Chapter 6: Painful Regrets

"Agh!" I groaned, clutching my head. I slowly opened my eyes and was greeted by an unfamiliar place. My eyes widened in shock when I realized I was in a condo.

Whose condo is this?

What happened? How did I end up here?

"A-Agh!" I groaned again as I felt the pain in my lower body. Because of this, I slowly started to remember what happened last night.

"Oh my God," I whispered, covering my mouth.

I was suddenly dismayed with despair as I remembered everything that had happened between me and that guy. I couldn't believe I had slept with a guy I barely knew.

"Why did I do that?" I asked myself, tears finally falling. I covered my face and sobbed loudly.

I couldn't believe I had done that. I never imagined we would end up like that. I'm not that kind of girl, who would just sleep with a guy she didn't know well.

Why did I do that? Why did I do something that would only ruin my life, my self?

"Leave, once you're awake."

This was written on a note I found on the bedside table, next to ten thousand pesos.

"Damn it! I'm not a prostitute!" I yelled angrily, throwing the lampshade in a fit of rage.

I cried even harder when I thought about it.

I'm not a hooker, I'm not a prostitute, and I can't sell myself for money. I work honestly, but because of that one night, that's what he thinks of me.

Even though my lower body hurt, I managed to get up, pick up my clothes scattered on the floor, and move quickly. It took less than a minute, but I was already dressed and quickly left the room.

I wanted to leave this place and never come back, ever. 

"Van.." I whispered through my tears while holding my cellphone. I immediately called Vanessa as soon as I got into the taxi after leaving the building.

(Thank God you called. Where are you? I've been worried about you, especially Aunt Rosa. I've been trying to call you since last night, but you haven't been answering. What happened? Where are you now?)

I didn’t respond, only crying was my answer. I couldn’t stop the tears. This was the only way I could release some of the heaviness I was feeling, but no, it only got worse because of what happened.

(Why are you crying? Athena, answer me. What happened to you? Where are you? I’m coming to you.)

I could feel the worry in my friend's voice, but it felt like I had lost my ability to speak because I couldn’t answer her questions. I couldn’t tell her what happened last night.

"Van... I’ve done something wrong. Van, I-I didn’t mean to," I stammered, my tears continuing to stream down my face.

(Huh? W-what do you mean? What did you do wrong? I don’t understand, what is it? We’ll talk about it, but first, tell me where you are.)

"Let’s talk at home," I said, quickly ending the call.

I was nervous and scared. I was sure they’d both be angry when I told them about the mistake I made. And not only that, I’d disappoint them.

What will they think of me now? Will it be the same as what that guy thinks of me?

When I got home, I found Aunt Rosa pacing back and forth outside, deep in thought. My heart tightened seeing the worry on her face.

"My God, Athena!" she exclaimed when she saw me. She immediately ran toward me and hugged me. This made my tears flow even more.

"Auntie, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," I cried as I embraced her.

"Shh, it's okay, you didn't do anything wrong. I understand," she comforted me and gently guided me inside the house.

Once we were inside, Aunt Rosa sat me down in the living room and immediately went to get some water from the kitchen.

I felt even more guilty for keeping things from her, something I never should have done from the start. Now, I could feel the overwhelming regret for the mistakes I made toward her.

"Here, drink some water to calm down," she said, handing me a glass of water. I immediately drank it, then wiped my cheeks.

"Aunt Rosa, I'm sorry I didn't come home last night," I said.

"Don’t apologize, I understand why," she replied, which made me go quiet. "Vanessa told me last night that you’re working as a waitress at a bar owned by your teacher."

"You didn’t need to keep that from me, Athena. I would have understood why you did it, but what I don't like is that you're hiding things from me," she added.

There’s still another secret I haven’t told you, Aunt Rosa.

How do I tell her? How do I even begin?

"Aunt Rosa..." I whispered through my tears, which confused her. "There's something you still need to know," I added.

She moved closer and held both of my hands.

"Go ahead, tell me. What is it, Athena?" she asked, making me feel even more anxious.

"That... I slept with a guy... I met at the bar," I said with so much fear. But then, I suddenly felt sadness and pain as Aunt Rosa slowly let go of my hands.

***

I locked myself in my room after talking with Aunt Rosa. I explained everything to her about what happened last night. Aunt Rosa was silent as she listened to me earlier. She didn’t say anything, not even a word of response. The only thing I saw on her face was disappointment.

I know she couldn’t believe what I did. I knew it was my fault—I let my emotions take over. I regretted it so much. I should have stopped myself, I should have never let it happen, but it was too late; what happened, happened.

"Athena."

I looked up at the door when I heard Aunt Rosa's voice. I thought she wasn’t going to talk to me anymore.

I quickly stood up to open the door for her. When I saw her, I immediately noticed she was holding food. The corner of my eyes seemed to heat up because of Aunt Rosa.

No matter what I did, she still worried about me, and she didn’t let me be left in the dark.

"I brought you some food in case you’re hungry," she said as she entered my room. She placed the food on my bed before walking toward me to give me a hug.

"I'm sorry I couldn't speak earlier. My mind couldn’t immediately process what you said, so I stayed silent. Please don’t think I’m judging you. I’m not thinking badly of you for what you did. No matter what, I accept you, and I love you, that won’t ever change."

I broke down and cried so much because of Aunt Rosa’s words. I thought she was going to scold me, but she didn’t.

"So don’t lose hope. I’m still here, I won’t leave you, that’s something you should always remember," she said, tightening her hug around me.

I knew this would pass, I would eventually forget what happened, not now, but in perfect time. And I knew Aunt Rosa would always be there by my side to guide and help me.

"But may I ask..." I turned to face her, my face filled with nervousness and confusion.

"Who is the guy you’re talking about?" she asked, which silenced me.

It was Mr. VIP, the guy I never wanted to see again for the rest of my life.