LUCAS
...
At least the sun is shinning today...
I woke up very early, and left for my lecture, cause I don't want to have to deal with that dickhead when he wakes up. Am at least glad that nuisance sleeps like a pig, and he ain't an early riser.
As I walked to class, a thought popped into my head "Did he even attend any lectures at all?", but I immediately waved it aside, cause who was I to care about that trashy foul mouthed dickhead, and especially after all he had said to me yesterday, what a warm welcome indeed!
I scoffed out as I thought to myself, but what made me more mad was the fact that when I went to the housemaster to complain about that blue eyes, all he said was that I had to deal with it, but how exactly on earth was I suppose to deal with a damn guy like that, that literally threatened me with my life, How!!??
My mind was exploding, literally fucking exploding, as I died deeper into my thought, and scribbled out some nonsense in my book to ease my anger, but it didn't work one bit, cause my damn mind just had to keep making me remember about that good for nothing blue eyes, that literally made me cry my eyes out last night
"God, is he always this toxic, huh?"
I thought yet again to myself, but I guess I was so lost, that I didn't realize the time I had literally blurted it out loud, cause immediately I did, a light cat eyes gay turned to me, and arched one of his eyebrows up
"Are you talking to me?"
He asked me, and I immediately shook my head, cause I didn't wanted to be on anyone bad list, but in the end, I guess my curiosity got the better of me, and it immediately made me change my mind
"Uh...hey mate"
I tapped him, and it made him look at me with the same confused look on his face, but I didn't care, cause all I wanted was to find out about that toxic damn blue eyes and if he was just trying to scare me so I leave his room, or if he was really a freak, so I spoke out
"Do you know anything about about..."
I parted my lips and looked at him, but when am halfway through my sentence, I realized I don't even know the damn guy's name (how fucking wonderful), but worst I had no idea how I was going to describe him without sounding like a maniac, so I shut myself up, and stayed mute, but luckily, he was some kind of mind reader and immediately read my thoughts
"Fuck, did he mess with you too?"
He touches my fearful palm, and asks me with a concern look on his face, but when I didn't reply, cause I wasn't really sure if we were literally thinking the same thing, and he was actually talking about the same damn guy, he reads my thought again, and decided to describe him
"Elias, that damn dark blue eyes psychopath?"
He asks me again, and it made me finally nod my head
So that's was his fucking name: ELIAS!
I thought to myself, but I don't say it out loud to him, instead I don't want to go off topic
"Well yeah, I mean he sort of in a way did"
I replied back to him, as I let a frustrated fed up sigh escape my lips, but I don't stop talking, I don't want to keep fucking dying in silence either, so I looked back at his face again, and blurted out
"Am living in the same room with him"
I emphasized my sentence more, and watch as his bright eyes immediately popped out as if to tell me that I had literally walked into death's arms...well to give it a brief thought, I guess I did
"Dude, it's bad luck, no it's the worst thing that an ever happen to anybody here"
He said to me, and I nodded my head defeatedly cause what I had experience last night was enough to make me believe it, even though I still kinda felt he was literally telling me to my face how my life sucks too
"If you know what's good for you, you need to pack out, and stay anywhere else, but there...Even the sewers is better!"
On a normal note, anyone would have...I would have thought that his words were an overstatement, but when I think back to how the blue eyes, am sorry...how that damn ELIAS was, I support him again, and guess he was right
"Then can I crash at your room?"
It was a slip of tongue, but I asked him either way, and hoped that maybe I would luckily escape hell fire, I don't even mind sleeping on the floor, but in the end, in the sad pathetic end, he turned me down, because him and his roommate like to party, but I don't feel really sad, cause I don't like alcohol that much, and loud music too
"It's alright broski, I can help you get a good apartment"
I heard his voice again, and it sounded like some kind of music to my ears
"Really?!"
