LUCAS
...
At least the sun is shinning today...
I woke up very early, and left for my lecture, cause I don't want to have to deal with that dickhead when he wakes up. Am at least glad that nuisance sleeps like a pig, and he ain't an early riser.
As I walked to class, a thought popped into my head "Did he even attend any lectures at all?", but I immediately waved it aside, cause who was I to care about that trashy foul mouthed dickhead, and especially after all he had said to me yesterday, what a warm welcome indeed!
I scoffed out as I thought to myself, but what made me more mad was the fact that when I went to the housemaster to complain about that blue eyes, all he said was that I had to deal with it, but how exactly on earth was I suppose to deal with a damn guy like that, that literally threatened me with my life, How!!??
My mind was exploding, literally fucking exploding, as I died deeper into my thought, and scribbled out some nonsense in my book to ease my anger, but it didn't work one bit, cause my damn mind just had to keep making me remember about that good for nothing blue eyes, that literally made me cry my eyes out last night
"God, is he always this toxic, huh?"
I thought yet again to myself, but I guess I was so lost, that I didn't realize the time I had literally blurted it out loud, cause immediately I did, a light cat eyes gay turned to me, and arched one of his eyebrows up
"Are you talking to me?"
He asked me, and I immediately shook my head, cause I didn't wanted to be on anyone bad list, but in the end, I guess my curiosity got the better of me, and it immediately made me change my mind
"Uh...hey mate"
I tapped him, and it made him look at me with the same confused look on his face, but I didn't care, cause all I wanted was to find out about that toxic damn blue eyes and if he was just trying to scare me so I leave his room, or if he was really a freak, so I spoke out
"Do you know anything about about..."
I parted my lips and looked at him, but when am halfway through my sentence, I realized I don't even know the damn guy's name (how fucking wonderful), but worst I had no idea how I was going to describe him without sounding like a maniac, so I shut myself up, and stayed mute, but luckily, he was some kind of mind reader and immediately read my thoughts
"Fuck, did he mess with you too?"
He touches my fearful palm, and asks me with a concern look on his face, but when I didn't reply, cause I wasn't really sure if we were literally thinking the same thing, and he was actually talking about the same damn guy, he reads my thought again, and decided to describe him
"Elias, that damn dark blue eyes psychopath?"
He asks me again, and it made me finally nod my head
So that's was his fucking name: ELIAS!
I thought to myself, but I don't say it out loud to him, instead I don't want to go off topic
"Well yeah, I mean he sort of in a way did"
I replied back to him, as I let a frustrated fed up sigh escape my lips, but I don't stop talking, I don't want to keep fucking dying in silence either, so I looked back at his face again, and blurted out
"Am living in the same room with him"
I emphasized my sentence more, and watch as his bright eyes immediately popped out as if to tell me that I had literally walked into death's arms...well to give it a brief thought, I guess I did
"Dude, it's bad luck, no it's the worst thing that an ever happen to anybody here"
He said to me, and I nodded my head defeatedly cause what I had experience last night was enough to make me believe it, even though I still kinda felt he was literally telling me to my face how my life sucks too
"If you know what's good for you, you need to pack out, and stay anywhere else, but there...Even the sewers is better!"
On a normal note, anyone would have...I would have thought that his words were an overstatement, but when I think back to how the blue eyes, am sorry...how that damn ELIAS was, I support him again, and guess he was right
"Then can I crash at your room?"
It was a slip of tongue, but I asked him either way, and hoped that maybe I would luckily escape hell fire, I don't even mind sleeping on the floor, but in the end, in the sad pathetic end, he turned me down, because him and his roommate like to party, but I don't feel really sad, cause I don't like alcohol that much, and loud music too
"It's alright broski, I can help you get a good apartment"
I heard his voice again, and it sounded like some kind of music to my ears
"Really?!"
