Why Thank You

I woke up early in the morning and offered Fajjar. 

Let me get you straight I'm not punctual in Namaz.I don't know but that regularity I never achieved.

Is it me or my abnormal life I don't know.But I came to know that I offer prayer when I want to seek peace and once I get it, I stop praying.

I know its bad,Ofcourse I know but that pathetic I am.

I always thought of becoming punctual but my light again fades and mingles with darkness

There's darkness still inside me and I don't know I will ever get rid of it because it is a part of my soul.

You could protect yourself from others but how could you protect yourself from you.

What If danger lies inside you!!

I haven't found a way to conquer my that part.

My faith is still uncomplete.And I knew it but I haven't find my light not yet.

I don't know a part of me still wants to just mess in darkness and wrongness and dwell in nothingness.

A part of me is too stubborn to walk on right path.

So fajjar prayer soothes my depressions and uncurls my tightened curves.

It releases my stiffening muscles and smoothens my arching spine.

I think at that time connection between you and Allah is really strong because you're unbounded to the bounds of world and its inhabitants.

After that I recited Surah Yaseen. 

It is the "Heart Of Quran" 

I think it is because it captures the whole sea in few words.

The basics of Imaan are encarved in it.I really feel my heartbeat with every single word.Yes, I feel the sensation tingling from my finger placed on Quran towards my whole body consuming my heart.

I swear it is that intense.

You know where goosebumps arose when It states:

"Did I not ordain for you, O Children of Adam, that you should not worship Shaitan (Satan). Verily, he is a plain enemy to you."

When it stripped the volatility and insanity of human being

"Does not man see that We have created him from Nutfah (mixed male and female discharge semen drops). Yet behold! He (stands forth) as an open opponent."

And then there is ungratefulness and selfishness of man embedded in his body and soul......

"Do they not see that We have created for them of what Our Hands have created, the cattle, so that they are their owners."

I don't know why people are so full of themselves thinking nothing could turn their single hair wrong.

I mean why we are so big of idiots!!!!

Why we are even sinners!!!!!

Why don't we get the things beyond the surface!!!!

Why we are so apparent and shallow!!!!

Why we break so easily!!!!

Why we gloat and condescend so easily!!!

Why we can't be modest!!!!

Why we can't be what we are!!!

Simple creatures from mud!!

Why we are so presumptuous!!

Because we are humans.Yes merely humans.

Who had agile and compulsive nature.Who are evanescent and thick-headed.

Who always understand after getting the hit.Who only learn by slap not words.

Whom mind only opens after their actions ,after damage is done!!!

Yes ,we are like it

Weak and fragile, 

Impulsive and volatile.

There's not a single breath we could control yet boasting with words of power,control,authority and greatness.

Reallyyyy....Do we really own that!!!

I'm sorry but not.Not at all.

So before flying high, come down and clear your clouded head before you fall so hard that you can't even walk.

Just once know your place!!!

Just once know His Authority,His Supremeness,His Place.

But unfortunately, it takes a whole life to understand the reality.

When we understand the reality, we are not real anymore.Under the soil,deep in slumber.

While those who get light before that are wisest, luckiest and bravest.

They are Momineen. 

The Believers not merely by words but by each action, act and assumptions.

But unfortunately ,very few get to that point.

Some stammer and crawl in darkness forever.Those are the unluckiest.Those are pitiable.

*********************

I rarely do breakfast because I'm always getting late.I have to make it.Mostly ,I went before my parents.So I have to make my breakfast which I obtain sometimes If I have time to prepare it. 

Otherwise its only a cup of tea.We used to have it regularly ,when Yaseen Chacha was here.But now as he is gone,So are our luxuries.

Getting to the point,after wearing pink long frock and trouser, I took my staller and wrap it around my face. 

I usually love frocks because they cover my body modestly and look pretty.

Let me tell you I never went without covering my hair since I read an influential book. 

SOME THINGS AND EXPERIENCES CHANGE OTHER THINGS COMPLETELY! 

