“It is with flowers as with moral qualities; the bright are sometimes poisonous; but, I believe, never the sweet.” ― Augustus Hare
Malamig na simoy ng hangin, mabining huni ng mga ibon sa langit at halinghing ng mapayapang kagubatan ang bumungad sakin pagkamulat ko ng aking mga mata. Bahagyang ngumiti ang aking mga labi at malamyang niyakap ang unan sa aking tabi habang nakatingin sa kurtinang hinahangin dahil sa nakabukas na malaking bintana.
Mula sa kinahihigaan ko makikita ang napakagandang tanawin, kung saan nakatayo roon ang magandang istraktura ng greenhouse na pagmamay-ari ko. Ang naging tila paraiso sakin sa loob ng mansyon na ito. It was a birthday gift of my deceased mother, Isabelle. She was the one who influenced me to love the green land, the plants, and especially the exquisite flowers, which I have adored since I was a child. Masasabi ko ngang kabisado ko na ang halos lahat ng iba't ibang klaseng bulaklak.
Ni hindi ko namalayan ang mga minutong lumipas ng aking pagkakatulala at pag-aalala sa nakaraan kung saan nabubuhay pa ang aking ina. Nahinto lamang ito ng bigla akong napapitlag sa malakas na katok sa aking pintuan. Nakangusong tamad na bumagon at pinagbuksan ang tao sa likod niyon. Nang makita ko kung sino iyon ay dahang-dahang sumilay muli ang malambing na ngiti sa aking mga labi. She's a cute little girl in the age of 8, wearing her favorite pink dress and holding the doll I gave her as a gift.
"Ate ganda, andyan na po sila missy!" sambit ni Helianna gamit ang natural nyang maliit na boses.
She's our adoptive sister, we actually found her on the streets. Tumakas ang bata sa bahay ampunan dahil gusto daw nitong hanapin ang kapatid na nawalay sa kanya pagkatapos syang kuhanin ng DSWD. Somehow, we sympathize with her. Minsan narin namin naranasan ang mabaliw sa paghahanap at mangulila sa taong hindi mo alam kung buhay pa ba o patay na. That fire ignites inside just to find the person you value so much. It makes you desperate and reckless. Our family relates to that, I, relates to that. That's the reason why my father wants to adopt her the moment we hear her story. To help Helianna find her sister.
Now, she's being pampered here and getting everything she deserves as a child. Even the children from Angelicum bahay ampunan, where she previously resided, come to our villa once a month. It is permitted because we sponsored the home shelter, and in Folk Villa, we have another little mansion where we usually invited our guests. It was created because my father is sensitive when it comes to the family privacy and also for safety purposes. We don’t want to repeat the history and our past mistakes.
The little mansion is near the woods at the back of our main mansion. It is a two-story structure with three bedrooms and one arcade parlor. There is also a rooftop.
While, we have four floors in the main mansion. My brothers and I sleep on the third floor. It has 6 bedrooms since my parents planned it beforehand. Unfortunately, we only have five siblings. So, Helianna occupied the sixth room in the 3rd floor. The master bedroom is located on the fourth floor, and it is specifically our parents' nest. The second floor includes the theater, library, arcade room, music room, and two bedrooms for our special guests. It's for the close-related family. It has 6 bedrooms as well. Mayroon din kaming rooftop sa main mansion, pero hindi nga lang sya madalas gamitin.
Nang matapos na ko maligo at makapag-ayos ay agad na akong bumaba papunta sa backyard kung saan mayroong mahabang lamesa at naroon ang mga batang masayang nagkwekwentuhan at nagtatakbuhan. Nakangiting lumapit ako kay daddy para halikan sya sa pisngi. Then dumiretso kay Sister Marlyn at Mother Superior Angela upang magbigay ng respeto.
