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Destiny
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2021-03-05 22:37:10At morning after breakfast I was at the door to see off my brother.Azaan had already left.I hugged him,taking him all in as we meet after so long time.
He looked at me putting his hands on mine"Hayaat you could always come home If there is a problem.I'll be always there for you"I know he will understand,he was not so dumb.He knew everything just by seeing me." I learned to fight my battles myself brother a long time ago.Have faith in me "He smiled at me "Allah Hafiz my lil sis"Allah Hafiz I waved back watching his retreating back.***********************Next days were passing like a blur movie on screen that I barely had time for myself.Then I was shifted in neurology department and there was a little bit relaxament there as compared to lifesucking surgery department.I make breakfast for Azaan and he used to leave before I'm ready while at night I left his dinner at table and go for a sleep because I can't stand more like zombie.We barely talk an
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I lightly slapped his cheeks , patting his head I removed his brown locks that were falling on his forehead.when I shouted again his name,slapping his cheeks with more pressure this timehe grunted in response. Oh Allah he's going to explode like hot lava If he's body keeps on burning like that. I immediately removed his jacket , socks and undid some buttons of his shirt to cool him down.Then I rushed towards washroom taking some gauzes with me along with a cup of water.I put the wet gauze on his forehead,applying slight pressure.After doing this procedure few times his eyes fluttered open.I can't even describe the happiness I felt when his lazy gaze met mine. Are you okay? I asked smoothly in low tone but my throat was heavy, it came with emotions. Hayaa.... I'm okHe almost whispered in lazy tone , but seeing my anxious eyes he immediately put up a facade . This little fever couldn't do a thing to me. First
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It seemed like time stood still at the momentAmaar left and I didn't bother to acknowledge his departure. I was just looking at the person who was my partner. The partner in the journey of my life.I was looking into the eyes of a person infront of whom my soul was left bare. All the barriers I had built for so many yearsThey were gone nowThose three simple wordsThey were not words to me that were my whole existenceI was giving a part of meWelcoming someone into my life was like giving everything to himMy sorrows , my happiness , my responsibilities , my timeEverythingI would turn softAnything that has the ability to hurt him will hurt me tooThere is a chance of pain due to himThere would be a weakness and strength both So these three words were the most painful , meaningful and core-shaking words for me They were not
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I was running while Azaan was chasing me .My laughs could be heard over my increasing heartbeat.I could feel him approaching from behind.I just look behind and then ran faster but unfortunately my running spree stopped at door.I ceased and turn around my breaths were short due to this much running.I just looked towards him with a little fear and excitement .He just stopped a metre away from me and I was facing him.His hair dishevelled ,breaths ragged due to exertion.He just moved closer,calming his breath and said smirkingGot you .Then he took my hand and said:Before you act like a child again I need to talk to you.I just let him take me towards the room.My hands still in his warm large ones.I'm still not used to this holding hands thing.It feels so intimate and yet I love how my small hand fit perfectly into his large muscular one.After we were settled down at the bed facing each other he looked at me, his hands fiddling with the bedsheet ,a
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Death is inevitable...Death is the worst reality...It is the balance of life it is the ice cold water that awakens your whole body from the illusions...The illusion of eternity..The illusion of happiness..Everyone was mourning....There were cries,screams...Screams from the people I know,the people whom I saw since my birth .They were saying something which I can't decipher.I can't understand anything....My grandmother!!!She was the most patient ,the most kind person I ever saw..Those eyes which always shine with hope, affection were full of pain, those dark brown eyes of her...She shouted hysterically : "Your world is destroyed my child...Come see your mother....She's gone .....Please see her face..." she was crying hysterically.It was too difficult for my mind to face the reality. My age was not adequate to understand and grab the consequences. The depth of doom and pain behind these words. I was just trying to understand why they are crying
