My name is Ken Clarke. Mackenzie Belle Clarke.I was named after my father, Robert Mackenzie Clarke, and my stepmother, Isabella Offner. Isabella and my mother were lesbian partners. I was born and raised in an unconventional home. No father, only two mothers. But I was raised in a home full of love and respect.Ever since I could remember, I never wore skirts nor blouses. I dressed the way my mother and Isabella dressed. Unisex clothes. Pants or shorts, T-shirts and jackets, boots or sneakers. No sandals, no flip-flops and most definitely, no stilettos.I never had long hair. I liked wearing it short like that of a boy, the way Isabella wore her hair. But I was also taught to take care of my body as a girl should, the way my mom did. I would soak myself in bath oils, or apply masks on my face and hair. I would shave as often as required, shower at least two times a day to make sure no trace of sweat and sun would be left on my body.In the world that I grew up in, gender didn’t make
My heart pounded in my chest and I swallowed hard. I took deep breaths, forcing myself not to panic.I felt myself being pushed forward. The intruder did not loosen his grip on me. When we reached the foot of my bed, I found myself being pushed roughly to the mattress.I struggled to pull myself up and put a distance between myself and my assailant. Two strong hands held me by the arms and whirled me around so I was lying on my back against the mattress.For the first time, I saw a glimpse of the intruder. I could make out his face in the little light that came from my windows.I saw a rough-looking man who hadn’t shaved in more than a week. He was big, almost twice my tiny frame. He loomed over me, wearing a vile expression on his face. He pressed his body against mine, pinning me to the bed.“Why, aren’t you a pretty sight?” he asked with a lustful smile on his face.I felt panic slowly creeping through me as I realized his intention, which was clearly visible on his face.“W-what d
I hugged my legs to my chest and leaned my forehead against my knees, tears rolling down my cheeks. I haven’t cried in a long time. Maybe the last time was when my mother and Isabella died. After that, I don’t remember shedding a tear at all. But now, I felt like I was at the lowest point of my life.My best friend just told me to stay away from her and my father just hired some maniac in his twisted attempt to knock some of his twisted sense into me. After escaping that unthinkable situation, I now watched Nicholas beating the living hell out of that man and I couldn’t help crying—in frustration, in relief.The man managed to free one of his hands. This was enough for him to punch Nicholas on the jaw and then quickly push Nicholas off him. He got up on his feet and ran to the direction of my house. I could tell that Nicholas wanted to run after the guy but seeing me on the side of the street in shatters, he decided to walk toward me instead.He knelt in front of me. “Are you okay?” h
All the lights in his living room were on. I noticed that he had a new black leather couch on the mezzanine floor, just outside his bedroom, beside the poker table. I didn’t remember seeing that the first time I was here.The drapes in the living room were fully open, offering a view of the distant lights from the other side of the city.I found Nicholas in the kitchen, looking fresh from the shower too, dressed in a pair of pajamas and white shirt. He was preparing some food.“Hi,” he greeted me. He looked at me from head to toe, studying how his clothes looked on me. I suddenly felt self-conscious. Not in my wildest dreams did I imagine wearing somebody else’s clothes, especially not a man’s. “It was the best I could find that might be comfortable for you. I hope it’s okay.”I nodded. “Th—”“I know,” he interrupted. “Whatever, right?” This time, he had a grin on his face.I nodded again. “Yeah, whatever.”He turned to the bar in the kitchen. “I ordered some food from Margaret. She h
“I don’t care if he didn’t love me, Nicholas,” I said in between sobs. “But what he did was pure evil. You don’t do that to a person. You do not do that to your child. You just don’t!”“Your father should rot in jail for this, if you ask me,” Nicholas said. “But the next step is up to you. And whatever you decide, I want you to know, I will be there for you.”As I rested my head on his shoulder, I realized that I was thankful for him. When I first met him, I wanted to take him down and burn him to the ground. But if I did, then what would have happened to me tonight if he wasn’t there? If he didn’t find it in his good soul to come to my rescue and take me in tonight when I had nowhere safer to go, I’d be on the street, half-naked and crying over my lost virtue.“And while you’re figuring things out, you’re welcome to stay here. I will keep you safe and offer you whatever help you need.”Nicholas sat on my chair, taking me with him. He put an arm around me as I leaned my head against h
I gave him a shy smile. After my dramatic moment last night, I was not quite sure how to act in front of him.I slowly sat up on the bed and without a word, went to the bathroom. I took a couple of deep breaths, allowing my pounding heart to steady.My heart was pounding? Shit!I went to the sink to wash my face and brush my teeth with the new toothbrush Nicholas provided me the night before. I stared at my face in the mirror for a long moment. I have a persistent blush on my face that wouldn’t seem to go away.What the fuck is wrong with me? I was pretty sure that my father’s evil machinations had nothing to do with the blush on my face.When I came out of the room, Nicholas was no longer in bed. Instead, I found a new set of shorts and oversized shirt, along with a new pair of purple slippers on top of the mattress.I dressed in the new clothes that Nicholas provided. I was glad that the boy shorts I washed last night had already dried up. At least I didn’t have to worry about goin