I exclaimed, and at the same time asked him and started to beam up like a girl who just got proposed too, but I don't care if am a little bit girlish sometimes, hell no, cause all I cared about was trying to escape that hellhole of a room, but before I could as much say any other word, my eyes look to the side, it was unintentional, but I saw...I saw HIM!, THAT FUCKING BASTARD!
Fuck!, he was literally watching me, but...but why?
I whispered out to myself, and immediately left the light eyes, and got up from my seat, before he could as much as me where I was going, and what was wrong, but before I could reach the existing door and run away, Mr. toxic mad man, Elias, caught up with me, and grabbed me by my right hand outside to a secluded hallway
"You and I, we are going to have a little chitchat"
He held my hand tighter so I don't run, and looked at me in the eyes with a displeased look on his face, but damn!, damn am the one who was more angrier cause spying on me, and dragging me up here was so fucking unacceptable, so I stopped being a shitty coward, yanked my hand away from his grip, and moved away from him until I created the distance I wanted, cause his face?, looking at his face so close makes me remember what he had did to me yesterday...how I was a complete trash to him, and a ball for him to kick with
"No thank you, cause I am not your fucking slave"
I looked into his eyes and tell him...no, I made it clear to him that he doesn't own me, and immediately walked away before he could say any fucking thing, cause who exactly did he think he was to mess with me as if I was not a living human, SCREW HIM!
....
ELIAS
....
"You and I, we are going to have a little chitchat"
I held his wrist tighter, and looked at him in the eyes with a so displeased look on my face, cause I really don't appreciate his little ass asking everybody, or should I say fucking gossiping about me to some shit, but before I could lecture him about having manners, he yanks his hand away from me, and backed away as if I was some kind of shitty plague
"No thank you, I am not your fucking slave"
Little Mr. green eyes swore out to me, and walked away before I could say anything, and it made me scoff out frustratedly, but unexplainably...unexplainably am not boiling with rage like I was suppose to, and I guess maybe it was because I considered his little shitty attitude entertaining, before I cut him into millions of piece and ruin his entire life and pride
LUCAS...I left that dickhead, and returned back to the class, thank goodness the lecturer wasn't there yet, or else my first official day would have been ruined because of that pile of shit, but I don't still feel at ease, so I typed with my phone as I walked, about the person that was murdered by the damn blue eyes, but what I got was that the toxic guy was innocent, and honestly, it made me so damn confused, if the internet was wrong, or if the university only covered up the shit that damn guy did, and if it was the case, that was so fucking messed up and disgusting!, but I couldn't still help feeling like I was in a maze, and it kinda made me think about that bright eyes that I had spoke with a while ago, so I wanted to ask him what he thought about this, but sadly, some trashy person was already sitting on the spot I sat down on, and he kinda looked like a thug, so I didn't wanted to look for trouble, and ruin my low profile, so I walked away from that direction to sit somewhere
ELIAS.....After I had calm down and reminded myself of a reason to hate that British asshole, I returned back into the room, only to meet him still sitting down on the floor like a broken mess, and yes I don't feel any shitty remorse, rather it made me scoff out."If you keep sitting on the cold floor, you would freeze and be dead before sunrise"I tell him coldly, but still in the most genuine way I could cause it was the truth, but all that asshole did was glare at me with his swollen eyes that was as a result of his shitty tears...that was because of me, and looked away"If I die, it's none of your fucking business!"It was toxic, and he literally replied that way to me as he shifted his gaze away to the side, but I don't care, yes I don't care about his shitty damn drama, or if he listens to me, cause it was his pathetic funeral, and to think again, if he dies, he would finally be out of my life for good, and maybe finally make me get arrested at last, so I looked back at him wit