"Maligalig nanaman ang mga bata, nako anak, excited matuto ang mga yan sa paggawa ng bouquet"
Napangiti naman ako ng matamis ng marinig ko iyon. Kasama ko si kuya Zayne, habang yung dalawa ay paniguaradong tulog pa. Hindi talaga sila mahilig makihalubilo pero maamo rin ang mga iyon sa mga bata. Sobra nga ang pagkaspoiled ni Helianna sa dalawang iyon lalo na kay bunso.
Nakangiti kong itinuturo ang tamang pagputol ng tangkay bago namin simulan ang pag-arrange ng flowers. Sa gitna ng pagtingin ko sa ginagawa ni Missy, biglang may magtanong na bata.
"Ate ganda, ano pong tawag sa bulalak na to?" napalingon ako rito. Unti-unti nawala ang matamis na ngiti sa aking labi. Tila ba parang tambol na kumalabog ang aking puso.
"Don't touch that!" I shouted mindlessly at agad na lumapit rito para kuhanin ang bulaklak na aabutin nya sana. Nagkaroon ng katahimikan sa lamesa, kaya naman ngumiti ako sa mga bata at inilagay ang bulalak sa isang tray na walang laman.
"This is the Lily of Valley, a very poisonous flower the symbolizes the tears from religions. This represents sadness, pain, loss, and death. So, if you see this kind of flower, wag na wag nyong hahawakan bare hands, okay? this may not be fatal just like when it was ingested but it can cause dermatitis if touched. Pag sinabing dermatitis, eto yung skin irritation, kumbaga mangagati ka, magkakaroon ng rashes o dry skin. Kaya careful next time okay... Sharmaine?" I said at lumingon sa batang dadamputin sana ito.
"Opo ate ganda, sorry po" sambit nito at niyakap ang legs ko. Napatawa naman ako at hinubad ang itim na gloves na suot ko. Tsaka ginulo ang buhok ng bata. Sharmaine is already 7 years old, kaya naman alam kong naiintindihan nya ko.
"Everyone? Understood po ba?" I then asked them all. Lumingon ako sa mga ito at lihim na napangiti sa ibang nakanganga sakin. Ang mga maliliit na bata ay nakanguso lamang na nakatingin. “Don’t touch this okay?”
"Opo, ate ganda!" sabay-sabay na sambit ng mga to at nagpatuloy na sa paggawa.
"Alright, break time muna kids."
Lumapit ako kay kuya Zayne at padabog nq inabot rito ang tray. Wala nang ngiti sa aking mga labi habang nasa harapan ng dalawa.
"Who did you ordered to get the boxes of flowers inside my greenhouse? Yvonne and I already prepare it beforehand and yet, look what happened. I was studying the components of that flower. That's why I only have three pieces of it. So, I know she put that flower inside the box. Muntik nang mapahamak ang mga bata sa kapabayaan ng inutusan nyo!" mahinahon kong singhal habang nakacroos-arms. That flower, I put it on the table where I usually study so I'm so angry that it was here, kasama sa mga flowers na gagamitin namin ng mga bata.
"The new maid, ate" sambit nang kararating lang na si Ivory. He kissed me on the cheek and put his arms on my shoulder.
"Don't worry, I'll fire her; I don't tolerate mistakes, especially when they endanger others." sambit ni kuya Zayne kaya nabuga ako ng hangin. Satisfied sa naging sagot neto.
“Fair enough” nakacross-arms kong sambit,
Nawala ang atensyon nila daddy samin ng tawagin sila ni mother superior. Tinapik ako ni Ivory.
“Tara dito te, may ibubulong ako sayo” nakangiti ito ng maloko kaya naman napataas ang kilay ko. Tsk, yang mga ganyang ngiti. Hindi mapapagkatiwalaan. Inilapit ko ang tenga ko sa kanya habang nakasimangot ang aking mga labi.
"You will not believe this but I think our doctor Valentine is already a father. Pretend, I didn't tell you anything ate." bulong nito sakin habang nakatingin kay kuya Zayne at kay daddy na kausap si Mother Superior.
Napabilog ang mga labi ko at di makapaniwalang tumingin sa kanya. Seriously? Si kuya, daddy na!?
