Chapter Twenty-three: Quinn

Chapter Twenty-Three

Quinn

I wake up in Archer’s arms, and for the first time since I found out I’m pregnant, everything feels like it’s going to be okay. He made me dinner last night, and went out and got me more Sour Patch Kids before we went to sleep.

I carefully roll over, moving closer to him. It feels so good to have him next to me. Physically, his presence is comforting on its own. But having him here for everything else is almost enough to do me in.

We jumped into a relationship and need to take things slow. He said he likes me but held off moving forward out of respect to Dean, but things are bigger than their friendship now. We have less than a week before we drop the bomb on my family, and I’m fairly sure all four of my brothers are going to have a few choice words for Archer.

Early morning sun filters through the large windows. I forgot to close the blinds last night, and the light is shining right in on Archer. I reach over and take my phone from the nightstand. My blinds are powered, and I can open and close them with an app on my phone.

The room darkens, and I lay back down next to Archer. Two of the cats are in bed with us, and it might be silly to take it as a sign, but I do: the cats like Archer. I’m completely aware of how much I’m becoming a crazy cat lady, but hey, at least I’m not currently single. That has to count for something, right?

“Quinn?” Archer asks softly some time later. I hadn’t quite fallen back asleep on account of an overactive mind. All those things I didn’t want to think about kept popping into my brain. “Are you awake?”

I tighten my arm around him and tip my head up. “Yeah.”

He smiles and kisses my forehead. “I like waking up next to you.”

“I like it too. But you, not me. Because saying I like it too means I like waking up next to myself, right?”

He laughs softly. “Sure. Are you hungry? I’ll make breakfast. Just tell me what you want.”

I wrinkle my nose. “Breakfast and I don’t really get along too well at the moment.”

“Oh, right.”

“But a smoothie sounds good, and easy to digest.”

“I can go get you one.” He smooths my hair back. Neither of us makes a move to get up. Lounging around in bed with Archer—who’s now my boyfriend—feels so damn good.

“There’s stuff in the freezer for it. I used to make smoothies every morning in an attempt to eat healthy. We have donuts and coffee cake at work all the time, and bringing a smoothie with me helped me resist the temptation.”

“I think I went into the wrong line of work,” Archer jokes. “You have parties and donuts at your office.”

“The first Monday of every month we have massages too.”

“Yep. Definitely the wrong line.”

*

I grip Archer’s hand and exhale slowly, eyes on the large TV screen mounted on the wall in front of us. The room is cold, and I’m blaming that on why I’m trembling. But really, I’m nervous as fuck.

“Try and relax,” the ultrasound tech tells me. Archer gives my hand a reassuring squeeze. I tear my eyes away from the screen to look at his face, needing to see into his deep, brown eyes for a second.

Because this is it.

The moment I know will change everything.

“All right, Mom and Dad,” the tech says with a smile on her face. “There’s your baby.”

Archer and I both look at the screen, watching a little white blob come in and out of focus. Something flickers inside of it, and I don’t have to be told to know what it is.

It’s the heart.

Tears well in the corners of my eyes, and I tighten my hold on Archer’s hand. The tech takes a few pictures and then switches something over so we can hear. I turn my head, looking at Archer as the sound of our baby’s heartbeat fills the room. He’s smiling, looking at the screen with emotion in his eyes.

And now I’m a goner.

The tears roll down my cheeks, but I don’t try to stop them. Everything hits me all at once, and my mind races from I’m going to have a baby to that’s my baby’s heart beating and I’m scared and panicked while at the same time maternal instincts are kicking in and I’m feeling incredibly protective of that little flickering heartbeat.

After the ultrasound, we meet with my OB. I think I’m in a state of shock, not really absorbing any of the information the doctor gives me. Thank goodness Archer is there and in doctor-mode himself. Everything looks good with the baby, and we’re given the official due date of March eighteenth, one day after Archer’s birthday. I get a prescription for anti-nausea medication and leave with a spinning head.

“Quinn?” Archer says carefully when we get into the elevator to go back down to the main floor of the building. “Are you okay?”

I swallow hard, hearing the baby’s heartbeat echo over and over again in my head. Archer recorded a clip on his phone and sent it to me, so I have it to reference later, though I don’t think I’ll need to.

“My mom keeps talking about how excited she is to someday plan my wedding.” My jaw starts to tremble and I lose my resolve. Archer takes me in his arms, cradling me against his chest. I press my face into his shirt, not wanting anyone to see me cry. We’re alone in the elevator for now, but that’ll change soon, I’m sure.

I don’t expect Archer to understand my train of thought. Hell, I hardly understand it. But he does.

“I know things didn’t happen the way you thought it would, and I’m sure your parents will be upset. But it’s only because they love you, and because they love you, they’ll come around. Dean too. All your brothers will be there for you, and eventually your mom is going to be pretty damn excited to get another grandchild. Hell, I bet even Jackson will be happy to have a cousin.”

