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Will His Feelings Reach?
Last Updated:
2021-10-09 00:34:27Related chapters
Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts The New Challenger
I was surprised at how quickly promoters had reached out to us. According to Hanabusa we had already been booked for seven different venues, I should have expected this, this company is ran by Hiroto Kanzaki, his connections run deep. Still, I wasn't prepared. These past couple of days we've done nothing but practice and underground performances. I'd been wondering how to bring it up to Mom and Amara. Surprisingly both were unfazed and happy for me, it was kinda disappointing, I expected dramatic reactions. Mom was the most shocking. As soon as she heard the news, Mom started packing my bags and her own. She'd be visiting Dad in his apartment over the summer. I felt bad. Like I had been keeping her from meeting him. Should I have moved out for real so she could return to living with him? Why didn't she make the suggestion herself? Why does she have to make me feel like I need to abandon her for her to visit? That morning, I hooked arms with Amara on my walk to school for consola
Last Updated : 2021-10-09Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts A Brief Interview with Kagami Fukuda by Katsumi Arima
"Is that so? What are those reasons?" Fukuda-san sat back in his seat and folded his arms. He had lost his stand-offish aura before but a flicker of mischief was there as he sized me up. I don't think I did anything wrong just now... did I? I slightly felt nervous. He pointed at his ears. "Her earrings." "Huh?" "Before I knew it, looking across the room to see what earrings she wore today became something like checking the weather." I blinked. "A-ah..." So he was the same as me. From the moment she transferred in my attention always went to her ears. Her earrings weren't huge or anything, sometimes they repeated and sometimes they were so random... Amamiya-san seemed to like unusual earrings. Most girls liked beautiful earrings but she went for earrings modeled after objects. Before I knew it it became an unconscious habit to look at her earrings, and before I knew it the more I wanted to talk to her and ask about it. Watching her awakened something inside me. When I got r
Last Updated : 2021-10-09Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts Project Orfice
It was called Project Orfice. A group of bands from different agencies would be touring alongside each other. When we weren't touring we'd be living in the same building together, seems the higher-ups intended us to learn from one another and interact. And that would be fine and all... if those groups weren't delinquents. There were already four people there when we boarded it. The awkward atmosphere as we greeted them only to be met with silence and eyes that sized us up was suffocating. I flipped through the company profile sections the moment I sat down, to familiarize myself with the groups, most of these bands we're to travel with have been... well blacklisted. By blacklisted I mean they all have bad reputations. Similar to our group, these groups had one or more than one member that has either been sued, thrown into juvie, or a child that's been in and out of the foster care system. It reminded me of blacklist... he paired up his daughter with a group of problematic but ta
Last Updated : 2021-10-30Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts Roommate
He reminded me of my best friend Izanagi with his fiery blonde hair... a more aggressive version. The moment I returned to my room, he just stared at me as I dipped my head in greeting. I... had rearranged the rooms after I heard that I would be sharing. Taking the top bunk and making a desk space underneath it for my laptop, a smaller more private studio. The kid was on his side of the room but the intense stare made me on edge the moment I entered. "Ehm..." My mind was blank but I tried to fish out the memory I was looking for. "Hayate Tanjiro-san right? I'm Fukuda Kagami." He nodded. "I hope you don't mind me rearranging the room." He was looking elsewhere and resumed unpacking his things. "S'fine." I wanted to lay down some ground rules but didn't want to pressure him too much. Let's not get my ass kicked on the first meeting... "Ahem." I coughed upon going to my side. "I hope our time rooming together will be a peaceful one, in efforts as not to get on each other's nerv
Last Updated : 2021-10-31Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts Mange
Their band name was Mange. A rather disgusting name for a band, but their music had a similar feel. The sound was electrifying, the sensation was akin to repulsion but oddly in an awe-striking way. I was walking by one of the practice rooms when I witnessed their performance one day. Tanjiro on guitar, a pair of dirty blonde-haired twins one with beauty marks on opposite sides looking symmetrical with an unexpectedly focused Shirai going away at drums. Its heavy-hitting sound was different once heard live, I felt goosebumps on my skin, I could feel the sound reverberating throughout my body, I felt dirty like I might drown in a pit of mud. This...was their sound? Tanjiro and the weird Shirai... as well as everyone else in their band... how extremely talented. Before I knew it my feet were rooted to the spot and I felt a fear creeping up in my throat. Why can't I perform this well? I play it correctly, I support the band but I feel as if I'm barely there... like something's not
Last Updated : 2021-11-09Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts Something the others wouldn't know
"Something wrong with your playing?" Agawa echoed. I had mustered the courage to ask the group from myself that day after practice. Agawa just blinked at me after taking the time to stare. "Is there something wrong with your head?" Hagihara spoke up. "If I had to compare you to our past guitarist, he made tons of mistakes, however even if you do it's very few. If not none." This wasn't what I was hoping to hear though... Although making less mistakes is nice that's not the key point. "What's with you, all of a sudden?" Akemi raised a brow at me. "...Forget it." I held the back of my neck and just smiled. Agawa tilted his head as he studied me. "It doesn't matter what you think is wrong, keep playing like this until the tour is over. If you fuck up and change your sound out of the blue, I'll kick your ass got it?"
