Chapter 4

Sienna cried her heart out on Kim's shoulder. She was only 23 and already pregnant, but her age wasn't what scared her. Sienna could not afford to raise a baby, her family barely survived through the month, and their house was in no condition for an infant. She would have to stop working for a few months, which meant no income... and the billionaire's money wouldn't last forever. 

Sienna didn't want to bring the baby up in a life where she or he would struggle. Plus, she wasn't mentally prepared to be a mother and keeping the baby meant that she would raise it alone. She would have no help from the billionaire... heck, he wouldn't even know he was a father. All she knew was his name, and by now, he was probably back in South Africa. There was no way Sienna could get in touch with him, nor did she want to. 

"Okay... uhm, we marry you as soon as possible, so at least then you'll have a husband," Kim suggested. 

"That would be unfair to the man I marry. Plus, the billionaire had blonde hair and blue eyes... how do I explain that if the baby has the same features?" Sienna shook her head. She and Kim had been brainstorming ideas on what to do. 

"Shit! True, uhm... well, we have 3 options. You keep the baby, give it up for adoption, or I'm sorry to say this, but have an abortion." 

"Kim, I don't even have money to go to the hospital to give birth." 

"Girl, you have a lot of thinking to do. I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you need to make a decision and quickly. You fell pregnant 3 weeks ago... and a babies heartbeat develops at 5 weeks. If you choose to have an abortion, I suggest soon before it develops further." 

"What would you do?" Sienna asked and looked at her friend for an answer. 

"I can't answer that. You need to decide on your own, but I'll support you no matter what. If you choose to keep the baby, then we can raise it together." Kim smiled. 

Sienna nodded and gave her friend a hug. Kim was a true friend, but Sienna would feel too guilty if Kim helped her raise the baby. She wouldn't put her responsibility onto another person, which was why adoption was out of the picture. 

Sienna stuffed the pregnancy tests at the bottom of her bag to keep them hidden and left Kim's apartment heartbroken. She at least stopped crying and walked home, where she pretended everything was still good. She would be such a great disappointment if her parents found out she was pregnant before marriage, and things had just started to get better. 

"Mom, how did you know Dad was the one?" Sienna asked as she washed the dishes. Her mom sat at the table sorting through documents that stated how much debt they had. Her Dad had already turned in for the night, and Hanuel was still at the hospital. 

"Oh, well, he was kind to me and looked after me without expecting anything in return. Your father has a good heart which is how I fell in love with him. After we had you, I knew that the heavens had put us together. I guess when you meet the right person... you just kind of know." 

"Okay." 

"Why do you ask, my daughter? Have you met a man?" Her mom inquired with a hopeful smile. 

"No, no... nothing like that." Sienna quickly replied, embarrassed. She felt her cheeks were on fire as she started blushing and kept her head down so her mom wouldn't see. 

"Don't worry, love will come to you. You're only 23 and have a life full of great potential ahead of you." Her mom added with a yawn. She then kissed her daughter on the cheek and went to bed, leaving Sienna alone with her thoughts. 

Potential... with a baby? Her life felt like it had come to a standstill. All of her hopes of working hard and eventually finding love had come to an end. If she kept the baby, then who would take care of the baby while she was at work? Both her parents could barely move around on their own, and Kim also worked. Who would want to be with a woman who has a child from another man? Yes, it did happen, but only lucky women found someone to love them and their babies. Sienna wasn't lucky, and she was not remarkable. She was a nobody. 

The next morning Sienna left the house early to go shopping before work. She spent the whole night tossing and turning. She didn't sleep and thought about what she wanted to do; eventually, she came to the brutal truth and realised she didn't even want to be a mother. The thought hadn't even crossed her mind before. Yeah, maybe one day she'll have children, but first, she wanted to be earning enough money and find a good husband. Sienna decided she had made up her mind. She would save her own life and not let the baby suffer, so after one night, she decided the best option was an abortion. 

Luckily, North Korea made abortions legal this year so she wouldn't have any problems. Sienna knew that the decision was made quickly, but she didn't want to wait any longer and risk the chance of changing her mind. 

She walked into the busy streets of the shopping centre and watched as everyone set us business for the day. She walked past a clothing store where they had a set of black underwear on display, which made her remember what the billionaire said. 

"... buy new underwear. Black preferably." 

Sienna found that she walked into the store and touched the fabric of the underwear. It was soft and felt fragile against her fingers. 

"It would look good on you." A kind lady stated and smiled at Sienna. The lady grabbed a pair for herself and walked off towards the changing rooms. 