Nicholas forced a smile to his face. “We have a lot of things in common. I’m as stubborn as you are. And maybe I was cursed to have this burning need to always be the hero in helpless situations.”“That’s not true.”He chuckled, wiping the remaining tears on my cheeks. “Is too. Why’d you think I did what I could to save Margaret’s diner? Or why do I hang out with those kids from the other side of town?”“Maybe because you’re really a good person,” I admitted.“Nah! I think I have superhero complex. I always look for desperate situations, damsels in distress and I swoop in and save the day!” He grinned. I could see a small blush on his cheeks.I bit my lips back to keep myself from smiling.This man! He didn’t really have superhero complex; I knew that by now. But to keep his reputation of being a devil-may-care playboy, he didn’t want to admit that he was compassionate by nature, with a good heart, a caring soul.“Okay, Superman. I will accept your offer. But I will pay you. As soon a
I popped my new clothes in the washing machine and dryer. When I came back to the room, holding a hamper of my newly-washed clothes in my arms, I found Nicholas in the room. He was fixing something in the mirrors, which turned out to be built-in cabinets.“What’s up, roomie?” I asked in a teasing tone.“Oh, good you’re here,” he said. He pressed one of the mirrors and it opened smoothly, revealing the closet inside. It was empty. “I’ve cleared this so you can put your stuff in here. If later you don’t find the space sufficient, you can let me know.”How very thoughtful of him. I wanted to argue that it wasn’t necessary but I knew that it was and I was thankful that he was sensitive enough to know this.“Wow,” I said under my breath.“You’re welcome.” Then he fished something in his pocket. He handed me a gold-colored smartphone. It looked brand-new. “You can use this.”“What’s this?” I asked.His eyes widened, as if in shock. “You haven’t seen a smartphone before?”I rolled my eyes. “
Six months later, I graduated from the culinary school and became Austin’s sous-chef. I was getting excellent training from him, and the great thing about that was I didn’t feel like I was working at all. Every day was an adventure for me. Every moment was like play time. I was inventing my own fusions and Austin had considered including them in his official menu. Nick comes to New York at least three times a month. Whenever he had the chance to get away from work, he would come to me. And every time I spent with him was pure bliss, pure treasure. I have never been happier in my life. My happiness didn’t come without a price. I thought now that everything was going quite well in my life, I should let go of all the pain and anger I may still be harboring. There would no happiness without forgiveness, without healing. And to start with that, I forgave my father. The day after my graduation, I flew back to Salt Lake City to visit his grave. Nick went with me. I stared at the words on
I didn’t know how long I slept or how I got home. But when I opened my eyes, it was already morning. I realized I wasn’t lying down on the ground by the beach where I last remembered I was. Instead, a down feather duvet kept me warm as I lay comfortably on a firm mattress. The pillows, duvet, and bed covers were all white, matching the eggshell paint on the walls.At first, I thought I was in a hospital, but then I realized the bed I was in was far too comfortable and a lot wider than a hospital bed. Something about the room I was in was very familiar, as if I’ve been here plenty of times before.The next thing I realized was that I was completely naked under the sheets. I felt tired, as though I went through a rigid exercise regimen the night before. Apart from that, I was feeling a little sore there, too, in my most private part. Shit!Suddenly, I felt movement behind me. An arm draped over my waist and I felt warm kisses on my neck.I panicked!I was with a guy! I was naked! We ha
Ken“Ma’am, are you okay? Ma’am, can you hear me?”“Should we call the police?”I slowly opened my eyes and found the girl in Margaret’s diner and another guy looking at me with worried expressions on their faces. I looked around. I realized I was seated in the driver’s seat of my car, with the seat inclined. The girl was sitting on the passenger seat, holding up a small bottle of mint balm and the guy was kneeling by my car door.“What happened?” I asked, sitting up.“You fainted,” the guy said to me. “You’re lucky I was passing by when you dropped your phone and passed out. I caught you before you could hit your head. I called for help. Are you okay?”I nodded. “Th—thanks.”“Do you want to go to the hospital?” the girl asked.I shook my head. “I’ll be… I’ll be okay.”“Well, I found these on the ground,” the guy said. He handed me the pieces of my phone. “I think you’re gonna need to buy a new one.”He was right. The phone was broken that I doubt any service center could still put it