I pull a tissue from my purse and mop up my face before blowing my nose again. Stifling a cough, I turn my face up to Archer’s. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“And as for your wedding…” He trails off, hand going to the back of his neck. If he were to suggest to me right now that we get married, I’m telling him no. Though for the last ten years I’ve been convinced there is no one more perfect in this world than Archer, I can’t do that to him. I want him to marry someone he’s head over heels in love with, not the girl who got knocked up during an attempted one-night stand. Yeah, he likes me. But liking someone isn’t enough to get married.

“You’ll still plan it. And it will be perfect. Maybe having your kid there will make it more special. They can, uh, bring the ring down the aisle or something.”

“Or be a flower girl,” I say quietly. I close my eyes, trying to imagine it, and I can’t. I can always see things panning out, and that vision drives me.

I saw myself getting into MIT. And I did.

I envisioned working at one of the best new software companies in the country. And I do.

Living alone in the city? Yeah, I could see myself doing that before I even took the job.

But having a baby? I can’t picture it. At all. I can hardly even see myself with a big belly. I’d give anything for a cheat code to get around this mental blockage in my head. I have to play the game to get to the end, but if I could at least see how it works out, I’ll be fine.

Not knowing is killing me.

“Breathe, Quinn,” Archer says, hands landing on my shoulders. I let out a breath, just now becoming aware that I’m hyperventilating. “It’ll be okay.”

“You keep saying that, but how? How is it going to be okay?”

“I don’t know. But I do know I want it to be okay, so I’ll find a way.” He moves his hands to my face and looks me in the eye. “We’ll figure it out, Quinn. I promise.”

The elevator dings and the doors open. Archer keeps a steady hold on my hand as we get out, walking through the lobby and stepping out into the summer sun. We grab lunch to bring back to my apartment and sit on the couch once we’re done.

I’m coughing again and feeling run down, and cuddling up with Archer is exactly what I need. We put on a movie and even though there are a million and one thoughts running through my brain, I doze off and fall asleep before the movie ends.

*

Two and a half hours later, I wake up, needing to pee. Archer is asleep, and I slip off the couch without waking him up. The ultrasound photos are on the coffee table, and I pick them up when I get back into the living room, staring at them as I go into the kitchen to get more candy.

“You’re going to be a big sister,” I tell Lily, the biggest of all my cats. And by biggest, I mean fattest. She’s been on a diet for over a year and hasn’t lost a single pound. “He or she won’t be here for a while, but I thought I’d let ya know.” Lily lets me pet her for a minute before walking away.

I take my candy back to the living room, sitting on the edge of the couch by Archer’s feet. After a few minutes of me searching through N*****x for something to watch, Archer wakes up, smiling as soon as he sees me.

He runs a hand through his hair, and that messy-sexy look is doing bad things to me. We never did get our thirty minutes like he promised.

“How are you feeling?” he asks right away.

“Better. Taking a nap helped.”

“Yeah. You needed it.”

“You did too.”

He chuckles. “I haven’t been this well-rested in a while. I forgot what it feels like to not be dead tired.” He sits up, stretches, and swings his legs over the edge of the couch. “If you’re not feeling up to it, then please tell me. But if you are, I’d like to take you out on a date.”

I smile. “I am feeling up to it. Can I have like an hour to get ready? I want to pull out all the stops tonight and look good for you.”

“You don’t have to do anything to look good. But sure, you can have as much time as you want.”

He pulls me in for a kiss before I get up and go into my bathroom. I gather my hair up into a bun and get in the shower to shave myself smooth. Archer is my boyfriend now. We’re going on a date. Even though I wanted to take things slow, I’m okay with sleeping together tonight. Because I am so fucking horny.

“Thanks, baby,” I mumble, looking down at my stomach. I move quickly, curling my hair once I’m out of the shower. I put on my usual makeup, but go for my best pushup bra that makes my already large boobs look ridiculous.

I pull a black dress on top of that, finger comb out my curls to relax them more into loose waves, and finish off with a few pumps of perfume. The smell instantly makes me gag, dammit. I scrub as much of it as I can off my skin, grab my heels, and meet Archer in the living room.

He also changed and looks incredible in dark jeans and a blue button-up shirt. Turning around when he hears me come into the room, Archer’s eyes widen when he sees me.

“You look beautiful.”

My lips curve into a smile. “You don’t look so bad yourself.”

He takes me by the waist, pulls me in, and kisses me. I melt at his touch, heat growing between my legs as his tongue slips into my mouth. It’s tempting to suggest staying in instead of going out. Something tells me Archer won’t object.

“Where did you want to go?” I ask, stopping for air.

Archer seems to have as hard of a time moving away from me as I do from him. “What about Navy Pier? I’ve never been.”

“You’ll love it.”

“Good.” He takes my hand and heads toward the door. “I want to make sure our second date is as memorable as our first.”

I keep the smile on my face, not letting Archer know my confidence is wavering. Not specifically in him, but in this whole situation. If our second date isn’t anywhere near as good as the first, we can forget about a third.

Normally, it wouldn’t be a big deal. But I don’t normally go on a second date with a guy who already knocked me up.