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Why am I fucking here again?
Last Updated:
2022-06-23 20:23:02Related chapters
Darling, I'm Toxic Caught in a Bad Dream
“Time is free, but it’s priceless. You can’t own it, but you can use it. You can’t keep it, but you can spend it. Once you’ve lost it, you can never get it back.” — Harvey MacKay"Hello... is anyone here?""Can someone hear me?"What happened? Can someone know how to turn back time? Can someone save me from drowning in this oblivion? I couldn't get up. I couldn't speak. I couldn't move forward. I don't know what to do. Can someone hear my thoughts? Can someone wake me up from this eternal damnation?"Bella," I heard his faint whisper, and when that voice reverberated. I felt my body come out of paralysis. I remember the only person who called me that. So I continued to walk and walk... till my knees wobbled and I got exhausted. Where are you? I couldn't see you. I couldn't find you. There is no direction. I couldn't even get a glimpse of light. I'm completely blind. Is this only a bad dream?Please wake me up.... I don't know where I am. Last time I remember is going out of the room w
Last Updated : 2022-06-24Darling, I'm Toxic Begin Again
"The two most powerful warriors are patience and time." – Leo Tolstoy"I never expected you to be here. How are you... bella?"Nakabalik ako sa reyalidad ng maramdaman ang paglagay ng hat sa ulo ko. Napatingin ako sa labi niyang tipid na umangat ang gilid. His red lips looks so soft and glossy. It was like seeking my attention. Nakakatitig ako sa labi niya habang bumubuka ang mga iyon."There. You should secure your things Bella" Umayos ako ng tayo at umiwas ng tingin nang lumayo ang lalaki sa akin. He cleared his throat and chuckles with his low husky voice. "What are----"I hissed in pain when someone pushed me at my back. Tumama ang noo ko sa dibdib ni Hali at pakiramdam ko nauntog ako sa pader kaya naman hinimas ko ang parteng nasaktan. "Careful! May nababangga kayo" sigaw ni Hali gamit ang malalim niyang boses bago bumaling sakin. Hali leaned over and whispered in my ear "Are you okay?"I was about to answer but before I could even open my mouth, someone stumbled beside us b
Last Updated : 2022-07-10Darling, I'm Toxic A Name I longed for
“Your soulmate will be the stranger you recognize.” — r.h. SinNapabalikwas ako ng bangon ng tila nahulog ako sa gulat dala ng aking panaginip. Napahilamos ako ng mukha ng magpatanto kung ano yung napanaginipan ko. I look at my phone and saw that he didn't reply on my message until now. Tumingin ako sa orasan at nakitang mahigit isang oras na ang nakakalipas. Sa pagod ay hindi ko na namalayan na nakaidlip pala ako kakahintay sa kanyang reply.I sigh. Nilinis ko ang pinagkainan ko at kinuha ang malate. Masyado pang maaga para matulog ako, pero tinatamad na ako kumilos. Umakyat ako sa taas kasama ang dalawang maleta at pabagsak na humiga ako sa kama. Nakatingala sa ceiling habang ang utak ko ay patuloy na gumagana. Until thoughts conquers my consciousness. It's been a while. I didn't how fast the time was until time, became the only hope I have. Totoo ngang hindi mo kayang diktahan ang tadhana mo. Sinubukan kong laruin ang tadhana ko at ng ibang tao, pero sa huli ipinakita nito sa aki
Last Updated : 2022-09-05Darling, I'm Toxic Never Playing Again
"I once dreamt of someone holding my hand until daylight, on a freshly vague page of my life." - Miss Erity They claimed that people will meet someone who is mysteriously connected to them at some point in their lives. The unknown force, breathing and whispering from your skin as if it were the largest portion of your soul. I had never believed that until I met one. Surprisingly, his eyes connect the gaps in between. However, it is frightening to consider that one person has the power to either heal or destroy you. That is something I will never, ever allow to happen to me. I'm no stranger to this kind of feeling, but this time it's unfathomably strong and scorching. All I could do was flee. Run as far away as possible to avoid being burned. But how can I? If the fire has its own mind and keeps on coming towards me "We meet again." nakangiti kong sambit sa kanya pagkalabas namin namin ng haunted house display dito sa carnival. Ang haunted house ay tila isang maliit na man
Last Updated : 2022-09-09Darling, I'm Toxic Yes or No
