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2021-08-11 22:44:40Related chapters
Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts Experience(d)?
All the things left unsaid, were revolving in my head the entire morning. As I left the boy's bathroom at school that morning, I bumped into someone on my way out. It's the last possible person I expected to see. "You go here?!" Akemi was just as surprised as me. She followed me when I ignored her. "So, when can you come to practice with us?" I couldn't return to the classroom like this, she might clash with Amara. Well, I don't know if she's calmed down from last night anyway... I also... for some reason don't want the two of them to meet. "Soon, I think. We're almost finished with the album." "Really? About time!" She clapped her hands together and looked genuinely excited. "You better be ready to bring it, because we've been leveling up without you!" "You're a gamer?" "Huh? No! It's just a phrase." "Okay." When I went silent she seemed ticked off. "Anyways you better hurry up and finish." She walked away. Only then did I return to class. I couldn't tell if it's becau
Last Updated : 2021-08-13Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts The Time is Now
The revised three songs were accepted, as well as the rest of the four tracks. It seems as if the company now plans on re-introducing the Helens to the public by starting off with a solo album first, but at least those other songs are sitting on the back burner. Performace-wise, the rest is up to them. Good luck girls. The Helens all greet me when they all see me outside the practice room now. On my way to ours, I spotted Hayashido-san, she was the quietest but she still dipped her head. I dipped back as I entered our practice room. "Fukuda-san!" "About fucking time!" I was met with a liveliness that was unexpected. This only made me nervous. I practiced the song on my own, but I know band practice was different. They've also been practicing without me and are probably way ahead but well... It's been two years since I even played in a band. I had even given up on performing and just wanted to make music. Here I am again. As I thought the synergy between the band members was on
Last Updated : 2021-08-14Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts Life Goes On
With Claire, Aunt, Uncle, and their entourage gone... I could finally breathe again. Once I used to envy Claire. She had been good at learning languages since young due to her parents' different backgrounds, smart, and obnoxiously confident. Even if Aunt had been a mistress, at least her husband doted on her... even though I'm sure Claire and her mom were ostracized by his family and she clashed with her cousins a lot... I don't think I'd be able to handle that and smile like she does as if nothing is wrong. Where does that strength come from? What inspires her to persist so? Mom's Dad... doted on Aunt too after Divorcing Grandma (Mom's mom was the first wife but she died of cancer long before I was born. The Grandma I know is Grandpa's second wife), even though he ended up cheating again on her, creating my uncles. They're nothing like Mom. You can tell with just a glance. Droplets of love, perhaps if a child is watered that hope and positivity set them up to tackle life? Is that
Last Updated : 2021-09-15Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts Say Hello to my inner Eeyore
A comment popped up in the feed of my suggestions one day. The blog I had started became a little popular when I wasn't looking. I have 103 followers now. It was surprising. It was my day off and I had nothing to do, studying made me light-headed and I was so sick and tired of being cooped up in the salon that I felt like bashing my head against a wall. That was when I suddenly remembered it. Anon: [I heard there are a lot of weird things in Japan? Is that true?] Did I say I was going to Japan? Ah, my last post mentioned it. Hmm... Weird things. I also heard things like that in the past. Since I had nothing to do, I decided to explore the area. Camera, tripod, selfie-stick I packed it away in a bag and ventured off. Ahhhh! It didn't take me long. I snapped a picture. [Weird Thing #1] A vending machine dedicated to bananas. For some reason reading those words made me smile. What the hell? That's so random. This unexpected find made me giddy. I bought one and took a selfi
Last Updated : 2021-09-15Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts Katsumi's Bro
She was waiting on her brother, here. Her parents wouldn't let her brother leave the house by himself, so she accompanied him on his date. His parents didn't know he was dating, he thought they'd be studying. My true thoughts blurted out of my mouth the second she finished explaining. "That sounds incredibly awkward." Taken aback, her small mouth hung open for a bit before sheepishly smiling. Well, fudge. I already blew it so no point in stopping. "Aren't you the third wheel?" I usually try not to show much interest in the affairs of strangers, a sigh escaped me at my strange behavior. I wanted to leave but I ended up sitting in the cafeteria with Katsumi and chatting as we read our purchased manga. After all if I came up with an excuse to leave someone as socially awkward as her would blame herself, at least I would. Was I projecting too much? "It's not so bad..." "Is he even still in this building?" I ask. The light reflected on her lens as she looked up and pulled out her
Last Updated : 2021-09-15Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts Personal Space
That's- I frowned recalling Katsumi's words. "What are you doing? You weirdo." I pushed him out of frame and posed once more to take my shot. "Amara... so cold..." His wobbly and emotional voice made me look his way. He had fallen on the floor, his cheeks flushed. He had tipped over so easily... what the hell?! I felt bad seeing him like that. His face seemed rounder and redder than usual. He really looked like a plush Kagami now. "Are you drunk?" He blinked at me and placed a hand on his knee to stand. I walked over to help. "To think the phrase I could knock you over with just a finger would be true." I held out my hand to help him, and he took it and pressed it against his cheek. My mind went blank, I couldn't help squinting at him. It was dark so I had to double-check if he was a stranger or not. "What...are you doing?" He kissed the back of my hand and I yanked it back. I was going to yell but seeing the glazed look in his eyes, huffed instead. Approaching him from
Last Updated : 2021-09-28Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts Will His Feelings Reach?