I exclaimed, and at the same time asked him and started to beam up like a girl who just got proposed too, but I don't care if am a little bit girlish sometimes, hell no, cause all I cared about was trying to escape that hellhole of a room, but before I could as much say any other word, my eyes look to the side, it was unintentional, but I saw...I saw HIM!, THAT FUCKING BASTARD!
Fuck!, he was literally watching me, but...but why?
I whispered out to myself, and immediately left the light eyes, and got up from my seat, before he could as much as me where I was going, and what was wrong, but before I could reach the existing door and run away, Mr. toxic mad man, Elias, caught up with me, and grabbed me by my right hand outside to a secluded hallway
"You and I, we are going to have a little chitchat"
He held my hand tighter so I don't run, and looked at me in the eyes with a displeased look on his face, but damn!, damn am the one who was more angrier cause spying on me, and dragging me up here was so fucking unacceptable, so I stopped being a shitty coward, yanked my hand away from his grip, and moved away from him until I created the distance I wanted, cause his face?, looking at his face so close makes me remember what he had did to me yesterday...how I was a complete trash to him, and a ball for him to kick with
"No thank you, cause I am not your fucking slave"
I looked into his eyes and tell him...no, I made it clear to him that he doesn't own me, and immediately walked away before he could say any fucking thing, cause who exactly did he think he was to mess with me as if I was not a living human, SCREW HIM!
....
ELIAS
....
"You and I, we are going to have a little chitchat"
I held his wrist tighter, and looked at him in the eyes with a so displeased look on my face, cause I really don't appreciate his little ass asking everybody, or should I say fucking gossiping about me to some shit, but before I could lecture him about having manners, he yanks his hand away from me, and backed away as if I was some kind of shitty plague
"No thank you, I am not your fucking slave"
Little Mr. green eyes swore out to me, and walked away before I could say anything, and it made me scoff out frustratedly, but unexplainably...unexplainably am not boiling with rage like I was suppose to, and I guess maybe it was because I considered his little shitty attitude entertaining, before I cut him into millions of piece and ruin his entire life and pride
LUCAS...I left that dickhead, and returned back to the class, thank goodness the lecturer wasn't there yet, or else my first official day would have been ruined because of that pile of shit, but I don't still feel at ease, so I typed with my phone as I walked, about the person that was murdered by the damn blue eyes, but what I got was that the toxic guy was innocent, and honestly, it made me so damn confused, if the internet was wrong, or if the university only covered up the shit that damn guy did, and if it was the case, that was so fucking messed up and disgusting!, but I couldn't still help feeling like I was in a maze, and it kinda made me think about that bright eyes that I had spoke with a while ago, so I wanted to ask him what he thought about this, but sadly, some trashy person was already sitting on the spot I sat down on, and he kinda looked like a thug, so I didn't wanted to look for trouble, and ruin my low profile, so I walked away from that direction to sit somewhere
ELIAS.....After I had calm down and reminded myself of a reason to hate that British asshole, I returned back into the room, only to meet him still sitting down on the floor like a broken mess, and yes I don't feel any shitty remorse, rather it made me scoff out."If you keep sitting on the cold floor, you would freeze and be dead before sunrise"I tell him coldly, but still in the most genuine way I could cause it was the truth, but all that asshole did was glare at me with his swollen eyes that was as a result of his shitty tears...that was because of me, and looked away"If I die, it's none of your fucking business!"It was toxic, and he literally replied that way to me as he shifted his gaze away to the side, but I don't care, yes I don't care about his shitty damn drama, or if he listens to me, cause it was his pathetic funeral, and to think again, if he dies, he would finally be out of my life for good, and maybe finally make me get arrested at last, so I looked back at him wit