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I don't know how long I stood there outside in verandah, away from the crowd of people.The cold wind kissing my face, reminding me back to reality. But still I can't get my head into clarity.Everything was blur. After having enough energy to walk, I move towards the corner of verandah. There he was....In the lap of grandmother who was trying to soothe him. He was crying hysterically. His beautiful black eyes were pouring tears, his curled eyelashes were all wet from crying. His face holding hundreds of emotions that I can't understand.How could I forget him, my brother, "The Hero" HUSSNAIN!!!!! Mama used to say his name was an amalgam of Hassan and Hussain. The Prince of Jannah...His proud eyes were full of pain,doomness.His arrogant and cocky face was so broken. So vulnerable. It was totally unusual scenario because my brother was never weak. His face always show his cockiness, his intelligence. He was handsome and he knows it.It was always envio
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Knotting my long hair into braid, I was getting ready for School.My hair had grown long,they were jet black and thick.Everyone used to say I had inherited them from mamaThey were only thing that I take pride in.I was not really a morning person,So I was walking like a zombie who had not eaten food for months.But guess what my Baba was all chirpy and all that crap in morning.He used to sing something and interact with everybody.He rushed towards me asking me questionsThey used to call me Haya as nick.While my brother called me Servant,our maid,little witch and blacky which I really loved a lot because I don't give a shit anymore.It used to annoy the hell out of me.But with time I grew out of my insecurities and as I was growing I transformed from thin,bony girl to healthy curvy one and my complexion kept on getting better and better.I knew he just used these names to get a rise out of me and I intend to not give him this pleasure.But with time I used
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Time seems to fly as we were engaged in work,playing and sleep.Let me remind you I'm Scorpion. So we love to sleep.It is really our thing.When I'm sleeping anyone could put me in sack and export to hell because I sleep so deep.My sleep game is really strong,Unlike my brother who wake up even there is a minute sound.Always the curious one,the intelligent one,but I beat him in our studies due to my elegant cramming skills.Yes ,I could swallow the whole book without changing a little full stop in it.I was also good at picking new concepts.While Urdu and English were on my tongue with fluency.Never I had ever need an effort on those subjects.So ,he must be cool man but I was the nerdy one here.Me 1,Bro 0All cocky boys used to put there bad grades in just few words:"Actually we don't learn these books and are into them 24 hours.Unlike girls ,then we would have definitely topped them all"Really!!! boys you can't come with something better.So
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Cries Behind Smiles His Confessions
I was running while Azaan was chasing me .My laughs could be heard over my increasing heartbeat.I could feel him approaching from behind.I just look behind and then ran faster but unfortunately my running spree stopped at door.I ceased and turn around my breaths were short due to this much running.I just looked towards him with a little fear and excitement .He just stopped a metre away from me and I was facing him.His hair dishevelled ,breaths ragged due to exertion.He just moved closer,calming his breath and said smirkingGot you .Then he took my hand and said:Before you act like a child again I need to talk to you.I just let him take me towards the room.My hands still in his warm large ones.I'm still not used to this holding hands thing.It feels so intimate and yet I love how my small hand fit perfectly into his large muscular one.After we were settled down at the bed facing each other he looked at me, his hands fiddling with the bedsheet ,a
Cries Behind Smiles Truth and Lies
It seemed like time stood still at the momentAmaar left and I didn't bother to acknowledge his departure. I was just looking at the person who was my partner. The partner in the journey of my life.I was looking into the eyes of a person infront of whom my soul was left bare. All the barriers I had built for so many yearsThey were gone nowThose three simple wordsThey were not words to me that were my whole existenceI was giving a part of meWelcoming someone into my life was like giving everything to himMy sorrows , my happiness , my responsibilities , my timeEverythingI would turn softAnything that has the ability to hurt him will hurt me tooThere is a chance of pain due to himThere would be a weakness and strength both So these three words were the most painful , meaningful and core-shaking words for me They were not
Cries Behind Smiles Closure
I lightly slapped his cheeks , patting his head I removed his brown locks that were falling on his forehead.when I shouted again his name,slapping his cheeks with more pressure this timehe grunted in response. Oh Allah he's going to explode like hot lava If he's body keeps on burning like that. I immediately removed his jacket , socks and undid some buttons of his shirt to cool him down.Then I rushed towards washroom taking some gauzes with me along with a cup of water.I put the wet gauze on his forehead,applying slight pressure.After doing this procedure few times his eyes fluttered open.I can't even describe the happiness I felt when his lazy gaze met mine. Are you okay? I asked smoothly in low tone but my throat was heavy, it came with emotions. Hayaa.... I'm okHe almost whispered in lazy tone , but seeing my anxious eyes he immediately put up a facade . This little fever couldn't do a thing to me. First
