Chapter 03

My head hurts.

That's the first thought that went in my head the moment I felt my consciousness coming back. 

It felt like it was being hacked open with a mallet, subukan ko mang diinan ang pagkakahiga ko sa unan na nasa ilalim ng ulo ko ay hindi man lang nito nababawasan ang sakit. These are the moments that just makes me say that I won't ever drink again. 

When I woke up the day after and my head just hurts so much, when my face is still caked with make up from the night before, and when I can't endure staying in bed longer in hopes of soothing the pain I feel kasi may balak akong patayin ng sarili kong hininga.

Pero kapag may nag-aya na ay hindi rin naman makatanggi. 

I groaned loudly as I sat up, trying to let the world know that I was in pain. Sapo sapo ang ulo ay bumaba ako mula sa kamang kinahihigaan, natigilan pa ako habang nagsusuot ng tsinelas at tumingin sa paligid. 

Mahirap na, baka kung saang bahay pa ako napunta.

Nakahinga naman ako nang maluwag nang makilala ang guest room ni Hya. Ako na lang ang natutulog sa kama nang magising ako kaya siguro ay kanina pa gising si Sage, si Zach naman ay nakahiga ang kalahati ng katawan sa mattress na nakalatag sa sahig, ang mga paa niya ay umabot na sa ilalim ng kama.

Napatingin ako sa wall clock at nakitang alas nuebe na nang umaga, napakamot na lamang ako ng ulo at itinali ang buhok bago lumabas ng kwarto.

Sunday naman at wala akong trabaho kaya okay lang matulog pa ng matagal, pero may sasamahan kasi akong impakto para ipaayos ang kotse niya. Bumaba ako papunta sa kitchen, kung nasaan din ang common bathroom ng condo nila Hya.

Naabutan ko si Sage na panay ang tawa habang may kung anong kinu-kwento kina Hya at sa isa pang babae. 

Hya mentioned that she had a roommate now, so maybe ay iyon ang dahilan kung ba't may ibang tao rito. Hya is a very private person, kami kami lang ang pwedeng pumasok sa condo niya.

Hindi ko na sana papansinin ang pagchi-chismisan nila roon nang marinig ko ang pangalan ko.

"Pucha, alalang alala ako kay Sienna, parang tanga kung kani-kanino sumasama eh," dagdag niya pa at malakas na tumawa. Nakatalikod siya sa akin kaya hindi niya ako nakitang papalapit na. Hinila ko ang buhok niya nang mapadaan ako sa kanila.

"Hoy backstabber, ang aga aga chismis na inaatupag mo. Wala ka bang hangover?" tanong ko.

"Uy, Sienna!" tumatawa pa ring aniya. "Good morning! Meet Kaia," patungkol niya sa babaeng kaharap na kumaway naman sa akin.

"Hi! You must be Sienna, come, I prepared hangover tea for you all," magiliw na aniya at tumayo upang salinan ako ng tsaa mula sa takure na nasa counter. Ito ba 'yong sinasabi ni Hya na rakista ang datingan? Ba't 'di ko naman makita?

"Salamat," nakangiting pasasalamat ko. "But I gotta wash my face first, I feel gross with all this make up still on my face," I gestured at my face and walked towards the bathroom. 

Naghilamos ako at nagmumog ng mouthwash upang kahit papaano ay mabawasan ang amoy at natitirang lasa ng alak sa bibig ko. Gosh, so gross. 

After I dried my face, I returned to the kitchen and saw that Zach was already with them at tumutulong nang pagkatuwaan ang mga katangahan ko kagabi.

"Nawala ampucha," tumawa ito ng malakas. Napairap na lamang ako at pasimple siyang siniko nang tumabi ako sa kaniya.

"Tawang tawa? Mabulunan ka sana," sabi ko nang sumubo siya ng tinapay.

