The phone was off.
So I am left here with nothing but my thoughts and an evil that is growing inside. I have tried for the past several hours to let go of what is haunting me, but every time I think of him, I fall apart. The edges of my restraint have snapped, and I have stopped thinking straight almost an hour ago.
An hour ago, I decided, what the fuck, I am going to get drunk.
So it is with a bottle of cheap whiskey that I find myself sitting in complete darkness. A darkness that is surrounding me with a suffocating grip on my chest. My only aim now is to numb the pain that has consumed every fiber in my broken body.
But it is not working.
I am busy going fucking crazy.
Should I continue on my path of self-destruction, I am going to come down in one hell of a spectacular way. Crash and burn that is what Lexi Rose is famous for, well, only si
...Lucas POV...They say that the future is a blank sheet of paper, and we are the ones that draw the lines on it, but sometimes our hand is held, and the lines we draw aren't the lines we wanted.That is life, isn't it? A long series of what-if's that lead from one moment to the next, time never pausing for you to catch your breath, to make sense of the cards that have been handed to you. And all you can do is play your cards and hope for the best.Well, I am not a fucking poker player.But, ya…Life is also a collection of moments, some good and some bad; they ultimately form the puzzle of your life. There is someone who has stood in the same dark place, that the very same puzzle as you. It's okay not to be okay sometimes. Sometimes, it's normal, healthy, and necessary to feel defeated, so you know what it's like to rise another time.
…Lucas POV…The drive to the Hospital is near to torture as I feel torn away from Lexi for each ticking second too long. The only thought that consumed me as I sat there in silence, trying my best not to show the tears that wanted to burn with pain down cheeks that had gone pale and near damn cold, the only single thing that ran through my mind is that all of this is my fault.If I were not fucking cheating when I was supposed to be with her, then none of this would have happened. I will wallow in my own misery rightfully deserved if anything has to happen to her.So here I am, I am standing in a godforsaken waiting room. With each second that the clock ticks to a minute, there is a small piece of me that is slowly dying.The hardest thing in life is having patience. They say the longer something takes, the better the outcome. Well, I say it i
Sitting here in the darkness, there is a little piece of me that is slowly dying. I have never felt such a connection with a woman before; I cannot bear to be away from her for one second. Yes, I have had my share of women, but none of them comes close in comparison to Lexi.As long as I hear that machine beep, I know that there is still hope for us. When she opens her eyes, I know that the first thing that I shall do is go down on my knees and beg her forgiveness. After that, I will open my heart and soul to her; I will express the love that I feel in my heart for her.I know; there is that absolute certainty that she shall soon return from where she is. So I take her soft hand into mine and gently squeeze her palm. There is a smile that grows at the corner of my lips; the comfort of her touch leaves tingles on my skin.Then from nowhere, I find my hand wandering to her lips, and I do what I have been craving to do so, I touch them. I run my thumb across them.
…Lucas POV…It has been two days…The longest two days of my fucking life!I have been sitting at her bedside for each ticking moment, praying that she would open those big brown eyes but nothing…Nothing has happened.The swelling has not gone down, and the Doctor is starting to hover around like a fucking fly. I know that he is nervous and far beyond scared to tell me of his concerns out of fear that I might just shoot him. Well, the man will be damn right, for if he does not do anything soon, I am going to run out of patience.And running out of patience is these nurses that are beyond fed up with me ordering them around. So with much convincing from Colton, I have stood from my chair very reluctantly with the purpose of leaving Lexi’s side for what is going to be one agonizing night. After what was a half
…Lucas POV…In less than an inch of a second, Colton rushes over to me and stops me from entering the room. There are what seems to be one too many Doctors and a nurse standing around her bed. The sight pierces my eyes like the sting of a sharp knife, and in an instant, my knees give in, and I topple to the floor with a loud thud.Colton catches me just as my head is about to crash against the wall behind me, “Fuck, Lucas!” He growls as he lifts a body that does not want to move. “Don’t you also go…”I do not give him one second to finish that sentence, “Is she…?” The words cannot leave my mouth; I am too damn scared that it will become real if I say the words. So it is with pleading eyes that are starting to puddle with nothing but tears that I look at
