🎶 cause am hopeful
yes I am, hopeful for today 🎶BARS AND MELODY- HOPEFULThe school bell rang for the last time today. Nobody can understand my anticipation for this hour. It signified the end of my misery.
Covering my face with my hoodie to hide my black eye of yesterday, I jumped out of my seat and began my usual race for the door.
My heart was thumping slowly, yet so loudly that anyone close enough to me would have definitely heard it.
In my escape, I accidentally bumped into someone which sent my glasses flying off my face.
Oh great, now I am blind!
Okay, not blind but no! I have no time for this.
I crouched to feel the ground for my glasses when someone's voice came into my hearing.
"Looking for this?" The person says and I'm sure it's a guy because of the baritone nature and that honestly made me fidget.
Guys in my school don't necessarily talk to me except in extreme circumstances.
You don't want to know the extreme circumstance.
"Uh... Y-yeah I g-guess." I stuttered as I replied, squinting my eyes to know if I can glimpse who he is.
I felt a hand touch my face and slip on my glasses for me. After much blinking for accommodation, a cute brown-haired guy was standing in front of me with his hands in the pocket of his jeans.
"T-thank you?" It came out as more of a question than a statement.
"You're welcome?" He responded with the same tone I used and that kind of made me laugh a little.
I stood rooted and watched as he just smiled and walked away.
Unknowingly, I stared at him as he retreated to wherever he was heading.
On the first encounter, he seems nice.
The sound of a locker being jammed shut brought me back to my senses, and I began running again.
I whizzed by my locker and dropped my AP history text then shutting it and taking off.
He must not see me today...
I chanted that to my inner self while still running but I knew it was a waste.
It had become a daily routine.
Every day had become a cursed cycle, all because of him.
I got to the parking lot and to my surprise he wasn't there, as usual, waiting for me to come out of the building so I could choose which punishment suited me most.
My relief quickly developed into fear as Hunter had never missed a single opportunity to torment me.
I slowed my pace this time around since the coast was clear and stylishly scanned the area for any traces of him.
I successfully got to my bicycle without having seen him and I was about to unchain it when I heard the devil I was avoiding.
His laughter.
He had the guts to laugh, the effontry. While I was here, with my inner self writhing in pain both past, present and anticipated.
I turned my head ever so slightly, to see how far away he was from me. As this had become such a routine, I had gotten used to calculating how much time I have left to escape him.
It's not like he can't catch me even if I run.
He was with his clique, seated on the bumper of his matte black Mercedes car with another hoe standing in between his legs practically rubbing his thighs and her hands going a little high to his illegal area.
With a cigarette in one hand and the other caressing the large buttocks of his lady, he was laughing at what one of his friends said.
They were not very far away from where I was. Looking back at my bike that was chained up, I played a 'guessing game'. A game where I guess how long it would take them to see me. Probably any minute now since I stand out from the crowd. I'm the kid who walks around like a scared puppy.
"Miss Shawn!" A voice boomed out.
I turned my head agonizingly to face my caller also known as my Devil.
"Be a good dog and come over here, okay?" He purred with bitterness and ego as a smirk landed on his lips.
He motioned with his finger for me to go to him. But I don't want to.
I have never wanted to.
But do I have a choice rather?
I sighed and moved grudgingly to where he was and my eyes never leaving the ground.
Why would I go? Why not make a run for it?
I've tried, it never ended well. Whenever I got caught next would gruesome.
I guess, sometimes, you can't escape.
"Now, were you planning on running away without saying goodbye to papa bear?" He pouted mocking the fact that I thought I could evade him.
Everyone around laughed. Not a tiny giggle or an inconspicuous snicker, but loud roaring laughter of mockery.
They all knew the relationship Hunter and I had, but I believe they concluded it was none of their business or were okay with whatever was going on.
To be truthful, challenging him on anything was equivalent to putting your signature on the devil's death contract. I had watched it happen first hand and learnt not to try that in my life.
Even now, I was still admiring the floor; it was a lot safer than looking him in the eye.
"Here, have a cigarette." He said, breaking the silence that had just begun.
I peeped at him without raising my head. His eyes had evident blood shots and a yellow tinge and he was offering me his half-blown cigarette.