“Weh, are you sure?”
“Oo nga po te. Promise.” Sambit nito at tinaas pa ang kanang kamay, pagkatapos umaktong nilagyan ng cross ang dibdib nya.
“How did you know aber?”
“Well. Someone I know working as an inter in the obgyene clinic.”
“Ow, disclosing patient’s confidential record huh. That’s not right.” sambit ko habang iniiling-iling ang aking ulo. Sa gilid ng aking mata ay nakita ko ang mga batang maganang kumakain ng pinacatering ng food para sa kanila. Pagdating sa kusina, kami-kami lang magkakapatid ang kumikilos. Madalas si kuya Zayne since sya ang may pinakamasarap na luto sa amin. We only have maid for housekeeping and for gardening, I decided na ako nalang kaysa magbayad pa ng tao para doon. Then we have many guards around the mansion, that's why it became the most safest place for me.
“Yes. I mean--- no ate, I just saw her encoding Persephone medical file.”
“Where?” I raise my brow and look at him. Napakamot naman to ng noo at di makasagot. Ginulo ko ang buhok nito habang may malaking ngiti. Tumakbo ako papalapit kila kuya. Excited na pumunta ako sa pwesto nila Mother Superior at iniwan si Ivory roon. Anon nga ulit yung sinabi nya nung una? Hmm nevermind. I smirk. Kailangan kong kompirmahin si kuya dahil napakagandang balita ito kung ganun.
"Oy ate!" tawag nito sakin pero binalewala ko lang sya. Masayang hinila ko si Kuya Zayne na nasa isang tabi na nakikinig sa dalawang matanda na nag-uusap. Gulat na napatingin ito sakin.
“Why princess?”
"Sabi ni Ivory, magiging tatay ka na daw kuya?" malakas na agaran tanong ko dito kaya napatigil sa pag-uusap si Mother Superior at daddy.
“Oopps” Napatakip ako ng bibig at napangiti sa reaksyon ni kuya. Tila ito pa ang nagulat sa aming dalawa. Oh my gosh, what if hindi nya pala alam?
"Huh?" nalilitong tumingin ito sakin ito. Lumaki ang mga mata ko nang mapagtanto na hindi nya nga alam.
"Mga bata, may baby na si Kuya Valentine nyo!" masayang isinigaw ni Mother Superior na nagpatawa sakin at kay daddy. Naghiyawan at nagkaroon ng tuksuhan sa paligid. Napatawa ako lalo, ng makitang dahan-dahang tumingin si kuya Zayne kay Ivory na mabilis nang naglalakad paalis.
"Ivory!" sigaw nito kay bunso. Ngayon, ang kilalang seryoso at striktong si Doctor Valentine ay tumatakbong parang bata para lang habulin si Ivory. Nako, paniguradong luluhod nanaman si bunso sa asin mamaya kung hindi totoo ang balitang sinabi nya. Habang may malawak na ngiti sa mga labi, bumalik ako sa mga bata upang turuan na silang mag-arrange ng flowers.