She grabbed her size, found a matching bra, then paid for the items and left. Sienna's heart was beating rapidly as she gripped onto the bag where the underwear was in. Why did she buy this? Why did she care about what the billionaire thought? She wasn't ever going to see him again... yet she found herself still drawn to him. 

She walked past the abortion clinic, and after passing it about 5 times, she gained the strength to go inside. 

"Hello Miss, how can I help you?" A nurse asked at the front desk. 

"I... want to have an abortion." Sienna softly replied and looked away from the nurse. 

"Okay, Miss. Fill in this paperwork so long. We are fully booked but have an opening for the day after tomorrow at 10am. Is that fine with you?" 

Sienna nodded and went to sit down in the waiting room to fill out the documents. She filled in her personal information and moved on to the questions. 

Night of unprotected intercourse: 6 November 2018

Identification of father: Not known 

Please mark how the pregnancy occurred: Work-related, recreational, non-consensual assault such as rape. 

Tears sprang to Sienna's eyes as she read over the question. She had been given money in return for sex... so work-related was the true answer. Yet, instead, she ticked the last option as it would cause less judgement and quickly finished up the paperwork. She handed the nurse the papers and hurried out of the clinic. 

She ran into a man outside who lost his balance. 

"I'm so sorry," Sienna said through tears and looked down at the man. He had on an oversized brown coat and dyed his hair silver which made his light brown eyes stand out. 

"Miss..." He started to say, but Sienna walked off. She cried and couldn't believe that she was actually going to kill her baby. 

*** 

Later that night, Sienna tried on the underwear she purchased and stared at herself in the mirror. Her hand held onto the cufflink as her other hand touched her stomach. She hated that she still thought of the billionaire and wished she had never taken his deal. Why didn't the bastard wear a condom or at least pull-out? 

She sunk to the floor and cuddled her own body. 

"I'm sorry. I wish I could be a good mother to you..." Sienna cried and whispered to herself as if the baby could hear. 

***

"Miss Chae-Soo? The doctor will see you now." The nurse called. Sienna looked up and squeezed Kim's hand, who came with to give her support. Today was the day of the abortion. 

"Good luck, girl! Stay strong." Kim encouragingly smiled as her friend stood up. 

Sienna walked into the doctor's office, and the nurse placed her documents on the table before walking out. 

"Hello, I'm doctor Krystal." The doctor greeted, and Sienna was thankful it was a woman. "I know this is a big decision, but I'm here to help you all the way, so no need to be afraid. I'll start by giving you an ultrasound. This will make 100% sure that you are pregnant and tell us exactly how far into the pregnancy you are." The doctor explained and showed Sienna over to an examination table. 

"Is this your first pregnancy?" The doctor asked, and Sienna nodded. The doctor then helped her lay down and asked Sienna to lift her shirt; luckily, Sienna chose to wear a loose shirt and skirt for the appointment. The doctor proceeded to rub a cold jelly-like substance onto her lower stomach and switched on the ultrasound machine. 

A scan of her uterus showed up on the screen as the doctor pressed an instrument against her stomach. Sienna watched the screen and tried to understand what she was seeing. 

The doctor pointed to a small bean-shaped object on the screen and smiled. 

"That's the baby." The doctor stated, and tears rolled down Sienna's face. She couldn't force herself to look away and felt mesmerised by the little bean growing inside of her. After seeing the baby, Sienna's heart overtook her mind, and she realised she was doing the wrong thing.

"It's just over 3 weeks old and appears healthy." The doctor added. She wiped away the jelly and handed Sienna a tissue as she cried. "I know this is a tough decision, but you need to do what's best for both you and the baby." The doctor remarked and then asked, "Are you sure you want to proceed with this abortion?" 

Sienna was about to reply when the door flew open and slammed against the wall. The sound gave her a small fright, and she looked towards the door to see who had barged in. Her heart started racing as she recognised the man. How was he here? 

Billionaire Declan Foster stormed into the doctor's office with his blood boiling. He didn't care who tried to stop him, but he needed to stop the waitress before it was too late. 

"You will not kill my baby!" He barked and marched over to Sienna, who started shaking from the sound of his loud voice.

"Sir, this is a private establishment. I must insist you leave." The doctor firmly said. 

"Not without her, I won't." The billionaire hissed and made his way over to the bed.

"Who are you, sir?" 

"The father of this unborn child." He aggressively replied and grabbed onto Sienna's wrist. He also took the documents on the table and stormed out of the clinic while dragging Sienna with him. 

"Sienna!" Kim shouted and ran after them. 

"I'm okay!" Sienna yelled back to her friend before Declan shoved her into a car. He stormed around to the other side and climbed into the back with her. The driver started the engine and drove off, and Sienna gulped as she looked over at Declan, who was breathing heavily. He didn't look happy to see her.