ELIAS
….
Third stupid year started some weeks ago, and men! I feel on top of the world, cause not only would I be out of the fucking hellhole soon, but also because of the fact that am all alone, just like how I like it.
Alone?
Why on earth would anyone like to be alone?
To give a brief flashback, let me take you back to my pathetic damn sad story.
First year: I was bullied like a complete dickhead, that nothing good I do made anyone happy, they didn't even fucking cared that I was a living human, but that wasn't the climax, hell no!. The climax was my father, the only family I had left, dying and leaving me behind all alone, but life, fucking life finally became absolutely shitty and pointless when I found out that the fucking one I dated, only dated me so that he could learn all my secrets and sell me off to the freaking bullies, that was the finally draw...
It made me cut myself away from the world, and vow to never tolerate any shit from anyone ever again. Fast forward to the present and a brief introduction, I am Elias, the mysterious heartless dangerous guy that's immune to any emotion apart from anger and violence, and the mad depressed guy who cuts himself when he feels worthless, blah blah blah…
In conclusion, I am no prince charming, especially when I fought like a mad man with my roommate and his damn friend, after they decided to bring alcohol into the room.
One ended up dying because he was a fucking drunkard, while the other damn one ran away like a stupid loser, and accused me of being the murderer (How wonderful), and trust me, I was kinda grateful for it, cause I would actually be put behind bars, like what I freaking wanted, cause I wanted to leave this hellhole university cause I have no damn interest in graduating, but no, the damn housemaster just had to defend me like an angel, and refuse to let me go, my inner demons tells me he did that out of pity, but I want no fucking person's pity.
Anyway and on the bright side, even though the fucking housemaster defended me, save my ass, and made the case die down, still every useless beings still gossip about me, and stay far away from me, and so far so good, it has given me peace, but this peace of mind didn't lasted long than I expected, cause today, the damn door in a long time barged open, and a damn pathetic human walked in....
"What the fuck!.."
....
LUCAS
....
"It's now or never"
I whispered inwardly to myself, slipped my useless dead phone into my pant's pocket, as I took one last deep breath, and knocked on the door with my racing heart, but when no one replied and it remained dead silent, I decided to open the door, but immediately I as much took a step inside, I saw....him, a guy, he was staring at the outside window, and his back was facing me, so I couldn't see his face, but all I knew was that he had this tall somewhat...sexy figure, he was taller than me, that's for sure, and it immediately got my damn perverted mind thinking, but I immediately snapped myself out of it, and decided to act normal
"H...hi"
Damnit, I stammered!
I swore at my stupid self, and placed my palm on the back of my head nervously, in hope he would let my stammering word slide, and finally bring himself out of whatever he was thinking, and look at me, but he didn't even move a muscle, and it made my heart race, cause it didn't look normal to still stay still, and...and...
"Was he even alive?"
A damn thought popped into my head, and made my heart race faster, so I dropped the bags I was holding on my other hand, and decided to walk up to him.
"Hello, your new roommate is here..."
I spoke out as I moved more step closer, even though men!, it was a completely cheesy thing to say, but...but he still didn't reply, and it made me increase my footsteps to meet him, until I saw close enough, but before I could as much finally place my hand on his shoulder, and touch him, he turns around at last, but immediately he does so, he slaps my head as if I was some kind of virus
"Don't you even dare"
He mumbled a deadly comeback as he looked away, shifted away from me, and gave us distance, and it kinda made the fear and nervousness I had, replaced with this dumbfounded expression, cause I literally didn't understand what was happening, and what kind of fucking roommate behaves so coldly to his new roommate on the first day, and it made me so angry, but I still wanted to let out my frustration in a calm manner, cause of what the housemaster had told me, but before I could, I heard him mumble something out to himself, but it was loud enough for me to hear
"What gave the fucking old man the right to bring some dickhead in here?..."
He mumbled, and squeezed his face, I was the dickhead he was referring to, the dickhead who was so dumbfounded
What on earth is literally happening right now!
The frustrated side of me took over, and made my lips finally parted out angrily
"Excuse me, but..."
