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052

Author: C.L.Lisianto
last update Last Updated: 2023-03-13 20:48:07

"I read it aloud, voice shaking, tears wanting to be released once more.

“Dear Anne,

I know I promised to disappear from your life. I know I promised so much over the time we stayed together and even after. After you helped me, after you were by my side even though I didn't deserve it. I know well, I know all this. But something greater impels me to write to you. Something I promised so much not to do, something I swore to myself I wouldn't do.

I want to make you a request. Or rather, I need to. I need to appeal to you. But first I need to tell you why I'm asking you this. The reason why I'll put aside any and all shame, yes, I've turned into an accomplished poker face.

Well, the beginning of my story you already know. So many mishaps of my adolescence and youth, I believe you also remember and in detail. But there's a phase, a very specific phase of my childhood, that I haven't told you about yet. I don't think I told anyone. Not for Lorenzo, not for my parents. When I turned five,
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    Loretta's words about "keeping up with the other teacher" hit home with me.In my head, it was just a kiss.And many inconvenient and unanswered messages afterwards.So that was it. It was time to answer Stephen Welsh."Any forecast of the arrival of Peter's parents? - I ask Loretta after a while." Just a few more hours. It feels like I've been living in this hospital for years." Do you want to go to the barracks and rest? You need to take a shower, change your clothes… I'll let you know if there's anything new."Any news, please." Any news like him shaking my hand again, leave it."Seriously, Aria!"Okay, I'm kidding. And the book, are you enjoying it?" Yes, I managed to distract myself. Not as much as you, who fell asleep, but I will continue reading, if you don't mind."Of course! I'll finish Doce Ana and then we can switch." Combined.***As soon as Loretta leaves, I pick up my phone to search through the history for messages from Stephen. I remember deleting the previous one

    Last Updated : 2023-03-13
  • At Break Time   054

    “Nothing seemed to make sense so far. As I tried to piece together an improbable puzzle in my mind, the more my head throbbed with pain. It was almost impossible to attach any meaning to those riddles. Marks and mysteries, the title itself was already a riddle. I, who had gradually climbed to better positions in my career in the police, now felt like an ugly duckling and incapable of solving an apparently simple investigation. In fact, only apparently, because deep down, that race to find some meaning seemed to have no end.Lucas returned to the room once he had finished his reports."Do you want something, love? - He asks, as soon as he opens the door.I thought about answering him “yes, my daughter back in my arms”, but in a way I would also be cruel to him. Lucas was the best father Clara could have. Responsible, present and very owl. He stifled his own despair to make me as stable as possible. That was clear, I saw it, but unfortunately I never managed to reciprocate. I was a life

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  • At Break Time   055

    I close the book, take off my glasses and run my fingers over my eyes in an attempt to keep myself awake. By the time I was immersed in reading, Stephen must be arriving, so I walk to the reception to wait for him.Before that, I pass in front of the room where Peter is still hospitalized. The nurse waves at me and smiles, as if to say “everything is fine, but everything is the same around here”.My stomach turns with hunger. The last thing I had was the coffee brought by Loretta.By God, with so much going on, I'm even forgetting to eat.I'm so bored that I distract myself by looking at the LED panel located on one side of the reception desk. The hospital reports change every five minutes. I told."Sorry I'm late.A firm hand touches my shoulder and I react by turning immediately, facing Stephen's figure." Hey." Nice book. Do you understand the metaphor yet? - He asks, directly." So there's a metaphor. - I say, smiling, a little embarrassed." Yes, an excellent metaphor. That's wh

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  • At Break Time   056

    "Dear Diary-Draft,I am grateful for the existence of technology that allows me to write this note now on my cell phone in a draft to later transfer to my physical diary.When I can't bring it with me or when I forget to carry it, using the digital notepad has been my salvation in times of inspiration.Like now.And what an inspiration!Just when I thought the acts of sexual madness had passed their quota, I find myself here, at Metropolity Hospital, wrestling - in a good way - with Professor Stephen Welsh in the supply closet.If there is heaven, I'm not sure I'm going there.Jokes aside, I write once more to rationalize what happened, what just happened.If before I despised him and found him cliché and repulsive, his words made me doubt, which made me uncertain, which gave me dozens of other confused and conflicting feelings. Including the boner.Looks like it all comes down to horny in the end.When I saw him leaving the cafeteria, I just thought it might be his last chance.But l

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  • At Break Time   057

    It's two in the afternoon. I'm in the cafeteria alone with my book, like nothing happened. Maybe it really didn't happen, and so many unlikely adventures are just the fruit of my imagination.I wish.Soon, Loretta will be back and we can visit Peter's room again to see if anything in his state of health has changed in the last few hours.His parents must have already landed and are on their way to the hospital in a car journey. So we hope. Expectations are best, after all, if you consider the big picture.I keep imagining Loretta's reaction if I tell her about the last madness committed. Will you believe?If they told me, I wouldn't believe it.No disrespect to Peter, come on.It was an act of… It was a thoughtless act. That. I can't keep looking for coherent explanations every time I want to spread my legs, right?I passed that phase.I try to immerse myself in reading the book to, if not finish it, try to make the hours go by faster, as apparently, a quickie in the storeroom didn't