"Paano ka ba kasi nawala?" natatawang tanong niya, binaba niya ang tinapay na hawak. "Lasing na yata ako, huling natatandaan ko 'yong sa ikalawang bar tayo eh, tapos 'yong next memory dito na, muntik pa ngang mahulog si Sage sa hagdan eh," mas lalo pang lumakas ang tawa niya, tumigil lang nang sinipa ko siya sa ilalim ng mesa.

"I don't know, I was just talking with this girl," pagsagot ko sa tanong niya. "I think her name was Jennifer – no – Jessica, and she told me about this cool bar that was nearby. At 'di ko na exactly maalala kung sinabihan ko kayo na lilipat kami but I genuinely thought you were right behind us, kaya sumama rin ako agad," pagpapaliwanag ko.

"Gaga," pagmumura sa'kin ni Sage at binatukan pa ako nang mahina. "Pa'no kung human trafficker pala 'yon tapos ibinugaw ka?" pangangaral pa nito.

"OA mo naman ma," I rolled my eyes. "I think you're just overthinking this, I'm here, suffering from hangover, 'wag na nating pag-usapan 'yon okay?"

"Yeah, but next time don't do that again, we were worried sick," wika naman ni Hya na kasalukuyang busy sa pagluluto.

"Sus, knocked out ka kagabi, Hya, 'wag mo 'kong pinaglololoko," I said and chuckled. She just smiled sheepishly at me and continued cooking.

Nagpatuloy lang kami sa pagbabangayan doon habang patuloy pa rin sa pagluluto si Hya, I came to know Kaia too. She's the new actress of a big entertainment industry, kaso ngayon ay tila nasangkot sa isang eskandalo na wala naman siyang kinalaman. It's bad for her booming career, but her manager, ate ni Hya, told her to lay low for a while habang inaayos nila 'yong problema. 

Nang matapos sa pagluluto si Hya ay tinulungan siya ni Sage na maghain, kami naman ni Kaia ay inihanda ang lamesa, si Zach ay nauna nang maligo kaya siguro ay nagbibihis pa ito. 

We have clothes in each other's houses, exactly for this reason, so we needn't worry about that.

Pagkatapos naming kumain ay nagprisinta na kami ni Sage na kami ang maghuhugas but Kaia contradicted, siya na raw, tutal wala naman siyang gagawin. So nauna na akong maligo kay Sage dahil nga may lakad pa ako ngayong araw.

Pagkatapos kong magbihis ay tiningnan ko ang sarili ko sa salamin. I was wearing a simple shirt and a pair of jeans, sinuot ko na lang din ang heels na suot ko kagabi. Dadaan pa naman ako sa condo eh, magbibihis na lang ako ulit. Kumuha pa ako ng mirror shot at nilagay iyon sa story ko bago tuluyang bumaba, dala dala ang paper bag na sisidlan ng damit ko kagabi.

Nag-taxi na lang ako pauwi dahil iniwan na pala kami ni Zach.

I texted Neo on the way and just told him to meet me at the coffee shop near my condo, he just said yes, so I kept my phone again and got ready to pay dahil malapit na kami.

When we arrived, I paid and stepped out of the taxi and went in the building. I ignored the whispered argument of the strangers that were with me in the elevator and smiled at them as I stepped out when we arrived in my floor.

I changed my heels into a pair of white sneakers and wore a black oversized checkered jacket over my white shirt, pagkatapos ay bumaba na ako sa parking lot at kinuha ang motor ko at dumiretso na sa coffee shop na napag-usapan namin. 

Wala pa siya roon so I ordered latte first, Kaia's hangover tea worked a charm, pero medyo masakit pa rin ang ulo ko, not as bad as earlier though. Maya maya lang ay natanaw ko na ang Audi niya sa labas, and he entered the coffee shop, eyes scanning the crowd of customers inside, obviously trying to find me. 

Hindi ako kumaway sa kaniya, umiwas pa nga ako ng tingin, para na rin mahirapan siyang maghanap.