“Insurgence and all forms of evil in a society doesn't describes her as a failure, but vividly shows a lack of love for one another.”― Michael Bassey JohnsonPagkatapos magdismissed ang huling klase ay agad kong inayos ang mga gamit ko. Sinagot ko ang tawag ni Ivory habang naglalakad papalabas ng classroom. (Hello ate, papahintay ka po ba? Punta lang muna ako sa hideout saglit)May tumapik sakin, napalingon ako at nakangiting kumaway sa mga classmate ko. Itinuro ko ang phone na nasa tenga ko, na tinanguan naman nila. Nagpatuloy na ko sa paglalakad habang kausap si Ivory.“Hindi na bunso. Pupunta pa naman ako sa office ni prof Gonzales. Magtext nalang ako pag magpapasundo na ako later.” (“Sure ka ba ate? Atsaka wala akong tiwala sa Gonzales nayan, magtext kana agad sakin after mo dyan okay?”) napangiti ako sa boses nitong nag-aalala. Ang pinakamamahal naming makulit na bunso. Bad boy man sya sa paningin ng iba pero para sakin, sya ang pinakamalambing. Syempre, mas malambing nga lang
“Rape is one of the most terrible crimes on earth and it happens every few minutes. The problem with groups who deal with rape is that they try to educate women about how to defend themselves. What really needs to be done is teaching men not to rape. Go to the source and start there.” - Kurt Cobain “manahimik ka!” nagagalit na sabi ng katulong at sinampal sa mukha ang bata. Nilagyan nya ng packing tape ang bibig nito. Ang batang lalaking na nasa tabi ng batang mukhang manika ay napakuyom ang kamay sa galit ng masaksihan iyon. Nagpupumiglas sya ngunit balewala lamang dahil sa mahigpit na tali na nakapalibot sa kanyang katawan.Naiiyak ang batang babae na nakatingin sa katulong, napaiwas sya ng mukha ng ambang sasampalin sya ulit, na hindi nangyari dahil bigla itong sipain ng kakambal nya. Napamaang ang katulong roon at sasabunutan nya sana ang batang lalaki bilang ganti ng mapatigil sya s amalakas na pagbukas ng pinto. “Master” natatakot na tawag nya sa lalaking dumating. Yumuko ang
"When you've lost someone precious and you can't turn back the time to save them, all you can do in the present is to confront it head on since everything occurs for a purpose.” – Miss A, Erity Nanginginig na ginamit ko ang towel na nakuha sa aparador. Madaling pinunasan ko ang aking hita na may agos ng dugo at kinuha ang bag ko na tinago nya rito. Tumingin ako cellphone. Gigil na kinagat ko ang pang-ibabang labi ng makitang basag na ito at ayaw gumana. I sobbed silently and look at the little girl who save me. I could see the pity on her eyes. I frustratedly brushed my hair and nod at her. Patakbong umalis kami sa kwarto pagkatapos nyang ilagay ang chain sa kamay ng lalaki. Nang makalabas ng mansion ay naplingon-lingon ako sa paligid. Hindi ako pamilyar sa lugar na ito. Ni hindi ko alam kung saan kami dumaan. Napansin ko ring walang ni isang tao sa paligid. Panong nangyari iyon? Ilang oras na ba ang nakakalipas simula ng nawalan ako ng malay? Napakagat ako ng labi. I really need
“Judge fairly and make sure no one suffers unjustly”- Seo Byung-Ju Investigator Hali Adral "Officer Daniels, I need you to gather your team in 5. We’re going to arrest Professor Gonzales. And you, Westlie, get the request warrant to the prosecutor's office. I need it immediately. " I said coldly as soon as I got inside the room. Tumango sakin si Westlie at lumabas na ng kwarto. While Officer Daniels grinned and wave his phone. That means, he already gathered them. Napahinga ako ng malalim at napahilot ng noo. I licked my bottom lip and crossed my arms. Tumitig ako sa babaeng nakaupo. Mayroon malaking salamin na nakadikit sa wall at konektado sa tabing kwarto, kung saan nakikita ko si Miss Folk mula sa kinaroroonan ko. She was resting her back on the chair with her eyes closed, and her delicate hands were on the table, tapping the surface with her fingers. “I was pregnant. I-I didn’t know. I was clueless about it. If I just know, hindi na dapat akong lumaban. He will not punch me