He was high again. He was always high whenever he demanded my presence. Like it was an impulse or reflex. When he's not in his right senses, my image pops in his head.
Dealing with that was always dreadful. You don't know if you should just keep silent or retaliate.
"T-t-thank you h-hunter b-but I d-don't s-smoke," I responded like a shivering stray.
His eyes narrowed at me as I had just slapped him twice on one cheek.
"Did you just reject my offer?" Hunter said sounding a little aggravated now.
"N-no! I didn't, I'm sorry." It came as a whisper but it was loud enough so he could hear me.
"Good." He responded as he jumped down from his car bumper and stood right in front of me with irritation dancing in his eyes.
"I will say it again, have a cigarette."
I was still staring at his shoes when I felt a slap so hard it made my neck crack a little and the wound in my mouth from two weeks ago re-opened.
"Are you deaf?" He was shouting now and slapped me again.
This time I fell to the floor.
I still couldn't look him in the eyes, he had warned me against that several times and I am no longer willing to bear the consequences.
I just laid there like the weakling I am, silently sobbing because according to him my sobs should never be heard.
He might be right.
He bent down and held me by the neck to pick me up. His grip was incredibly tight and I am sure he is doing this intentionally to suffocate me.
He lifted his hand again but this time my hands shot up to block my face and my eyes squeezed shut to reduce the impact.
But I didn't feel any hit rather I felt something hot approach my skin.
I opened my eyes and saw him holding his cigarette stick a few inches from my neck.
I looked up to him and I saw that smirk he put in whenever he had an idea.
This time the tears I thought would wait till I got home before exposing themselves began pouring from my eyes.
I glanced between him and his hand after realising what he was planning to do my mouth vomited words on reflex.
"P-please." I mustered the word in between my cry.
But my plea only made him glare at me, I believed there was no heart underneath this bad boy to have mercy.
"Shut the fuck up." He whisper-growled into my ear and took his time in observing my face.
"Little do you know, a black eye suits you." He teased and seconds later he jabbed the burning stick on my neck.
I let out a loud cry as he pressed the cigarette harder so the stick could burn me through. The pain was infuriating.
The hot stick was burning me so deeply I began to perceive the smell of roasted flesh and felt blood trickle down my neck.
Please God, make him stop.
Still strangling me, I started choking, and that was when he threw me down to the ground and threw his cigarette stick some distance away.
I brought my hand to my neck to numb the pain, but I just felt a deep dent of flesh on my neck with blood seeping through it.
I closed my eyes to cry and get myself back together as I waited for him to leave so I could leave also.
"Next time you don't reject my offer." He glared at me as he said his last words for the day before hopping into his car and driving off.
It took me a while to calm myself down but after regaining my composure; I got up from the floor and walked to my bicycle. Still sobbing and sniffing and made my way home.
Where were the teachers? Same question I ask myself everyday.
And it's the end of a normal day for me.
? don't promiseme tonight without tomorrow too, don't say you love me unless you do. ?FIFTH HARMONY- DON'T SAY YOU LOVE ME. After I had gotten home from school, I ran straight to my room to avoid my parents. I really don't know if they're home anyway, but the front door was open so I suspected.Why am I hiding from them? It's not like I haven't complained to them about what is going on. I have but they just told me to 'endure it.' They claim that with time he would give up on what he's doing.I HAVE TWO MORE YEARS IN THIS FREAKING SCHOOL AN
🎶 I've been waiting for a magic moment, but maybe there are magic moments 🎶SIA- MAGIC I got up earlier than my alarm clock this morning.... believe me when I say its becoming something usual. I had a really hot bath before looking at my reflection in the mirror.Jesus Christ! I look like a zombie just gave me zombie-cooties. The burnt dent in my neck had a black pink coloration, my black eye had began to clear up leaving a purple botch around it and my ribs still hurt from all the falling I did yesterday. Arrrrrgh!!! I need a complete makeover!! It took a complete hour to cover up my horrendous flaws, and by then the sun was already up too.&
🎶 I'm never gonna let you close to me, even though you mean the most to me, cause everytime I open up it hurts 🎶SAM SMITH- TOO GOOD AT GOODBYES I woke up with a terrible headache and tried sitting up. It was so damn hard I even began thinking that I had been drugged or possibly paralyzed.I looked round where I was and noticed it's the schools clinic.how??That's when I remembered everything with hunter running off and hitting my head on the locker.I turned my head to the left and saw the nurse typing on her computer."Miss Joanne?" I called out to her and she jolted away from her system." Oh my goodness, you're awake!" she responded almost shocked I had woken up. Immediately, she stood from her chair and came up to scan my forehead with her e