"Hey," sa wakas ay narinig ko ang boses niya, he also pulled the chair in front of me and sat there.

"Oh hey, narito ka na pala," I said. "Ubusin ko lang 'to then alis na tayo," I added and drank my coffee.

"Don't rush, I'll get some food first, hindi pa ako nakakapag-breakfast," he said and stood up again to go to the counter. 

Oo nga pala, magkasama lang kami kagabi, panigurado ay may hangover din 'to.

He came back with a tray with a coffee and two oreo cheesecakes, akala ko ay i-ooffer niya sa akin ang isa, but he didn't say a thing and just ate them in front of me. I scoffed, buti na lang at wala na akong sinabi.

Nang matapos siya ay lumabas na kami ng coffee shop.

"So, will I be driving o ikaw na?" he asked, showing me his key.

"Nah, just follow me," sagot ko at lumapit sa motor ko. Napanganga naman siya.

"That's yours?" he asked.

"Hindi, ninakaw ko lang, babalik ko rin mamaya," I replied sarcastically at sumakay na at pinaandar iyon. Sinuot ko na rin ang helmet ko. "Try not to lose me," pahabol ko, he just nodded dismissively at dali daling sumakay sa kotse niya. 

Hinintay ko munang mapaandar niya ang sasakyan bago ko pinatakbo ang motor ko. Maya't maya ay tinitingnan ko siya sa side mirror kung nakakasunod pa ba, hinihinaan ko rin ang pagpapatakbo kapag medyo nahuhuli siya. Walang patawad naman kasi ang trafffic sa Pilipinas.

Hindi naman gaanong malayo ang shop kaya hindi naman kami natagalan masyado sa kalsada.

This shop is owned by Cian, a highschool classmate and a friend of mine, siya rin ang nangangalaga sa kotse namin ni Sierra dati, back when we were still racing. 

Nalungkot ako nang maalala iyon, damn, hindi na yata talaga ako makakatakas mula sa guilt na dala ng aksidenteng iyon.

"Sienna?" napatingin ako sa tumawag sa pangalan ko pagkapasok namin sa shop, I smiled when I saw Cian walking towards us.

"Hey Ci," bati ko rin at nakipag-fist bump nang makalapit na siya nang tuluyan.

"Ang tagal mo nang hindi nakakapunta, I thought you forgot about me already," kunwari ay nalulungkot na aniya.

"Sus, 'wag mo kong artehan, hindi bagay sa'yo," I said and punched his arm lightly. "By the way, this is Neon, magpapaayos siya ng kotse," sabi ko.

"Oh?" napatingin si Cian sa kasama ko. "Cian, pare," sabi niya at inilahad ang kamay. 

"Neo," sagot naman ng isa at matalim na tumingin sa akin. "Not Neon," he added. Natawa naman si Cian.

"Well, leave it to Sienna to mess up people's names," he said and chuckled. "Honestly it's a surprise na sumama pa siya rito, normally she just gives a suggestion and the address of my shop," pagpuna nito sa presensiya ko.

"Yeah, but this time's different, ako ang nakabangga sa kaniya," napa-oh naman si Cian at tumango tango. "So, you know, kinda my responsibility," I smiled sheepishly.

"So were you guys not hurt? With the collision I mean," nag-aalalang tanong nito.

"Nope, hindi naman gano'n kalakas ang pagkakabangga eh," I said.

"Alright then, where's the car? Ano bang damage?" We led Cian towards the car and showed them the dent. "This small of a dent? Seriously? It's hardly noticeable," reklamo niya at umatras pa ng bahagya at tiningnan ang kabuuan ng kotse.

"But it's a blemish," sagot ni Neo. Cian just shrugged and called some of his workers and explained to them what needs to be done. Hindi naman daw iyon matatagalan so we decided to just wait for it.

"So, Sienna," Cian started. "Still single?" 

"Of course," sagot ko nang hindi siya tinitingnan. Pinayagan niya kasi akong pakialaman ang speaker ng shop, kaya naghahanap ako ngayon ng kantang ipe-play.