Then I placed my dupatta around my shoulders.Just because, It was cold outside.Then my van arrived and I reached college.

*********************

We reached in our College ground where everybody was gathered including my princy I mean Principal Azhar.

He was tall,rigid man of command and power.His winkles on forehead displaying his years of experience.

He announced : "Teachers and students.As you are in last year.You should grasp some practality.So this experience will enlighten you."

His eyes focusing and voice loud : 

"Due to major earthquake accompanied by landsliding and heavy rain , many roofs are collapsed and people are injured.They have been shifted to DHQ Hospital Gilgit. 

The staff there is lacking and resources are meagre.Hence, our team alongwith government workers is going to help the victims. 

You should be departing now and reach tomorrow. 

Sir Waleed would be incharge and guiding you along with his companions. 

Wish you best of luck. 

Fi-AmanAllah"

Afterwards, we were rushing towards our bus when I spotted Sana my friend.

She is smart and thin with large brown eyes and sleek black hair which are as usual covered with dupatta.

She is wearing a long brown overcoat and blue sneakers.

I waved her, grateful that she was with me atleast.We interwined hands and moved together towards bus settling down near last seats.I sit near window.

We were 6 students -3 girls and 3 boys escorted by Sir Waleed.He was middle aged man with comanding aura enhanced by thick black frame of his glasses.He was very good at coordination, telling us some instructions and easing our nerves.

From Islambad To Gilgit ,was a journey of 16-18 hours.I had that bad habit of sleeping during travelling. So I slept off.

Superb Hayat!!! Only you can sleep in such circumstances

When I opened my eyes we were in Mansehra city from where we followed National Highway.

The plain black lands were changing into mountainous green covered in snow.

This route also meets KKH-Karakoram Highway at Chilas District providing the panaromic view of Naran and Kaghan Valley.

Beautiful is the least word ,I could think of it 

as it was marvellous.

Those green mountains veiling theirselves in white shawl, providing breathtaking view.

I always loved nature.It fascinates me.I dwell in it like sugar dwelling in water. 

Spending my most part of childhood in mighty mountains and lustrous green plains 

It had become a part of me 

I don't live in nature 

Nature lives within me

I used to spend my all childhood holding my toys in mountains in solitude talking to grass, trees, leaves and myself 

It felt like nature talks to me 

I would tell every complain 

Every good and every bad thing to those flowers and flies

Beautiful views make me happy.

My black orbs were large, capturing all the beauty and eyelashes fluttering in appraisal.

ALLLAH ALLAH!!! This is really a sight to see. 

When I came out of my trance we were passing through Kohistan, the last district of KPK (Khyber Pakhtunkhwa) we were hugged by peaks of Gilgit-Baltistan.

We took a break and had our breakfast in Jougloat.Thank God ,Sana had chicken sandwiches which we shared between our journey.While I had snackers.Otherwise, I would have died. 

Food is bae even during scary situations!! 

Afterwards it took half an hour to reach Gilgit City.

********************

We settled at a hotel near the hospital.At evening we entered our room.Me and Sana, and our another fellow Sara was settled in one room.While boys were in another room.

After such a long journey, my muscles were stiff and sore from continuous sitting.I extended my hands and arms, exhaling a huge yawn before snuggling into warm bed.

"I am going to sleep friends.We shall see tomorrow.Shab bakhair"

Afterwhich sleep captured me. 

****************** 

I came to realize that in my dream someone is hitting me and pushing my shoulders saying "Wakeup Hayat"

What the fudgling!! Sana can't even leave me in my dreams.

After I got a hit, a stinging sensation on my cheeks when I realized it was no dream but she was really waking me up.

I grunted: "Ughh!! I'm awake .You just leave...... I will come afterwards."

"But you don't know the directions to hospital Hayaaat" 

She reasoned.

"I will manage you go.Just 10 minutes.Please" My voice muffled beneath sheets.

"Fine" She whined and left, I guess.

I removed covers and moved towards bathroom.After arranging my appearance and making myself presentable, I grab my phone and move outside.

