While the wolves walk forward with their backs to me as I stand at the gates alone, Cronus slowly turns back meeting my gaze with his lips tilting into a smile. I cannot help but feel that this is some sort of a new beginning.
My sleep is taken over by thoughts of Cronus. Who is that male and what kind of relationship does he have with Deimos and Theia? And why do I keep feeling an urge to ask him plenty of questions?
Waking up the next day morning heading to the packhouse for breakfast I sit next to Deimos without acknowledging him rather glancing around searching for that male, searching for Cronus. Looking to the end of the dining table I meet eyes with Cronus. He was already looking at me. I do not understand why but I feel an urge to be closer to him, my wolf is trying to tell me something but I cannot understand.
"Pulling a new friend into your life is a form of balance. It's a ripple in the system that is so beautiful anew spirit, new energy. Both are souls combined. When two people complement each other, it is a valuable commodity to the flow of the world. A chain of events that bring happiness to more than just.... new friends. By Sara Sisson."As I read these words aloud all I can think of is Cronus. We have grown quite close over the past few days. I tend to be shy and cautious when I meet new people but with Cronus, I feel different. Different in a good way. I feel like I can be myself with him and that no matter what I do or say he wouldn't hold it against me. While Deimos brings out the strength in me, Cronus brings out the child in me. The pup who is always curious and the pup who just wants a shoulder to lean on.
Cronus chuckles behind me while Deimos looks at me fondly. Fondly? What? "Looks like our Luna is enjoying this trip," Cronus says with a chuckle. As the three walks forward leaving me behind to take my time and enjoy, something grabs my attention. It is a simple necklace with a baby pink stone. I don't know what it is but I like it. I don't notice that I am staring at it for a long time until the seller calls out to me, she is quite an old female. "Do you want it?" She asks me. "Yes, but I don't know why I feel scared to buy it. I feel I am not yet ready to own it yet" I whisper to her. The necklace seems to call out to me. But before she could reply to me Cronus calls and I leave leaving that necklace one final longing look. Perhaps another time.
Today's world is different, when we hurt each other instead of talking it out and healing ourselves we completely ignore the other for nothing else but just to gain their attention. Just for them to look at you, hoping that at night they would lay awake on their beds, thoughts of you consuming them, that at least somehow you could be with them, even though it's just in their thoughts. This is the relationship Deimos and I possess right now. I haven't seen nor spoken to Deimos since our last argument. My body and mind tired, my hope fragile and my soul tearing. If he speaks or does anything hurtful I will definitely break. And even thinking about it makes me gag. I fought through everything for nothing. What I thought would be my strength turned out to be my biggest weakness and downfall. To what I thought would be my prize for my rein turned out to be my hindrance.
I feel the heat of Deimos's gaze upon me yet I make no move to look at him. I don't want to give him that satisfaction. As time passes by Cronus tries his hardest to help me learn and though I am quite a fast learner I cannot seem to get a hang of it until Cronus smiles with a huff walking up behind me. Holding the arrow in front of me pressing his front to my back he whispers into my ears. "Okay, now I want you to calm your breathing and focus the pupil of your eye on the circle, don't think don't focus on anything else than that circle. Think that the circle is running from you and you want it so bad but you need to catch it. When the feeling of desperation overcomes you, shoot." Cronus tries to make it easier for me. Closing my eyes taking a deep breath in I picture Deimos in my
Change. Can people change in a small period of time? Can they suddenly turn from ice cold to a soothing warm? To slowly begin to grow your hope like a plant, nurturing and protecting it with care. That's what Deimos seems to be doing to me these days. Like something made him see or change his mind. His eyes follow me everywhere, hands keep reaching for a feel of my skin and nose sniffing for a whiff of my scent. He seems... feels different. Though being an Alpha needs him to be present always in everyday affairs he does his best to at least see me once a day. How can someone go from not wanting to be in my sight for a minute to always searching for me? To always aching to be by my side? However, I haven't been able to see him these days as he seems to be busy preparing for the shindig. I didn't understand the meaning behind it until I