"Ako rin," napalingon ako sa kaniya, ngumiti naman siya nang nakakaloko sa'kin. "Single," dagdag pa niya. I just rolled my eyes at him and chose a Paramore song.

"Don't try me, Christian," I said and hummed along to the song that was playing.

"So you're still firm to that verdict of yours huh? I actually thought he was your boyfriend, or fling at least," patungkol niya kay Neo na nanonood sa ginagawa ng mga workers sa kotse niya.

"Oh please, you of all people should know damn well that I don't do boyfriends, or flings," I said.

"Oh I know," he chuckled. "Ikaw lang naman ang kauna-unahang bumasted sa'kin."

"Ako lang naman ang niligawan mo, other girls would gladly skip that part for you," napailing ako. "You did a pretty assholish thing after I turned you down though, do you remember?"

"Of course I do, niligawan ko si Sierra," he cringed. "Sorry, medyo gago ako dati."

"Anong medyo? Gago ka talaga, porket ayaw ko sa'yo gagawin mong rebound kapatid ko?" pinagkrus ko ang mga braso at tinitigan siya.

"Yeah, but she also turned me down kasi ayaw niya rin sa'kin, magkapatid nga kayo, parehas kayong mapanakit," he chuckled. "God, I miss Sierra," he said. Napatango na lang din ako. I miss these times too, when the three of us would just meet here in his shop and make fun of each other.

"Do you still visit her these days?" I asked.

"Of course, I was there last week, how about you?" 

"The last time was probably last month pa, I'm just too busy."

"Yeah, your dad's training you to replace him right?" he asked. Tumango naman ako bilang sagot.

"Mmm," I hummed. "Do'n pa rin pala ako babagsak," I shrugged.

"Is Sierra dead?"

"Jesus!" napahawak ako sa dibdib ko nang may biglang magsalita sa likuran ko, I turned around and saw Neo, kanina pa ba siya nandiyan? Akala ko ay naroon pa siya sa mga trabahador. 

"What? Kanina pa 'ko rito," sabi niya at iminuwestra ang sarili.

Mabilis naming iniba ni Cian ang usapan, mainly because we don't really want to talk about Sierra, it would just lead to questions and eventually, I'll have to relive what happened that day. 

"Your total's 5,850 pesos," wika ni Cian sa counter nang natapos na ang pag-aayos sa kotse. Ibinigay ko naman sa kaniya ang credit card ko, agad naman niya itong ini-swipe at binalik din sa'kin pagkatapos.

"Salamat."

"No worries, by the way, birthday ni mama this week, she'd love to see you," he told me.

"Oh shoot, oo nga pala," sabi ko nang maalala ang petsa. "Just send me the deets, I'll see what I can do," sabi ko.

"Will do, take care," kumaway pa siya sa akin.

"Bye," kumaway rin ako pabalik bago sumunod kay Neo sa labas. "You ready to go?" tanong ko.

"Yeah, I'm going out to go buy a present for mom and dad," sabi niya habang tumitipa sa cellphone niya. "You wanna come with? I'm with Val," pagbibigay-alam niya.

"Nah, sina mom na ang bahala sa regalo namin, have fun though," sabi ko at sumakay na sa motor ko. "Bye!" I said and didn't bother looking back at him as I went.

I was surprised when I saw my mother in the lobby of our building along with a ... person which I do not know.

"Mom!" bati ko at lumapit upang h*****k sa pisngi niya.

"Where have you been?" tanong niya. 

"Oh I just went out to have lunch, what brings you here?" 

"This is Percy," patungkol niya sa kasama niya. "They will help you get ready for the party tonight," dagdag niya pa.

I almost beamed at the use of the pronoun, my mom has her flaws, but at least she doesn't have anything against people's gender identities, as long as they aren't being a nuisance to society.

"Alas tres pa lang naman, mom," I told her after I looked at my wristwatch. 