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  • At Break Time   058

    "Is it still around?" Loretta is back and is surprised to see me in the same place, with the same book in my hands." Yes, it was the best way I found to distract myself. - I lie, brazenly." He didn't get up, he took a breath...? Impossible. " She notes, incredulous."Okay, I need to tell you something. - I close the book and look at her, resolved to open the game." Is it about Peter? - Her eyes shine with hope, but I will have to thwart her this time." Not yet. But I feel like we'll have good news from him soon too. " I reply, trying not to trip over my own words." Ah. Okay, then tell. You said good news too… What happened that was good in my absence? - Loretta inquires, with a raised eyebrow." First, the usual question. Are you prepared and not going to judge me?Loretta pulls out right away and her mouth opens in a big 'o'." Aria, I can't believe that… Oh, no. Aria! Don't tell me that… - Then, as soon as she realizes the micro scandal, she lowers her voice and starts judging

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  • At Break Time   059

    Loretta has been shaking herself in front of me for at least two minutes, laughing so hard. I look around, starting to get embarrassed.Not that I hadn't already committed far more shameful acts around here...The problem is that I don't see much humor in what I just said, so I can't laugh with her. Even though it sounds like a joke, it's real.The memory hit me in an irremovable way.The same size. The same thickness. The same color. Like replicas.I saw it, I touched it, I sucked it… Well, you get the point.They are virtually identical.And then, I start remembering other characteristics that are common between the two. Both physical and humorous.Both are short-tempered, hot-tempered when contradicted.Of course, very intelligent, true points outside the curve.And both are excellent at what they do and what they set out to do. No description either.Am I really delusional or..." Aria… Aria… oh, sorry babe. I couldn't help but laugh. I mean, sorry I couldn't stop laughing. My lau

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  • At Break Time   060

    Reading the excerpt from the book with the protagonist's plea for her daughter chilled my spine. I myself had not known a stronger relationship than mother and daughter in my entire life.Thoughts that usually haunt me in dreams now invade my mind even when I'm awake.Where is my mother watching over me?Would she be proud of what I've become?Would he find me promiscuous and empty?I try to push those thoughts away along with anxiety as I wait to be called to see Peter. I immerse myself in the reading again, looking for the metaphor's solution, if there is one.“There was little left to complete forty-eight hours after Clara disappeared. Not disappearance, kidnapping. My intuition as a mother and delegate does not fail. Yes, she was taken.I wake up with dozens of notes I made after reading the book left by Victorio. I feel nauseous, my body shivers. It was like I was being transported back almost fifteen years. I swore I wouldn't go through anything like that again, I swore I wouldn

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  • At Break Time   077

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  • At Break Time   072

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  • At Break Time   071

    When class ends and all the students leave the room, including Loretta who runs to the next auditorium, I remain seated to talk to Max.I see he sent a message on his cell phone."Wait for me here or in the council room, please."Geez, he really doesn't want to let me get away.But before I even got the message, I was already determined not to go out to have this conversation with him. A conversation I rehearsed several times, in my dreams, in the shower, in different places, even when awake. A proposal whose content even scares me, due to such audacity.But now I won't go back on it. I need to try. It's stronger than me."Hey professor." I start with my sly voice, which I know always drives you crazy.Max finishes gathering his stuff on the table on the small dais and looks at me over his glasses.“Hi, Aria. How are you?" He asks, seemingly unconcerned that we're alone.“Now I think I'm calmer. Some things are back to normal apparently"."And truth." He pauses. “Well, most things at

  • At Break Time   070

    I arrive late at the auditorium, but miraculously arrive before the professor. Looks like he had to sign the end of his suspension at the rectory first before he came to teach.Unlike before, I wave to Loretta in the distance and take a seat in one of the last rows, blending in and practically disappearing behind the heads of the taller crowd.There are two reasons for this: I really want to hide from Max's gaze during class. And I arrived late, which makes the first option even more viable, as the first few rows of seats are almost all occupied.Before class starts, I text Stephen. As strange as that sounds, it's part of the plan. My strange plan, to be exact. I think of a phishing-style message, to hook him without him noticing.“I miss you and your class. I wanted to see you today, is there any way?”That's pretty straightforward.The students chat excitedly about the latest events of the week as they wait for Max to arrive. Two minutes later, my phone flashes the new message notif

  • At Break Time   069

    Like after a long bad dream, after facing several days in the dark, Monday arrives again, with new air, a new glow. Classes resumed, the case was covered in the local press and the movement of students walking all over the campus returned with a vengeance.Peter is still in recovery. His lungs were badly affected by the water he ended up breathing in."Are you going to make it in time for the first period?" Loretta asks, finishing touching up her lipstick.I still need to brush my hair, which, now waist-length, keeps getting knotted.“I just need to stop by the closet in the main hall to get some books. But I'll meet you in the auditorium.“Okay, don't be too late. She winks mischievously.She knows I'm in an internal battle looking forward to seeing Max again after a week of not making contact. After all.It takes me a few minutes to find the key to the little padlock that opens my hall closet. I know it's in some bag, but it's that old story, which one? I turn everything over, find

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