As my entire world comes crashing down in one ball of fire, I make my way bursting through the crowds that seem to have only but grown in the past five minutes. It feels like I am suffocating; I am slowly choking on the very breath that is supposed to keep me alive.
I am dying inside, and god, it fucking hurts.
This time it hurts even more than the first.
Why did I get close to Lucas again, I let my guard down for only one second, and he managed to drag me into those hazel eyes. He knows that they drive my knees to weakness. Did he set to do this from the start, or did he fall back in love with me too?
Whichever way, I am drowning in a pool of my own tears that is making their way down cheeks that are still burning from the rage that took over my body only but moments ago. I have never lost it like that before, I don’t know what the fuck happened, but
…Lucas POV…Driving home in dead silence with the rain pounding down on the car, my thoughts are taken back to what happened earlier tonight. Yes, I am a fucking fool for treating Lexi the way I did, not only now but all those years ago. I can make up any excuse no matter how goddamn lame; it will still not make up for the way I broke her heart.I can honestly say that at this very present moment, I feel what is probably only a glimpse of what she felt. My heart is being sliced open and ripped to shreds. The pain is suffocating; it squeezes every breath of air from my lungs. There is nothing else I want to do now but cry. Lucas Lucero, even as a young boy, has never shed a tear in his entire life.It is taking such a gorgeous creature as Lexi Rose to bring him down. But it is not truly a complete undoing, for I can say for certain that the love I fee
By now, the hurt in his heart must be raging.As for the hurt in my heart, it is still burning out of control. I have not for one second let go of how angry I am at him. It has consumed every single fiber in me, and it still has not let go. I am growing closer and closer to the edge, and god, when I get there, I am going to crash and burn.My emotions are out of sync, and my mind is playing tricks on me. I have surrendered control over my demons the moment I set my foot in that club, and it still has a firm grip on me. If I don’t find myself between all the darkness soon, then I fear that I am going to be lost.And lost is what I feel. I will be very honest with myself; I am not as happy as I thought I would be when I finally bring Lucas Lucero down. My emotions are mixed. There are moments when I feel guilt and then
The phone was off.So I am left here with nothing but my thoughts and an evil that is growing inside. I have tried for the past several hours to let go of what is haunting me, but every time I think of him, I fall apart. The edges of my restraint have snapped, and I have stopped thinking straight almost an hour ago.An hour ago, I decided, what the fuck, I am going to get drunk.So it is with a bottle of cheap whiskey that I find myself sitting in complete darkness. A darkness that is surrounding me with a suffocating grip on my chest. My only aim now is to numb the pain that has consumed every fiber in my broken body.But it is not working.I am busy going fucking crazy.Should I continue on my path of self-destruction, I am going to come down in one hell of a spectacular way. Crash and burn that is what Lexi Rose is famous for, well, only si
...Lucas POV...They say that the future is a blank sheet of paper, and we are the ones that draw the lines on it, but sometimes our hand is held, and the lines we draw aren't the lines we wanted.That is life, isn't it? A long series of what-if's that lead from one moment to the next, time never pausing for you to catch your breath, to make sense of the cards that have been handed to you. And all you can do is play your cards and hope for the best.Well, I am not a fucking poker player.But, ya…Life is also a collection of moments, some good and some bad; they ultimately form the puzzle of your life. There is someone who has stood in the same dark place, that the very same puzzle as you. It's okay not to be okay sometimes. Sometimes, it's normal, healthy, and necessary to feel defeated, so you know what it's like to rise another time.
…Lucas POV…The drive to the Hospital is near to torture as I feel torn away from Lexi for each ticking second too long. The only thought that consumed me as I sat there in silence, trying my best not to show the tears that wanted to burn with pain down cheeks that had gone pale and near damn cold, the only single thing that ran through my mind is that all of this is my fault.If I were not fucking cheating when I was supposed to be with her, then none of this would have happened. I will wallow in my own misery rightfully deserved if anything has to happen to her.So here I am, I am standing in a godforsaken waiting room. With each second that the clock ticks to a minute, there is a small piece of me that is slowly dying.The hardest thing in life is having patience. They say the longer something takes, the better the outcome. Well, I say it i
Sitting here in the darkness, there is a little piece of me that is slowly dying. I have never felt such a connection with a woman before; I cannot bear to be away from her for one second. Yes, I have had my share of women, but none of them comes close in comparison to Lexi.As long as I hear that machine beep, I know that there is still hope for us. When she opens her eyes, I know that the first thing that I shall do is go down on my knees and beg her forgiveness. After that, I will open my heart and soul to her; I will express the love that I feel in my heart for her.I know; there is that absolute certainty that she shall soon return from where she is. So I take her soft hand into mine and gently squeeze her palm. There is a smile that grows at the corner of my lips; the comfort of her touch leaves tingles on my skin.Then from nowhere, I find my hand wandering to her lips, and I do what I have been craving to do so, I touch them. I run my thumb across them.
…Lucas POV…It has been two days…The longest two days of my fucking life!I have been sitting at her bedside for each ticking moment, praying that she would open those big brown eyes but nothing…Nothing has happened.The swelling has not gone down, and the Doctor is starting to hover around like a fucking fly. I know that he is nervous and far beyond scared to tell me of his concerns out of fear that I might just shoot him. Well, the man will be damn right, for if he does not do anything soon, I am going to run out of patience.And running out of patience is these nurses that are beyond fed up with me ordering them around. So with much convincing from Colton, I have stood from my chair very reluctantly with the purpose of leaving Lexi’s side for what is going to be one agonizing night. After what was a half
…Lucas POV…In less than an inch of a second, Colton rushes over to me and stops me from entering the room. There are what seems to be one too many Doctors and a nurse standing around her bed. The sight pierces my eyes like the sting of a sharp knife, and in an instant, my knees give in, and I topple to the floor with a loud thud.Colton catches me just as my head is about to crash against the wall behind me, “Fuck, Lucas!” He growls as he lifts a body that does not want to move. “Don’t you also go…”I do not give him one second to finish that sentence, “Is she…?” The words cannot leave my mouth; I am too damn scared that it will become real if I say the words. So it is with pleading eyes that are starting to puddle with nothing but tears that I look at