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Oh my God why he is making it difficult invading my personal space like that.My heart was again dancing in my chest ready to explode.I looked down and try to move out of his hold."What was that Haya"I was really aware of what he was asking.I blushed more at him." I don't know what you are talking about?" I try to play dumb."Look at me Haya while I'm talking to you"He put a hand under my chin closing the gap between us.His usual smell of sandalwood and citrous immediately filled my senses and when I met his gold eyes they were burning a hole through me.His gaze always burn a fire in my heart.Oh Allah I will surely die with this close proximityYou didn't die earlier.My subconsious retorted referring to my earlier bravery."Tell me or I can remind you what I'm talking about." He said smugly and I looked at him alarmingly.Don't do that.Oh Allah ."Not so brave are we now.Where is your confidence princess that was earlier the
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Next morning I woke up late.I tossed all night on my bed thinking.I touched my lips still shivering from the memory.Why would he do that? He don't even like me.I danced with a non-Mehram.Allah g what have I done.Last night I prayed Nawafil Toba along with Namaz Isha and kept begging Allah to forgive my sins.I'm still too weak and my Imaan still quivers like a fragile feather moved by wind.But Allah says he forgives who repents and beg mercy for his sins as He isAr-Rahman (All Merciful)Today is sunday so I can lay down more.After mustering up courage,I try to act normally like nothing had happened I move towards kitchen and started making breakfast.I was beating the eggs for omelette when I heard footsteps nearing myself,I turn around and was approaching the spices when felt the presence,seizing my all movement.I gazed upwards and tried to give a smile.Good MorningI tried to act normal.He just smiled at me.His eyes
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I just took my red long maxy from cupboard.It was beautiful yet modest.I was gonna paired up with my long black heels and red dupatta.I was letting my hijab loose today so a few strands of hair were falling on both sides.My maxy was long with black stones on chest.It was little fitting on waist.I put my eyeliner on and put dark red lipstick on my lips.I hardly put lipstick on but today I wanted to look beautiful.After parting my hair from middle I put them on bun with few strands on both sides.I put the necklace Azaan gave me.It was perfect.I heard Azaan calling me impatient so I took my black clutch and move outwards I was moving down from stairs when his eyes caught me.He was looking ravishing in black suit with white shirt underneath.His hair were tamed back but his jaw almost dropped when he saw me.He was looking at me with such intensity that my breath hitched.Those fiery golds were burning me with that look.When I move towards him ,he was still look
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After few seconds,I composed myself.I was so damn worried about him that I even forget to offer my Isha prayers.I'm not punctual in Namaz.I don't know I've tried so much but still I forget but since Dado's death a switch is turned on and I haven't skip a single prayer.It may be due to the irritation caused by my jerk of a husband that I need something to calm downWe humans are such mean creatures.In pain,we remember Allah like we should do anytime.Why broken hearts feel Allah so close to them.Why not in happiness.Such selfish we are.So I offered Isha prayers and slept in room besides our bedroom.It has single bed.It is kind of guestroom.I woke up early in morning.My sleep cycle is so unstable,sometimes I sleep too much and sometimes too little.Your brain is also unstable,my subconsious taunted.Oh thank you,for reminding me more of my problems.I make breakfast as usual.I was pouring the tea in cup when I feel someone settled down beside on chair
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I don't know for how long I kept sitting on floor carpet.After I gained my senses back I move towards bathroom.It was huge with black tiles, huge tub at corner parted by glass sliding.There was also walk in closet besides bathroom.Atleast the dragon has nice home.I smiled at the little nickname I have given him.I took clothes from my bag and undress myself,clothing myself in white maxy frock and white dupatta.I wash my face off and performed wudhu.I offered my esha prayers and move my hand upwards for dua.When I said Ameen and put my hands on my face in "Ameen form"I felt someone stare.Then, I removed my hands I saw him staring hard at me with amusement and intrigue.When he saw I noticed him,I questioned through my eyesWhat??He shifted his gaze and moved towards closet.Omg!!! I hate it when people don't talk what they're thinkingAhh!! Stupid psycho handsome man.I just wrapped the prayer mat and moved towards bed.I was
