Aria's POVAfter delicious sex on the veranda, we stayed for a long time just contemplating the sea, lulled by the sound of the waves and the birds. I had never seen Metropolity from this angle before and I was in awe, especially for the company.I confess I didn't know I would enjoy it so much. And with each intimate moment we shared, I felt more and more torn. And a little guilty.Peter's message also echoed in my mind, sending a teasing shiver through me. Like a bad feeling.But I preferred to find a distraction to enjoy every second of this perfect Saturday that was being given to me.Max went into the house to take a shower and make coffee again. He said he would also get a book to read and take his mind off before we ended up having sex again.Which wouldn't be a bad thing, of course.I then proceeded to read The Whore's Secret. Soon, after a few more chapters, I would already have an opinion formed to report to Max.“It was my first time giving a kiss that I could consider real
" Is there a metaphor for the Red House? - I ask Max as soon as he returns from the shower.She's wearing beach shorts and a stripped T-shirt, her hair wet and disheveled from her shower. For the first time, I see him looking even more casual and youthful and I sigh, holding back my will to give it to him again." Hmm... not exactly. It's really a cabaret. Are you enjoying reading?" I'm loving it. I think I'll alternate the books and that way I can give you an opinion more quickly about both." I admire anyone who can do that. I've always focused on one book at a time when it comes to literature."I've always done that. It's just one of my gifts. Harry Potter and IT, the thing. Fifty shades of gray and Anna Karenina. Always alternate." Wow, and they are pretty radical alternations. - Max laughs.He walks over to where I'm sitting and hugs me. We stayed a while longer enjoying ourselves and watching the afternoon fall. The sun hiding behind the horizon line.Suddenly, an inexplicable
Unfortunately we didn't have a jet or any other transport faster than Max's Amarok to take us back to the center of Metropolity. During the trip, a wave of anxiety completely destabilized me. A thousand things were going through my mind, but I didn't have the capacity to organize them into a logical thought."Don't worry, he'll be fine. - Max drives and tries to reassure me by saying positive phrases every five minutes.We've put music on the radio, I've tried napping, but nothing works. I just want to get to the hospital and see how Peter is doing, come face to face with him.I rub my hands all the time, I don't have nails to bite anymore. It's like a sad and tragic dèjavu." Try to read a little, we'll stop later for fuel... I think in less than an hour, we'll be arriving. - Max reassures me once again.I risk following his advice and start reading Doce Ana. It is a novel with a completely different plot than O Segredo da Prostitute. More contemporary, light and reflective, it also
After the first fuel stop, we ate a cold snack at a roadside snack bar to settle our stomach. Max always showed concern for me even though I assured him everything was fine. At least, with my physical body, it was okay." Are you sure? You're white. Drink some more juice, go…At these times, it was almost inevitable to roll one's eyes at his “fatherly” care."No need to overreact, Max. I'm fine. I just want to get there soon." What did you think of the beginning of the book? - He asks, with the good intention of distracting me." It's working. It's excellent storytelling, at least it diverts my attention to something else." That's good, at least. Hit the road again, then? You know I'm driving as fast as possible, but we need to think about our safety too.I give him a wan smile." I know. And I want to thank you for what you're doing..." I haven't done anything yet. - He shrugs and gets into the car.I follow him and resume reading. I need an efficient outlet and the books have wor
" His parents live in Holland. The university got in touch, they should take the next flight here, and maybe tomorrow morning they will be arriving." My God. - Loretta laments." Yeah, but he's not alone. He's under the responsibility of the university and won't be left helpless. - Stephen reiterates, in his completely politicized version."But…- I try to question again." About visits, they should release only in the morning. The crowd now is for him to wake up spontaneously. He is still unconscious, despite breathing normally." I understood." This is really crazy... - Loretta muses and I finally realize how much she likes him, much more than I could have imagined in such a short time.In fact, a lot has happened in such a short time at this university."You still haven't answered me about Mellanie. Did she leave you alone on this one?" She didn't have much choice. Her parents got wind of how influential they are and before they made a scene, she was released home. That's if her
Dear Stupid Diary,Stupid is how I'm going to classify this childish fight between two adult and elitist teachers - and who should be civilized - in front of Metropolity Hospital.As if it weren't enough for us to be distressed by Peter's situation, once again the name of the University comes to the fore when they learn of a fight with the right to nosebleed punches between Max and Stephen.My shame was so much that I didn't even want to know details. It was as if the roles were reversed and I was the only sensible adult in the situation. What do these men have in mind?Apparently, it all started with a provocation from Stephen. Half a dozen stupid words were enough to get Max out of his mind and punch the Welsh right in the middle of the nose. On another occasion I would say well done.But what do they think they are doing?It's a hospital, what the hell!This fight made Loretta understand everything right away. Or almost everything.In fact, everything is in the background now.I kn
