Max wakes up and appears in the room wearing only boxing briefs. He caught me in nothing but lingerie on his sofa, fully absorbed in reading and surely berating me for not making coffee." Good morning hottie." Good morning." He abandoned me. - He says, approaching to give me a kiss on the cheek." I was sleepless and didn't want to wake you, I'm sorry."Okay. Enjoying the read?" What do you think? I'm already on chapter three." Productive morning, then. - He jokes. - I'll make us some coffee. What do you usually eat in the morning?"Hmm… wholegrain toast?" You're in luck, I've got all kinds of toast here. And cheese. There's plenty of cheese." Perfect. - I smile in response and take the time to read a little more."" What do you think about getting married?I stand up, suddenly, in disbelief of his words. It felt like a conspiracy. Marien on the river, now the madman himself was proposing madness to me."Calm down Lily, you didn't hear everything..." And I don't even need to.
I close the book, marking it on the last page read, just as Max arrives with the delicately prepared breakfast tray.Must this be how we feel on our honeymoon?" Wow, what a beautiful thing… - Praise, sincerely delighted with the affection." I did my best. I'm not very fond of the kitchen, but I woke up inspired." Everything is perfect. Sorry if I'm being repetitive, but… it's just that I really didn't expect everything to turn out like this…"So how?" He asks suddenly." Wow... like this... These moments, dinner, breakfast, books. I've never experienced this with anyone, I feel special." You're special. And maybe it's because I'm older and more experienced, so… - Max mocks again, nibbling a piece of toast." Stop it! - I hit her shoulder, lightly. " Seriously, thank you. It's making me not want to go back to reality anymore." Reality you say... classes, college, your homework..." Argh! I feel like I'm back in high school with you talking like that. You got it right, teacher… - I
"Any particular reason you started with this book?”Max surprises me again when he steps out of the shower wrapped only in a towel around his waist. I'm lying on the couch, immersed in reading. I already feel at home and he seems to like it. Apparently, his intention is to put me at ease." I don't think so. The title caught my attention the most. - I answer, objectively." You know, when I met you, I reread that book." Serious?" Yes, and you went on to become my Lily. - Max reveals. " Beautiful as a flower…"...but dangerous as thorns." Exactly." He confirms." I had no idea."" From what?" He asks and turns to get dressed."That I took up so much space in your thoughts."I didn't even have that understanding. Until I had the idea of asking you out. And now being with you only confirms my bets. That you are really a unique girl and not just...I roll my eyes before he even finishes his sentence." Not just a girl with a nice body. Sorry, but I'm already fed up with this type of
The smell of roasting meat coming from the kitchen is making my stomach do somersaults as I read The Whore's Secret lying on the sofa.Max seems to want to redeem himself from the inappropriate speech and is dedicating himself to preparing the best lunch in the world and little did I know that he also hid the cooking skill." Do you want help? - I ask, curious about what he is preparing, and how long everything will be ready." It's almost there. Just a few more minutes until the catne is golden. You can lie down there and I'll call you.Before reading on, I check my phone again. The message notification surprises me. It's from Peter."It's in the university?" - sent 5 minutes ago.I respond immediately. A wave of anxiety hits me. He hadn't contacted me in a while."No, I'm out. Is there a problem?"He sends another one a minute later:"When you get back to the republic, let me know?""Of course. But why, did something happen?""Nothing urgent, don't worry." - It sends and goes offlin
Aria's POVAfter delicious sex on the veranda, we stayed for a long time just contemplating the sea, lulled by the sound of the waves and the birds. I had never seen Metropolity from this angle before and I was in awe, especially for the company.I confess I didn't know I would enjoy it so much. And with each intimate moment we shared, I felt more and more torn. And a little guilty.Peter's message also echoed in my mind, sending a teasing shiver through me. Like a bad feeling.But I preferred to find a distraction to enjoy every second of this perfect Saturday that was being given to me.Max went into the house to take a shower and make coffee again. He said he would also get a book to read and take his mind off before we ended up having sex again.Which wouldn't be a bad thing, of course.I then proceeded to read The Whore's Secret. Soon, after a few more chapters, I would already have an opinion formed to report to Max.“It was my first time giving a kiss that I could consider real
" Is there a metaphor for the Red House? - I ask Max as soon as he returns from the shower.She's wearing beach shorts and a stripped T-shirt, her hair wet and disheveled from her shower. For the first time, I see him looking even more casual and youthful and I sigh, holding back my will to give it to him again." Hmm... not exactly. It's really a cabaret. Are you enjoying reading?" I'm loving it. I think I'll alternate the books and that way I can give you an opinion more quickly about both." I admire anyone who can do that. I've always focused on one book at a time when it comes to literature."I've always done that. It's just one of my gifts. Harry Potter and IT, the thing. Fifty shades of gray and Anna Karenina. Always alternate." Wow, and they are pretty radical alternations. - Max laughs.He walks over to where I'm sitting and hugs me. We stayed a while longer enjoying ourselves and watching the afternoon fall. The sun hiding behind the horizon line.Suddenly, an inexplicable
