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Do you know you're Black?
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2024-04-24 12:54:04Related chapters
Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts My Japanese Diary
To keep this story short, my African American Mom married a rich Japanese man. "So? What do you think?" She stretched out her arms in front of our new house. This sort of perfectly fenced house with the family name mounted above the mailbox, I had seen these sort of middle-class homes a dozen times in anime. It was a surreal feeling. Something that belonged in a cartoon was right in front of me. "Are we... really living here?" Maybe it's because of the upscale wedding or the fact that her relationships never came this far but it felt as if I was dreaming. Instead of answering Mom lead the way into our completely empty house and introduced me to where my bedroom would be. It would seem... she already planned everything with Mr. Step-Father (or Step-Father-san, if you will, to be honest, I forgot his name already), the purpose for each and every room had already been decided. As I stood there, I could feel Mom watching me, waiting for a reaction. But I ignored her on purpose. I
Last Updated : 2021-07-19Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts A Chance of a Lifetime ft. Abduction of Kagami
The gym hall that graduation day was packed.The sound of our music flooded the room, and the hands of the crowd went up and swayed like stalks of grass from the wind.It was an unforgettable moment.That small feeling of power.The power to sway hearts with our music.But this newfound joy of mine didn't last long."KAGAMI!"My mom stormed in through the door, and the people parted to make way for her like the Red sea before Moses."WE'RE MOVING!"I froze as she made her way up the steps. Her expression was serious, angry.She rarely got angry at me but when she did..."W-wait...wait a minute, Mom..." My voice was shrinking. As the panic and confusion settled in of what I could have done wrong...She grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me off the stage, the shocked faces of my band members became smaller and smaller as we glided away, Mom's lower half became a tail.I reached out a hand to the guys who reached back.It was like a scene from Michaelangelo's Creation of Adam only Mom bec
Last Updated : 2021-07-19Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts What Will You Do For the Rest of Your Life If Not Music?
She ignored me on our walk home as well, even though I made sure to keep up with her.Her whole being radiated negative energy that threatened to suck me in and obliterate me if I so even uttered a word that entered her subspace.It wasn't a pleasant feeling.I had seen her argue with her Mother before and it was scary. She was often quiet so I used to think she was timid, but a stronger personality ended up emerging out of nowhere.Today she had also surprised me in a different way. I was under the impression she was a reserved person...I didn't want to lose her.When I finally mustered the courage to say something she had already made it to her porch steps and closed the door with a quiet click.It was equivalent to someone chucking a glass of water. I felt cold and humiliated.Did she think I was a loser? She didn't even say goodbye...I walked home and as soon as I did Mom's eyes were twinkling."Well? What song will you play for the audition?""Huh?"A question sign hung over her
Last Updated : 2021-07-19Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts The Day of Reckoning
The building was nicer looking than I anticipated. Most talent agencies let their exterior become a bit dusty and worn but this tall black building with purple-tinted windows was kept in good condition, which could only reflect on it's standards. As it towered over me. I froze up. A small hand was placed on my back, it radiated warmth as it nudged me forward. I turned around. "Aren't you going in?" Amara tilted her head at me. Today big golden checkmarks dangled from her ears. The shirt she was wearing today had the picture of an American actor, Shy Lebouff posing his signature pose. The three words were printed on it. "Just do it!" No caps today. "You were coming?" With folded arms, she nodded. "I'll be waiting for you, out here." "But, it's kinda hot out..." "I'm going to wait here." She repeated herself firmly. "O-okay." There was no use arguing with her when she was making such an adamant expression. Amara would be waiting out here for me. Oddly enough this newfound
Last Updated : 2021-07-27Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts You Fail
"Huh?"The other numbers that walked in seemed just as surprised as me.For a brief second, time stopped.Did I fail?But I just got here! I could see myself leaving the building here seeing Amara's disappointed expression.That day at school, her twinkling brown eyes that dimmed into a soulless void."You failed? Oh..."My very reality was on the verge of shattering into pieces.No. No. Amara wouldn't say that.*Even if by some chance those lovely people turn out to be dipshits and reject you Kagami, we can always turn to whotube!*But was that just her way of comforting me?"...have completely no sense of style for a rock artist. Your hairstyle and guitar are the only things that truly embody the spirit of rock. Let's hope your performance isn't as lacking." I heard only half of what she had said.My heart that had frozen and dropped slowly floated up to relief and irritation."Stop intimidating the contestant, Ms. Yumena." A bald man wearing shades spoke calmly, he looked familiar.
