59T H E AI put on some earring and fixed my hair. Since I had a wounded foot, Sebastian decided to have our date inside the villa while the others were having their dinner outside at the yard. He said he wanted to have me solo for tonight since he was busy the entire day and he felt bad for what happened to me.As for Benedict, I haven't seen much of him today. I don't know if he's hiding from me or he talked with Khaleel about what we discussed inside the clinic. By I was seriously disappointed at Benedict, most of the people asked and worried about me. But he never even talked to me and asked me if I was fine or how was my foot. God that man is despicable!I sigh as I look at my reflection. "Man up Thea. Tell Sebastian that you don't like him."A knock came by my door and I knew that it was already Sebastian. I headed straight to the door and decided to open it. But it was someone else."Hey." He smiled tightlipped."Khaleel." I welcomed his presence. "What brings your here? I tho
60T H E ATHREE YEARS AGO...When I resigned the club and left London, Sky had already been furiously mad because I was hard-headed. He didn't want me to leave because he doesn't trust the guy I chose but I'm so in love with Liv.I wanna be where he is. I wanna be with him all the time. I wanna see him when I wake up in the morning or before I fall asleep at night. I wanna lay with him, eat with him, cook for him, prepare his clothes before he starts his day at work. I wanna live with him in one house.College was really great so far. The feeling of being in school again, felt so nice. A mixture of thrilling and exciting were building inside. I was actually having fun and learning a lot in Scotland. Liv was the one who paid for everything, from the university fee, to my new clothes, new bags, shoes, books, pens, notebooks, and my own flat. Everything that I needed was paid by Liv and though it was difficult to adjust myself in this new surrounding, I did it for him because it would m
61T H E APRESENT..."Are you still mad?"My eyes travelled back to Liv while I was being dead silent for a couple of minutes. I try to process the question that he asked me but I was also unsure of my own answer. I take a couple more seconds to think.Am I still mad with all the things that he did to me?I don't know."Then I take that as a yes." He answers his own question and looked away from me.I sigh and looked away from him too."I don't know Liv." I admitted."I..." I trailed off.I breath and exhaled. "I don't know if I'm still mad at you. I don't even know if I can even forget those things. I don't know if... I don't know if I can even forget our past Liv. You're like a ghost."I turn my head back to him and he was already looking at me. "A ghost that follows me everywhere I go. You're always haunting me. In my dreams. In my thoughts. At work. Even after being away from you, you haunt me.""Is it bad that I do?" He asks. "Do you feel mad when you remember me? Do I still dis
62T H E ATHREE YEARS AGO...Liv cancelled his business trip to Dubai because he wanted to check on me and by check on me it meant that every hour of the day. He messages me every hour to ask if where I was. He would call just to make sure I was in class and I wasn't going anywhere but school and school alone. He'd call every freaking hour to the extent that my professors would get mad at me. If college had detention I'd be always present.Liv has now been aware that a lot of guys are trying to pursue me in my university and even though I never talk to him about it, he knew. He said it's a man's instinct when other men has eyes set on their woman. Liv and I would fight most nights due to men who keep ringing up my phone. Sometimes he would answer it and sometimes he would turn off my phone when I'm at home with him around.He wasn't acting as if he was my boyfriend, but instead he was acting as if he was my father. I didn't talk to Liv days after that incident and as always he did so
63T H E AThree years ago...My tears blurs my eyes because all those nights when he was also physically hurting me flashed back to me as Rachelle storytells me everything that Liv did to her. I pitied her for what she has been through while she married him. She stayed with Liv as long as she could because it was for the love of her sons and just be with them and that it wasn't because she was still in love with her husband. She said she loved Liv but love faded the moment when he continuously began hitting her and hurting her physically.Rachelle exhales as she wipes the escaping year coming from her eyes. "He was the nicest man I know but the most evil at the same time."Her lips trembles. "He's a very jealous man. He asked me to stop from work because he kept on insisting that my colleagues were hitting on me but they weren't. He only wants me to stay at home and if I go out of the house to do shopping I have two bodyguards with me."She sighs. "He scares me the most when he's ma
64T H E AI breathe out and opened my eyes.I'm back to the present time.I see Liv standing right next to me and he stares at me sorrily with rueful eyes. But I don't regret leaving him. I didn't regret leaving him and ending what I had with him. I was free from being controlled on what to do and being told what I shouldn't do.I was free from pain.I looked away from him and exhaled heavily. I can still recall how painful it was for me to go through those timea when I was being with him and to leave him alone. But I knew I just have to do it for my own good even though I loved him very dearly."Vi..." His voice weakens. "I have been trying to change and to control myself ever since you left. I am trying. I swear.""Then I'm happy for that." I answer him.He shakes his head. "I'm not. I'm not happy about losing you. I have never felt like the other half of my life is missing."I walk closer to him and held his cheek. "Liv, it's been years and we've all moved on."There was a long pa