I looked at the side of his face I could see, and tried to speak, to ask him that wasn't it too cold to insult me, a stranger he had never seen before, right in my face, but hell no, this Mr. cold guy cuts my words off again like a sharp knife
"If you don't want this to be your worst last two years here, you need to leave"
It wasn't a plea, it was a fucking goddamn threat!
He arched one of his eyebrows up, and finally looked at my face, and gives me this kind of somewhat deadly glare, but I don't feel too frightened, instead all I see behind the façade of coldness is something dying, something partly alive, as if he was into drugs or something, but it was definitely something so wrong
"Was he even alright?"
The thought flashed into my head, but I didn't wanted to show it, hell no, cause it felt like pity would be the last thing he wanted from me, so I mentally slapped myself, and parted my lips again
"But I have already moved in, and I've..."
But before I could complete this sentence as well, he moves closer to me, and pierced his dark ocean eyes deep into mine. He was fucking glaring at me, trying to peak into my soul, to crush it maybe, and it was working, men it was so damn scary, and literally made my heart jump into my mouth, but I hated it, I hated this control, power...
Damn this shit!
I screamed inwardly to myself and tried to back away from him, but I miss my footstep, and land on my butt on the hard floor, but the worst part?, the worst part was this blue eyes heartless guy didn't even help me up like they do in movies, but rather scoffed out, and placed his hands on his baggy jeans pocket as he looked at me all the way down
"I don't think your damn head understand that this room is condemned, cursed, haunted, cause the person that was here..."
He stops his sentence, and I bet he fucking did that intentionally to make me more scared, and damn it worked!, it worked so well, and made me immediately parted my lips
"What ha...happened to the person!"
I looked at him all the way up like a lost baby, and stammered out even though I didn't fucking wanted to, and to be honest, I thought I saw a wicked little smile creep up on his lips, but it immediately vanished away, so I guess I was seeing things, and...
"He died like a loser..."
His husky low voice cut me off heartlessly as he hit my leg intentionally, and walked away from my front, and I guess it was because he didn't wanted to look at my miserable face, but still, my lips that didn't care if he was that wicked, blurted out a loud "WHAT??", and immediately I yelled out, I heard his voice, he scoffed out, and I bet he was enjoying every bit of it, and it made me freaking hate the fact that I was such a damn scared baby, but what could I do when every of his words sounded like poison to me
"Oh, so the old man didn't tell you?"
I heard his low voice again, he asked me, and scoffed out even louder a frustrated mocking one
"Scared, aren't you?"
I heard his voice, and defend to myself, but my tongue is tied again
"If you don't want to die, then leave"
But when I heard him mention death, I lose it, and snapped at last
"Stop freaking saying death, it freaks me out"
I gather the little courage I had in me, and yell out as soon as I got up from the floor to my feet, but he turned around, glanced at my pathetic self with the same blank cold expression on his face, before walking out of the room, and leaving me with my shaky breathing. I was literally hyperventilating, and that was when I finally realized I had walked into the valley of death!
Was he a demon?, I don't think so...
HE WAS THE DEVIL HIMSELF!
ELIAS..."Is it that you're getting old, or have forgotten the damn incident that you literally chose to bring a new scapegoat into my room"I said...No, I yelled it out all at once immediately I stomped up to the damn housemaster with my voice pissed and ill mannered, but he didn't seem to care about the way I spoke to him. Instead, he sipped his damn coffee some more, that I wish I could just throw away, before finally looking at me"We, or should I say, I know you didn't kill anyone"He said with a cheerful smile on his shitty face, and placed his coffee on the table, even though I wasn't smiling one bit, because I was keen on making this old man get it into his damn skull that I was nothing but poison"I would do it..."I yelled out and looked straight into his eyes"I would make that green eyes life hellfire"I spat out at him, but he?, he only shrugged my words off as if it was nothing, and it fucking made my blood boil ten times more hotter than before, so I slammed my hand har
LUCAS...At least the sun is shinning today...I woke up very early, and left for my lecture, cause I don't want to have to deal with that dickhead when he wakes up. Am at least glad that nuisance sleeps like a pig, and he ain't an early riser.As I walked to class, a thought popped into my head "Did he even attend any lectures at all?", but I immediately waved it aside, cause who was I to care about that trashy foul mouthed dickhead, and especially after all he had said to me yesterday, what a warm welcome indeed!I scoffed out as I thought to myself, but what made me more mad was the fact that when I went to the housemaster to complain about that blue eyes, all he said was that I had to deal with it, but how exactly on earth was I suppose to deal with a damn guy like that, that literally threatened me with my life, How!!??My mind was exploding, literally fucking exploding, as I died deeper into my thought, and scribbled out some nonsense in my book to ease my anger, but it didn't w