Forever. I remember watching those girl friendship cartoons on television. Bratx Vinx Meow Meow Power I remember longing for friends I could huddle around with one day. Wear matching colors or different colors of the same outfit. But... "She's cute y'know but she's sorta weird." I once overheard the guys in my class talking. "She's nice but like, she never says anything." "When I talk to her I feel as if I'm talking to a wall." The girls would say. For the first time, when I met an acquaintance girl who was crying, I remember just staring. If it were me, I wouldn't want people to stare at me. I wouldn't even cry in public. That's embarrassing. If I ask if she's okay would I annoy her? That'd make me annoyed. I would just want to be left alone. "..." In the end, I said nothing. When her friend entered the room, she rushed over and asked her what was wrong and why she was crying. Ah, so that's the natural response... The things that are invasive to me aren't to others.
Last Updated : 2021-10-09Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts The New Challenger
I was surprised at how quickly promoters had reached out to us. According to Hanabusa we had already been booked for seven different venues, I should have expected this, this company is ran by Hiroto Kanzaki, his connections run deep. Still, I wasn't prepared. These past couple of days we've done nothing but practice and underground performances. I'd been wondering how to bring it up to Mom and Amara. Surprisingly both were unfazed and happy for me, it was kinda disappointing, I expected dramatic reactions. Mom was the most shocking. As soon as she heard the news, Mom started packing my bags and her own. She'd be visiting Dad in his apartment over the summer. I felt bad. Like I had been keeping her from meeting him. Should I have moved out for real so she could return to living with him? Why didn't she make the suggestion herself? Why does she have to make me feel like I need to abandon her for her to visit? That morning, I hooked arms with Amara on my walk to school for consola
Last Updated : 2021-10-09
Latest chapter
Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts Do you know you're Black?
That following evening the tension between Amara and Claire came to an all-time head."Don't you think you're being childish?!" I was eating out in the mini courtyard with Izanagi when we heard Claire raising her voice. It was unusual from her bubbly self so I naturally found myself getting up to crack the door open. "What?" "You didn't leave any dinner for me!" I couldn't see Amara but she sounded like she was in the living room."Ohhhh, so now you want to eat from me? Claire can't you see the childish one is you? I mean, why the hell should I make food for you just for you to throw it away, when this isn't a fucking hotel? Money doesn't grow on fucking trees, I know you might because of you're rich Daddy, but we don't do that here. If you want to eat something make it yourself."So she saw what she did this morning huh? I'm surprised she didn't say anything on the spot, she hated wasting food."I only threw it away because you kept being a bitch, like why would I want to eat tha
Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts The Comment Section
We were all gathered downstairs for breakfast when Claire hesitantly made her way down. I spotted her peeking behind the glass wall, from the barstool of the kitchen counter. "Oh, Claire." I've been here for three days, but this was the first time I've seen her.She hesitated at the sight of us."Good Morning." she tried. "Morning!" Izanagi beamed. As she shuffled past him to the fridge she paused. "Um...I'm-""You're good. We're good." She studied him a bit before becoming more Claire-like. There was some bubble in her step when she retrieved a pitcher of orange juice before making her way to the stove where Amara rolled an egg. For some reason, she thought it was a good idea to stick out her head in front of her over the frying pan. "Good Morning!~" Her rejuvenated mood and bubbly smile all seemed to bounce off Amara who shifted away from Claire entirely as she plated the dish. Claire stood there frozen for a second. Maybe Amara was trying to protect her from the oil, or mayb
Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts Disgrace
"You said you wouldn't post it." Claire sat down in her room and sheepishly smiled. "I didn't think it'd be that big of a deal if I posted it in on my other social media in China... I didn't think anyone would know him there." There's been many times in my life where I've been angry with Claire but this was the first time I've ever felt compelled to physically slap some sense into her head. The only thing stopping me was the presence of Izanagi. Still, I couldn't help clenching my fists and taking a breath. Instead, these words escaped me. "Why...why must you always be so selfish?!" She looked up to me in shock with parted lips. "...What?" I held everything else I wanted to say back and turned to address a quiet Izanagi. "Um, I'm so sorry about this." He blinked and scratched his neck awkwardly before finally flashing an uncertain smile. "To be honest... I won't really be the one affected by it. If anything the two of you might get some hate... but it'll probably be fine... prob
Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts It's Over Now