Unfortunately we didn't have a jet or any other transport faster than Max's Amarok to take us back to the center of Metropolity. During the trip, a wave of anxiety completely destabilized me. A thousand things were going through my mind, but I didn't have the capacity to organize them into a logical thought."Don't worry, he'll be fine. - Max drives and tries to reassure me by saying positive phrases every five minutes.We've put music on the radio, I've tried napping, but nothing works. I just want to get to the hospital and see how Peter is doing, come face to face with him.I rub my hands all the time, I don't have nails to bite anymore. It's like a sad and tragic dèjavu." Try to read a little, we'll stop later for fuel... I think in less than an hour, we'll be arriving. - Max reassures me once again.I risk following his advice and start reading Doce Ana. It is a novel with a completely different plot than O Segredo da Prostitute. More contemporary, light and reflective, it also
After the first fuel stop, we ate a cold snack at a roadside snack bar to settle our stomach. Max always showed concern for me even though I assured him everything was fine. At least, with my physical body, it was okay." Are you sure? You're white. Drink some more juice, go…At these times, it was almost inevitable to roll one's eyes at his “fatherly” care."No need to overreact, Max. I'm fine. I just want to get there soon." What did you think of the beginning of the book? - He asks, with the good intention of distracting me." It's working. It's excellent storytelling, at least it diverts my attention to something else." That's good, at least. Hit the road again, then? You know I'm driving as fast as possible, but we need to think about our safety too.I give him a wan smile." I know. And I want to thank you for what you're doing..." I haven't done anything yet. - He shrugs and gets into the car.I follow him and resume reading. I need an efficient outlet and the books have wor
From the bus window, I begin to recognize the place where my father said he would be next to the new house. By my count, there's only another ten minutes to go.I don't know if it was reading during the trip, the many turns the bus took or everything together, but I feel extremely nauseous, hoping that the bus arrives at its destination soon.I avoid eating cookies anymore, I've come to despise them in the last few days, so these are the ones I love so much.I check my phone quickly, no messages. Screen light also gives me a headache. The truth is, I've been feeling weird with unprecedented frequency these past few days. I also felt that my hips are a little wider. I need to stop eating cookies at dawn.Suddenly, the cell phone rings. It's Loretta."Hey friend.""Hi, babe. Are you there yet?""Hmm... almost. Not long, why?""Nothing, I just wanted to know if it arrived okay."" Missing your crazy friend already, I know." Also." She nods. "Don't forget to say hello to Ethan." Never m
“This is about my first time with Doug. He was experienced and I was just a girl. I tried to describe in detail. Enjoy it!Being warm in Doug's arms inside the car was quite inviting considering the chilly Perth night. After the brief flurry of sincerities in the square, we decided to ease the tension with a lighter conversation inside the car. Talk, and some kisses, of course. We talk about different topics. College, family, future. Until, perhaps a little motivated by the effect of the beer, I decided to take the conversation to more uncomfortable paths. After the honesty shown in Doug's words in the square, and after, even after midnight and with a few pints of beer, he hadn't tried anything, I felt more than ever that I could trust him. I felt safe to the point that my desire increased every minute I stayed close to him."You must be quite experienced" I hinted.He chose to ignore it and placated the silence with a kiss. But I had to insist."Well, more than me for sure."What dif
Dear Chaos Diary,Not in a thousand lifetimes would I have imagined that everything would end up like this. My conscience is clear, I was honest all along. With myself and with them.I helped wrap up a story that wasn't even mine. So don't ask me again to feel guilt that isn't my place to bear.Loretta says I went too far. Ethan says I should be in psychiatric treatment with Peter. Everyone says something. But nobody lives for us.We are our choices.And I chose to just live. Live as you can. Live with fulfilling my desires whenever possible. Live Free. No strings attached. No label.Which is not to say without love. Love can be translated in other ways.Not just in that romanticized way, like in books and movies.The genuine love we feel for ourselves and our loved ones, that, yes, should be a priority.Then no. I will not take a fault that is not mine.I'm sorry, spare me, but no.The sick are the others.Those who hide behind trauma, I don't see courage. I see fear.I see cowardice
I get up scared, I almost lose time. Ironic how much my last readings spoke to the situation I was currently going through.A question mark insists on pondering in my mind. But after Loretta broke into a fit of laughter after my last comparison, I never brought up the subject again.It won't be now that I'll be back. I felt compelled to go ahead with my plan above all else. I do one last check of my outfit and make the last adjustments to my makeup. It is at the same time light and seductive.I grab my bag and walk discreetly to the teacher council room. It's three minutes to five o'clock, Max will be waiting for me by now. Fortunately in the conversation I had with Stephen in that same room, Max was busy, in another class, and they didn't bump into each other.Perfect.I'm in front of the luxury wooden door. I look around, assess whether there might be someone lurking in the hallway.Anything.Perfect.I give three soft taps on the door and push it open without waiting for an answer.