I wake up with a start, perspiring and panting. I look at the cell phone. It's still three in the morning. I fell asleep reading the book, I almost lost track of which page I had stopped. I scroll the phone screen, several notifications, including Stephen, Max, my dad and Ethan.I run a hand over my face and feel around the headboard for my glasses so I can read the messages.A bunch of dramatists. “In advance, I want to apologize for the cardboard I made today. Hearing dirty words about you from that worm's mouth made me lose control. I'm on suspension of classes this week, but I'm around. I'll give you the space you need, but anything you know can call to me. Max.” - sent four hours ago.“To prove that your well-being is what matters most to me, I have been suspended from classes this week. The teacher who harasses you but you like to pass the cloth to him is the culprit. I wanted a chance to explain myself to you. And tell you everything I know about what happened to Peter. He's y
Smile for the photo, daughter!Eeeee, uhul!!!!"Now blow out the candle! That's it!!!!“Hahaha, how beautiful, êeeee”Clara's 1st birthday party was memorable, at a luxury party house in Copacabana. There were almost two hundred guests, a meeting that mixed people from various social circles of mine and Lucas. Friends from Petrópolis, from the time of the shelter, professional colleagues at the police station, friends from work of Linda, Claudia, Agatha, colleagues from Lucas's hospital and now also some colleagues from the college where Lucas started to teach, after completing his master's degree.Clara really looked like a princess. Plump, with curly hair as black as mine, she ran back and forth, delighting everyone in the room. She walked with ten months. She spoke her first word at eight. Early all life. It was the reason we smile daily amid so many bad circumstances, like the pandemic.It was early to even be born. When I was eight months pregnant and only a week into maternity
From the bus window, I begin to recognize the place where my father said he would be next to the new house. By my count, there's only another ten minutes to go.I don't know if it was reading during the trip, the many turns the bus took or everything together, but I feel extremely nauseous, hoping that the bus arrives at its destination soon.I avoid eating cookies anymore, I've come to despise them in the last few days, so these are the ones I love so much.I check my phone quickly, no messages. Screen light also gives me a headache. The truth is, I've been feeling weird with unprecedented frequency these past few days. I also felt that my hips are a little wider. I need to stop eating cookies at dawn.Suddenly, the cell phone rings. It's Loretta."Hey friend.""Hi, babe. Are you there yet?""Hmm... almost. Not long, why?""Nothing, I just wanted to know if it arrived okay."" Missing your crazy friend already, I know." Also." She nods. "Don't forget to say hello to Ethan." Never m
“This is about my first time with Doug. He was experienced and I was just a girl. I tried to describe in detail. Enjoy it!Being warm in Doug's arms inside the car was quite inviting considering the chilly Perth night. After the brief flurry of sincerities in the square, we decided to ease the tension with a lighter conversation inside the car. Talk, and some kisses, of course. We talk about different topics. College, family, future. Until, perhaps a little motivated by the effect of the beer, I decided to take the conversation to more uncomfortable paths. After the honesty shown in Doug's words in the square, and after, even after midnight and with a few pints of beer, he hadn't tried anything, I felt more than ever that I could trust him. I felt safe to the point that my desire increased every minute I stayed close to him."You must be quite experienced" I hinted.He chose to ignore it and placated the silence with a kiss. But I had to insist."Well, more than me for sure."What dif
Dear Chaos Diary,Not in a thousand lifetimes would I have imagined that everything would end up like this. My conscience is clear, I was honest all along. With myself and with them.I helped wrap up a story that wasn't even mine. So don't ask me again to feel guilt that isn't my place to bear.Loretta says I went too far. Ethan says I should be in psychiatric treatment with Peter. Everyone says something. But nobody lives for us.We are our choices.And I chose to just live. Live as you can. Live with fulfilling my desires whenever possible. Live Free. No strings attached. No label.Which is not to say without love. Love can be translated in other ways.Not just in that romanticized way, like in books and movies.The genuine love we feel for ourselves and our loved ones, that, yes, should be a priority.Then no. I will not take a fault that is not mine.I'm sorry, spare me, but no.The sick are the others.Those who hide behind trauma, I don't see courage. I see fear.I see cowardice
I get up scared, I almost lose time. Ironic how much my last readings spoke to the situation I was currently going through.A question mark insists on pondering in my mind. But after Loretta broke into a fit of laughter after my last comparison, I never brought up the subject again.It won't be now that I'll be back. I felt compelled to go ahead with my plan above all else. I do one last check of my outfit and make the last adjustments to my makeup. It is at the same time light and seductive.I grab my bag and walk discreetly to the teacher council room. It's three minutes to five o'clock, Max will be waiting for me by now. Fortunately in the conversation I had with Stephen in that same room, Max was busy, in another class, and they didn't bump into each other.Perfect.I'm in front of the luxury wooden door. I look around, assess whether there might be someone lurking in the hallway.Anything.Perfect.I give three soft taps on the door and push it open without waiting for an answer.