🎶 cause everybody has a dark side and I'm across, never meant to be the bad guy but now I'm lost 🎶ZARA LARSSON- DARK SIDE After having my bath, I put on a plain white shirt with shorts and laid on my bed. Just staring at my ceiling. Too good at goodbyes by sam Smith blaring through my headset and I laughed at the sudden coincidence of my playlist and my life. This song is a technical motivation to block out so many toxic people in my life right now. like Vicky.. Vicky was my friend at my early days in school but she walked out of my life last year when Hunter had asked her to be his girlfriend.Yeah, she left me. I really don't bl
🎶 And i have never had someone to call my own,I've been looking for a real one to hold on to 🎶MARSHMELLO FT KHALID- SILENCE Oh shit Instinctively, without even turning around, my hand's shot up to cover my face, in case of any impending strikes on my body. Spilling my milkshake and dropping my food on the gravel that was damp with dew."I'm sorry, the nurse told me I wasn't stable enough to stay at school so I went home, I'm so so s-sorry, please don't hit me" I whimpered in fear hoping he might have mercy since we were in public."the nurse?" He asked with confusion in his voice and that was when I realized that voice didn't belong to Hunter. I perked my head up to see who it was. It's
🎶 This could be the start of something new, It feels so right To be here with you 🎶 HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL- START OF SOMETHING NEW. The rain had stopped and now just a few drops grazed the floor at a time with a very damp wind. We pulled up in front of a restaurant with an enormous parking lot a few minutes later. After staying in the car for what felt like ages, I decided to speak up."what are we doing here? I thought you were gonna take me home?" I asked looking at the huge restaurant in front of the vehicle with a large signboard above it glowing in the night sky. It read creème.
🎶 I wanna hide the truth I wanna shelter you But with that beast inside There's no where we can hide 🎶IMAGINE DRAGONS- DEMONS The dinner was mostly quiet, well more like Clement asking questions and me just blinking or nodding. Once I was done with my spaghetti, which seemed like a shock to me cause I never realized how hungry I was. Clement and I made our way back for the car and set out as it was already some minutes past nine. After a while of driving, I decided to speak. I turned to face him and opened my mouth" Thank you for the dinner, I'm sorry I couldn't pay for anything... I didn't have enough money on me since I'll need a little fare to get back home" ri
🎶 I've been looking for a savior I've been looking for a real one to hold on to, I've been looking for a savior 🎶SAVIOR- IGGY AZALEA FT QUAVO After a few curves and turns we were approaching the restaurant. I sat up on my chair, getting ready to hop out. But he just passed by the building. "err-you've p-passed the place" I muttered to him."yeah, I know. I'm dropping you off at home" was his curt response and he continued driving without giving me a glance. Maybe I really offended someone who just bought me dinner." Do y-you need my ad-ddress?" God why am I such a whimp." Not necessarily. I know where I'm headed" his words came out through slightly gritte
🎶 can I just turn back the clock, Forgive my sins. I just wanna roll my sleeves up, And start again 🎶START AGAIN- ONEREPUBLIC FT LOGICHUNTER'S P.O.V————————" I still can't believe you left lovelyn with that Zoe girl " Dylan exclaimed as he made his way into the kitchen.I on the other hand was on the couch, watching this movie that he picked out saying it was fun. And I regret leaving him to make the choices." Well the girl has always been disturbing me for a favor she owes me and I seized the opportunity " I shrugged " Did you just call handing over your little sister to a complete stranger an opportunity?" He emerged from the kitchen with a new bowl of popcorn and a roo
🎶 tough times don't last But tough people do 🎶I BELIEVE - DJ KHALED FT DEMI LOVATO.I was back at the reception area sitting quietly with hopes of waking up any moment from this nightmare.Mom helped me walk out of the room as the doctor began removing appliances and connections attached to Jan's body. And I was in no mood to argue. Dad was sitting by my side all this while as I held onto him for comfort. I had already asked him quite a number of times if I was dreaming but I received a negative reply. Then I changed my course.I asked if he was dreaming instead.Trying hard not to laugh, he also gratified me with a negative answer. So I accepted my fate and maintained silence. Except if this is Mom's dream though.