WARNING, THIS CHAPTER MADE MENTION OF SELF HARM RELATED STUFF, READ WITH CAUTION.....LUCAS...."What the...""Bl...blood?"My voice broke as I saw cotton wool covered with blood, and it made all the adrenaline in me spike up, my thought did as well too, cause what the heck, what the HECK!!!!I rubbed my forehead, as I tried to think, to reason, to bring out a fucking explanation for it, but I don't think he had gotten hurt recently, so could this be from his new victim?My thought murdered me, and made my breath shake, as I immediately trued to back away from the bin, and run out of the room, but my shaky clumsy leg kicked it again in the process, and it spat out a burnt picture of person...someone, and seeing the picture come out of the bin, a curious side of me that I was sure would be the cause of my death, made me literally move closer to see who it was, and when I moved closer to the bin, and took the picture in my hand, even though some side were burnt, I could still make out
ELIAS...I walked into the room, tired cause it's been a long damn day, and I didn't wanted any shit anymore, but what did I see there?....I see some no good nobody having the damn gut to snoop into my stuff...my fucking diary, without having a second thought, and any foresight in his empty skull"What the fucking hell..."I yelled out with all the rage boiling inside me as I rushed up to him, grabbed the book from his damn hands, and pushed him away, making him fall on the hard floor, but I don't care, I don't fucking care how he squeezed his face and let out a little groan, hell no, I don't fucking care about any single shit"What gave your damn filthy hands the right to touch my book, do you want to die!"I yelled out and God, I wanted to pounce on him, to punch him a million and one times, even if he dies, but...but...I hold myself cause I don't want the floor to be stained with his damn blood, so I looked at his damn face, and watch as his eyes shook, but this time it wasn't cov
LUCAS..."What's wrong with me?"I thought to myself, no...I racked my head without mercy, but in the end, I found no answer to it apart from realizing that I don't want to leave this room....not anymore, but...but I want to...help him, I know I know it's like the most shittest thing I would ever want to do, and am probably, really going to regret it, but, but I who is a pathetic loser wants to help him, even though the old me would have done literally everything to stay away from himUgh, it's so complicated and frustrating, and was literally like a puzzle I still don't fully understand, but...but all I knew was that I don't want him to hate me more than shit, cause it would make the guilt I have for reading his diary kill me, so when Mr. "Not a devil" returned few days after that incident, to pick up a notebook, probably his assignment, I dared to risk my life again, and blocked his way before he could leave"Am sorry"Yes I did it, the person who didn't feared getting slapped by hi
LUCAS...."Today, am going to help you with math 304, since your G.P is trash"I told him with a wide cheesy smile on my face, cause I felt happy that I successfully found a way to drag him to this empty lecture room today, so that I would be his tutor, and we could study at last, but still this blue eyes didn't wanted to cooperate with me"Really? My G.P sucks?.."He raised one of his eyebrows up, and looked at me with a fake surprise look on his face, but I knew he was mocking me in someway, and really didn't care if he carries over any course, damnit!"I had said it when you dragged...when you kidnapped me and brought me here, but I guess I would say it again..."He quit acting surprise and folded his arms, he was frustrated again for the hundredth and one time today"I. DON'T. NEED. YOUR. FUCKING. HELP!"He said angrily to me, right in my face, and got up to leave, to ditch me, but I don't want it to happen, so I immediately held unto his arm as fast as I could to stop him"You ar
LUCAS...."I can't leave you alone, not when am trying to be your friend"I know he is an asshole, but I told him either way with a wide smile on my face, cause it was the truth, but immediately he heard my words, I saw how one of his eyebrows arched up, and it made me realized that he was confused, probably thinking hard about something, maybe about why I was able to tolerate him, but the truth was that when I make a deal with someone on something, I make sure I win, and plus, I was also trying to be his friend, cause, I mean looking at him from this angle, he was kinda sorta....cuteNo wait, what the fuck did I just think about right now!Immediately I realized the fuck I had just literally thought about, I stopped smiling, and looked away from him to snap myself completely out of it, cause I don't ever want to feel any shit for a person I was sure doesn't give a damn about me, or else I would be heartbroken, and hell no, I don't want that, cause my heart is too fragile, so I stylis