Last Updated : 2021-11-29Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts The Time is Now 2
To think they would keep it in the cafeteria... after lunch. I returned from our concert to replenish my fuel when I saw the group standing there and staring at passerbiers like abandoned puppies. Shirai-san's eyes lit up the second he saw me. "Fukuda-saaan!" I ate and watched them. "Why don't you try playing something?" "We did but no one paid much mind." (Akai) "Other bands are really disinterested in this huh?" (Hiro) As I sat there boredly watching their failed attempts an idea suddenly came up to mind. I got up and walked to the stage once I was done eating. Thankfully I was too tired to head back to my dorm and still had my guitar case with me. Tanjiro-san stepped away from the mike for me. "Hello, Empty audience and Cafeteria ladies," I greeted. "Today we'll be playing a game called...guess that beat!" "He totally just made that up just now didn't he?" I heard the others whispering. "The game is simple, if you know the song join in and play along once its your turn
Last Updated : 2021-11-29Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts Productive
No one else joined that day. But it didn't matter. I had made a friend. Though at times I felt guilty for withholding the truth, it was fun playing with mange. And by playing I mean singing, with the twins on bass, Tanjiro on guitar and Shirai on drums there wasn't much else I could do but sing along with Tanjiro. We continued to hold the same event for the rest of the week. Some days the crowd was less, other times there were a couple new faces but that was it. We became a community then, the crowd would sing with us. But then one day... "Kagami-kun?!" That day Akemi found me. We were in the middle of doing an impromptu song when I heard her voice below and looked down amidst the small crowd to see her walking in between the tables towards me her folded hands moving to her hips. She was a real sight today, gold hoops hung from her ears and she was wearing a shoulder sleeve cropped top and mini skirt, exposing her elegant collarbone and midriff. A couple of heads turned to st
Last Updated : 2021-12-02
Latest chapter
Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts Do you know you're Black?
That following evening the tension between Amara and Claire came to an all-time head."Don't you think you're being childish?!" I was eating out in the mini courtyard with Izanagi when we heard Claire raising her voice. It was unusual from her bubbly self so I naturally found myself getting up to crack the door open. "What?" "You didn't leave any dinner for me!" I couldn't see Amara but she sounded like she was in the living room."Ohhhh, so now you want to eat from me? Claire can't you see the childish one is you? I mean, why the hell should I make food for you just for you to throw it away, when this isn't a fucking hotel? Money doesn't grow on fucking trees, I know you might because of you're rich Daddy, but we don't do that here. If you want to eat something make it yourself."So she saw what she did this morning huh? I'm surprised she didn't say anything on the spot, she hated wasting food."I only threw it away because you kept being a bitch, like why would I want to eat tha
Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts The Comment Section
We were all gathered downstairs for breakfast when Claire hesitantly made her way down. I spotted her peeking behind the glass wall, from the barstool of the kitchen counter. "Oh, Claire." I've been here for three days, but this was the first time I've seen her.She hesitated at the sight of us."Good Morning." she tried. "Morning!" Izanagi beamed. As she shuffled past him to the fridge she paused. "Um...I'm-""You're good. We're good." She studied him a bit before becoming more Claire-like. There was some bubble in her step when she retrieved a pitcher of orange juice before making her way to the stove where Amara rolled an egg. For some reason, she thought it was a good idea to stick out her head in front of her over the frying pan. "Good Morning!~" Her rejuvenated mood and bubbly smile all seemed to bounce off Amara who shifted away from Claire entirely as she plated the dish. Claire stood there frozen for a second. Maybe Amara was trying to protect her from the oil, or mayb
Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts Disgrace
"You said you wouldn't post it." Claire sat down in her room and sheepishly smiled. "I didn't think it'd be that big of a deal if I posted it in on my other social media in China... I didn't think anyone would know him there." There's been many times in my life where I've been angry with Claire but this was the first time I've ever felt compelled to physically slap some sense into her head. The only thing stopping me was the presence of Izanagi. Still, I couldn't help clenching my fists and taking a breath. Instead, these words escaped me. "Why...why must you always be so selfish?!" She looked up to me in shock with parted lips. "...What?" I held everything else I wanted to say back and turned to address a quiet Izanagi. "Um, I'm so sorry about this." He blinked and scratched his neck awkwardly before finally flashing an uncertain smile. "To be honest... I won't really be the one affected by it. If anything the two of you might get some hate... but it'll probably be fine... prob
Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts It's Over Now