Right now, life is uncertain.Yes, I know who I am, but for the last six years, I do not know where I have been. It is not only terrifying, but at the very same time, it is exhilarating to know that perhaps I can start a new life for my old one might have been really shitty.Though something tells me that the twenty-seven version of me is exactly the person I wanted to be for as it stands now, I am still firmly under the belief that I am still stuck in that hole where I have been buried under for years now.But I have come to a sense of acceptance over the past few days that life is what it is, and it will not be sunshine every day, so we will take this as it comes.And come, well, that is this Lucas that will be taking me home today. Now I have been told that I live with Savanah and that I have been for a few years now. Well, that is something that I canno
It is Lucas that is there to catch me as I am about to crumble to the floor. With what seems to be almost all the strength that I have left in me, I pull tight onto his shirt as my body shudders while the tears come rolling down my cheeks.From underneath his breath, I hear him mumble something like, “I lo...” Nah, I think my mind is just deceiving me, for my heart is breaking. Of course, I will want protection from the man that I know I can count on in my life.And it is this man that pulls me back and sits me down next to him on the edge of the bed. There is something about being so close to him that sends a rush of adrenaline racing through my veins. It feels as if I am floating on top of the world whenever I am in his presence.This is going to be a problem for me.So as I am just about to stand up from the bed, he pulls me back, and much to
I am watching a very nervous Lucas staring at me with eyes begging me to change my mind, but the man only drops his shoulders as he sees that I am not going to back down for one minute. Am I making a rather rash decision in the nick of time?Fuck yes!If Lucas did not stop me earlier on, he would be naked in my bed now. I can still not shake this incredible attraction that I feel towards him. But I will need to accept that nothing ever happened between him and me and that it will not happen either this time around.So with very reluctant steps, I follow Lucas to his car. Now, if you think that a woman can sway her hips with absolute seductive torture from side to side, well fuck, you have not seen Lucas Lucero and his goddamn fine piece of ass.He has just turned up that heat again.These are going to be the longest days of my life.Let us hop
...Lucas POV...The day has finally arrived.Today the babies are born.Lexi is completely petrified, pacing the room as she is trying to get into her hospital gown. She has been going to see this doctor, but to me, it does not seem that there is any approvement. Now, I have asked her and the doctor what is going on, but neither of them wants to tell me. And as for Tina, Lexi has not told her either.Now she is here working herself up, and believe me; I ain't the one telling a pregnant woman that is about to give birth to calm down. Well, not that she would listen because what I say really does not count, for she does keep on reminding me that we have separated. She does not want to understand my perspective, and I don't know what is wrong with her. At this rate, it is not helping us both.So once she has put on that godawful hospital gown, the nurses come to push her bed through to the operating theatre. Not once does she hold my hand as we move t
...Lexi POV...The things you go through now, the heartache and the pain, the smiles and the laughter, prepares you for your fate, for your destiny. All the if's, the why's, the will's and want's, brings you what you ask for. So when you ask for something, make sure to be clear, or you may land with something you asked for but did not really want. If you the lucky few, you will get what you asked for but receive a whole lot more, a whole lot that you did not expect but that you realize you actually wanted.Never did I know what love is, let alone being in love. I never thought anyone would ever make me smile, laugh and capture my heart. Never did I think I will fall in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time. Whether it was fate or karma, love found me, and I found love.My journey has come far; at times, I did not understand it, and at times it was really hard. My love was questioned, and my patience tested. I have learned that people a
…Lexi POV…We have been planning for this for almost a day; I have been waiting for it just a slight bit longer. This is the day that dreams are made of. It should be the happiest day of my life.I have dressed for the part, a classic white princess dress with a modern twist, a beaded lace bodice with a thin beaded belt, a dreamy and voluminous tulle skirt that gorgeously flares out underneath. My porcelain skin is composed to perfection, and my hair is tucked neatly into place. And to finish off, a pair of stilettos that hug my feet and glimmers as it shines.This is my wedding day.…Lucas POV…This is it; I stare at myself in the full-length mirror. I am dressed to perfection in a black tux with a white designer collar shirt. It is silky to the touch and just as easy on the skin. This feels right; this is what I want to be.We have been preparing for this moment; this is the hour; this is the minute my life will