WARNING, THIS CHAPTER MADE MENTION OF SELF HARM RELATED STUFF, READ WITH CAUTION.....LUCAS...."What the...""Bl...blood?"My voice broke as I saw cotton wool covered with blood, and it made all the adrenaline in me spike up, my thought did as well too, cause what the heck, what the HECK!!!!I rubbed my forehead, as I tried to think, to reason, to bring out a fucking explanation for it, but I don't think he had gotten hurt recently, so could this be from his new victim?My thought murdered me, and made my breath shake, as I immediately trued to back away from the bin, and run out of the room, but my shaky clumsy leg kicked it again in the process, and it spat out a burnt picture of person...someone, and seeing the picture come out of the bin, a curious side of me that I was sure would be the cause of my death, made me literally move closer to see who it was, and when I moved closer to the bin, and took the picture in my hand, even though some side were burnt, I could still make out
ELIAS...I walked into the room, tired cause it's been a long damn day, and I didn't wanted any shit anymore, but what did I see there?....I see some no good nobody having the damn gut to snoop into my stuff...my fucking diary, without having a second thought, and any foresight in his empty skull"What the fucking hell..."I yelled out with all the rage boiling inside me as I rushed up to him, grabbed the book from his damn hands, and pushed him away, making him fall on the hard floor, but I don't care, I don't fucking care how he squeezed his face and let out a little groan, hell no, I don't fucking care about any single shit"What gave your damn filthy hands the right to touch my book, do you want to die!"I yelled out and God, I wanted to pounce on him, to punch him a million and one times, even if he dies, but...but...I hold myself cause I don't want the floor to be stained with his damn blood, so I looked at his damn face, and watch as his eyes shook, but this time it wasn't cov
LUCAS..."What's wrong with me?"I thought to myself, no...I racked my head without mercy, but in the end, I found no answer to it apart from realizing that I don't want to leave this room....not anymore, but...but I want to...help him, I know I know it's like the most shittest thing I would ever want to do, and am probably, really going to regret it, but, but I who is a pathetic loser wants to help him, even though the old me would have done literally everything to stay away from himUgh, it's so complicated and frustrating, and was literally like a puzzle I still don't fully understand, but...but all I knew was that I don't want him to hate me more than shit, cause it would make the guilt I have for reading his diary kill me, so when Mr. "Not a devil" returned few days after that incident, to pick up a notebook, probably his assignment, I dared to risk my life again, and blocked his way before he could leave"Am sorry"Yes I did it, the person who didn't feared getting slapped by hi
LUCAS...."Today, am going to help you with math 304, since your G.P is trash"I told him with a wide cheesy smile on my face, cause I felt happy that I successfully found a way to drag him to this empty lecture room today, so that I would be his tutor, and we could study at last, but still this blue eyes didn't wanted to cooperate with me"Really? My G.P sucks?.."He raised one of his eyebrows up, and looked at me with a fake surprise look on his face, but I knew he was mocking me in someway, and really didn't care if he carries over any course, damnit!"I had said it when you dragged...when you kidnapped me and brought me here, but I guess I would say it again..."He quit acting surprise and folded his arms, he was frustrated again for the hundredth and one time today"I. DON'T. NEED. YOUR. FUCKING. HELP!"He said angrily to me, right in my face, and got up to leave, to ditch me, but I don't want it to happen, so I immediately held unto his arm as fast as I could to stop him"You ar
LUCAS...."I can't leave you alone, not when am trying to be your friend"I know he is an asshole, but I told him either way with a wide smile on my face, cause it was the truth, but immediately he heard my words, I saw how one of his eyebrows arched up, and it made me realized that he was confused, probably thinking hard about something, maybe about why I was able to tolerate him, but the truth was that when I make a deal with someone on something, I make sure I win, and plus, I was also trying to be his friend, cause, I mean looking at him from this angle, he was kinda sorta....cuteNo wait, what the fuck did I just think about right now!Immediately I realized the fuck I had just literally thought about, I stopped smiling, and looked away from him to snap myself completely out of it, cause I don't ever want to feel any shit for a person I was sure doesn't give a damn about me, or else I would be heartbroken, and hell no, I don't want that, cause my heart is too fragile, so I stylis