LUCAS...I left that dickhead, and returned back to the class, thank goodness the lecturer wasn't there yet, or else my first official day would have been ruined because of that pile of shit, but I don't still feel at ease, so I typed with my phone as I walked, about the person that was murdered by the damn blue eyes, but what I got was that the toxic guy was innocent, and honestly, it made me so damn confused, if the internet was wrong, or if the university only covered up the shit that damn guy did, and if it was the case, that was so fucking messed up and disgusting!, but I couldn't still help feeling like I was in a maze, and it kinda made me think about that bright eyes that I had spoke with a while ago, so I wanted to ask him what he thought about this, but sadly, some trashy person was already sitting on the spot I sat down on, and he kinda looked like a thug, so I didn't wanted to look for trouble, and ruin my low profile, so I walked away from that direction to sit somewhere
ELIAS.....After I had calm down and reminded myself of a reason to hate that British asshole, I returned back into the room, only to meet him still sitting down on the floor like a broken mess, and yes I don't feel any shitty remorse, rather it made me scoff out."If you keep sitting on the cold floor, you would freeze and be dead before sunrise"I tell him coldly, but still in the most genuine way I could cause it was the truth, but all that asshole did was glare at me with his swollen eyes that was as a result of his shitty tears...that was because of me, and looked away"If I die, it's none of your fucking business!"It was toxic, and he literally replied that way to me as he shifted his gaze away to the side, but I don't care, yes I don't care about his shitty damn drama, or if he listens to me, cause it was his pathetic funeral, and to think again, if he dies, he would finally be out of my life for good, and maybe finally make me get arrested at last, so I looked back at him wit
WARNING, THIS CHAPTER MADE MENTION OF SELF HARM RELATED STUFF, READ WITH CAUTION.....LUCAS...."What the...""Bl...blood?"My voice broke as I saw cotton wool covered with blood, and it made all the adrenaline in me spike up, my thought did as well too, cause what the heck, what the HECK!!!!I rubbed my forehead, as I tried to think, to reason, to bring out a fucking explanation for it, but I don't think he had gotten hurt recently, so could this be from his new victim?My thought murdered me, and made my breath shake, as I immediately trued to back away from the bin, and run out of the room, but my shaky clumsy leg kicked it again in the process, and it spat out a burnt picture of person...someone, and seeing the picture come out of the bin, a curious side of me that I was sure would be the cause of my death, made me literally move closer to see who it was, and when I moved closer to the bin, and took the picture in my hand, even though some side were burnt, I could still make out
ELIAS...I walked into the room, tired cause it's been a long damn day, and I didn't wanted any shit anymore, but what did I see there?....I see some no good nobody having the damn gut to snoop into my stuff...my fucking diary, without having a second thought, and any foresight in his empty skull"What the fucking hell..."I yelled out with all the rage boiling inside me as I rushed up to him, grabbed the book from his damn hands, and pushed him away, making him fall on the hard floor, but I don't care, I don't fucking care how he squeezed his face and let out a little groan, hell no, I don't fucking care about any single shit"What gave your damn filthy hands the right to touch my book, do you want to die!"I yelled out and God, I wanted to pounce on him, to punch him a million and one times, even if he dies, but...but...I hold myself cause I don't want the floor to be stained with his damn blood, so I looked at his damn face, and watch as his eyes shook, but this time it wasn't cov
LUCAS..."What's wrong with me?"I thought to myself, no...I racked my head without mercy, but in the end, I found no answer to it apart from realizing that I don't want to leave this room....not anymore, but...but I want to...help him, I know I know it's like the most shittest thing I would ever want to do, and am probably, really going to regret it, but, but I who is a pathetic loser wants to help him, even though the old me would have done literally everything to stay away from himUgh, it's so complicated and frustrating, and was literally like a puzzle I still don't fully understand, but...but all I knew was that I don't want him to hate me more than shit, cause it would make the guilt I have for reading his diary kill me, so when Mr. "Not a devil" returned few days after that incident, to pick up a notebook, probably his assignment, I dared to risk my life again, and blocked his way before he could leave"Am sorry"Yes I did it, the person who didn't feared getting slapped by hi