…Lucas POV…I am standing in utmost patience, waiting for her to give me the answer that I want to hear. But that little shy smile says it all; she is going to tease me and drag it until I am nearly about to burst out in anticipation. I know she will say yes, but I want so desperately for her to say it. I guess she wants to hear me beg for it."Lexi, what do you say?""Mmm, I need some time to think.""If you take any longer, then your head is going to explode.""You know what else is going to explode?" she asks me as she nips on her bottom lip.From outside the door, I hear Savanah's voice loud and clear, "Lexi, can you say yes already. I am not getting any younger."I watch as she reaches her hand to me, and I know for certain, "Yes, Lucas, yes."The moment those words escape her lips, Savanah opens the door for us. With a very satisfied look on her face, she pulls us both in for a hug.For one moment the
...Lexi POV...I look at Lucas with squinted eyes, trying to show him how displeased I am to be stuck in this damn broom closet with him. As he looks back at me, it is hard to figure out if he is finding this somewhat amusing or if he is just as annoyed as I am. Just as he is about to get that cocky smile, I snap at him."Is this just not fantastic!""Oh, believe me, I cannot think of spending my day in a better way.""What does that mean?""I don't want to be stuck in a closet with you.""What is wrong with me?"He dares to look me up and down; he studies my body too long to be comfortable with. We have been intimately close so many times; why does this feel somewhat different. It is as if he is judging by the mere look in his eye, which seems to be very hard to read; I have no idea what he is thinking."Well, where do I even start?" he says with eyes so cold. His words knock my heart back hard; how can he be so cr
...Savanah's POV...These two are driving me to insanity. They are stubborn; they plain well do not want to listen. The one thinks the other is better off without the other; all clarity in their heads have gone out the door.Something has to be done.I decide to text him first."Lucas, it is time this bullshit stops. Fair if you don't want to speak to Lexi."Not even a minute later, he phones."Hey, Savanah.""Don't you hey Savanah me.""Where the hell have you been?""I am okay; I have been at a friend's place.""Don't bullshit me; you don't have friends.""I guess you are pretty mad at me?""Whatever gives you that bullshit idea?"“You have used the word bullshit three times already; I don't think I have ever heard you say it before."He is damn right that I have not said it before, but I am beyond my patience with these two."If you two are not going to act like grown-up
…Lucas POV… I am not sure how to take Lexi, she just made love to me. She is furious with me, I do not understand why, why would she make love to me? There is a different kind of look in her eyes. She has been mad at me before and not wanted to come near me at all. Yet, now, she craved to be around me more than anything else. I do not understand if she is still upset, or are we just leaving this unsaid. Well, I have yet spoken but too soon. What does she mean by what is going to happen? The only thing we need now is to work through this and move forward from here. But I do not believe that this will be that easy. So it is with a deep sorrow that she reflects those blue eyes back into mine. The pain is clear, the pain is there, I am foolish to think any other way. And so I need to prepare myself for the worst. "Lucas, I don't know if I can forgive you. I mean of all the things that you have done wrong and hidden away from me, I do not think that I can
…Lucas POV…“What do you mean that we are not really friends?” I watch as the anger build on Lexi’s face as her voice travels to every corner of the room.With that, I take a very much furious Lexi to the white leather couch. She is quite shaken up so I shall not mention anything about anything to her at the moment. And while I sit her down, I turn to make my leave."Please stay," she asks with words that are strained. I can see the pain in her beautiful blue eyes and I need to be convinced if I should be anywhere else but here.So I sit down next to her and pull her close into my arms. No matter what wrong that I have done, there is no other place I would rather be than here.I need to stop for one moment and take a step back, for beyond all the craziness that fill our lives, I need to allow myself to remember what drives me, and it is Lexi. What makes this all worthwhile is the beauty that I hold in my arms. Should
I have not seen Lucas for two days; I am hoping it is because he is busy at the club and not that he is avoiding me. I do not know how I ever thought we could have sex and go back to being friends. I hate being rejected this way, and for some reason, especially by him.Was I just another knot in his string?I am starting to doubt if he wanted me the way I thought he did. In fact, I do not know which way he truly wanted me to start with. I am starting to doubt that we were really such good friends as he said that we are. I honestly think he will not want me again now that he has gotten what he has desired for so long.But it is my own fucking fault!So why am I here sitting and feeling sorry for myself?I guess it is just hard to move back to where we were before the mind-blowing sex. Which was supposed to have been only once, but then he had to take