"Everybody has losses, it's unavoidable in life. Sharing our pain is very healing." - Isabel Allende A woman in the midst of 40’s raised her hand and as she took the oath of perjury in the witness stand. Nang matapos magsalita ang witness ng kabilang panig ay nagsimula nang magtanong ang attorney ni Professor Gonzales. “Miss Gelly Vergon, ang sabi mo kaya hindi nakapunta si Professor Gonzales sa meeting nila ni Miss Irishka Folk ay dahil inakala mong manganganak kana kaya tinawagan mo siya at kinailangan mo ang tulong nya. Tama ba?” “Opo” “Maari mo bang ikuwento samin ang nangyari?” Napataas ako ng kilay ng sandaling natigilan ang babae at umikot ang mga mata pero agad ito nang nakabawi at nagsalita. Napakuyom ako ng kamao nang marinig ang statement niya. “Friday po nang hapon, 4pm nang tinawagan ko po si Franco. Matalik na kaibigan po sya ng namatay kong asawa at matagal na po syang tumutulong sa aming pamilya. Dahil sa hindi inaasahang pagkirot ng tsyan ko, natakot ako na baka
"Our world is full of selfish and greedy people. They all have something to fight for, something to witness, and something to say. Indeed, we are conquered by the darkness, and the light we thought we possessed was blinding us to what is real. Open your eyes. Don't let ignorance be followed by regrets." – Miss A, Erity In just a month, my life turned upside down. Sometimes, I’m asking myself, what I have done wrong to experience this? To be stuck in pain, unable to move forward and see the light. They said good people, has the most tragic life because God wants them to be strong. That everything is just a challenge. I don’t wanna question him pero bakit kailangan may mamatay. Why does it have to be my baby? Ang baby ko na walang kamuwang-muwang sa karahasan ng mundong ito.Somehow, part of me feel glad because my angel wouldn’t experience this pain. The pain cause by selfish and greedy people. That he wouldn’t witness how the justice I thought would help me, is the one who stabbed me
"In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility." - Eleanor RooseveltLaw, people are bound to this word. It a system of rules that one nation needed to adhere. There are also individuals who serve under the law, a duty that oath to abide by the truth, but only by the truth. And I think that's the beauty of law, by serving its purpose to the world. But what if the justice was rotten? That the scale of the law was biased and manipulated? Can we blame the law for that? Or blame the people who has the power to control the law? I think if there is someone working under the law who stay true with their oath, not being blinded with greed, then maybe we can get the justice that we deserve. Getting my fact straight, there is a law of pressumption of innocence, meaning an accused must be presumed innocent until his guilt is established by proof beyond reasonable doubt. That is the r
“To deny the cry in my soul is to deny the beating in my heart” – Nikki RosenKinuha ko ang payong sa backseat ng kotse. Lumabas ako at binuksan ito. Dahan-dahang naglakad sa park kung saan una kaming nagkakilala. I look around and saw him waiting for me under the lamp post.Napahinga ako ng malalim at dumiretso papunta sa lalaki.“Nathan” I mumbled between the sound of the rain. I look at him and saw his eyes full of emotion.Nanginginig na napahigpit ako ng kapit sa handle ng payong habang nakatayo ilang metro mula sa kinatatayuan nya. I don’t want do this but I couldn’t lie to myself anymore. The moment it happened to me I couldn’t feel the love that I have for him. I didn’t seek his presence and comfort. And maybe it is because all I felt are grief for the one I've lost and indifference for I've become. “Babe” sambit nito at sinubukan lumapit pero humakbang ako paatras. Sinenyasan sya na wag lumapit. “I’m sorry if I didn’t let you fight with me. If I pushed you away, for not say