“It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.”― Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy Saglit na natigilan ako sa tinitignang mga papeles kasama na doon ang litrato ng isang lalaking napakapamilyar sa akin. Napahawak ako sa kaliwang kamay ko upang pigilan ang panginginig. I breathe in and out. Knowing that it was him, who once part of my beautiful fairy tale life before. Indeed, the pain may left for a while but as long as the scar is there. It was never gone. I have come to a decision in life to never go back to where I am before. I knew that it was but I also knew that in the moment, for me, it was necessary. I am desperate and hurt. So I did what I did. For the months I have runaway to my hometown, I experienced a beautiful life of healing and soul restoration. Not until now. A gorgeous who came to invade my life once again... Tumalim ang tingin
Last Updated : 2022-10-31Darling, I'm Toxic Gut Feeling
"Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end." – John LennonI woke up feeling lethargic. It's like theres an empty hole inside my chest and I don't know how to deal with it. Just like before, after that tragedy happened. I felt the same emptiness, like the energy is drained out of my body and I was tasting my own poison, my own karma. Dahan-dahan akong bumangon mula sa pagkakahiga at tamad na nagstretch ng katawan. Napatitig ako sa labas ng malaking bintana at napapikit na pinakiramdaman ang nakakapasong sinag ng araw. I heavily sighed and think about what happened last night. After I got home, uminom pa ko ng beer magisa at nagisip-isip. I'm wondering, what is he talking about? Is there something I need to know? Maybe this is not just about serving the justice. I'm not fool. For a short time, I haved known Investigator Adral and he is not the type of person to defend bad people. I was blinded for a while because of anger. But why push about the true kill
Last Updated : 2022-11-30Darling, I'm Toxic Ledger
“Once you get over the first hill, there is always a new, higher one lurking, of course.” ~ Esa-Pekka SalonenMabilis na tumakbo ang sugatang lalaki sa kagubatan. Nang mapansing wala ng humahabol sa kanya. Marahan syang tumigil at hinihingal na napasandal sya sa likod ng puno. Hinubad nya ang kanyang jacket at pumunit siya ng tela sa laylayan ng kanyang tshirt upang balutan ang nagdudugong braso. "Arggh" pagpipigil nya ng sakit habang paulit-ulit na bumubuntong-hininga. Napatikom ang kanyang bibig ng marinig ang papalapit na mga yapak. Dali-dali niyang sinuot ang kanyang itim na jacket."Wag nyong hayaang makatakas ang traydor na yon!" Umaalingangaw ang galit na sigaw ng lalaki sa paligid at ang tunog ng kalaskas ng dahon na kanilang tinatapakan. Napakuyom ang kanyang kamao at mabilis na umalis sa kanyang pwesto. Tila ba'y siya ay nakikipaglaro sa dilim, ang kanyang mga yapak ay walang ingay at ang kanyang mga kilos ay napakagaan. Sumasabay sa malamig na simoy ng hangin ng papas
Last Updated : 2022-12-31Darling, I'm Toxic PROLOGUE
“What goes around, comes back around.” ― Unknown 5:30 pm Franco trimmed his beard and glanced in the mirror, recalling the days he couldn't forget. His precious daughter, the only glimpse of his sanity was taken away from him because of someone. That someone is a man who was admired because of his charms and intelligence at an early age but he is also one of the dirtiest people he knows. He was hidden in his white uniform, just like his family. Franco thought internally. Nagngi-ngitngit ang panga sa galit, malakas nyang ibinato ang razor blade na ginagamit sa salamin kaya nabasag at nagtalsikan ito. 'Ang akala ba nila tapos na akong maghiganti!? Hindi. Nagsisimula palang kami!' sigaw nya sa isipan at malakas na sinuntok ang sink. He was fuming mad that he didn't mind whether his knuckles are bleeding and some parts of shattered mirror glass made small cuts on his face. "I will do everything to ruin your family Dr. Valentine at pagtapos nun ay ako mismo ang papatay sayo." he mutte
Last Updated : 2022-04-22
Latest chapter
Darling, I'm Toxic Ledger
