"Anong chapter ka na?"
Ibinaba ko ang binabasa kong libro sa aking kandungan, "Malapit na ako sa Epilogue! yey!" magiliw kong tugon kay Elouise.
Napahawak ako sa buhok ko nang umihip ang malakas na hangin sa gawi namin ng mga kaibigan ko. Huminga ako ng malalim habang nakaupo kami sa damuhan at pinagmamasdan ang malawak na bukirin dito sa aming lugar. Tuwing hapon, pagkatapos ng klase at pagkagaling sa eskwelahan ay dito kami tumatambay.
"Duda akong hindi mo muna binasa iyong Epilogue bago ang prologue, Lodicakes" natatawang sabi sa akin ng isa sa mga kaibigan ko, si Eris.
Okay, she got me!
Malakas na tumawa si Kim, "Sigurista kasi si Ryll! takot mamatayan ng character! 'di ba Judy?" ani nito at inakbayan pa si Judy. Nag-thumbs up si Judy sakaniya bilang pag sang-ayon.Sinamaan ko ng tingin ang katabi kong tuwang-tuwa, si Elouise, "Strategy ang tawag do'n, mga buang.""Manood ka nalang anime, gastos mo bili ka nang bili ng libro," sabi ng pinsan kong nasa tabi ni El.Tinaasan ko ito ng kilay, "Ulol, hindi ako magpapabudol sa'yo 'no!"
"Hayaan n'yo na s'ya.." maikling sabi ni Elouise. My cousin, Joseph just shrugged beside him. Bumalik na sa pagbabasa ng manga.
I want to be an editor. Bata pa lang, mahilig na talaga akong magbasa ng mga pocket books or any kinds of Romance books. So, why not try my luck, right?Ipinagpatuloy ko ang pagbabasa ko habang hinihintay na lumubog ang araw. Samantalang si Eris ay nagsusulat, si Kim naman ay tinuturuan na naman ng kung ano-ano si Judy. She's quite pure and naive."The sun was already setting," imporma ni Elouise sa amin. Isinara ko ulit ang librong binabasa ko at dahan-dahan kong ipinikit ang mga mata ko.
I used to wish something whenever I watch the sunsets. Believing that my wish would come true.
"What did you wish?" tanong ni Elouise.
Ngumiti lang ako at umiling, "Secret, bawal ma-spoil!"
Naaalala ko no'n, noong 1st Year College palang kami, noong nakilala ko si siya. Pumupunta pa kami ni Elouise sa Book Store do'n sa kabilang baranggay para lang magbasa ng bagong story. And now, we are now thank God, we are now graduating! Alam ng mga kaibigan ko na may crush akong author isa pa 'yon sa dahilan kung bakit ako nag take ng course ko ngayon. I really had a huge crush sa Author ng binabasa kong book na "Seasons of April". I don't know pero somehow, nakaka relate ako sa story na'to. Parang napo-portray ko yung sarili ko sa bidang babae do'n na si Autumn. Especially, sa attitude niya."Sana maging magaling akong Editor pagka-graduate.." wala sa sariling sabi ko.
"Magaling ka naman ah," pagpapalakas ni Elouise sa loob ko.
Umiling ako, "Hindi pa kaya!" tanggi ko, "Kung hindi man ako ganoon kagaling, sana maging competent enough ako para.. malay mo, kunin nila akong Editor ako ni Darkheart!"Si DarkHeart kasi ang author ng Seasons of April. So yea, partly talagang may nagtutulak sakin na mas magpursigi pa. That's where my determination comes from.
"Anyway, Elouise.. I'm a little confused.." I breathe out, "I'm not sure if Darkheart is a man or a woman!"He burst out laughing! "Don't worry, I am certain that your favorite author is a man!" he pat my head.Nakahinga ako ng maluwag. Now, that makes sense. Sa mga Author's note kasi ng mga books ni Darkheart, lahat iyon ay para bang love letter. Parang isinulat lahat para lang sa isang taong hinahangaan nito. It is as if he's confessing his feelings through his Author's note."I have something to ask.." "Ask away," I answered."What will you do if someone lied to you?""Well, I'm going to ask the reason why he or she lied to me.. Ganoon.." Itinukod ko ang mga braso ko sa may likuran ko."But you hate liars, remember?" he pointed out.
