Chapter Forty

Chapter Forty

Sam

My phone vibrates on the coffee table next to me, waking me up. We didn’t get that far into putting the puzzle together before Jacob got called out for another emergency. I have to give him credit being on-call all the time like that. He’s been in the process of hiring a new vet to join his practice but is incredibly picky and hasn’t found a good fit—not that I blame him.

Mason, Chloe, and I went back into the living room to finish watching the documentary and we all fell asleep. We’re a lively bunch, I know. Chloe is still asleep on the couch next to me, and the soft patter of rain can easily lull me back to sleep. My phone vibrates again, and I sit up to grab it.

It’s Stacey, and the peace I was feeling leaves me, making my stomach clench and my throat tighten. The room swirls around me as the truth sinks in yet again. I’m home in Silver Ridge, at my parents’ house with my brothers and Chloe.

And I’m lying to their fucking faces.

Letting out a breath, I unlock my phone to read Stacey’s text.

Stacey: Hey, you working?

Stacey: If not, want to get some dinner?

It would be easiest to tell her yeah, I’m working, but I’m already trying to keep the truth buried until I know the results of the paternity test and don’t want to convolute it with more lies.

Me: I’m visiting my parents.

Stacey: In Michigan, right?

Me: Yeah.

Stacey: Sounds nice. You didn’t tell them yet, did you?

Me: No, not yet.

Stacey: Good. I want to be there when you tell them. I haven’t told my mom. I want you to be there too.

My eyes fall shut in a long blink. Right. It’s not just Stacey I’ll be involved with. She has siblings, her parents. Cousins. I think most of her family lives around the Chicago area. We’ll have to work out holidays and birthdays. I’ll want my kid on Christmas, of course, but she will too.

Stacey: You don’t want to be there???

Me: I do. I told you, if this is my child then I will be there.

Stacey: IT IS YOURS

Stacey: Sorry. I’m hormonal, I suppose. It makes me sad you don’t trust me.

I never fully felt like I could trust Stacey, which was a big reason I knew we’d never work out long-term. We had fun, got along well enough, but never had that spark.

Me: It’s not that I don’t trust you. Once we get the paternity test results back, there will be no question.

Stacey responds with a thumbs-up. She’s mad, and I don’t want to offend or upset her, but she has to see where I’m coming from. We weren’t exclusive, and the one time we attempted it, she couldn’t stay faithful. I put my phone back down and settle next to Chloe.

A few minutes later, the kitchen door opens and slams shut, waking Mason.

“Shit, did we all fall asleep?”

“Yeah,” I say with a chuckle and sit back up. The noise wakes Chloe, and the three of us take a minute to clear our foggy heads. Following the sound of talking, we go into the kitchen.

My cousin Lennon just walked in carrying pizza. Mom and Dad are in the kitchen with her, getting plates out for dinner. Nana is already in the dining room, glasses pushed down on her nose as she looks at her phone.

“Sam!” Lennon says as soon as she sees me.

“Hey,” I say back, going over to her. “I haven’t seen you since Rory’s wedding. How are you?”

“Wow, it’s been that long? And good. Busy with teaching, but good. How are you?” She looks past me at Chloe. She and Rory talk frequently. I’m sure my sister has told her all about us.

“You remember Chloe, right?”

“I do. It’s so nice to see you again, Chloe.”

“It’s nice to see you too,” Chloe tells her. “I don’t remember the last time I saw you. High school, maybe?”

Lennon laughs. “Probably.

“I am a huge fan of the Shadowfall show. Sorry, just had to get that out of the way. I’ll admit I never read the books, but the trailer for the show hooked me and I’ve been a fan since day one,” Lennon says rather quickly.

Chloe smiles. “That’s always good to hear. It’s kind of scary having my vision leave me and get filmed and directed by someone who’s not me.”

Nana puts down her phone and looks at Chloe, realizing someone else is here.

“My goodness. You look just like Marion, but you can’t be.”

 “This is Chloe,” Mom says. “She’s Marion’s daughter.”

Nana smiles as she slowly comes over. “You’re the spitting image of her. How are you, dear?”

“I’m good.” Chloe’s eyes go to me. “I’m an author now. I write romance novels.”

Nana’s eyes light up. “Is there—” she leans in closer, "—sex in your books?”

“Always,” Chloe says with a wink.

“Well, leave me a copy.”

Mason grimaces, and Chloe laughs. I help Mom put our incomplete puzzles back in their boxes. Not long after, we’re all at the table with plates full of pizza and breadsticks.

“Does the cold rain make you miss LA?” Lennon asks Chloe.

“A bit,” she admits. “I was just telling Sam that I do miss the season changes. Which I say now that I’m not still dealing with three feet of snow in March.” She playfully elbows me. “Now, I just need you to get a job in LA. There are lots of hospitals out there.”