“Once you get over the first hill, there is always a new, higher one lurking, of course.” ~ Esa-Pekka SalonenMabilis na tumakbo ang sugatang lalaki sa kagubatan. Nang mapansing wala ng humahabol sa kanya. Marahan syang tumigil at hinihingal na napasandal sya sa likod ng puno. Hinubad nya ang kanyang jacket at pumunit siya ng tela sa laylayan ng kanyang tshirt upang balutan ang nagdudugong braso. "Arggh" pagpipigil nya ng sakit habang paulit-ulit na bumubuntong-hininga. Napatikom ang kanyang bibig ng marinig ang papalapit na mga yapak. Dali-dali niyang sinuot ang kanyang itim na jacket."Wag nyong hayaang makatakas ang traydor na yon!" Umaalingangaw ang galit na sigaw ng lalaki sa paligid at ang tunog ng kalaskas ng dahon na kanilang tinatapakan. Napakuyom ang kanyang kamao at mabilis na umalis sa kanyang pwesto. Tila ba'y siya ay nakikipaglaro sa dilim, ang kanyang mga yapak ay walang ingay at ang kanyang mga kilos ay napakagaan. Sumasabay sa malamig na simoy ng hangin ng papas
"Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end." – John LennonI woke up feeling lethargic. It's like theres an empty hole inside my chest and I don't know how to deal with it. Just like before, after that tragedy happened. I felt the same emptiness, like the energy is drained out of my body and I was tasting my own poison, my own karma. Dahan-dahan akong bumangon mula sa pagkakahiga at tamad na nagstretch ng katawan. Napatitig ako sa labas ng malaking bintana at napapikit na pinakiramdaman ang nakakapasong sinag ng araw. I heavily sighed and think about what happened last night. After I got home, uminom pa ko ng beer magisa at nagisip-isip. I'm wondering, what is he talking about? Is there something I need to know? Maybe this is not just about serving the justice. I'm not fool. For a short time, I haved known Investigator Adral and he is not the type of person to defend bad people. I was blinded for a while because of anger. But why push about the true kill
“It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.”― Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy Saglit na natigilan ako sa tinitignang mga papeles kasama na doon ang litrato ng isang lalaking napakapamilyar sa akin. Napahawak ako sa kaliwang kamay ko upang pigilan ang panginginig. I breathe in and out. Knowing that it was him, who once part of my beautiful fairy tale life before. Indeed, the pain may left for a while but as long as the scar is there. It was never gone. I have come to a decision in life to never go back to where I am before. I knew that it was but I also knew that in the moment, for me, it was necessary. I am desperate and hurt. So I did what I did. For the months I have runaway to my hometown, I experienced a beautiful life of healing and soul restoration. Not until now. A gorgeous who came to invade my life once again... Tumalim ang tingin
"I once dreamt of someone holding my hand until daylight, on a freshly vague page of my life." - Miss Erity They claimed that people will meet someone who is mysteriously connected to them at some point in their lives. The unknown force, breathing and whispering from your skin as if it were the largest portion of your soul. I had never believed that until I met one. Surprisingly, his eyes connect the gaps in between. However, it is frightening to consider that one person has the power to either heal or destroy you. That is something I will never, ever allow to happen to me. I'm no stranger to this kind of feeling, but this time it's unfathomably strong and scorching. All I could do was flee. Run as far away as possible to avoid being burned. But how can I? If the fire has its own mind and keeps on coming towards me "We meet again." nakangiti kong sambit sa kanya pagkalabas namin namin ng haunted house display dito sa carnival. Ang haunted house ay tila isang maliit na man
“Your soulmate will be the stranger you recognize.” — r.h. SinNapabalikwas ako ng bangon ng tila nahulog ako sa gulat dala ng aking panaginip. Napahilamos ako ng mukha ng magpatanto kung ano yung napanaginipan ko. I look at my phone and saw that he didn't reply on my message until now. Tumingin ako sa orasan at nakitang mahigit isang oras na ang nakakalipas. Sa pagod ay hindi ko na namalayan na nakaidlip pala ako kakahintay sa kanyang reply.I sigh. Nilinis ko ang pinagkainan ko at kinuha ang malate. Masyado pang maaga para matulog ako, pero tinatamad na ako kumilos. Umakyat ako sa taas kasama ang dalawang maleta at pabagsak na humiga ako sa kama. Nakatingala sa ceiling habang ang utak ko ay patuloy na gumagana. Until thoughts conquers my consciousness. It's been a while. I didn't how fast the time was until time, became the only hope I have. Totoo ngang hindi mo kayang diktahan ang tadhana mo. Sinubukan kong laruin ang tadhana ko at ng ibang tao, pero sa huli ipinakita nito sa aki