.....ERROR CHAPTER, BELONGS TO ANOTHER BOOK, PLEASE MOVE TO THE NEXT ONE TO CONTINUE THE STORY, AM DEEPLY SORRY "I have thousand reason to die and many billions reasons to cry, but am still standing and I don't know why.... ..... The ride home was a really quiet one, My hands kept on fiddling, and my poor head was banging me over and over again, God, I really feel like I was actually dying or something.... I couldn't stop digesting everything that I just heard like a few minutes ago, as my heart kept on arching, Everything was just so frustrating, and oh, to top it all, the silence in the car was killing me completely... Well, it's not like I had wanted to say something to him or what, but still everything was just so strange... He wants revenge just like me, or was it that it was all a tricky act to come close to me, I thought carefully, as I stole a sneak peak of Charlie's blank expression, as his eyes were glued on the already dark roads... I really doubt his lying, Another
SOPHIE"Sooo, we are a thing now, right?"I looked at the face of my nerd lover, and asked him, even though we had literally spent a whole year together, and it was kinda dumb to still ask that, but still...still..I wanted to hear those words from him, and in the end, he fulfilled my desire in the most cheesiest way possible"We are not a thing, but a couple obviously!"He told me, and it made my heart flutter, cause I wanted to hear those words for so long, but I didn't tell him that, instead I rolled my eyes at him, and parted my lips."Quit being Mr. smart pants already"I said, but I had this really big smile on my face when I did, cause I loved him for being such a big nerd, and immediately he heard me speak, he kissed me...it was passionate, and I loved it how he always makes me feel so special with it...Sorry, I loved how he always makes US feel so specialI touched my stomach, and looked back at his face"Do you think they would accept our baby?"I looked at his eyes, and aske
Tell me every terrible things you ever did, and let me love you either way...LUCASI had a few more lectures that day, after little miss lover girl Sophie ran away from me, and seriously, I was so lonely all by myself, but I literally really won the award of being the world most lonely man ever, when I returned back to the room.The room that haunted me....the room that was filled with his memories everywhere, and the room....the fucking room that reminded me of every single thing about him, even though I was literally trying to forget about him...God"Elias..."I mumbled out his name for the first time in three days, and felt like my heart shattered again...well it did, and it was probably because I had broke my promise to never utter his name again, so that I could heal, but how on fucking earth was I suppose to live this way, when the entire room was originally his, and I always fucking imagine him next to me when I sleep, so after much thinking, I frustratedly packed up my bags,
SOPHIEI ran away from him, even though I knew his words were right, but I was still scared, and I really still wanted to completely figure it out, and there was no rush in figuring things out, were they?..I thought to myself, and tried to calm down, but in the messed up end, the more I tried to calm down, the more I deceived myself, and got more stressed so I resulted to drinking, and to getting myself drunk, so that I would just forget everything for a while, cause alcohol was the best remedy, but this pathetic side character ended up getting another bomb drop that same night....I was drunk, so drunk that I couldn't even walk properly, and knew that I might just literally die in the freezing night if I didn't return back to that hellhole room of mine (Yes, such shitty life I had)I thought to myself as I staggered back, even though my vision was blurry, and I couldn't see properly, or even think at all. To be honest, and after walking maybe in circles or something, all I knew was
LUCASI told him I loved him, but he didn't say it back, and left me either way, sad huh?...I sighed out, and played with my pen as I told Sophie about every shit that happened two days ago. Yes, two days had flew by, and am literally barely alive, and No, I wasn't mad that I didn't ended the friendship with Sophie, because of what had happened that day...Nah, I would be too dramatic if I ended our friendship because of what she said to meTo be honest, I kinda even understood why, and I guess it was because she was literally at her limits then, it was obvious something was wrong with her, but all I did was blabber out all my worries to her, without even caring if she was fine or not, and to be really plain honest, I kinda feel bad about it...about always focused on myself, cause it's really shitty"I don't blame either of you, rather I blame damn life, it's shitty, and so dramatic, that you can't even be able to control any fucking thing that happens, ugh!"I heard her voice, it bro