“Once you get over the first hill, there is always a new, higher one lurking, of course.” ~ Esa-Pekka SalonenMabilis na tumakbo ang sugatang lalaki sa kagubatan. Nang mapansing wala ng humahabol sa kanya. Marahan syang tumigil at hinihingal na napasandal sya sa likod ng puno. Hinubad nya ang kanyang jacket at pumunit siya ng tela sa laylayan ng kanyang tshirt upang balutan ang nagdudugong braso. "Arggh" pagpipigil nya ng sakit habang paulit-ulit na bumubuntong-hininga. Napatikom ang kanyang bibig ng marinig ang papalapit na mga yapak. Dali-dali niyang sinuot ang kanyang itim na jacket."Wag nyong hayaang makatakas ang traydor na yon!" Umaalingangaw ang galit na sigaw ng lalaki sa paligid at ang tunog ng kalaskas ng dahon na kanilang tinatapakan. Napakuyom ang kanyang kamao at mabilis na umalis sa kanyang pwesto. Tila ba'y siya ay nakikipaglaro sa dilim, ang kanyang mga yapak ay walang ingay at ang kanyang mga kilos ay napakagaan. Sumasabay sa malamig na simoy ng hangin ng papas
Darling, I'm Toxic Gut Feeling
"Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end." – John LennonI woke up feeling lethargic. It's like theres an empty hole inside my chest and I don't know how to deal with it. Just like before, after that tragedy happened. I felt the same emptiness, like the energy is drained out of my body and I was tasting my own poison, my own karma. Dahan-dahan akong bumangon mula sa pagkakahiga at tamad na nagstretch ng katawan. Napatitig ako sa labas ng malaking bintana at napapikit na pinakiramdaman ang nakakapasong sinag ng araw. I heavily sighed and think about what happened last night. After I got home, uminom pa ko ng beer magisa at nagisip-isip. I'm wondering, what is he talking about? Is there something I need to know? Maybe this is not just about serving the justice. I'm not fool. For a short time, I haved known Investigator Adral and he is not the type of person to defend bad people. I was blinded for a while because of anger. But why push about the true kill
Darling, I'm Toxic Yes or No
“It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.”― Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy Saglit na natigilan ako sa tinitignang mga papeles kasama na doon ang litrato ng isang lalaking napakapamilyar sa akin. Napahawak ako sa kaliwang kamay ko upang pigilan ang panginginig. I breathe in and out. Knowing that it was him, who once part of my beautiful fairy tale life before. Indeed, the pain may left for a while but as long as the scar is there. It was never gone. I have come to a decision in life to never go back to where I am before. I knew that it was but I also knew that in the moment, for me, it was necessary. I am desperate and hurt. So I did what I did. For the months I have runaway to my hometown, I experienced a beautiful life of healing and soul restoration. Not until now. A gorgeous who came to invade my life once again... Tumalim ang tingin
Darling, I'm Toxic Never Playing Again
"I once dreamt of someone holding my hand until daylight, on a freshly vague page of my life." - Miss Erity They claimed that people will meet someone who is mysteriously connected to them at some point in their lives. The unknown force, breathing and whispering from your skin as if it were the largest portion of your soul. I had never believed that until I met one. Surprisingly, his eyes connect the gaps in between. However, it is frightening to consider that one person has the power to either heal or destroy you. That is something I will never, ever allow to happen to me. I'm no stranger to this kind of feeling, but this time it's unfathomably strong and scorching. All I could do was flee. Run as far away as possible to avoid being burned. But how can I? If the fire has its own mind and keeps on coming towards me "We meet again." nakangiti kong sambit sa kanya pagkalabas namin namin ng haunted house display dito sa carnival. Ang haunted house ay tila isang maliit na man
Darling, I'm Toxic A Name I longed for
“Your soulmate will be the stranger you recognize.” — r.h. SinNapabalikwas ako ng bangon ng tila nahulog ako sa gulat dala ng aking panaginip. Napahilamos ako ng mukha ng magpatanto kung ano yung napanaginipan ko. I look at my phone and saw that he didn't reply on my message until now. Tumingin ako sa orasan at nakitang mahigit isang oras na ang nakakalipas. Sa pagod ay hindi ko na namalayan na nakaidlip pala ako kakahintay sa kanyang reply.I sigh. Nilinis ko ang pinagkainan ko at kinuha ang malate. Masyado pang maaga para matulog ako, pero tinatamad na ako kumilos. Umakyat ako sa taas kasama ang dalawang maleta at pabagsak na humiga ako sa kama. Nakatingala sa ceiling habang ang utak ko ay patuloy na gumagana. Until thoughts conquers my consciousness. It's been a while. I didn't how fast the time was until time, became the only hope I have. Totoo ngang hindi mo kayang diktahan ang tadhana mo. Sinubukan kong laruin ang tadhana ko at ng ibang tao, pero sa huli ipinakita nito sa aki