Last Updated : 2021-07-28Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts Treasures
It felt like I was dreaming.Today was the day, nothing could stop me not even mom who saw me off at the door."Are you wearing that?" I heard her say but it didn't register."Congratulations on making it in, Kagami-kun!"That Sunday on my way to the company, I ran into our neighbor, Mrs. Amamiya, Amara's mother. That snapped me out of it.She was a tall lady with a waist like a wasp, she had fat and curves in all the right places; her legs were thick but slender, whenever she wore a slit dress one couldn't help admiring them, her arms were slim, and her bust... whatever manner she styled her hair in it was always a burnt orange color that emphasized her honey brown eyes that were accentuated even further by her cat-like eyeliner.(A goddess... or a celebrity?)What usually happens when someone first meets her is they end up gawking, not listening to a thing she says, they'll just nod. I'd like to think I'm past that phase now. I smiled instead."Thank you!""Are you on your way there
Last Updated : 2021-07-29Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts Euterpe
A welcoming ceremony was held in the company's concert hall.New Trainees pooled inside. There was only a handful of us, which was surprising. I didn't think many would be given the golden pass, you know... From the way, it looks there are enough people to tell me five bands or more (+)were accepted.Eh? Where's Kenichi-san? Ehhh, did he not make it in? I wonder if he wasn't able to perform so well... We never found each other in the end after the audition, so maybe he didn't pass?However, once the lights dimmed and I fixed my attention on stage, I saw him there.As the drummer started off with the drum, eh?! Wait a second it's Satoshi-san!With Renjiro on bass, Kenichi on guitar, and a woman I didn't recognize was also playing the keyboard, she seemed young... was she an auditioner like Kenichi-san as well?Lorraine was standing in front of the mike.
Last Updated : 2021-07-30Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts Puppy Vision
He sat himself down at the counter before me and plopped down his head face first.I greeted him. "Hello to you too."A muffled "Hi" escaped him."How can I help you, sir?"He grunted."Then that'll be the bacon cheese fries, mango smoothie, and fish burger."He grunted. He rummaged through his jacket before fishing out his wallet and sliding it across the counter. I rang him up and let him be to prepare his smoothie and fries."The best pick me up is food." I placed his meal on a tray before him."Yes..."He seemed to have his headphones in. Seeing him hunched over the desk like that, I was tempted to stroke his head which at the moment seemed like a puppy.I didn't realize I was actually doing it, until his hand moved to reach for the smoothie and I retracted my hand quickly. It felt as if my hand was on fire.
Last Updated : 2021-07-30
Latest chapter
Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts Do you know you're Black?
That following evening the tension between Amara and Claire came to an all-time head."Don't you think you're being childish?!" I was eating out in the mini courtyard with Izanagi when we heard Claire raising her voice. It was unusual from her bubbly self so I naturally found myself getting up to crack the door open. "What?" "You didn't leave any dinner for me!" I couldn't see Amara but she sounded like she was in the living room."Ohhhh, so now you want to eat from me? Claire can't you see the childish one is you? I mean, why the hell should I make food for you just for you to throw it away, when this isn't a fucking hotel? Money doesn't grow on fucking trees, I know you might because of you're rich Daddy, but we don't do that here. If you want to eat something make it yourself."So she saw what she did this morning huh? I'm surprised she didn't say anything on the spot, she hated wasting food."I only threw it away because you kept being a bitch, like why would I want to eat tha
Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts The Comment Section
We were all gathered downstairs for breakfast when Claire hesitantly made her way down. I spotted her peeking behind the glass wall, from the barstool of the kitchen counter. "Oh, Claire." I've been here for three days, but this was the first time I've seen her.She hesitated at the sight of us."Good Morning." she tried. "Morning!" Izanagi beamed. As she shuffled past him to the fridge she paused. "Um...I'm-""You're good. We're good." She studied him a bit before becoming more Claire-like. There was some bubble in her step when she retrieved a pitcher of orange juice before making her way to the stove where Amara rolled an egg. For some reason, she thought it was a good idea to stick out her head in front of her over the frying pan. "Good Morning!~" Her rejuvenated mood and bubbly smile all seemed to bounce off Amara who shifted away from Claire entirely as she plated the dish. Claire stood there frozen for a second. Maybe Amara was trying to protect her from the oil, or mayb
Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts Disgrace
"You said you wouldn't post it." Claire sat down in her room and sheepishly smiled. "I didn't think it'd be that big of a deal if I posted it in on my other social media in China... I didn't think anyone would know him there." There's been many times in my life where I've been angry with Claire but this was the first time I've ever felt compelled to physically slap some sense into her head. The only thing stopping me was the presence of Izanagi. Still, I couldn't help clenching my fists and taking a breath. Instead, these words escaped me. "Why...why must you always be so selfish?!" She looked up to me in shock with parted lips. "...What?" I held everything else I wanted to say back and turned to address a quiet Izanagi. "Um, I'm so sorry about this." He blinked and scratched his neck awkwardly before finally flashing an uncertain smile. "To be honest... I won't really be the one affected by it. If anything the two of you might get some hate... but it'll probably be fine... prob
Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts It's Over Now