LUCAS...."Today, am going to help you with math 304, since your G.P is trash"I told him with a wide cheesy smile on my face, cause I felt happy that I successfully found a way to drag him to this empty lecture room today, so that I would be his tutor, and we could study at last, but still this blue eyes didn't wanted to cooperate with me"Really? My G.P sucks?.."He raised one of his eyebrows up, and looked at me with a fake surprise look on his face, but I knew he was mocking me in someway, and really didn't care if he carries over any course, damnit!"I had said it when you dragged...when you kidnapped me and brought me here, but I guess I would say it again..."He quit acting surprise and folded his arms, he was frustrated again for the hundredth and one time today"I. DON'T. NEED. YOUR. FUCKING. HELP!"He said angrily to me, right in my face, and got up to leave, to ditch me, but I don't want it to happen, so I immediately held unto his arm as fast as I could to stop him"You ar
SOPHIEFive days flew by, and I became a maniac, hysterical, ridiculous, but a maniac that couldn't forget about that damn guy Charlie, as if he had casted a spell on me.I was literally the complete maniac who couldn't concentrate, cause ugh, as much as I hated myself for it, a part of me kind of felt guilty for taking all the blame, even though he deserved itI know I should just like tell myself that forget about it, and really do listen to myself, but in reality?, in reality it doesn't really works that way, cause I was no Wednesday Addams like in the tv series, I had emotions, and there was no way to cut my heart out of me, but the most worst thing of them all, was that a part of me that was the most confusing part felt happy when he texted me again...Yes, he decided to play dumb, and let that incident slide, and still keep on texting me, and at first?, at first when he started to text me again, I was like what the heck was he trying to achieve by all this, I don't even use to re
SOPHIEI was alone, I was alone in the class, but I felt a bit sad, and it was because when I looked left and right, everyone seemed like a couple to me, and I see them doing lovey dovey couple stuff, Nah...screw them all!, but I really felt sad because of him, the one guy that I couldn't get out of my mind no matter how I tried (You know the one)....Him...Lucas!, and I also felt sad, cause the last time we talked, which was yesterday, he looked like a mess, well not that he wasn't still hot or anything, but he looked...really stressed out like what he had told me. He looked disturbed, and when I think about it more, it kinda made my sadness turn into frustration, cause even though he didn't really tell me the exact reason, I knew it was because of that dickhead, Elias!My prince charming was working his ass off for a person like him, and the more I thought about it, the more angrier I became, cause he, my poor prince charming, whether he liked it or not was slowly dying for someone e
ELIASI stared at the window of our room, I was alone, so I had a little time to think about everything that has being happening, bu...but at the same time, I didn't want to think, cause anytime I think about how Lucas was doing just so much for me just so that I could become normal again, I tarnish all his efforts by becoming more depressed, like my depression would literally increase to 40....50%?Yes, I do know that it was so shitty, and I should just probably talk it out with him, that I didn't want to be a burden to him anymore....well I kinda did actually one time. I did sat him down, and told him I could heal on my own just fine without him having to do so much for me. God, I really just wanted him to be the same old Lucas that I knew. and fell in love with, cause this super caring one felt as if I was.... pitied or something, but when I told him, he didn't take it seriously, and volunteered himself even more, and I...I was suppose to be happy that someone cared about me, and do
"We all have different kind of poison, the one that's mild, the one that makes you dizzy, but this one?...this one was the most toxic of them all...SOPHIE...Dark shade eyeglass- CheckBig hat- CheckUmbrella- CheckSelf esteem?....Self esteem- Not Check, cause it was ruined, completely, brutally, awfully ruined, cause ever since that damn day, which was two days ago. I have become some kind of spy that was literally masked up and hiding away, cause I might bump into him anywhere, and...and God, so far am literally going mad, cause I remembered that diary also contained how my high school life was a crampYes and like a pathetic side character, I didn't had some fairytale back in high school, hell no!, all I had was fucking shit, suffering, and oh, I even got bullied too, and it was like the main thing that reduced my self esteem to nothingGod, it was that worst that I literally had to change the way I look, and become a change version of me, but the heart always remembers the bad