Darling, I'm Toxic Begin Again
"The two most powerful warriors are patience and time." – Leo Tolstoy"I never expected you to be here. How are you... bella?"Nakabalik ako sa reyalidad ng maramdaman ang paglagay ng hat sa ulo ko. Napatingin ako sa labi niyang tipid na umangat ang gilid. His red lips looks so soft and glossy. It was like seeking my attention. Nakakatitig ako sa labi niya habang bumubuka ang mga iyon."There. You should secure your things Bella" Umayos ako ng tayo at umiwas ng tingin nang lumayo ang lalaki sa akin. He cleared his throat and chuckles with his low husky voice. "What are----"I hissed in pain when someone pushed me at my back. Tumama ang noo ko sa dibdib ni Hali at pakiramdam ko nauntog ako sa pader kaya naman hinimas ko ang parteng nasaktan. "Careful! May nababangga kayo" sigaw ni Hali gamit ang malalim niyang boses bago bumaling sakin. Hali leaned over and whispered in my ear "Are you okay?"I was about to answer but before I could even open my mouth, someone stumbled beside us b
Darling, I'm Toxic Caught in a Bad Dream
“Time is free, but it’s priceless. You can’t own it, but you can use it. You can’t keep it, but you can spend it. Once you’ve lost it, you can never get it back.” — Harvey MacKay"Hello... is anyone here?""Can someone hear me?"What happened? Can someone know how to turn back time? Can someone save me from drowning in this oblivion? I couldn't get up. I couldn't speak. I couldn't move forward. I don't know what to do. Can someone hear my thoughts? Can someone wake me up from this eternal damnation?"Bella," I heard his faint whisper, and when that voice reverberated. I felt my body come out of paralysis. I remember the only person who called me that. So I continued to walk and walk... till my knees wobbled and I got exhausted. Where are you? I couldn't see you. I couldn't find you. There is no direction. I couldn't even get a glimpse of light. I'm completely blind. Is this only a bad dream?Please wake me up.... I don't know where I am. Last time I remember is going out of the room w
Darling, I'm Toxic Why am I fucking here again?
"Confession is always a weakness. The grave soul keeps its own secrets, and takes its own punishment in silence." - Dorothy DixTatlong araw....Tatlong araw akong nilagnat nung mga panahong iyon. Lumipas na ang dalawang buwan. Hindi ako makapaniwalang ganoon katagal na akong nagstay dito. Hanggang ngayon naiisip ko parin kung imahinasyon nga lang ba ang boses na iyon o totoong may kausap si Shin that time, pero ang tanong na nagpapagulo sa aking isipan ay kung sino? Iyon ang ipinagtataka ko. Bukod sa Doctor at mga inmates na devoted sa kanya ay wala na akong kilalang close pa niya at sigurado along hindi sila iyon. Kung paano ko nasabi? Dahil walang kahit sinong pwedeng lumabas na inmates ng ganung oras at malamang hindi siya si Doctor Hunter dahil considering from what the man said, he is his brother. Hindi kaya... siya yung misteryosong lalaki na tumawag sakin last time ng nakipag-away si Shin? Simula kasi noon ay hindi ko na siya nakita pa. Hindi ko nalang inisip dahil kung tutuu
Darling, I'm Toxic Fever
“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” -Nelson MandelaHindi ko maintindihan. Bakit kay dali nalang gumawa ng masama kaysa maging mabuti? Bakit kay dali na lang magalit kaysa magpatawad? At bakit tila naging natural na lamang sa atin na gumanti kapag tayo ay naagrabyado o nasasaktan? Isa ako sa mga iyon. Minsan iniisip ko kung kahinaan ba ang ugaling iyon, dahil kung tutuusin wala ni isang magandang naidulot ito sa buhay natin. Kapag nagalit ka dahil may nagawang masama ang kapwa mo, magagalit din naman sila at kapag sinubukan mo namang gumawa ng kabutihan despite its difficulty, it will not be appreciated. Sometimes, people may see it as fake. Nakakatawa lang na ang tao ay may pare-parehas na ugaling hindi nila minsan namamalayan at magawang bitawan kung sakaling maging aware man. Bakit? Dahil lahat tayo gusto ng mas madali. Madaling magalit. Madaling gumanti. Madaling maging masama pero mahirap maging mabuti, magpatawad ng paulit-