Tiring isn't even the word to define it, it drains me of all my energy. While Cronus sits on the sofa outside the dressing room I contemplate whether to show him the gown I have on. It's quite a simple evening gown but with a slit crawling up my leg. Simple but elegant. As I open the curtains, giving Cronus the view of me. His eyes come up slowly from the book he was reading and widen to the sight of me, his hands gripping the book harder as they shake. While the other wolves look at us in awe Cronus walks towards me in slow steps walking around me in circles looking at every part. Stopping in front of me looking deep into my eyes, putting a strand of hair behind my ears. He tells me, "You look beautiful Luna." My eyes widen to his movement and the look he possesses in his eyes, I don't understand why he looks at me this way... a way
I keep watching him as he fixes his cuffs and brushes through his hair to fix strands that do not stay. I keep watching until his eyes fall on me. His eyes widen, and pupils turn to an instant black to the presence of his wolf. He, no... they like what they see. He makes no move towards me and I do the same. We just appreciate each other looking at the other slowly from top to bottom, thinking of the things we could do to each other. I keep standing there admiring until I catch the sound of his voice. "Come." He tells me. One word... one word is all it takes for me to go rushing down the stairs until our chests meet. We look at each other, pupils dilating biting lips and mouth salivating. I grow in need. I want his hands on my body, I want his lips on my neck, I want to touch him, I want to possess him. My wants are interrupted with D
Deimos's words to Cronus last night surprised me but they also hurt me. A mate would feel utmost happiness when she hears those words from her mate's lips and I should too as the Deimos who possesses walls around his heart claimed me as his to Cronus. But every time he nurtures my hope he crushes it and kills it and I was scared to feel happy. I didn't talk to him after the ball I ran to the comfort of my room before he could catch me before he could hold me in those arms that provide false warmth. I haven't seen him from daylight today, I don't want to see him. I don't want to hear his fake excuses that possess neither meaning nor truth to them. He chose her right in front of me, even when he could see the desperation brimming within my eyes. And so I wish to choose something or even someone else, I wish to stop fighting for him. I wish to fly to a place that holds peace anywhere but h
It was not an effortless decision for it would come with a price. And that price delayed my path of action. I knew the pack would go against me and I knew I would have to execute numerous of my warriors and that fact chained me once more.It felt as though I was spitting on father's grave, I was destroying everything he trained me growing up. I wondered if he saw me as shameful, I wondered if he deemed me as his male no more for if he were alive my father would have reprimanded my choices.That permanent state of hell I was in, that confusion I abhorred it. I was stuck I could not move, annihilating your wolves as an Alpha meant the moon would sentence me for it, she would have to take something from me and I sweated it would be Lumina or Kal.But observing my female living in discomfort each day because of my discretions, I could not follow it anymore. I could not withstand it so I stood on that stage and I declared the end of the tradition hoping it would pave
Whilst the females moved an unconscious Lumina to the other room, Elriam was generous to place the pup in my trembling awaiting hands. It was a male, yet there was no happiness from my side mere neutralness for I had lost someone dear to me. It was a day of birth and death, birth of my male the death of me.The reason I had feared to love her had come to stand haughtily in my reality, Lumina wanted to leave me. She spewed heartless words to my face of how I disgusted her, of how she rebuked our bond that we were no more as one.She said she could live without me with such ease as I tensed my jaw and took her strikes for I earned it. I deserved each blow of her whip as it peeled the skin off my bones.Then she changed. She became a female I could not recognize, our relationship had blazed to ashes there was nothing left between us. She left a trail behind with torn pieces of herself that I often secretly bent to pick up and lay in my treasure box.