65SEBASTIANTHE NIGHT BEFORE...I have never been disappointed.I'm not mad at Thea, but I'm mad at myself for not being enough. I wonder what was wrong with what I did. I thought if I kept pursuing her, she would probably feel the same way as I do. I thought if I kept on showering her with gifts and taking her to places, she would like it.But why?Why doesn't she see that all the things that I am doing for her is just showing my appreciation?Why doesn't she fall in love with me?Why?I groan as I pulled myself up from my bed. I glance at my wall clock, it was already four in the morning but I still couldn't sleep. I wanted to talk to her but I don't want to annoy her too much.I sigh."I think I should talk to her." I mumbled to myself.I pulled myself up from my bed and grabbed a shirt. I put it on me and walked towards my door. I know it's stupid to talk to her this late but then I have this urging feeling where I really wanna talk to her. I don't know what I will say, but I'm s
66THEAWhen I got back up to my room after that talk with Khaleel by the shore, I felt more and more confused on what really happened that night. I had so many questions in my head that were unanswered that only Benedict or Sebastian can answer.I groan.I exhale heavily and closed the door behind me. My eyes scanned around the room then all of a sudden, I saw a letter on the floor. My brows creasing as I knelt down to pick it up. My name was written in cursive in front of the envelope and as I stand back up, I opened the letter which was written in cursive too. It was just beautifully written in cursive with a black inked sign pen.Miss Thibault,As soon as you read this, I have already left. But I have never showed you my appreciation for coming into my life and how you turned it into a roller coaster Miss Thibault. You made me do things that I didn't wanna do before. You made me feel feelings that I didn't know I was capable of. You showed me how to be alive again. Thank you. When
87 T H E A Sebastian committed suicide. He ended his own life with a gun in his head. No one even knew how he had a gun in the first place and no one had any idea he was going to do that. He was supposed to meet Ben and the others tomorrow for a reunion. He was supposed to live a new life after being sentenced in prison for seven years. He was supposed to live in a tropical place and start a new life for himself. He was supposed to live a life filled with dreams now that he is out in prison. Sebastian was supposed to live. I was supposed to forgive him. The autopsy report stated that it happened around twelve midnight which means just a few hours after he left our home. I have never felt so depressed in my entire life that I wasn't even able to tell him a lot of things that I wanted to say. I didnt know what I was exactly feeling, completely lost in my thoughts and emotions after Sebastian's passing. I knew that there was something wrong in his eyes when he talked to me becaus
86T H E A"How have you been?" He asks.Sebastian wore blue, white and light pink plaided top, a pair of faded jeans and a dirty white sneakers. He looked older than the last time I saw him and his hair has gotten longer too. He looked different, but those eyes still frightens me.Those merciless eyes.I couldn't stare at him longer and I had to look away from his gaze. I clear my throat, "I have been well." I answered."I'm really glad that you are." Sebastian tells me."Um, do you want to drink something Sebastian? Tea?" Ben offers.I quickly held his wrist, stopping him from leaving me alone in here and stared into his eyes as I said to him. "Please don't leave me here."Ben stares intently at me before he turns to Sebastian who speaks, "You dont really have to offer me anything."I bite my inner cheek and breathe in some confidence before I faced Sebastian. "What are you doing here?"Sebastian stares at me eagerly."What do you want?" I asked firmly."I came here to see if you ha
85T H E AI couldn't sleep the entire night as I was bothered about Sebastian's release happening in just a few hours.Thoughts were filling and piling inside my head one over the other and I don't know if this was going to let me sleep at all.So I slipped out of the bed where Ben was sleeping soundly and headed out of bedroom to get myself a glass of wine from downstairs. I hate myself when I turn to alcohol every time my thoughts are fogged up and fucked up. I hate when there are questions left unanswered and my solution is alcohol.I hated it.I hated it so much I hate myself too.I finished two glasses of wine and spent almost thirty minutes just sitting on a chair where I tried to drown and sort my troubled thoughts. I finally pulled myself up and headed back to my bedroom only until I saw Xavier heading out of his room, crying. I rushed to his side and wished that he wouldn't smell the stingy scent of alcohol from my breath."Xavier." I cooed. "What happened?""Mommy I had a n