There was old man at the counter.I inquired him about directions and he told me address.

It would be a long day.I guess.

********************* 

I took a right turn from the building and moved forward.There were huge mountains near the road covering the whole area.

I encountered a collapsed building when I realized I don't know where to go.

Stupid Hayat!!! Always getting in trouble...Now where to go.

My stepmother always used to say when there is some trouble in house, it must be Hayat.

Yes ,It was true because I burned things with iron, lit the carpet and once cause huge spark in electricity meter causing the whole house to darken.

In my defense, I was turning breaker off.What if it went wrong.I swear my book said it was done that way. 

Stupid books.

So ,I was standing there contemplating what to do when someone grab my dupatta behind my shoulders causing me to nearly fall on otherside of road. I just closed my eyes as reflex movement.At one second I was standing and the next on floor above something huge and large clad in something green.

I only felt strong hands pushing me towards ground causing me lose my balance and fall a little away from building,I hit the road with large arms surrounding my shoulders.

I knew it was a man.Bastard

I was fuming with anger and going to slap that bloody idiot and shameless person.I was about to shout: 

"What the......."when my words were cut off, 

when building from behind came down bursting in a huge bang.

I closed my eyes to lighten the impact.When I opened them ,I came face to face with ember eyes with hint of gold sparkling with anger.

He was holding my shoulders.I was in shock due to blast.My ears were ringing.My legs were shivering and my eyes stung with tears.I was so panicked.

After a while, I came into my senses and understand the uncomfortable position in we were.Actually due to fear and attack,I had grasped him so hard that my knuckles had turn white.I got embarassed and quickly shrugged from his grasp. 

I removed my gaze from him and snatch my dupatta wrapping it around myself.

Then realization dawned upon on me.Oh Allah I was lying on a man like he was moltyfoam mattress.

But to save life you could lay on stack of potatoes for God's sake.It doesn't matter.

Its better to be on someone's chest than be dead.my subconsious said

Shut up!!!I inwardly cried to my brain

To escape from my fear and nervousness, I completely turn the tables by directing my anger towards him:

"How dare you snatch my dupatta.Do you have some shame?"

He was staring at me in complete shock at my sudden outburst then retorted:

"Waow.This is a way of saying thank you to a man who saved your life."

Glancing at him, I noticed he was wearing khaki uniform having the nameplate of Captain.He was really handsome with dark brown locks falling over his forehead and sharp jaw.

Stop it Hayaat.Astaghfirullah .Focus on situation.Allah maafi!!! 

I'm so shameless.

Kill that shaitaan before I kill him for initiating such thoughts in my mind.

Realizing my mistake, I added:

"I'm sorry.But next time If you save someone.Save in gentleman way"

He smirked and wiggled his eyebrows saying:

"Gentleman way.Ofcourse! 

Well I'm really sorry that instead of saying please!would you get a side! And letting you crush under that building I saved you and pushed you away.It would be better If I let you die in gentleman way"

He retorted

I rolled my eyes at his sarcasm. 

"Whatever!! "

Then suddenly his mood swang in anger and he enquired:

"May I ask you why you were roaming in dangered area.Have you no eyes to see that board saying" 

He said in commas through his fingers 

"DANGER AHEAD"

You're so stupid.No brains"

I was raging inside but control it and said in an unemotional way:

"Actually I was lost.I was moving towards GHQ Hospital"

He was holding back another comeback when he saw that I was actually telling truth.He just observed with putting his finger on his jaw.I guess he was figuring me out.Afterwards he nodded understanding the situation and beckoned another soldier,the soldier saluted and he commanded :

"Take the lady towards hospital.She lost track of place"

"And probably her mind too" 

He muttered under his breath

I glared saying "Excuse me"

He cursed and said "Nothing! My man will drop you at your destination.A thank you would be enough."

Due to my stupid ego I open my mouth and said "Why thankyou!! It wasn't a big deal"

I smirked and left with soldier.

Now I got fearful ,anticipating what would happen in hospital after this much delay.

They will surely roast me!!!