"The two most powerful warriors are patience and time." – Leo Tolstoy"I never expected you to be here. How are you... bella?"Nakabalik ako sa reyalidad ng maramdaman ang paglagay ng hat sa ulo ko. Napatingin ako sa labi niyang tipid na umangat ang gilid. His red lips looks so soft and glossy. It was like seeking my attention. Nakakatitig ako sa labi niya habang bumubuka ang mga iyon."There. You should secure your things Bella" Umayos ako ng tayo at umiwas ng tingin nang lumayo ang lalaki sa akin. He cleared his throat and chuckles with his low husky voice. "What are----"I hissed in pain when someone pushed me at my back. Tumama ang noo ko sa dibdib ni Hali at pakiramdam ko nauntog ako sa pader kaya naman hinimas ko ang parteng nasaktan. "Careful! May nababangga kayo" sigaw ni Hali gamit ang malalim niyang boses bago bumaling sakin. Hali leaned over and whispered in my ear "Are you okay?"I was about to answer but before I could even open my mouth, someone stumbled beside us b
“Time is free, but it’s priceless. You can’t own it, but you can use it. You can’t keep it, but you can spend it. Once you’ve lost it, you can never get it back.” — Harvey MacKay"Hello... is anyone here?""Can someone hear me?"What happened? Can someone know how to turn back time? Can someone save me from drowning in this oblivion? I couldn't get up. I couldn't speak. I couldn't move forward. I don't know what to do. Can someone hear my thoughts? Can someone wake me up from this eternal damnation?"Bella," I heard his faint whisper, and when that voice reverberated. I felt my body come out of paralysis. I remember the only person who called me that. So I continued to walk and walk... till my knees wobbled and I got exhausted. Where are you? I couldn't see you. I couldn't find you. There is no direction. I couldn't even get a glimpse of light. I'm completely blind. Is this only a bad dream?Please wake me up.... I don't know where I am. Last time I remember is going out of the room w
"Confession is always a weakness. The grave soul keeps its own secrets, and takes its own punishment in silence." - Dorothy DixTatlong araw....Tatlong araw akong nilagnat nung mga panahong iyon. Lumipas na ang dalawang buwan. Hindi ako makapaniwalang ganoon katagal na akong nagstay dito. Hanggang ngayon naiisip ko parin kung imahinasyon nga lang ba ang boses na iyon o totoong may kausap si Shin that time, pero ang tanong na nagpapagulo sa aking isipan ay kung sino? Iyon ang ipinagtataka ko. Bukod sa Doctor at mga inmates na devoted sa kanya ay wala na akong kilalang close pa niya at sigurado along hindi sila iyon. Kung paano ko nasabi? Dahil walang kahit sinong pwedeng lumabas na inmates ng ganung oras at malamang hindi siya si Doctor Hunter dahil considering from what the man said, he is his brother. Hindi kaya... siya yung misteryosong lalaki na tumawag sakin last time ng nakipag-away si Shin? Simula kasi noon ay hindi ko na siya nakita pa. Hindi ko nalang inisip dahil kung tutuu
“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” -Nelson MandelaHindi ko maintindihan. Bakit kay dali nalang gumawa ng masama kaysa maging mabuti? Bakit kay dali na lang magalit kaysa magpatawad? At bakit tila naging natural na lamang sa atin na gumanti kapag tayo ay naagrabyado o nasasaktan? Isa ako sa mga iyon. Minsan iniisip ko kung kahinaan ba ang ugaling iyon, dahil kung tutuusin wala ni isang magandang naidulot ito sa buhay natin. Kapag nagalit ka dahil may nagawang masama ang kapwa mo, magagalit din naman sila at kapag sinubukan mo namang gumawa ng kabutihan despite its difficulty, it will not be appreciated. Sometimes, people may see it as fake. Nakakatawa lang na ang tao ay may pare-parehas na ugaling hindi nila minsan namamalayan at magawang bitawan kung sakaling maging aware man. Bakit? Dahil lahat tayo gusto ng mas madali. Madaling magalit. Madaling gumanti. Madaling maging masama pero mahirap maging mabuti, magpatawad ng paulit-