“It was a fifteen-minute drive to a modest little house that was located among a few dozen trees, in an area far from the center. Louis and his brother, Gustave, were curious about our search for Jimmy's whereabouts and decided to also embark on “the investigation” after we summarized the story for them along the way." Is there anyone at home? " Paollo asked, as soon as he got out of the car, when he saw the whole place closed." Mary almost never leaves the house. Unless today is really not your lucky day. " Gustave said, trying to relax. Louis went ahead and knocked on the door, which a short time later opened. I breathed relieved. There was still hope of learning more about Jimmy after all." Hi, Mary. I've brought a visit. " Louis said, in a joking tone. The petite woman looked at us with an expression similar to that of the Indian lady. I would also be wary of foreigners on my doorstep. Louis explained the story quickly and she seemed to understand right away. In the end, she
“I also thank you for being honest with me, Professor."“And you said you had a proposal. I'm curious."“I know you're…” I smile slyly.“Okay, I'm listening."“First, I'd like to know how much you're willing to invest, not financially of course, in this pseudo relationship of ours.""After everything I just said, do you have any doubts that I would invest big? Max smiles."“High really high?”“What are you up to, Aria Thomas?” he inquired, completely anxious." I wanted to know if you would really do anything for me… including… trying a threesome."“And do you have any friends who would be up for it?” Or would it be a call girl?“No, you don't understand. I didn't say it would be with one more woman."Max briefly widens his eyes. Clearly, he hadn't expected this one."Well, I confess that it's something I've never done."“Everything has its first time."" I agree, but… it's audacious of you."“I'm proposing this to you because I figured you were an open-minded guy."“I'm open-minded.
When class ends and all the students leave the room, including Loretta who runs to the next auditorium, I remain seated to talk to Max.I see he sent a message on his cell phone."Wait for me here or in the council room, please."Geez, he really doesn't want to let me get away.But before I even got the message, I was already determined not to go out to have this conversation with him. A conversation I rehearsed several times, in my dreams, in the shower, in different places, even when awake. A proposal whose content even scares me, due to such audacity.But now I won't go back on it. I need to try. It's stronger than me."Hey professor." I start with my sly voice, which I know always drives you crazy.Max finishes gathering his stuff on the table on the small dais and looks at me over his glasses.“Hi, Aria. How are you?" He asks, seemingly unconcerned that we're alone.“Now I think I'm calmer. Some things are back to normal apparently"."And truth." He pauses. “Well, most things at
I arrive late at the auditorium, but miraculously arrive before the professor. Looks like he had to sign the end of his suspension at the rectory first before he came to teach.Unlike before, I wave to Loretta in the distance and take a seat in one of the last rows, blending in and practically disappearing behind the heads of the taller crowd.There are two reasons for this: I really want to hide from Max's gaze during class. And I arrived late, which makes the first option even more viable, as the first few rows of seats are almost all occupied.Before class starts, I text Stephen. As strange as that sounds, it's part of the plan. My strange plan, to be exact. I think of a phishing-style message, to hook him without him noticing.“I miss you and your class. I wanted to see you today, is there any way?”That's pretty straightforward.The students chat excitedly about the latest events of the week as they wait for Max to arrive. Two minutes later, my phone flashes the new message notif
Like after a long bad dream, after facing several days in the dark, Monday arrives again, with new air, a new glow. Classes resumed, the case was covered in the local press and the movement of students walking all over the campus returned with a vengeance.Peter is still in recovery. His lungs were badly affected by the water he ended up breathing in."Are you going to make it in time for the first period?" Loretta asks, finishing touching up her lipstick.I still need to brush my hair, which, now waist-length, keeps getting knotted.“I just need to stop by the closet in the main hall to get some books. But I'll meet you in the auditorium.“Okay, don't be too late. She winks mischievously.She knows I'm in an internal battle looking forward to seeing Max again after a week of not making contact. After all.It takes me a few minutes to find the key to the little padlock that opens my hall closet. I know it's in some bag, but it's that old story, which one? I turn everything over, find