"It's not easy to get you ready, Sienna, baka ma-late ka pa mamaya, nakakahiya kina Mrs. Valencia," she said. "Percy, ikaw na ang bahala sa kaniya okay?" 

"Of course naman mamsh, leave her to me," pagtango ni Percy habang pinapasadahan ako ng tingin. I held my head up high, alam ko namang maganda ako.

"Okay then, mom aakyat ka po ba? I'll prepare some merienda," sabi ko.

"No, kikitain ko rin ang stylist ko, so I have to go," h*****k siya sa pisngi ko bago tuluyang lumabas. Inaya ko naman si Percy paakyat sa unit ko.

Pinaligo niya muna ako bago niya ako inayusan, naka-hang na rin ang damit ko sa malapit, it was a navy blue slim fitted off shoulder gown, with a slit on the right side, my mom also brought me a new pair of heels, silver ones, to match the gown, and the theme of the celebration, since it was Mr. and Mrs. Valencia's 25th anniversary.

Light and natural lang ang make-up, since hindi ko naman daw kailangan ng marami, she tied up my hair into a messy bun, exposing my collar bone. May ibinigay rin pala si mom na set ng alahas, all in silver.

"Galing mo," papuri ko naman sa kaniya.

"Duh, ako pa ba? Gusto kong kabugin mo lahat ng girlalu roon tonight, oh pak!" sagot niya pa. 

"Kahit 'di mo pa sabihin," I chuckled.

Sakto namang katatapos lang niyang ligpitin ang mga gamit niya nang tumawag si mom at sinabing nasa baba na sila at naghihintay. 

Sinamahan ako ni Percy pababa, dahil sa gabi na rin ay hindi na gaanong marami ang tumatambay sa lobby, pero uwian din iyon ng mga nagtatrabaho kaya may nakakasalubong kaming napapalingon sa gawi ko.

Nagpasalamat ako kay Percy bago tuluyang sumakay sa sasakyan katabi ni mom sa backseat, si dad naman ay nasa front seat katabi ng driver.

Tahimik lang kami buong byahe hanggang sa marating namin ang venue, ang mansion ng mga Valencia.

"Good evening kumpare, kumare," magiliw at malawak ang ngiti na bungad sa amin ni Mr. Valencia. Kumpare agad? Nito lang sila nagkakilala ni dad ah?

"Good evening, kumpare, happy anniversary," bati ni dad.

"Thank you, come on in, my wife's been waiting for you," he said and led us inside. Maganda rin ang mansion sa loob, malaki at spacious, maganda rin ang pagkaka-disenyo ng lugar para sa event.

Bumati na rin ako sa kanila at nagpasalamat sa mga papuri nila. Napagdesisyunan kong humiwalay sa grupong iyon nang mapunta na sa business ang usapan nila. 

Nagala ko na yata ang buong ballroom bago ko namataan si Neo na kakababa pa lamang ng hagdan.

"So what do you think?" tanong nito nang makalapit sa akin.

"Huh?"

"I was watching you from above, nilibot mo ang buong ballroom," he smiled sheepishly. "So what do you think? Was it up to your liking?" 

"Got no problem with the venue," I shrugged. "But I do have something against the drinks," I added raising up my glass. "Wala na bang mas matapang? Red wine is all you got?"

"No, but mom insisted na 'yan lang ang i-serve, drunk guests are the worst guests," sabi niya at kumuha ng isang baso mula sa mga waiter na naglilibot na may mga dalang wine. "And honestly, kagabi ka lang nagpaka-wasted, gusto mo na namang maglasing? Lasinggera ka ba talaga?"

"Judgemental," I rolled my eyes. "Anyway, speaking about last night, why do I don't see Val or any of your friends anywhere?"

"My friends are all busy, and Val, well, busy or not, she's not coming," he shrugged.

"Why?" pang-uusisa ko naman.

"Let's just say that Val's relationship with my parents is not good."