I have no comments on the final performance other than this. It was a disaster, I also have no idea what Kurata-san was thinking. Maybe the sight of the cameras intimidated him, during the performance he even changed his playing, in the third verse of the song, it was as if he was trying to overshadow Tani-san. At the end of the song the air was odd, charged by that awkward display, that made everyone avoid looking at each other. The judges looked just as confused as I felt, as we all tried to process what just happened. Pansy-san, a hot-pink-haired female vocalist and guitarist from the band Tattletail was present. Back in her day of fame she was constantly compared to Lorraine-san as they both loved hot pink hair and were often confused to be the same due to their similar voice. She was the first to break the silence. "What just happened?" When no one could answer her she asked again. "What was that? Hello?... Why is no one saying anything?!" She leaned forward to glare but when
Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts By the Boot Straps
Reminders: (surname 1st, name last) Yoshida Hachiro- drums Kurata Sosuke- guitar Tani Rinko- electric violin Fukuda Kagami- currently plays the role of vocalist. Honorifics: san-Mr/ Miss kun- semi/formal title for guys of same age as speaker In the end, Hachiro-kun had no power to do anything. Or rather when he came back from allegedly doing it his face was awkward and twisted. I was waiting in the room with Fukuda-san and Sosuke-kun when he calmly asked. "So? How'd it go?" He didn't answer right away as he begrudgingly stood in a corner of the room with his hands on his hips. Finally, he huffed. "...Are you the project event organizer's son or something?" "No." "Don't lie." "Don't go making excuses. It's simple, I'm from an actual band that has already performed at actual locations with others meanwhile no one has ever heard of you. So if you walk up to them saying you can't work with me, they'll naturally think the problem is you and be less willing to listen to whateve
Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts Recollection of Bands
It's been a while! So I'm posting a recap in case everyone's forgotten the characters. Thank you for reading if you still are reading. Azure Phoenix (Aoi Phoenix): Aoi's sound was indie while Azure was more on the rock side- but also digestable. Izanagi- a quarter german. His german blue eyes and slightly forreign looking nose easily draws many girls to become interested in him. He bleached his hair in past but currently it's more of a fiery orange with red tips. His natural hair color is an ash brown. Used to play guitar but he now plays bass. One thing that hasn't changed is that he's still a vocalist. Utaka- half french pianist who has always been popular among ladies for his baby face. Is currently dating Momo, an idol from a popular girl group but he's thinking of quitting to attend college, and focus on his dream of becoming a piano teacher so her parents will be less intimidated by him. Gen- drummer, he used to have a mohawk but he shaved it. Got his girlfriend pregnant an
Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts Focusing on the wrong thing
Calm down me. You were once independent too! Hachiro raised a brow. "What? Is there a problem with independent artists?" "Huh? Ah, no. I was also one recently." "Then why'd you ask?" "I was curious as to why you guys weren't on the project event pages." "The what?" Rinko filled him in. "The Project event website. We won't be featured on the page since we're independent, no one will know anything about us since we're rookies." She was able to look at him without looking away when he met her gaze. "This event we'll be able to make a name for ourselves...we had to sign a consent form for camera footage..." Ah, that. I've seen cameras around but they only follow around popular bands. "So it's like that..." They could have made a page for them showing their audition performances at least, that's rather cold. "Yeah, it's like that," Hachiro added. A question sign hung over my head, the pointed way he stared at me ...this guy, he's really starting to rub me the wrong way! "Hmmm....
Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts Wet Bomb
Mrs. Fukuda called me over often. I'm not sure why, I used the opportunity to learn cooking from her. When Kagami came downstairs and saw me he'd freak out. I think, that's why every time something happened with him she'd use me. Surprisingly I was fine, since I didn't really have to say much. He got annoying though. Sometimes trying to check my Japanese and other times trying to get me to go up to his room to listen to his songs. He's an innocent guy, it's not like that. That's how I got by telling myself and was able to keep my sanity so far. ---- So listening to Azure Phoenix sing such a suggestive song made me tilt my head. (Your eyes seized my soul, beckoning me to you, had me down to please in ways I never had. Breaking all my rules, crossing boundaries like a fool. I'm in your waters and now, I'm at your mercy. Stabbed my heart with a hook, Didn't want to leave you even if I could. But the second you opened your mouth, the illusion ended. You became ugly. Sicken
Amara's Diary: When Nothing Free Ever Lasts If I had to pick a day it'd be this one
I think the time our friendship really started was after I learned most of the language. We started talking in Japanese instead of English. On rainy days we'd have lessons in his room when his Mom wasn't home. Those days unnerved me the most for some reason. Being in the open vs a closed-off space, even if we were sitting in the normal spots something felt weird. The sound of his writing made me anxious. The hums he made when I made a mistake threw me off. The leaning over my shoulder even when I wasn't writing anything and thinking made me self-conscious, I was on my period so what if he could smell the blood?! Trying to inch away when he wasn't looking... His long stares to even his fidgeting and breathing made me want to hurl myself out the window and somersault over our fence to the house. I had to ask to use his bathroom as an excuse to get away and compose myself. A: (u - u) Bish stop acting so crazy. Seriously what was wrong with me? Damn period! When I returned he was