Tumango ako, "Yes, I hate liars.. but, I don't want to jump into conclusions first.. I have to weigh his or her reasons for me to conclude whether I have to be rational or not.."
"Since when did you grow up, huh?" He pinched my nose. "Kahapon lang, Kuya!" I teased him sabay tawa ko ng malakas!"Huwag ka ngang epal," ginulo niya ang buhok ko.
"E, do you believe in friends that end up being in a relationship?" He asked in his calm soft voice.I shook my head, "Friends to Lovers? Still a no-no for me.." I looked at the sunset. "I won't sacrifice friendship in exchange of love.. that's my rule.""You still have that ridiculous rule? 'Friendship over love'?""It's that, I am just afraid to lose a friend.. For example, paano kung hindi mag-work ang relationship na pinasok nating dalawa? I don't want you and me to end up as strangers. I don't want to lose you.." I explained.Pinagpag ko ang mga kamay kong may mga butil ng lupa at nagsimula ng magligpit ng mga gamit ko.
"I don't want to lose you too.." He whispered, enough for me to hear.Nilingon ko si Elouise, "You won't, trust me!" I said cheerfully. When he smiled, I was relieved.And I won't let that happen too.Sabay nating aabutin ang mga pangarap natin. At pagdating ng panahong iyon, ipinapangako kong mananatili ako sa tabi mo, bilang kaibigan.
"Shuta, ang sikip," Napapikit ako ng mariin habang nakasakay sa masikip na LRT.After graduating with flying colors, ngayon ang unang araw namin sa work sa Publishing Company. Dapat talaga sasabay ako kay Elouise pero hindi sya sumasagot sa tawag or text ko. Kahit sa messenger or instagram, wala! Mukang tinanghali na naman s'ya ng gising. Samantalang, unang araw ng trabaho namin ngayon sa Novia Publishing Company. Aba't mukhang pa chill chill lang s'ya ah! Sana all!I just wore tight jeans and a collared blouse, paired with flat doll shoes, and small stoned earrings. Di na'ko nag abala pang magsuot ng necklace, baka ma-snatch lang. Sayang lang. Masikip pa naman dito.Hindi ko na rin binalak pang mag skirt. Ang hassle saka masyadong easy access sa mga manyak.
Nauna na akong lumabas nang elevator. I stopped and looked in awe. Elouise already walked passed me. I immediately follow him and let my eyes wander again.Habang naglalakad, halos mabali na ang leeg ko kakatingin sa paligid. Wow. This is amazing.We stopped infront of a huge office. My mouth gaped open when Elouise knocked and just went in! Nag antay s'ya sa hamba ng pintuan habang hawak ang door handle. Nang napansin n'yang nagdadalawang isip pa ako kung papasok ba o hindi, tinaasan nya ako ng kilay.What the hell?! Napaka walanghiya ng lalakeng ito! Kahit sobrang kinakabahan, wala akong choice kung hindi ang pumasok. Ta-da! And we just entered the C.E.O's office!At ng walang pak
Napakurapkurap ako at buong lakas kong tinulak palayo ang swivel chair nya kasama sya. Nakatulala ako habang dinadama ang mabilis na tahip ng aking puso. Could you please fucking stay still heart?!"Can't stand an eye contact with me anymore, eh?" He whispered to me so that no one would be disturbed by our so called quarrel."Stop it, you're so annoying," I gave him a deathly glare.Elouise chuckled and returned to his table. Medyo natatawa pa sa nangyari."What? you started it first!" sabi niya pa.Inirapan ko lang siya. I wore my I.D and chose one of those thick manuscripts that was given to me and just focused on it.&