“You both should come here,” Mom interjects.

Nana, just now realizing Chloe and I are dating, clicks her tongue. “They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but a cold bed isn’t good for any relationship.”

Chloe’s eyes widen a bit in shock, but she doesn’t miss a beat. “I don’t like the distance,” she starts. “But we’ll make it work.” She turns to me, smile on her pretty face. “Luckily, we’re both able to travel on our days off. And it helps I can write wherever I am.”

“Flying back and forth can get old fast,” Dad warns. “Be careful not to let it build resentment between you two.”

“We’ll take turns,” Chloe goes on, and I so badly want to assure everyone—especially Chloe—that we will and that everything will be fine.

But I won’t make a promise I can’t keep.

*

“I do miss this,” she says quietly. “It’s so peaceful here, and I’m really excited to see snow again.”

“I’ll remind you of that when you’re scraping ice off your car,” I tease, reaching over and resting my hand on her thigh.

We change into our PJs once we get back to Chloe’s dad’s house, and then sit on the living room couch, searching for something to watch. We’re both dozing off halfway through the movie and go upstairs to go to bed.

“I had a really nice time today,” she tells me, pulling the blankets up over her shoulder. “It wasn’t the most eventful day, but it was nice.”

“It was.”

“We should make this a thing,” she says. “Like once a month or every other month if you want to be realistic.” She yawns. “We come back here and just chill and unwind.”

“I’d love to do that.” I slowly run my fingers up and down her arm.

“Then let’s do it.” She tips her head up, and I can see the hope and excitement on her face through the dark. “Long-distance is hard, we can’t kid ourselves there. But we’re both able to travel around our work schedules, and having a mini-vacation to look forward to will really help.”

“Yeah,” I say and force myself to take a slow breath. Chloe’s head is resting on my chest. She’ll be able to hear it when my heart starts pounding with dread. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” she says sleepily, and lets her eyes fall shut. I try to stay awake as long as I can, enjoying holding Chloe like this. I don’t ever want to have a last time, but the voice in the back of my head tells me it might happen soon. Long-distance is hard, and not having the freedom to travel could be a deal-breaker for Chloe, as well as having my baby-mama living with me for the first few months of our baby’s life.

Chloe’s breathing slows, becoming rhythmic and steady. It lulls me to sleep, and I dream that Chloe is pregnant instead of Stacey. I wake up a few hours later, alone in bed. Assuming Chloe is in the bathroom, I roll over, waiting for her to come back to bed. Ten minutes later, she’s still not back and the house is quiet.

“Chloe?” I call, getting out of bed. The bathroom light is off, but a light is on downstairs. Blinking, I go down and into the kitchen. “Chloe?” She doesn’t answer, and for a split second, I worry something happened.

Then I noticed the spotlight in the backyard is on, and the door leading to the screened-in porch is unlocked. I see Chloe’s silhouette at the end of the dock. I put my shoes on and walk out to her. The wooden planks creak under my feet, and she jerks around, startled.

“Oh, hey.” Moonlight bathes her pretty face.

“What are you doing out here?”

“I woke up and couldn’t fall back asleep.” Chloe pulls the blanket tight around her shoulders, breath clouding around her as she speaks. “And I didn’t want to wake you up since you should be sleeping right now,” she adds pointedly. “You have to drive back to Chicago tomorrow and then get up early for work.”

“I’ll be fine. I’m just working my regular hours on Monday.”

“Really?” She raises her eyebrows.

“Fine. It’s still a twelve-hour shift.” I sit on the dock next to her, and she takes the blanket from her shoulders and drapes it over the both of us. “I woke up and you were gone.”

“I came out here to think.”

“About what?” My heart jumps into my throat.

“Everything,” she says with a smile, tipping her head up to look at me. The pale moonlight highlights the little freckles on her cheeks. Goddamn this woman is beautiful. “It’s kinda funny, isn’t it?”

“Maybe? Depends on what it is.”

“How everything came full circle.” She rests her head on my shoulder, and I let my eyes fall shut. “This is where we met. Where I fell in love with you and where you fell in love with me, but neither of us let the other know. For years, Sam, years, it killed me watching you be with anyone but me. And then, well, you know what happened. But look, we’re right back here again, right where it all started. And this time, we’re still in love, together.”

I’m not an emotional person, but her words do something to me. I look out at Silver Lake, heart in my throat. She’s right in saying everything came full circle, because it did. But that doesn’t mean our story ends here, not with a happily ever after, at least. I fucked things up with Chloe once, and I swore I’d never do it again.

And that’s what’s funny—to the universe, at least, because I’m sure as shit not laughing. We’re right back where it all started, and this is also where things are going to end.