“It was a fifteen-minute drive to a modest little house that was located among a few dozen trees, in an area far from the center. Louis and his brother, Gustave, were curious about our search for Jimmy's whereabouts and decided to also embark on “the investigation” after we summarized the story for them along the way." Is there anyone at home? " Paollo asked, as soon as he got out of the car, when he saw the whole place closed." Mary almost never leaves the house. Unless today is really not your lucky day. " Gustave said, trying to relax. Louis went ahead and knocked on the door, which a short time later opened. I breathed relieved. There was still hope of learning more about Jimmy after all." Hi, Mary. I've brought a visit. " Louis said, in a joking tone. The petite woman looked at us with an expression similar to that of the Indian lady. I would also be wary of foreigners on my doorstep. Louis explained the story quickly and she seemed to understand right away. In the end, she
“I also thank you for being honest with me, Professor."“And you said you had a proposal. I'm curious."“I know you're…” I smile slyly.“Okay, I'm listening."“First, I'd like to know how much you're willing to invest, not financially of course, in this pseudo relationship of ours.""After everything I just said, do you have any doubts that I would invest big? Max smiles."“High really high?”“What are you up to, Aria Thomas?” he inquired, completely anxious." I wanted to know if you would really do anything for me… including… trying a threesome."“And do you have any friends who would be up for it?” Or would it be a call girl?“No, you don't understand. I didn't say it would be with one more woman."Max briefly widens his eyes. Clearly, he hadn't expected this one."Well, I confess that it's something I've never done."“Everything has its first time."" I agree, but… it's audacious of you."“I'm proposing this to you because I figured you were an open-minded guy."“I'm open-minded.
When class ends and all the students leave the room, including Loretta who runs to the next auditorium, I remain seated to talk to Max.I see he sent a message on his cell phone."Wait for me here or in the council room, please."Geez, he really doesn't want to let me get away.But before I even got the message, I was already determined not to go out to have this conversation with him. A conversation I rehearsed several times, in my dreams, in the shower, in different places, even when awake. A proposal whose content even scares me, due to such audacity.But now I won't go back on it. I need to try. It's stronger than me."Hey professor." I start with my sly voice, which I know always drives you crazy.Max finishes gathering his stuff on the table on the small dais and looks at me over his glasses.“Hi, Aria. How are you?" He asks, seemingly unconcerned that we're alone.“Now I think I'm calmer. Some things are back to normal apparently"."And truth." He pauses. “Well, most things at
I arrive late at the auditorium, but miraculously arrive before the professor. Looks like he had to sign the end of his suspension at the rectory first before he came to teach.Unlike before, I wave to Loretta in the distance and take a seat in one of the last rows, blending in and practically disappearing behind the heads of the taller crowd.There are two reasons for this: I really want to hide from Max's gaze during class. And I arrived late, which makes the first option even more viable, as the first few rows of seats are almost all occupied.Before class starts, I text Stephen. As strange as that sounds, it's part of the plan. My strange plan, to be exact. I think of a phishing-style message, to hook him without him noticing.“I miss you and your class. I wanted to see you today, is there any way?”That's pretty straightforward.The students chat excitedly about the latest events of the week as they wait for Max to arrive. Two minutes later, my phone flashes the new message notif
Like after a long bad dream, after facing several days in the dark, Monday arrives again, with new air, a new glow. Classes resumed, the case was covered in the local press and the movement of students walking all over the campus returned with a vengeance.Peter is still in recovery. His lungs were badly affected by the water he ended up breathing in."Are you going to make it in time for the first period?" Loretta asks, finishing touching up her lipstick.I still need to brush my hair, which, now waist-length, keeps getting knotted.“I just need to stop by the closet in the main hall to get some books. But I'll meet you in the auditorium.“Okay, don't be too late. She winks mischievously.She knows I'm in an internal battle looking forward to seeing Max again after a week of not making contact. After all.It takes me a few minutes to find the key to the little padlock that opens my hall closet. I know it's in some bag, but it's that old story, which one? I turn everything over, find