"Don't want to hide the truth, don't want to murder you, but with the beast inside, there's no where I can hide..."....ELIAS"Happy!"I yelled out to my inner demons immediately I closed the door, and left him, left him alone broken, and ruined.God, I was such a heartless being, and am so sorry Lucas, for every single pain I made you pass through, but...but this was for the best, wasn't it?...I closed my eyes, I was about to cry, but I stopped myself when I saw the fucking housemaster, he was looking at me, giving me a look that I had no clue of, but hated it, hated it so fucking much, that it made me instantly mad"I know you are fucking happy with all of this as well"I spat out, and glared at him, and I swear I could have just left like that...I wanted to cause it would be foolish enough to associate myself with the trash, after what just happened in the room, but before I could, he grabbed me by the wrist...How he, the old damn man miraculously manage to come out of his offic
"Don't want to hide the truth, don't want to murder you, but with the beast inside, there's no where I can hide..."....ELIAS"Happy!"I yelled out to my inner demons immediately I closed the door, and left him, left him alone broken, and ruined.God, I was such a heartless being, and am so sorry Lucas, for every single pain I made you pass through, but...but this was for the best, wasn't it?...I closed my eyes, I was about to cry, but I stopped myself when I saw the fucking housemaster, he was looking at me, giving me a look that I had no clue of, but hated it, hated it so fucking much, that it made me instantly mad"I know you are fucking happy with all of this as well"I spat out, and glared at him, and I swear I could have just left like that...I wanted to cause it would be foolish enough to associate myself with the trash, after what just happened in the room, but before I could, he grabbed me by the wrist...How he, the old damn man miraculously manage to come out of his offic
"Don't want to hide the truth, don't want to murder you, but with the beast inside, there's no where I can hide..."....ELIAS"Happy!"I yelled out to my inner demons immediately I closed the door, and left him, left him alone broken, and ruined.God, I was such a heartless being, and am so sorry Lucas, for every single pain I made you pass through, but...but this was for the best, wasn't it?...I closed my eyes, I was about to cry, but I stopped myself when I saw the fucking housemaster, he was looking at me, giving me a look that I had no clue of, but hated it, hated it so fucking much, that it made me instantly mad"I know you are fucking happy with all of this as well"I spat out, and glared at him, and I swear I could have just left like that...I wanted to cause it would be foolish enough to associate myself with the trash, after what just happened in the room, but before I could, he grabbed me by the wrist...How he, the old damn man miraculously manage to come out of his offic
WARNING: HEARTBREAKING"I am yours, so please don't give me back to myself"....LUCASEvening set in, and the night was approaching, the sky was already dark too, but my heart was the most darkest of them allIt was empty....void of every emotion, it was so broken, and I knew it would never be fixed again, cause I searched literally everywhere, even the entrance of the university that was like so many kilometers away for him, only him, but he was still nowhere, and I really didn't know what to do anymore, I really didn't now that my owner had abandoned his puppyIt was no lie that I was scared, I needed help, and I would never forgive my father for this, cause did he really think that my grades would ever come up after causing all this shit...Mmm let me think, Never!, but even if it ends up miraculously coming up, he had already lost his son in the processDamnit!, why did you do this to me, huh?...And why did you leave me Elias...I cried out again, and I was the real definition of
"The heart is red, but have you ever wondered the reason why it is?. It isn't red because it symbolizes love, and romance...No, hell no....but it's red, because it symbolizes blood, and pain, and darknessShitty isn't it?, well who told you to believe in fairytales, hmm?...… SOPHIE"I also have my own problems, Lucas"I whispered out to him, and looked away from his face. I knew it was heartless, cruel, and probably the most unthinkable think I could say and do, cause he was literally crying, and I...I said those words to his face...Ugh, I knew I was cruel, I needed no one to tell me that, but...but I swear I only said that, cause I was angry, and fed up, when I saw him barge into the class, I wanted him to notice my pale face, and ask me what was wrong...I wanted to tell him about my crisis, and about how I was losing my mind here, cause last night I literally had my first kiss with someone that stole my diary, but...but instead he tells me his problem, and it made me angry, and s