"Shit, that dream again," napabalikwas ako ng bangon habang hinahabol ang aking hininga.Ever since I was a teen, I started to have anxiety attacks and bad dreams. I always dreamt of someone who doesn't have a face. His face was blank. And that someone would chase me, of course I'll run because I am scared of what he could do if ever he catch me. At kapag nahabol na n'ya ako at akmang sasaksakin na gamit ang dala n'yang kutsilyo, bigla nalang bumubukas ang mga mata ko. I would always wake up in the morning, panting because of that nightmare.My family doesn't know that I am having this kind of situation. Even my friends. Hindi naman kasi nila ako tinatanong. Ugali ko na talagang kapag hindi nila tinatanong, hindi ako nagsasabi. I don't want to burden them just because I'm a mess inside. I know I always saying that 'I hate liars' but, I think I didn't lie tho. They didn't a
"It's weekend, come on! let's go to Zambales!" It was a stressful week. So I think I need to unwind. Ang bahay ng tiyahin ko ay malapit lang sa dagat. Walking distance only, actually. It's a good thing we're having a face time right now so I told them my idea. Tumingin ako kay Elouise na nasa tapat ko lang. Nandito kami sa may center table sa may sala. Naka indian sit kami, dala ang mga laptop namin. It was literally a face time for us. Eris grinned excitedly on the screen. "Now, that's a great idea what are we waiting for? let's go! I need a break too!" All of them agreed. Magkikita kita nalang kami rito sa condo, after 2 hours. Then we're off to go. Ito ang patunay na lahat ng biglaang lakad, natutuloy. Nag prepare na rin kami ng mga dadalhin namin. Like, food, beverages, tents m
That weekend was a blast! Lahat kami nag enjoy. It was so refreshing and tiring at the same time. I hope we could stay like that forever, but of course we need to go back. Disappointment was dripping inside me.Tulog ako buong biyahe namin pabalik. Gumising lang ako noong nasa building na kami ng condo. Nauna na akong pumasok, dala ang color blue ko na travelling bag na pinaglagyan ng mga damit na ginamit ko.Pagpasok na pagpasok ko sa aking kuwarto ay pagod kong ibinagsak ang katawan ko sa malambot na kama. Nakatulog agad ako. Kahit ang insomnia ko ay hindi na napigilan ang antok ko.Days had passed like a whirl wind. Its now our fifth month working here.Tutok na tutok ang mga mata ko sa story na ini-edit ko. Minamadali ko ito dahil after ng editing ay titingnan ko pa kung kailangan pa ng revision. Of course to make the story
After reading his Author's note, I slowly closed the book. Oh my God. I still can't belive it. How come I received this book anyway? Sino naman kaya ang may mabuting pusong nakaalala sa akin at ipinagtabi pa ako ng kopya na ito. I shooked my curious little head."Ryll, hindi ka pa magla-lunch?"Napa-angat ako ng tingin sa nagsalita. It was Jomarie. A smile plastered on his face. Sometimes, I smell something fishy with these two. Jomarie and Rio. But, well I think it's impossible. Or maybe not.They're just so close to each other. I pity him. Rio is spoil rotten. Her mom doesn't want her to work as an editor but it's her decision when she applied for the job.Dinalahan pa nga s'ya ng mommy n'ya ng mas malaking swivel chair at ng bagong laptop para mas maging kumportable s'ya habang nagta-trabaho. But of course, she h
I ran. Parang bombang sumabog kanina sa akin ang impormasyong iyon. Paano n'ya naitago sa akin iyon? Paano? Imposible iyon, paanong s'ya si Darkheart? I stopped only when I noticed that I already got away from the building where Elouise is. Madilim na ang langit. Hinahabol ko pa ang hininga ko. Then realization hit me hard. I bit my lower lip. Nag-flashback bigla sa utak ko. Yung pagkakataong mukha s'yang stressed, iyong mga pagkakataon na wala s'ya sa table n'ya. Does it make any sense? Pero paanong kahit sinong emplayado roon ay wala manlang nabanggit na s'ya iyon? bakit parang hindi naman s'ya kilala ro'n? Mapakla akong natawa. Malamang kinontsaba n'ya ang lahat nang nandoon para walang magsalita kahit isa. Why I am so stupid? Naglalakad na ako ng biglaang bumuhos ang ulan! Cra