.....ERROR CHAPTER, BELONGS TO ANOTHER BOOK, PLEASE MOVE TO THE NEXT ONE TO CONTINUE THE STORY, AM DEEPLY SORRY "I have thousand reason to die and many billions reasons to cry, but am still standing and I don't know why.... ..... The ride home was a really quiet one, My hands kept on fiddling, and my poor head was banging me over and over again, God, I really feel like I was actually dying or something.... I couldn't stop digesting everything that I just heard like a few minutes ago, as my heart kept on arching, Everything was just so frustrating, and oh, to top it all, the silence in the car was killing me completely... Well, it's not like I had wanted to say something to him or what, but still everything was just so strange... He wants revenge just like me, or was it that it was all a tricky act to come close to me, I thought carefully, as I stole a sneak peak of Charlie's blank expression, as his eyes were glued on the already dark roads... I really doubt his lying, Another
SOPHIEFive days flew by, and I became a maniac, hysterical, ridiculous, but a maniac that couldn't forget about that damn guy Charlie, as if he had casted a spell on me.I was literally the complete maniac who couldn't concentrate, cause ugh, as much as I hated myself for it, a part of me kind of felt guilty for taking all the blame, even though he deserved itI know I should just like tell myself that forget about it, and really do listen to myself, but in reality?, in reality it doesn't really works that way, cause I was no Wednesday Addams like in the tv series, I had emotions, and there was no way to cut my heart out of me, but the most worst thing of them all, was that a part of me that was the most confusing part felt happy when he texted me again...Yes, he decided to play dumb, and let that incident slide, and still keep on texting me, and at first?, at first when he started to text me again, I was like what the heck was he trying to achieve by all this, I don't even use to re
SOPHIEI was alone, I was alone in the class, but I felt a bit sad, and it was because when I looked left and right, everyone seemed like a couple to me, and I see them doing lovey dovey couple stuff, Nah...screw them all!, but I really felt sad because of him, the one guy that I couldn't get out of my mind no matter how I tried (You know the one)....Him...Lucas!, and I also felt sad, cause the last time we talked, which was yesterday, he looked like a mess, well not that he wasn't still hot or anything, but he looked...really stressed out like what he had told me. He looked disturbed, and when I think about it more, it kinda made my sadness turn into frustration, cause even though he didn't really tell me the exact reason, I knew it was because of that dickhead, Elias!My prince charming was working his ass off for a person like him, and the more I thought about it, the more angrier I became, cause he, my poor prince charming, whether he liked it or not was slowly dying for someone e
ELIASI stared at the window of our room, I was alone, so I had a little time to think about everything that has being happening, bu...but at the same time, I didn't want to think, cause anytime I think about how Lucas was doing just so much for me just so that I could become normal again, I tarnish all his efforts by becoming more depressed, like my depression would literally increase to 40....50%?Yes, I do know that it was so shitty, and I should just probably talk it out with him, that I didn't want to be a burden to him anymore....well I kinda did actually one time. I did sat him down, and told him I could heal on my own just fine without him having to do so much for me. God, I really just wanted him to be the same old Lucas that I knew. and fell in love with, cause this super caring one felt as if I was.... pitied or something, but when I told him, he didn't take it seriously, and volunteered himself even more, and I...I was suppose to be happy that someone cared about me, and do
"We all have different kind of poison, the one that's mild, the one that makes you dizzy, but this one?...this one was the most toxic of them all...SOPHIE...Dark shade eyeglass- CheckBig hat- CheckUmbrella- CheckSelf esteem?....Self esteem- Not Check, cause it was ruined, completely, brutally, awfully ruined, cause ever since that damn day, which was two days ago. I have become some kind of spy that was literally masked up and hiding away, cause I might bump into him anywhere, and...and God, so far am literally going mad, cause I remembered that diary also contained how my high school life was a crampYes and like a pathetic side character, I didn't had some fairytale back in high school, hell no!, all I had was fucking shit, suffering, and oh, I even got bullied too, and it was like the main thing that reduced my self esteem to nothingGod, it was that worst that I literally had to change the way I look, and become a change version of me, but the heart always remembers the bad