🎶 Mama you're okay now. You're safe now, okay. You're in a better place now. I'll see you another day now. 🎶UOK- NASTY C Bonjour everyone!!Everyone, bonjour!! Why I'm so happy?, well today is the twelfth day into the month of September and guess what? It's also my birthday.Give me an A! Hahaha. So much for beginning to take responsibility. Did I make mention that today was also the day I was allowed to take my babies home.Yay us! They've finally completed nine whole months!They're so grown up.*Sniffles tears*" The earlier you
🎶 If there is one thing that I'll never learn is, If you play with fire You're bound to get burnt but, Bad Bitches don't cry 🎶BAD BITCHES DON'T CRY- BEBE REXHA. " What color do you want? Purple or blue?" Mom asks holding the pedicure kit in her right hand as she takes position on the floor of my feet. After I came back home, I decided it was time to let them in, so I told them everything that had happened to me, even the reasons why I tried taking my own life. And they promised to stand by me and support me. They planned on confronting Mr Brooks about his son but I went against it. That would only cause more problems than it already had, but then again they
🎶I've found no cure for the loneliness, I've found no cure for the sickness.Nothing here feels like home, Crowded streets but I'm all alone🎶HOME- X AMBASSADORS, MACHINE GUN KELLY & BEBE REXHA. " Iris? honey you awake?" Clement's mom, Mrs Phoebe calls out as she opens my bedroom door by a squeak for fear of waking me if I wasn't already up. But I have been up for the past two hours. The discomfort is killing me."yeah I am, good morning Mrs Phoebe" came my airy response as I tried to get up from my lying position.keyword Tried.She made three quick strides into the room and used two hands to drag my heavy butt off the bed.
🎶 who gon' pray for me take my pain for me sing a song for me 🎶PRAY FOR ME- THE WEEKEND FT KENDRICK LAMAR A week later and I was discharged from the hospital with a long scar stitch on my left forearm and a complete first trimester. The bump of my belly becoming a little observable so I did as much to get involved in wearing oversized tops. Well, I still had to stay at home for another week cause Megan won't let me move an inch and my parents secretly pleaded with her to keep me there so they could have a chance to talk to me. And I laughed in the face of chances.hahahaha. But today has been two weeks since my discharge and I'm on a ride to school with Meredit
🎶 suicide if you ever try to let go I'm sad I know, yeah I'm sad I know,yeah🎶SAD - XXXTENTACION beep. beep. beep. Continuously repeating itself meanwhile my body felt stiff. I inhaled a really deep breath and caught a whiff of disinfectant mixed with bleach. something's not right. Opening my eyes by an inch, all I saw was white.could this be heaven? But pastor's always said in paradise all things are beautiful. So heaven should at least smell like a lovely fragrance? I opened my eyes wider and saw a loop of wires.definitely not heaven.So
🎶 so I peel my skin, and I count my sins, and I close my eyes, and I take it in.I'm bleeding out, I bleed out for you 🎶BLEEDING OUT- IMAGINE DRAGONS. Another morning and I'm still finding it difficult to get out of bed. This nausea and fever is really getting to me. Tossing and turning on the bed, trying to find a comfortable side but all efforts proved futile. To my luck, school was cancelled today.why you ask? It's been two months since the school's football team had left and they returned last week Friday with second place. Our position was due to Cole's injury in the semi finals, but the school was proud of them none the less. And to prove t
🎶 The more I read it, yeah the more I take offense 🎶EVERYBODY HATES ME - THE CHAINSMOKERS It's been a week. A week since I spoke to Meredith. A week since I heard from Clement. A week since my parents bothered me.So yeah, it's been a really long week. I was leaving my locker to attend my last class for the day, A shadow casts in my line of sight, but from the bangs and waves, no need to confirm the person."hey" Meredith's whisper came out a lot shallow than her personality could reach. I took that chance to look at her. After a week, Meredith looks dull. The light in her eyes faded, but still held an ounce of hope. Hope that my thoughts might have changed after a week.