I got choked by her sudden question! Bwiset talaga 'tong mga ito. "A-Ano ba namang tanong iyan?!" Umubo-ubo ako, with a look of disbelief in my face. Kim pushed back her hair while waiting for my answer, seated on the sofa. Her eyes were telling that she's eager for my response. "Curious lang kami. Ano ka ba, 'wag kang Kill joy!" Umirap si Eris, pinipilit akong sumagot sa walang kwenta niyang tanong. It's not something to brag about! Her famn question is ridiculous to answer! What the hell! "H'wag mo siyang pilitin sumagot, gaga." Saway ni Kim kay Eris. "It is a private matter, gunggong ka." Nag-thumbs up ako ng palihim kay Kim, tinanguan niya ako pabalik. "Oo nga, there's a line, o." Segunda ko pa. I made a face. Nanliit ang mga mata ni Eris. "Hhmm, base sa itsura ng mukha mo, you guys didn't do the nasty pa.." Her brows shot up and down again, feeling like a detective. "Just make outs, am I right?" I frowned. What the heck? How the hell did she get that answer just from lo
Nagmamadali akong bumaba ng kotse pagtapos kong i-park sa parking. Habang nasa elevator ako naisipan kong i-text si Elouise to say sorry dahil pinaghintay ko s'ya at para sabihin na rin na nasa ospital ako dahil nandito si Eris. Para makasunod na rin siya kasama sila Joseph at Kim. To Elouise: Love, I'm sorry. I am at the hospital, I can't attend you right now. I send it first then message him again. To Elouise: Nandito sa ospital si Eris. Tinawagan ako ni Read kanina habang papunta ako d'yan. Sunod kayo rito :(( I text him also the address of the hospital. May mga kasabay akong pasyente, tipid akong ngumiti kay lolo na nakaupo wheel chair. Apo niya siguro 'yung kasama niya dahil medyo bata pa ito. Gaya ko ay naghihintay rin silang huminto yung elevator sa 4th floor dahil yun din ang pinindot noong kasam
"Thank you, ingat ka!" "You too. Kumain ka na." Kumaway ako kay Elouise bago sumara 'yung elevator. Hinatid niya lang talaga 'yung lunch ko at kailangan n'yang bumalik agad kasi marami pa daw s'yang naiwang trabaho sa opisina. "Iyan ang when." Sabi ni Lane nang magkasalubong ko ulit siya habang papunta na ako sa opisina ni Eris, dala ang lunch box na bigay ni Elouise. "Wala pa rin bang lalaki na pasok d'yan sa standards mo?" Tanong ko sakaniya. Nagkibit-balikat lang siya. "Nako, hindi mo sure." I looked at her warily. "Seriously, sino?" Her answer is neutral. Ayaw pa sabihin sa akin, parang others! "Wala nga! sige na kumain kana do'n." Pagtatabo
"Oh saan ka pupunta?"Rinig kong tanong ni Eris habang pababa ako ng hagdan. Nasa tabi niya si Kim, nakaupo sa sofa gamit ang laptop niya."Good morning!" Masayang sabi ko bago tuluyang makababa ng hagdan. Kinindatan ko silang dalawa kaya kumunot ang mga noo nila."Good morning, saan ka nga pupunta?" Tanong ulit ni Eris. Duh, hindi ba obvious? papasok ako sa trabaho syempre! Nakabihis na kasi ako ng pang-office. Ganoon din naman silang dalawa."Syempre, I am going to work!" Tumaas ang dalawang kilay nila sa akin. Bumaling na rin si Kim sa gawi ko.Ano ba kasing problema nila? gusto ko lang naman magtrabaho. At isa pa, kaliwang kamay ko lang ang may benda, e right handed naman ako kaya makakapag-type pa rin ako sa laptop ko.Nagkatinginan sila Eris a