SOPHIELike in every drama series, and novels, there is always a side character that would fulfill the author's wish, and sometimes help unite the main characters together...In this novel, I was that pathetic useless side character, and I knew it. I knew I was the girl who doesn't, and would never ever get the guy that she choses to like, cause I am no main character, or special person, but nevertheless, I would still give a brief introduction about myselfAm Sophie, and am literally dying a silent killing death, cause...it might be outrageous and completely odd and the most stupidest thing any side character could ever do, but am just going to confess either way...I have liked Lucas for so long...No, I am literally crazy for him, and Yes, it was that same Lucas that I was his drinking buddy, that same Lucas I had advice on how to win that cold guy Elias over, and heck yeah, it was that same red hair, green eyes Lucas that I had a big fat crush onYes, I do know it's so wrong and stup
LUCASWe stared at each other for some time in silence, and I guess this was truly what people called another definition of love: To stay in silence with your lover, and not feel awkward in the slightest about it, cause we both enjoyed the peace we felt by just looking at each other.The peace that I wished could go on forever and ever, cause I swear I was truly satisfied with it, but in the end, I was the same one who broke the silence, cause I wasn't the type that kept his complete feelings and thoughts hidden, so I just had to let him know what I had decided"Elias"I called out his name, and he looked at me immediately, and stopped playing with his thumbs like a cute little baby he was, but I didn't let his cutest get into my head, cause I didn't wanted to make any mistake, hell no...I wanted to be as serious as I could ever be"I have decided that I want to help you..."I blurted out to him, but damnit!, it didn't come out right like I had wanted it to be, and it obviously made El
ELIASI stared at the ceiling of the damn hospital, and feel angry with myself, cause even though I hated it, I still hopped my little legs to this damn place today, but when I thought to through, I guess I did that, because I didn't wanted to die, cause...cause I had a purpose to live now, regardless of all my fucking demonsLucas was my purpose, and the only one that I wanted to live for.As I thought about all this things, and kept on looking at the ceiling lifelessly, the door clicking sound brought me out of my thoughts, and made me immediately wipe the tears that had gather in my eyes away, cause I didn't wanted Lucas to see me cry, and become suspicious that something was wrong with me, but when I saw the nylon that contained some shitty pills that he carried in his hands, I knew the drama was over, he already knew my trauma, but....but I still wanted to play dumb in case he might still believe me over the doctorsI know I know it sounded so stupid, but I gave it a try, and imme
LUCASI looked at him with my shakily swollen eyes immediately I barged into his ward, and it made him startled, but he didn't say anything to me, no....He just looked at me in the eyes as well, but it was only for some seconds before looking away from me, and it made me realize that he regretted it...Regretted landing in the hospital, regretted being the cause of the heartbreaking look I wore on my red face, and it was all I wanted to know, that he still actually cared about me, and was hurting too probably as much I was, so I didn't yell at him like I had told myself I would do if I find him, cause it would be the most stupidest thing to ever do, especially now that his dark barely alive eyes told me that he needed me, even though he didn't say the words out loud, so I walked up to him, sat on the side of his bed, and took his cold palms into mine"It's alright..."I knew I should have been the most comforting I could ever be, and I should have literally been the prince who saved the
LUCASI arrived at the lecture room an hour before the lecture started, so I had a lot of time to talk to my new gossip buddy about everything, and when I mean my new gossip buddy, I mean the blonde hair beaming Sophie, who was waving happily at me with a sly smile on her face, cause she could already figure out that something was upGosh, am I really that easy to read?I thought to myself as I walked up to her, but immediately I did, she pulled me to the chair next to her, and whispered into my right ear"Tell me everything, now!"She commanded impatiently, and I guess it was normal for her to react that way, cause when I woke up that morning next to Mr. boyfriend, I had literally panicked, and typed to her about a little bit of my crisis about waking up next to Elias, but I swear I didn't tell her that we...that we did it, had sex, cause I thought it might be weird to say that, and I would have just be blabbering early in the morning, but now I guess I was wrong, cause the look on he