SOPHIELike in every drama series, and novels, there is always a side character that would fulfill the author's wish, and sometimes help unite the main characters together...In this novel, I was that pathetic useless side character, and I knew it. I knew I was the girl who doesn't, and would never ever get the guy that she choses to like, cause I am no main character, or special person, but nevertheless, I would still give a brief introduction about myselfAm Sophie, and am literally dying a silent killing death, cause...it might be outrageous and completely odd and the most stupidest thing any side character could ever do, but am just going to confess either way...I have liked Lucas for so long...No, I am literally crazy for him, and Yes, it was that same Lucas that I was his drinking buddy, that same Lucas I had advice on how to win that cold guy Elias over, and heck yeah, it was that same red hair, green eyes Lucas that I had a big fat crush onYes, I do know it's so wrong and stup
LUCASWe stared at each other for some time in silence, and I guess this was truly what people called another definition of love: To stay in silence with your lover, and not feel awkward in the slightest about it, cause we both enjoyed the peace we felt by just looking at each other.The peace that I wished could go on forever and ever, cause I swear I was truly satisfied with it, but in the end, I was the same one who broke the silence, cause I wasn't the type that kept his complete feelings and thoughts hidden, so I just had to let him know what I had decided"Elias"I called out his name, and he looked at me immediately, and stopped playing with his thumbs like a cute little baby he was, but I didn't let his cutest get into my head, cause I didn't wanted to make any mistake, hell no...I wanted to be as serious as I could ever be"I have decided that I want to help you..."I blurted out to him, but damnit!, it didn't come out right like I had wanted it to be, and it obviously made El
ELIASI stared at the ceiling of the damn hospital, and feel angry with myself, cause even though I hated it, I still hopped my little legs to this damn place today, but when I thought to through, I guess I did that, because I didn't wanted to die, cause...cause I had a purpose to live now, regardless of all my fucking demonsLucas was my purpose, and the only one that I wanted to live for.As I thought about all this things, and kept on looking at the ceiling lifelessly, the door clicking sound brought me out of my thoughts, and made me immediately wipe the tears that had gather in my eyes away, cause I didn't wanted Lucas to see me cry, and become suspicious that something was wrong with me, but when I saw the nylon that contained some shitty pills that he carried in his hands, I knew the drama was over, he already knew my trauma, but....but I still wanted to play dumb in case he might still believe me over the doctorsI know I know it sounded so stupid, but I gave it a try, and imme
LUCASI looked at him with my shakily swollen eyes immediately I barged into his ward, and it made him startled, but he didn't say anything to me, no....He just looked at me in the eyes as well, but it was only for some seconds before looking away from me, and it made me realize that he regretted it...Regretted landing in the hospital, regretted being the cause of the heartbreaking look I wore on my red face, and it was all I wanted to know, that he still actually cared about me, and was hurting too probably as much I was, so I didn't yell at him like I had told myself I would do if I find him, cause it would be the most stupidest thing to ever do, especially now that his dark barely alive eyes told me that he needed me, even though he didn't say the words out loud, so I walked up to him, sat on the side of his bed, and took his cold palms into mine"It's alright..."I knew I should have been the most comforting I could ever be, and I should have literally been the prince who saved the
LUCASI arrived at the lecture room an hour before the lecture started, so I had a lot of time to talk to my new gossip buddy about everything, and when I mean my new gossip buddy, I mean the blonde hair beaming Sophie, who was waving happily at me with a sly smile on her face, cause she could already figure out that something was upGosh, am I really that easy to read?I thought to myself as I walked up to her, but immediately I did, she pulled me to the chair next to her, and whispered into my right ear"Tell me everything, now!"She commanded impatiently, and I guess it was normal for her to react that way, cause when I woke up that morning next to Mr. boyfriend, I had literally panicked, and typed to her about a little bit of my crisis about waking up next to Elias, but I swear I didn't tell her that we...that we did it, had sex, cause I thought it might be weird to say that, and I would have just be blabbering early in the morning, but now I guess I was wrong, cause the look on he