But that was no choice to me, it seemed as though I was once more standing on that bridge. Life or death. I wanted to choose death, I would have rather fallen than betray either of them.The tradition of the chosen did not seem to hinder me even after I met Lumina for I had thought I would never fall in love with her. Yet I did I was in love with her unconditionally, she stood first in line among my every other duty. She was my priority in many ways.How could I touch another female other than Lumina? The image of it had me gag as it left a foul taste on my tongue. I was not that kind of a male, I promised to be loyal to her until the moon called for me.I was lost for I did not know much of the laws of the tradition so I requested Ragon to aid me to attain loopholes or ways I can tiptoe around it without harming any wolf. It was a tradition that had run smoothly in our pack for generations with no Alpha ever going against it and I did not want to be th
I could not think, I could not feel. A sudden sense of coldness lured me into its cave. I knew if I stayed I would hurt her with the vengeance of my words so I chose to abandon her in that aloof house until the turmoil of my heart and mind rested.Yet when I had returned I was greeted with something I did not wait for, she leapt into my arms caressing flesh pecking me all over my face showing her profound affection for me as she begged for me to forgive her. And I could not fight her, how could I have when she glanced at me that way?So I asked her to do something for me that I found arduous to do. To bare her soul to me and she had accepted with no reluctance. She taught me that I must soar above my walls and unveil myself to her eyes as well and I guaranteed her that I would with time.After a while, Lumina got sick fatally sick and I fretted the pill had done something to her. I often conversed with Giovanni's healer every night after I put my female to sleep
The goddess took her time with me as she kept me caged up for a while and on her chosen day she surprisingly tossed me back to my physical being as though she found no use to bother with me anymore.I do not remember distinctly the events that unfolded after I had awoken, it was all a haze of sounds, scents and movements. But what I do recall was the way the eyes of my female lightened as she examined me. She looked as though I had breathed life back into her and I was perplexed. I was the one who had been in a coma yet why did my moon blessed resemble a corpse as well?Was she not eating, was she not sleeping? Judgment took its time to settle within me. Lumina was not living, she was merely existing and that too not for her sake but mine hoping that I would wake up and embrace her one day. With everything Ragon had revealed to me of her lifeless days, my heart burned with tribulation.My fault, I was once more to blame for giving her that experience. Testifying
She wanted to hasten everything and we stood on thin ice once more, snapping our teeth at each other with a wave of outrage. She was always expecting me to understand her but she never once returned that from her side. What about what I wanted? I was not ready to be a father for I was only learning how to be a moral mate to her.But the way she looked at me it was as though it had been what she had yearned for all her life. To have a family of her own, who was I to deny that? Was it not my duty to her, to give her that life?I did not think I would be a good father, I did not want to raise my pup as my father bred me. I was worried I would end being the same as him. I wanted time before I could speak with her on the topic of having pups but she thought I was unconditionally against the idea.It was not true, I too wanted to see my female's belly swollen with my pup snoring within. I too did not have a family growing up and I despairingly needed laughter and joy
I knew the moon would condemn me for the way I treated her gift. I did not know whom to blame, Lumina or myself? Did I need to be more patient with her? Did I need to be more understanding?That day as I showered with a dejected heart, I had given up a little on us. I felt we were lying in a hopeless pit we were both equal predators always at war with the other. I did not consider we could ever be happy with each other and I was prepared to move to the other wing of the castle and isolate myself from Lumina for a while.I thought it would be for the best, I would not be able to hurt her and she would not be able to wound me either. I wanted to end our sprouting relationship for her sake mostly, she would be happier without me. Without the cruelness of our bond, we could have lived in the pack together but we would have not been in a loving relationship.As I departed the bathroom's heat, she sat on that bed whilst she waited patiently for me. I was astounded for
I entered Cronus's lands with a calmness which I owned a lot of yet with her fit of aggression towards me she stripped it all apart, she tested me with every breath she took. Master of control? No, when it came to her I was a master of nothing.Then I assumed her truth, she did not wish to return for she was in love with Cronus. It had to be the only reason, my canines ached to mark her then and there and drag her outside by her neck exhibiting to every wolf she was mine. I wanted to do it the hard away be the pitiless vicious beast I was.Then Lumina wailed and my being shook, her tears I was powerless to behold anymore. I did not wish to hurt her further than I already had. When she stuttered the truth of her feelings to me of how it had always been me and shall remain so forevermore I strived to hide my surging smile. She chose me and that was all that mattered.And for the first time in a very long time, I sincerely apologized and freed my soul a li
The second my lips brushed softly against hers, I knew it. She would be the death of me and what astonished me was I deemed I would willingly die for her if that was what she wanted. She drove me wild and frantic streaming behind her like a panting male in a rut.Yet that very same night as Cronus pressed her against that wall and vocalised of the feelings he possessed for my female the beast in me mounted, he destroyed the barriers and clawed his way up to make his claim and I failed to stop him.I detested the vile sight of Cronu's fingers on her flesh, the closeness of their lips. She was mine and mine alone, every part of her belonged to me. If she had run away from my heat I would have hunted her, arrested her and barred her in my room for weeks fucking her with a savagery until she squealed the truth of whom her male was.But from that event stemmed insecurity, I grew to become anxious that she would leave me. My confidence in myself diminished with each r