64T H E AI breathe out and opened my eyes.I'm back to the present time.I see Liv standing right next to me and he stares at me sorrily with rueful eyes. But I don't regret leaving him. I didn't regret leaving him and ending what I had with him. I was free from being controlled on what to do and being told what I shouldn't do.I was free from pain.I looked away from him and exhaled heavily. I can still recall how painful it was for me to go through those timea when I was being with him and to leave him alone. But I knew I just have to do it for my own good even though I loved him very dearly."Vi..." His voice weakens. "I have been trying to change and to control myself ever since you left. I am trying. I swear.""Then I'm happy for that." I answer him.He shakes his head. "I'm not. I'm not happy about losing you. I have never felt like the other half of my life is missing."I walk closer to him and held his cheek. "Liv, it's been years and we've all moved on."There was a long pa
65SEBASTIANTHE NIGHT BEFORE...I have never been disappointed.I'm not mad at Thea, but I'm mad at myself for not being enough. I wonder what was wrong with what I did. I thought if I kept pursuing her, she would probably feel the same way as I do. I thought if I kept on showering her with gifts and taking her to places, she would like it.But why?Why doesn't she see that all the things that I am doing for her is just showing my appreciation?Why doesn't she fall in love with me?Why?I groan as I pulled myself up from my bed. I glance at my wall clock, it was already four in the morning but I still couldn't sleep. I wanted to talk to her but I don't want to annoy her too much.I sigh."I think I should talk to her." I mumbled to myself.I pulled myself up from my bed and grabbed a shirt. I put it on me and walked towards my door. I know it's stupid to talk to her this late but then I have this urging feeling where I really wanna talk to her. I don't know what I will say, but I'm s
66THEAWhen I got back up to my room after that talk with Khaleel by the shore, I felt more and more confused on what really happened that night. I had so many questions in my head that were unanswered that only Benedict or Sebastian can answer.I groan.I exhale heavily and closed the door behind me. My eyes scanned around the room then all of a sudden, I saw a letter on the floor. My brows creasing as I knelt down to pick it up. My name was written in cursive in front of the envelope and as I stand back up, I opened the letter which was written in cursive too. It was just beautifully written in cursive with a black inked sign pen.Miss Thibault,As soon as you read this, I have already left. But I have never showed you my appreciation for coming into my life and how you turned it into a roller coaster Miss Thibault. You made me do things that I didn't wanna do before. You made me feel feelings that I didn't know I was capable of. You showed me how to be alive again. Thank you. When
67THEABENEDICT: I can't pick you up.He can't pick me up?Worried filled me. What does that mean?Our date is cancelled?For what reason?I felt disappointed.I was expecting so much for this but he just let me down. I felt terribly sad after reading his message and felt a little mad at him for the short notice of cancelling our date. I was really looking forward for everything tonight and I was really freaking excited for it too but then he couldn't keep his promise to me.I sigh.My phone beeps again.BENEDICT: That doesn't mean our date is cancelled :) My driver will be the one to pick you up.A small smile creeps on my face and felt like thorns were pulled out from my chest. I can breathe again.ME: I thought you cancelled our date on the last minute.BENEDICT: I can't be that mean. He will take you somewhere. Don't worry, he knows what's he gonna do. I will see you in a few minutes.I smiled.BENEDICT: I can't wait.A bigger smile creeps on my face.I.Squealed.Suddenly, someo
68THEAWhen the car stopped, we reached to a private building which was a house. It wasn't just an ordinary house, but a very huge one instead. It was eerily quiet and my eyes were glued on the all-glass mansion.Wow. I said breathlessly as soon as Ben opened the passenger seat's door and helped me out."Your new home?" I asked him.He nods subtly. "I bought it as soon as it was for sale."A house.A new house.I gasped inwardly. "It means you're gonna be living here in Seattle for a long time?"Ben just stared at me for 5 solid seconds and I dont know what that look on his eyes means but I already know the answer to my question."I bought it in case I need to come here again in Seattle." He answers.I exhaled with relief."I'm still gonna be living in London. But I'm a busier man now." He adds.The skin on my forehead folds. "What does that mean?"He smiles subtly and squeezes my hand."That 9-hour flight made you think of too much." Ben kisses my knuckles.I melt."Because you're s
69THEABenedict pulled himself away after hearing those words coming from me.Why?He stares at me eagerly with no words coming out from his mouth.Why does he look at me differently? Why does he look at me like that? Is he sympathizing me?We were both silent. It wasn't just an ordinary type of silence but there was something else. My heart was beating crazy inside my chest after letting go of those words and his silence was making my heartbeat much crazier.Shit."Say something..." I muffled softly.I waited…But nothing is coming out from his mouth.I take a deep breath in and exhaled as I said the word…"Please." I pleaded.He blinks at me twice before he could say, "You love me."I nod without hesitation. "Yes.""I dont know when I felt it. I guess I have been trying to deny it for so many times when I knew what I really felt about you." My lips shaking.I exhale heavily while I play with my fingers as my eyes set on my lap. "I knew it was there, I just didn't mind about it. And
70THEAGoodbye...What's good in goodbyes?I wonder why there are some points in our lives when we need to get hurt just to learn some lessons. I wonder why some people would come to our lives and then would stay but most people would just come and go.So quick.No excuse. No warnings. No heads up.They just leave….so suddenly.So easily.I wonder why people do that. I wonder why how a person can easily leave forgetting all the things and times that you two shared together.And those people who leaves, are the ones who we wanted to stay."Thea?"I travelled my eyes back to Sebastian as he sits there on the chair across me."You okay?" He asked before putting the piece of meat inside his mouth.I nod as I take a quick sip from my glass of wine."Yes. The foods are amazing here." I commented but I honestly didn’t like what he ordered for me.Sebastian smiled happily."I’m happy you love it." He says.I stare out of the window again and London is still the same. Thick snow has covered
71THEAIt’s Ben.It’s really Benedict Saintclare.When you least expect to see him, that’s when I get to see him out of the blue. I stare eagerly at Benedict and he was also doing the same thing. I couldn’t move, I felt stuck on my seat even though I wanted to leave this pizza place. I’m stuck here, looking back into his alluring bluish-greenish eyes while he doesn’t say a word anymore after greeting me.Honestly?I wanna hug him. I wanna wrap my arms around him. I wanna hold him so tight and tell him that I miss him terribly. It has been two long years and I have been missing him more than I should. I should be mad at him. I should get angry for what he did to me and how he led me on.But…Does he wanna do the same thing to me? I wonder if he also wants to hug me. I wonder if he also wants to wrap his arms around me and lift me off the ground. I wonder if he wants to hug me so tight and tell me that he missed me too.Do you miss me Ben?Because I did.I missed you even though I shou