I have no comments on the final performance other than this. It was a disaster, I also have no idea what Kurata-san was thinking. Maybe the sight of the cameras intimidated him, during the performance he even changed his playing, in the third verse of the song, it was as if he was trying to overshadow Tani-san. At the end of the song the air was odd, charged by that awkward display, that made everyone avoid looking at each other. The judges looked just as confused as I felt, as we all tried to process what just happened. Pansy-san, a hot-pink-haired female vocalist and guitarist from the band Tattletail was present. Back in her day of fame she was constantly compared to Lorraine-san as they both loved hot pink hair and were often confused to be the same due to their similar voice. She was the first to break the silence. "What just happened?" When no one could answer her she asked again. "What was that? Hello?... Why is no one saying anything?!" She leaned forward to glare but when
Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts By the Boot Straps
Reminders: (surname 1st, name last) Yoshida Hachiro- drums Kurata Sosuke- guitar Tani Rinko- electric violin Fukuda Kagami- currently plays the role of vocalist. Honorifics: san-Mr/ Miss kun- semi/formal title for guys of same age as speaker In the end, Hachiro-kun had no power to do anything. Or rather when he came back from allegedly doing it his face was awkward and twisted. I was waiting in the room with Fukuda-san and Sosuke-kun when he calmly asked. "So? How'd it go?" He didn't answer right away as he begrudgingly stood in a corner of the room with his hands on his hips. Finally, he huffed. "...Are you the project event organizer's son or something?" "No." "Don't lie." "Don't go making excuses. It's simple, I'm from an actual band that has already performed at actual locations with others meanwhile no one has ever heard of you. So if you walk up to them saying you can't work with me, they'll naturally think the problem is you and be less willing to listen to whateve
Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts Recollection of Bands
It's been a while! So I'm posting a recap in case everyone's forgotten the characters. Thank you for reading if you still are reading. Azure Phoenix (Aoi Phoenix): Aoi's sound was indie while Azure was more on the rock side- but also digestable. Izanagi- a quarter german. His german blue eyes and slightly forreign looking nose easily draws many girls to become interested in him. He bleached his hair in past but currently it's more of a fiery orange with red tips. His natural hair color is an ash brown. Used to play guitar but he now plays bass. One thing that hasn't changed is that he's still a vocalist. Utaka- half french pianist who has always been popular among ladies for his baby face. Is currently dating Momo, an idol from a popular girl group but he's thinking of quitting to attend college, and focus on his dream of becoming a piano teacher so her parents will be less intimidated by him. Gen- drummer, he used to have a mohawk but he shaved it. Got his girlfriend pregnant an
Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts Focusing on the wrong thing
Calm down me. You were once independent too! Hachiro raised a brow. "What? Is there a problem with independent artists?" "Huh? Ah, no. I was also one recently." "Then why'd you ask?" "I was curious as to why you guys weren't on the project event pages." "The what?" Rinko filled him in. "The Project event website. We won't be featured on the page since we're independent, no one will know anything about us since we're rookies." She was able to look at him without looking away when he met her gaze. "This event we'll be able to make a name for ourselves...we had to sign a consent form for camera footage..." Ah, that. I've seen cameras around but they only follow around popular bands. "So it's like that..." They could have made a page for them showing their audition performances at least, that's rather cold. "Yeah, it's like that," Hachiro added. A question sign hung over my head, the pointed way he stared at me ...this guy, he's really starting to rub me the wrong way! "Hmmm....
Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts Wet Bomb
Mrs. Fukuda called me over often. I'm not sure why, I used the opportunity to learn cooking from her. When Kagami came downstairs and saw me he'd freak out. I think, that's why every time something happened with him she'd use me. Surprisingly I was fine, since I didn't really have to say much. He got annoying though. Sometimes trying to check my Japanese and other times trying to get me to go up to his room to listen to his songs. He's an innocent guy, it's not like that. That's how I got by telling myself and was able to keep my sanity so far. ---- So listening to Azure Phoenix sing such a suggestive song made me tilt my head. (Your eyes seized my soul, beckoning me to you, had me down to please in ways I never had. Breaking all my rules, crossing boundaries like a fool. I'm in your waters and now, I'm at your mercy. Stabbed my heart with a hook, Didn't want to leave you even if I could. But the second you opened your mouth, the illusion ended. You became ugly. Sicken
Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts If I had to pick a day it'd be this one
I think the time our friendship really started was after I learned most of the language. We started talking in Japanese instead of English. On rainy days we'd have lessons in his room when his Mom wasn't home. Those days unnerved me the most for some reason. Being in the open vs a closed-off space, even if we were sitting in the normal spots something felt weird. The sound of his writing made me anxious. The hums he made when I made a mistake threw me off. The leaning over my shoulder even when I wasn't writing anything and thinking made me self-conscious, I was on my period so what if he could smell the blood?! Trying to inch away when he wasn't looking... His long stares to even his fidgeting and breathing made me want to hurl myself out the window and somersault over our fence to the house. I had to ask to use his bathroom as an excuse to get away and compose myself. A: (u - u) Bish stop acting so crazy. Seriously what was wrong with me? Damn period! When I returned he was
