The following weekend, I flew to Texas for his game. By now, I had several number twenty jerseys in home and away shades. I followed what happened on the field like a pro, but still had trouble watching Killian get tackled or sacked, as the case was in the second quarter. Killian got up instantly then threw a touchdown on the next play. Scorpions won thirty-two to fourteen.The following week was a home game. Malory and I opted to sit down with the other wives and girlfriends. This allowed us to be obnoxiously loud and I discovered what a great cheerleader Malory actually was. I found myself watching our antics a time or two on the big screen and wondered if Killian saw us, too. The Scorpions won seven six, but Killian didn't play well. I could see the fury rolling off him in waves by the end of the game and realized I needed to stay at my apartment that night.He pulled me close in the locker room and we walked to his car. It surprised me when he drove to his house."I don't mind g
I put a lot of thought into my other Christmas gifts for Killiana picture Malory took of us, a heavy-duty silver chain necklace with script metal work saying, "Mine," and a soft wool lap blanket for his feet when he kicked back and watched television. I knew I would use it, too, because he still liked keeping me nearly or completely naked when I cuddled up with him. It was hard to buy for Killian because he had everything, but I was very proud of my choices.Killian bought me a brand-new silver Mustang convertible."But, Killian, you don't even drive a sports car," I said in stunned disbelief."I do now, baby."My hands were shaking as I walked around the polished exterior. "Am I leaving it here at your house?""I hope not. I want you to drive it when you need it.""Someone will steal it from my apartment." I was actually having trouble getting enough oxygen into my lungs and the words came out breathy.He laughed, grabbed me about the waist, and swung me around in a big circle
I began trembling during the ride to the hospital. Malory turned on the heater, but it didn't help. I kept seeing Killian's lifeless body and realized I had to call his mother. I dug my cell out of my pocket and dialed. She answered immediately."He was conscious for a short time." I started crying."Are you going to the hospital?" Her voice had lost the happy inflection it usually held and I sensed her panic."Yes.""I've called Michael's nurse. He's on his way, but it will be a while before I can get there. Hold onto my son, Rebecca. Don't let him go."Hold onto Killian."I will."Malory remained unnaturally calm. There was no way I could have driven at this point. We arrived at the emergency room twenty minutes after we left the stadium. Pete was waiting."They let me ride in the ambulance. Killian's inside. They're doing an evaluation now." Pete said all this as we walked through the doors and made our way to a private waiting room."Was he awake in the ambulance?" I asked
I could do nothing but listen while my heart broke all over again for Beth, Killian, and Michael."Killian didn't speak except to his brother that entire first year. The only reason I fought my husband so badly on turning off the machines was Killian. Michael is his twin and I couldn't separate them. I found a strength I didn't know I had. When school started, I would drop Killian off and he would just stare at me with dead eyes. He spoke to no one, not his teachers or his school friends. I picked him up each day and drove him to the hospital. Killian would walk into the room, take his brother's hand, and start talking. He'd tell him everything and then go home at night completely silent until the following day at the hospital."Beth wiped a tear from her cheek and smiled gently."We found a therapist. He suggested that we keep Killian from his brother's side for two days each week and give him a chance to have time alone with his thoughts; no hospital, just a young boy who would ge
I didn't run for two days. On the third, I angrily pulled on my running clothes and ran until I almost passed out. I pushed again the following morning. It became my daily stress reliever. A week after leaving the hospital, I called Killian's mother."I tried." I could barely speak because of the sobs built up in my throat."I know, dear. Don't cry. Killian will snap out of it. He's stubborn and doesn't want anyone around right now." Weariness was evident in each word Beth spoke."Have you seen him?""Yes, last night. It wasn't pleasant. If not for his injury, I'd take a two-by-four to his head."The thought of Killian in pain made me cringe, but her words also helped me gain control of my emotions. "Is someone helping him?""Not really. Killian works through these things in his own way and eventually he'll come to terms with he isn't infallible. Shit happens and it's not the end of the world."I needed to change the subject. Thinking of Killian alone in his large home, in pain,
I woke up Saturday morning with far more excitement than I'd felt in weeks. I'd been pushing myself harder than ever before. Middle-of-the-pack Cavanaugh was ready to move up a place or two. It felt good to know I had a shot of doing exactly that. It was a four-school track meet and I wanted to know if my preparations would pay off.The starting pistol sounded and the 10,000-meter race began. Within twenty steps I picked an inside line and held my ground. I established my place in the pack and stuck to it. My leg muscles were loose with my fingers lightly touching my palms. I looked ahead, focusing on my goal. I sank into my rhythm quicker than I'd ever done before and let the outside world drift away.At the halfway point, there were two distinct groups. I stayed slightly to the rear of the front one. More runners fell back as the race continued. Eventually, I felt the strain in my legs, but also their power. When the flag signaling the final four laps went up, I usually felt the we
I groaned and pulled the pillow over my head. My head hurt, my body hurt, but worst of all my pride was shattered.I was afraid to open my eyes and find Killian in my apartment. I didn't hear any noise, but continued to assess my surroundings for several more minutes. I finally removed the pillow and squinted into the daylight with one eye.My poor, pathetic head.My mouth tasted horrible and I thought I might be sick again. I scooted my legs around and slowly went to a sitting position.Two pills, a glass of water, and a note rested on the bedside table.Legs,Take the ibuprofen, shower, and eat something. Get some rest today. I'm picking you up for dinner at six.KOver my dead body. Killian MacGregor was not prancing back into my life.My head pounded dully, so I took the pills because I didn't really have a choice. I also spent an hour in the shower, which pissed me off more because it was exactly what the note told me to do. I managed to eat a piece of toast before
Monday morning Killian waited out front and followed me when I took off running. He didn't say anything, just kept pace. I kept him in my peripheral vision even if I didn't mean too. It was chilly and looked like rain was heading in.He stopped at the five-mile mark, slightly shorter than the distance he normally ran, and went back the way he came. I continued and finished my run before the rain began.Killian waited at my door.I looked at him. "Nothing's changed, Killian. This won't work."I watched him close his eyes for a moment before opening them and giving me the smallest hint of dimples."I won't give up, Rebecca, though I know I deserve everything you're putting me through."My rage kicked in. "You have no idea what you've put me through. How many tears I've cried or how many times I'd give anything to be in your arms one last time. I'm broken, Killian. You broke me. I don't want the pain that goes along with being your girlfriend."He leaned in and kissed me. No tongue