"Anong sabi?"Eris asked curiously. Sumunod pala siya sa amin. Tumigil na ang tunog ng door bell. I felt really sad to find him feeling sorry to me for the sake of her. Well in fact, he didn't do anything wrong. I just noticed, I am being unreasonable now. He's just being nice to his friend— colleague. But Nica did this to me, my alter ego said. And he really believed that it was my fault."Should I talk to him now or tomorrow?" Tiningnan ko silang dalawa.Nagkatinginan rin sila sa tanong ko. "I think you should talk to him right now. Masamang pinapatagal ang away and besides, wala naman siya sa scene na nabuhusan ka ng bagong kulo'ng tubig.." Kim spoke. "And he tend to believe what you said on the spot kesa alamin pa ang totoong nangyari kasi, you have his full trust so he believed what you said." She sort it out calmly. I admire Kim for not being rash for circ
"Don't touch me."I tried so hard not to wince in pain. Mariin ang pagkakakagat ko sa pang-ibabang labi."What happened, Love?" He asked worriedly. Humakbang siya palapit sa akin at marahang hinawakan ang braso ko.I look at Elouise's worried face. I suddenly want to cry. I didn't do anything wrong, why did she do this to me? Tiningnan ko ang mukha ni Nica. She looked so started on what she have done. Binalik ko ang tingin ko kay Elouise. Masama na siyang nakatingin kay Nica."What happened, Nics?" He asked. Still looking for an answer from the both of us. I could only hear our heavy breathing."I—I was.." She went pale. I sighed."It was my fault." I told him instead. "I annoyed her, that's why." Nangingi
"Uh, hello." I said awkwardly.Shit. I suddenly got nervous. Hindi naman nasabi ni Elouise na may darating siyang bisita. Lumingon siya sa akin habang nagtatanggal ng sapatos si Nica. Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. Elouise Paz, you're dead meat.He look at me innocently. Inirapan ko siya para ipakitang naiinis ako. Sana sinabi niya ng maaga na may bisita s'ya para binitbit ko rin sila Eris at Kim dito!"I'm sorry.." Biglang sabi ni Nica. "Amnnv b I interrupting something?" Nagpabalik-balik ang tingin niya sa aming dalawa ni Elouise. Yes, girl. You are obviously interrupting our dinner. I chose to keep it in. I am not that rude to say that to her face. I was just so startled to see her. And, what's with her and Elouise' doorbell?Nginitian ko siya. "No, wala naman." Gumilid ako para malaki ang dadaanan n
"Ewan ko ha, but I think she's trying to woo Elouise."Sabi ni Eris habang nag-aagahan kami bago pumasok sa trabaho. Kinwento ko sakaniya na pumunta si Janica sa condo ni Elouise."He told me naman na there's nothing to worry about Nica." Sabi ko habang ngumunguya.Eris brow shot up. "Well, if he say so. May tiwala naman ako kay Elouise, pare. Pero doon sa Nica, wala."I sighed. "Same, jusko."Hinaayan ko nalang 'yon at pumasok ng maaga sa opisina. Pagdating ko palang sa cubicle ko binuksan ang phone ko. I saw his text since last night. Hindi naman ako galit at nagtatampo. Nakatulugan ko lang talaga phone ko kagabi kaya hindi na ako nakapag reply sa messages niya.From Elouise:Lov
"W-What did you just say?"He caught me off guard with what he said. I am looking at him with wide eyes! I mean, maybe I am hearing things?"Why? you think my proposal is ridiculous?" Elouise turned to me.Ridiculous my ass. Sinong nagsabi? wala naman akong sinabi. Ang sarap kaya sa pandinig ng sinabi niya to the point na hindi na ako nakapag react ng maayos."Ano nga ulit sinabi mo?""I don't want to repeat it again, it's embarrassing." I saw his ears turned red.Tinaasan ko siya ng dalawang kilay. "So you are saying that I am an embarassment?" I joked.He frowned. "What? No." Tiningnan niya ako ng masama. "I know you heard it. What I just say is just a.." Hindi niya matuloy