Nick.I wasn’t able to react immediately. I took a couple of hits before I came to my senses and docked and thwarted all her assaults. It took a while to convince her that maybe she was just late. I offered to get her a pregnancy kit just so she could be sure.I waited days for her to tell me that the tests came back negative, as I was sure they would be. I was positive I never touched her. How could I? I spent most of the night staring at her, watching her sleep. I was in love with her. When I do make love to her, I want her to want it, too. I wanted her to remember me. I wanted to be different from the others she had been with.I called her several times, but she was completely ignoring me. I was beginning to get worried. I realized, too, that since I backed out on my deal with her father, he would no doubt employ somebody else to charm her, woo her. Try to succeed where I failed. Well, I haven’t failed yet. In fact, I was only just starting. There were some things that I wanted to
Nick.I went inside the Rhythemes. This was new. The last time I was in town, this joint wasn’t here, not that it would make much of a difference to me anyway. I was not the type to frequent bars or go to one out of boredom. I didn’t fancy sitting at the bar, watching sex-hungry predators pick up their latest clueless prey.I would rather go to a card house. At least there, I could exercise my brains and make money out of it. No, I’m not a gambling addict. I just happened to be gifted at it. Am I counting cards? Well, where was the fun if you use mathematical equations and probabilities? But desperate times call for desperate measures.When I came back to the States, I had no family left to go to. My father was gone, leaving me with the only property he could afford. The house he left behind was too shabby and major repairs had to be done. I didn’t have enough money to build my dream house. But I couldn’t leave my father’s legacy looking like a shithole. I did what I had to do. In a y
“So, how are you doing?” I asked Brett when he visited me in New York. We were up having beer on the rooftop.“I’m fine,” he said, but his tone was not so convincing. I raised a brow at him. “By that, I mean I’m surviving information overload, trial by fire, meeting up with more people in a month than I ever did in my entire life, and trying to become the great Robert Clarke in approximately two hundred and fifty-five days. I’m losing my bachelor years too fast, but yeah, I’m all right.”I reached out and squeezed his hand. “I’m sorry. It could have been me, you know.”He nodded. “Yeah. You could have been in my shoes. But the thing is, I never dreamed of becoming a chef. I’ve always wanted to be a businessman. I can’t force this fate on you, too. It’s just things are happening too fast, too soon.”“Don’t worry, Brett. You’ll do great. Soon, you’ll be in Forbes magazine as one of the youngest, most successful CEOs in the country. It’s written in your stars. You were brilliant in schoo
Kitten,It had been six months, ten days, three hours and thirty-three minutes. I’m still waiting. Told you I would. Although I hope you never get tired of reading my letters. I will never get tired of writing them—until my last breath, remember?Brett wouldn’t tell me where you are but assured me you were okay. Right now, there is nothing more I wanted to do but to come to you. Nope, I won’t even hug you if you don’t want me to. I just want to make sure you’re okay, make you feel that everything is going to be all right. You’re not alone. You will never be.I love you, kitten.Tears were rolling down my cheeks when I read Nick’s latest letter. Brett comes to New York to check up on me once a month. He brought a bunch of letters and trinkets from Nick since he didn’t know about my new address.Nick was true to his word. He would not stop writing to me. He already said he was sorry. He gave me all the explanations in the world. He’d given me time to process and find it in my heart to
After that, everything was a blur. I felt as if I was floating like a zombie the past few days. I didn’t get much sleep, and it was as if I had matured ten years in a span of ten days. I suddenly needed to handle adult stuff that I wasn’t ready for: meeting with the police, talking to lawyers, and handling a funeral.Things happened quickly. And since an investigation was ongoing, and my father’s company was publicly listed, news of his death would hurt the company and, according to my uncle, my inheritance. He chose to have everything hushed. The funeral was opened only to blood relatives and there was no coverage on the media about it. We were also instructed not to talk to anybody without consulting with our lawyers first.The worst part of it all, I couldn’t talk to anyone about how I was feeling. No matter how bad my relationship with my father was, no matter what a madman I thought he was, he was still my father. And it was never easy losing a parent. Up until now, a part of me
I wish I could say that I was back in Nick’s house and in his life after twenty-four hours. I wish I could say we were back in each other’s arms within a week and that he proposed to me a month after. I wish I didn’t leave, and my life would have been a complete bliss. Nick would have taken care of me and we would have lived a simple but happy life. That would have been how I wanted my story with Nick to end.But life wasn’t always that simple, and it certainly was never easy. And just when you thought you got it all figured out, life throws you out of balance again.Two months. Twenty-eight days. Fourteen hours. Twenty-five minutes.That was how long it had been since I left Nick’s house. That was how long since I last saw him, since I last had a conversation with him.He calls. Every day. Sometimes more than once a day. He also sends me text messages at least three times a day: to say good morning, to remind me about lunch, and then to say good night.He writes, too. The longhand l