.“Has she told you anything about what happened after or about the trials?” Mrs. Miller asks.“Not really,” I shake my head. “I know that she had an episode today, related to her PTSD. I know that the episode was about the first trial and Tommy attempted to attack her then. I know that the episodes have been happening fairly regularly since that night. And I know that she has an appointment
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“What about Final Fantasy?” Jake asks. “After dinner,” I say. Jake nods and plops down at the table to start his homework. Carter and I take our drinks out to the gazebo. Mom and Dad follow us outside a few minutes later. “So...how bad was it? Still like me?” I ask as we settle in the gazebo. “Brutal! I don’t know how I’ll ever recover,” Carter says melodramatically. “Hmmmm. I can think of a way to help.”
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“I was put into Brook Haven for a month,” I said. The local psych ward. I mean, it made sense, since she tried to commit suicide. But I can’t imagine Ryan there. The people there have a reputation for being walking zombies. I can’t imagine this smart, funny, vibrant, beautiful girl stuck there.. “It was...hell. There was no privacy, no autonomy, no...control. Funny how the cure to my losing control of my body is for them to take control of my body.” She gives a mirthless laugh. Ryan sits up and I let her
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Wednesday passed pretty uneventfully considering all of the shit that went down yesterday. I walked Ryan to homeroom, sat next to her in Band, ate with her and all of our friends in the lunchroom, and kissed her before she left for her appointments. She promised to call me after her session and I had several hours to kill before I talked to her. I went home and saw Mom was already there. She was a substitute teacher, so she was often home when I got back from school. “Hey, Mom!” I called when I walked in the side door and kicked off my shoes. “Hey, Carter. In the kitchen,”
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Mom, Dad, Jake, and I walk to Carter’s back gate. Carter sees us and calls to his parents. “Mom! Dad! Ryan and her folks are here.” Carter opens the gate. “Hey guys, come on in.” He high-fives Jake, shakes Dad’s hand, takes the dish from Mom (brownies, yum!), and pulls me in for a kiss. Before pulling away, Carter whispers in my ear, “Are you wearing the bikini?” I smile. “Got it in my bag.” He closes his eyes, “*Damn*!” He grabs my hand, leading me into the backyard.
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June, 2000 “Carter Nathaniel Moore.” I walk across the stage, hearing my parents, Lucas, Cody, and the Millers cheering from the audience. From the stage, Patrick, Jess, and Jaime call out my name. And from the pit band, I hear Ayo, Lucy, and Ryan screaming. I walk to the principal to pick up my diploma, shaking Principal Lemar’s hand. Soon after I sit, Jess, Patrick, and Jaime take their walks across the stage. Not long after we throw our hats in the air and are officially high school graduates. ---- All of our friends and our families meet in the large banquet room at the diner. Mr. Sloan and the entire staff of the diner hav
Dissonance and Harmony Carter: Just Us
“So, where are we going?” I ask once we’re in the car. “I don’t know,” Ryan says. Her face is all smiles and she is literally bouncing in her seat. “I know! The beach. Let’s go to the beach. I need to do something.” “Alright.” I put the car in gear. Ryan turns on the radio and sings along to I Need to Know, Where My Girls At?, and All Star at the top of her lungs. Though it’s chilly outside, Ryan rolls the window down and sticks her hand out of it. Once we arrive at the beach, Ryan j
Dissonance and Harmony Ryan: Hate at the Surface
I know that Lisa needed to say those things. They had to be told to the judge to keep Tommy in jail. But I hate that he knows. That he knows the effect that he had on me. That he’s still having on me. It pisses me off. Fuck him. Over there, leering at me. His brother behind him laughing at each description of my pain. Fuck them both. He’s going to jail and I’m going to make sure that it is for a long, long time. “The last impact statement is from the victim, Ms. Ryan Miller,” Mr. Shift says. “Please approach, Ms. Miller,” the judge calls.
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I hadn’t heard my mother’s speech prior to now. I didn’t think that I’d be able to handle it. But I’m proud of her. Her statement was simple, but powerful and I can plainly see that it has affected the judge. As Mom walks to our row, I stand and hug her. She falls into my arms and squeezes me. “You did good, Mom. I love you.” “Thanks, baby. I love you, too.” We sit and wait for what comes next. “Mr. Shift, who has the next statement?” the judge asks. “Lisa Armstrong, the victim’s the
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The only thing that is keeping me in my seat is Carter’s hand in mine and pure willpower. I can feel Tommy’s gaze from across the room and it feels like fingers running all over my skin. I really don’t hear the report from the judge, but I see my parents relax and hear Ayo and Patrick give a little cheer under their breath. “What did she say?” I whisper to Carter. He is attempting to shield me from Tommy’s gaze, but there is only so much he can do. I don’t think that Tommy has turned away from me once. “The probation department recommended the maximum sentences for both the rape and the
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There is a huge group of us sitting on the prosecutor side of the courtroom: Lisa, Ryan’s parents, Jake, my mom, Lucas, and all of our close friends. On Tommy’s side, there are only two people. I assume that they are his mother and brother. Ryan is astutely ignoring them. But they seem to be doing exactly the opposite. They are glaring daggers at Ryan and her family. I scoot up so that I am directly in their eyesight, glaring back and cocking my head. Tommy’s mother looks a bit embarrassed and turns away, but his brother gives an amused scoff before shaking his head at me. He eventually turns when the door to the side of the courtroom opens. In walks Tommy. I have never hated anyone so much in my entire life. The anger boils in
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I am so full of nervous energy that I burn the eggs three different times. “Carter,” Mrs. Moore puts a hand on my shoulder. “Why don’t I take over the eggs? You get the bacon in the oven.” “Sorry.” I move out of her way and rub my face with my hands. “I just can’t focus.” “I understand.” She smiles sadly at me, grabbing the pan and the spatula. Mom comes up behind me and turns me towards her. “Car, why don’t you go talk with the guys? I’ll help Joyce.” “I think I’m going
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I pull Ryan into my chest, trying to still my beating heart. That was...incredible. More than anything that I’d dreamed of (and I’d had a few dreams about her). I kiss her hair. “I love you,” I breathe. “I love you, too.” Ryan cups my cheek, but keeps her face in my chest, trying to regulate her breathing. After a few moments, I begin to pull away. “I have to take care of…” I gesture to the condom that I’m still wearing. She lays on her back and waves her hand towards the door. “Knock yourself out. I’