84T H E A“Why didn’t you tell him?”Benedict's question still lingers in my mind.Why didn't I tell Sebastian back in the day?I have been asking myself that same question over and over again for the past couple of years. I used to tell myself that I wasn't ready and I know I wasn't ready. I lied to myself when I said I was ready to confess to him about our child but I was absentmindedly denying the fact that my mind was filled with so many thoughts as soon as I faced Sebastian.When I saw him, I was reminded of how he raped me mercilessly. When I saw him, I was reminded of how dirty of a woman I was. When I saw him, I was reminded of how I didn't want this baby to be born if only it hadn't been for Ben.Ben has always been my rock and my strength after everything that happened to me. All these years, he accepted me no matter what and I have been beyond blessed to have a man like that in my life.That kind of love and care he showed me is going to be something I didn't want to waste
83T H E AI stare at my own reflection in front of the mirror, I gained weight but I look different compared to the old me a few weeks ago. My eyes travelled down to my baby bump and as I turn to my side, I feel more anxiety building in the back of my head. I am not confident enough that I will be a good mother to this baby once it’s out when I know this baby came from a man who I trusted so much but just raped me. My bump is starting to show now and I know I have a lifelong responsibility waiting ahead of me. I just hope I will be responsible enough.I rub my hand over my small tummy then smiled at myself.“You will be fine.” I told my baby.Ben is here for me and for us. He always has. He made everything feel better. He made me better and happier without asking too much in return. He is a very selfless man and I owe him my life. My everything and all that I have left.I breathe out heavily and tucked my hair behind my ears as I stare at myself wearing this white dress and white ba
82B E N E D I C TShe stands by the balcony sliding door, staring at an empty space wearing my shirt and some pajamas. Standing here afar from Thea, looking at her, I can see and I can feel that her mind is full. It’s full of endless thoughts and worries. I wish I could take some from her restless bothered thoughts and I wish I could help her with what she is going through.Thea is strong but I don’t want her to have another breakdown. I hope I can share the pain and confusions she is going through right now. I wish, at least I could make her happy despite of what has happened lately.But I don’t know what to do as well.I am bothered too, restless, anxious, troubled and angry. I still have this growing hate in me and unwillingness to befriend Sebastian.I hate him.I walk towards Thea and wrapped my arms around her. She didn’t budge but still sets her eyes out the window. “There are no stars tonight.” I say.She sighs heavily.“Aren’t you hungry sweetheart?” I ask.She didn’t answer
81B E N E D I C T“The CEO of Saintclare Enterprises , finally off the market!!”I read mentally the newspaper’s headlines as soon as I got into my office. I scan through the magazines which were also over my desk, and the headlines were also all about me.I sigh. “I knew this was gonna come out first thing in the morning.”The phone on top of my desk rings, I quickly picked it up, “Yes.”“Mr. Saintclare everyone is calling in for an interview with you. They’re all asking if you have any available time.” I can hear telephones ringing from my secretary’s background.“Cancel all interviews. Tell them I have a busy schedule up until next week.” I hung up.Suddenly the phone in my pocket rings. I stare at the screen and it was Mrs. Brown, my PR.I sigh as I answer, “I know what you’re going to say.”“It’s everywhere. My phone has been ringing since six o’clock this morning. I don’t know what to answer them.”“Did you say anything about Thea?”“No. Not unless you tell me to. I’m only wait
80BENEDICTI stare at Thea, and she has been looking out of the window for minutes now. I know she still has a lot of things in mind with what has happened lately and I’m sure she’s tired of thinking about it too. She has talked to Khaleel and I have had talked to him too. Despite her past, we wanted to keep it to ourselves than letting the others know about it. They wouldn’t understand what she went through to survive and it isn’t our story to tell.I have asked myself a couple of times why she had to choose such job but then I didn’t have the courage to ask her. I don’t want her to feel bad about herself and the more I ask about her past, the more she would think it bothers me.Honestly, it has been in the past and we all have had done crazy shit a thing or two. All of us deserves a second chance and women like Thea who strives hard to change herself to become a better woman deserves more than that. I am proud of her and she knows it.A smile creeps on her face as soon as I rubbed
79THEASometimes, in our lives there are instances when you just want to disappear because of awkward situations or embarrassing moments. And right now, that’s what I want to happen. I want to teleport to another place far from here.It feels like everything inside my system malfunctioned and brain feels dead. I have never felt more disgusted of myself and my past than how Sebastian is embarrassing me right now in front of Ben. No one has ever made me feel so little of myself, only Sebastian.This bastard. This one of a hell man. I wish he dies.My tears were just flowing from my closed eyes and I feel this growing pain against my chest. I try to breathe in but the pain grows as I exhale so I remained quiet. I don’t want to face anyone or see how they look at me with disgust and filth. I just want to disappear like one pop of a bubble or run out of this house and never look back.But I cant, I know I have to face them now. I have to face Khaleel. I have to face Benedict even if it’s