Tumingala naman ako sa kaniya pagkatapos niyang sabihin iyon. Bigla akong nakaramdam ng inis, I was already wearing a three-inch heels pero mas matangkad pa rin siya sa'kin. 

Nag-usap pa kami sandali bago umakyat ang MC sa ibabaw ng makeshift na stage at sinimulan na ang program. Naghiwalay na kami ni Neo and went to sit with our parents.

Pagkatapos ng program ay kainan na, pagkatapos ay binuksan na ang dance floor. Sinimulan nina Mr. and Mrs. Valencia ang sayaw, maya maya ay isa isa na ring tumayo ang mga couple sa paligid namin upang sumayaw rin.

I was actually expecting that my dad would ask my mom to dance too, but they just sat there, napailing na lamang ako.

"Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Melendez," pare-pareho kaming napatingin sa lalaking bumati sa kanila, napataas naman ang kilay ko nang makita si Neo. "I hope you're enjoying the party," matamis ang ngiti na aniya.

"We are, Neo," tumango naman si mom.

"Great, so may I ask your daughter for a dance?" 

"Of course, hijo," sagot ni dad, I saw a strange smile on his face so napataas nang bahagya ang kilay ko.

"Let's dance?" inilahad niya ang kamay niya sa'kin. "It would be embarrassing if you say no," he added. I just rolled my eyes and took his hand.

"Do you always ask other girls to dance when your girlfriend's not around?" I arched my eyebrow at him.

"God, no! But it felt lonely to just sit at our table when people are dancing," he said, looking around the crowd. "Besides, you're the only one I know around here, saan ba kumuha sina mom ng mga taong umattend dito?"

"Besides, babae ka ba talaga?" dagdag pa niya.

"What?"

"Nevermind," he said and chuckled. I narrowed my eyes at him, iniinsulto niya ba ako? Hindi ba ako mukhang babae? Probably because I'm so much cooler than him.

"Inggit ka lang," I shrugged, lumakas naman ang tawa niya.

Nagbangayan pa kami sandali bago niya ako hinatid sa table namin dahil masakit na ang paa ko, his parents were there too though so he decided to stay as well.

"You guys look like you're getting along well," pagpuna ng mom niya.

"Well, aside from you," I gestured at the four of them. "He's the only one I know around here, Mrs. Valencia," I added.

"Please, Sienna, you can just call me Tita, from now on, or better yet, just call me mom," she said. 

"O-kay?" I said slowly, looking over at Neo who was also sporting a confused expression. "May I ask why?"

"We thought that it would be better for the partnership of our companies to have a closer bond between the owners," my dad explained.

"And what of it? Magkakaibigan na naman tayo," I replied.

"A deeper bond than that, Sienna," my mom said, biglang kumabog nang malakas ang dibdib ko, I think I know where they're getting at, and it's not good. 

"We have decided that you two should be married," Mrs. Valencia said.

"Mom?" Neo immediately contradicted. "What are you talking about? I can't do that!" he said and got out of his chair.

"Neo!" his dad said firmly. "Take your seat, son," he added.

"No! I've permitted you to control my life but this, this is out of bounds," he said, almost pleading.

"Mom, you can't do this," I told my mom.

"Who says?" my mom asked me.

I clenched my hands into fists underneath the table, almost glaring at my parents, and how their selfish decisions would ruin our lives and yet they aren't even thinking about it.

Nanlumo ako, if they have decided on something, mahirap nang baliin ang desisyon nilang iyon. I stared sadly at Neo's retreating back, he can't do this, he loves his girlfriend. I can't do this, I hate marriage.

I've never said it to them before, but I'll say it now.

"I hate you," I said before getting out of my chair and marching out of that place.

***

♕︎

Nanlumo ako, if they have decided on something, mahirap nang baliin ang desisyon nilang iyon. I stared sadly at Neo's retreating back, he can't do this, he loves his girlfriend. I can't do this, I hate marriage.