I have no comments on the final performance other than this. It was a disaster, I also have no idea what Kurata-san was thinking. Maybe the sight of the cameras intimidated him, during the performance he even changed his playing, in the third verse of the song, it was as if he was trying to overshadow Tani-san. At the end of the song the air was odd, charged by that awkward display, that made everyone avoid looking at each other. The judges looked just as confused as I felt, as we all tried to process what just happened. Pansy-san, a hot-pink-haired female vocalist and guitarist from the band Tattletail was present. Back in her day of fame she was constantly compared to Lorraine-san as they both loved hot pink hair and were often confused to be the same due to their similar voice. She was the first to break the silence. "What just happened?" When no one could answer her she asked again. "What was that? Hello?... Why is no one saying anything?!" She leaned forward to glare but when
Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts By the Boot Straps
Reminders: (surname 1st, name last) Yoshida Hachiro- drums Kurata Sosuke- guitar Tani Rinko- electric violin Fukuda Kagami- currently plays the role of vocalist. Honorifics: san-Mr/ Miss kun- semi/formal title for guys of same age as speaker In the end, Hachiro-kun had no power to do anything. Or rather when he came back from allegedly doing it his face was awkward and twisted. I was waiting in the room with Fukuda-san and Sosuke-kun when he calmly asked. "So? How'd it go?" He didn't answer right away as he begrudgingly stood in a corner of the room with his hands on his hips. Finally, he huffed. "...Are you the project event organizer's son or something?" "No." "Don't lie." "Don't go making excuses. It's simple, I'm from an actual band that has already performed at actual locations with others meanwhile no one has ever heard of you. So if you walk up to them saying you can't work with me, they'll naturally think the problem is you and be less willing to listen to whateve
Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts Recollection of Bands
It's been a while! So I'm posting a recap in case everyone's forgotten the characters. Thank you for reading if you still are reading. Azure Phoenix (Aoi Phoenix): Aoi's sound was indie while Azure was more on the rock side- but also digestable. Izanagi- a quarter german. His german blue eyes and slightly forreign looking nose easily draws many girls to become interested in him. He bleached his hair in past but currently it's more of a fiery orange with red tips. His natural hair color is an ash brown. Used to play guitar but he now plays bass. One thing that hasn't changed is that he's still a vocalist. Utaka- half french pianist who has always been popular among ladies for his baby face. Is currently dating Momo, an idol from a popular girl group but he's thinking of quitting to attend college, and focus on his dream of becoming a piano teacher so her parents will be less intimidated by him. Gen- drummer, he used to have a mohawk but he shaved it. Got his girlfriend pregnant an
Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts Focusing on the wrong thing
Calm down me. You were once independent too! Hachiro raised a brow. "What? Is there a problem with independent artists?" "Huh? Ah, no. I was also one recently." "Then why'd you ask?" "I was curious as to why you guys weren't on the project event pages." "The what?" Rinko filled him in. "The Project event website. We won't be featured on the page since we're independent, no one will know anything about us since we're rookies." She was able to look at him without looking away when he met her gaze. "This event we'll be able to make a name for ourselves...we had to sign a consent form for camera footage..." Ah, that. I've seen cameras around but they only follow around popular bands. "So it's like that..." They could have made a page for them showing their audition performances at least, that's rather cold. "Yeah, it's like that," Hachiro added. A question sign hung over my head, the pointed way he stared at me ...this guy, he's really starting to rub me the wrong way! "Hmmm....
Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts Wet Bomb
Mrs. Fukuda called me over often. I'm not sure why, I used the opportunity to learn cooking from her. When Kagami came downstairs and saw me he'd freak out. I think, that's why every time something happened with him she'd use me. Surprisingly I was fine, since I didn't really have to say much. He got annoying though. Sometimes trying to check my Japanese and other times trying to get me to go up to his room to listen to his songs. He's an innocent guy, it's not like that. That's how I got by telling myself and was able to keep my sanity so far. ---- So listening to Azure Phoenix sing such a suggestive song made me tilt my head. (Your eyes seized my soul, beckoning me to you, had me down to please in ways I never had. Breaking all my rules, crossing boundaries like a fool. I'm in your waters and now, I'm at your mercy. Stabbed my heart with a hook, Didn't want to leave you even if I could. But the second you opened your mouth, the illusion ended. You became ugly. Sicken
Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts If I had to pick a day it'd be this one
I think the time our friendship really started was after I learned most of the language. We started talking in Japanese instead of English. On rainy days we'd have lessons in his room when his Mom wasn't home. Those days unnerved me the most for some reason. Being in the open vs a closed-off space, even if we were sitting in the normal spots something felt weird. The sound of his writing made me anxious. The hums he made when I made a mistake threw me off. The leaning over my shoulder even when I wasn't writing anything and thinking made me self-conscious, I was on my period so what if he could smell the blood?! Trying to inch away when he wasn't looking... His long stares to even his fidgeting and breathing made me want to hurl myself out the window and somersault over our fence to the house. I had to ask to use his bathroom as an excuse to get away and compose myself. A: (u - u) Bish stop acting so crazy. Seriously what was wrong with me? Damn period! When I returned he was
