5- The Alpha

Meg

Holy Christ. Jax sure knew how to spoil food. I’ve never tasted something so horrible- bleh. I’ve never had acid burn this bad either.

My face turned up a few seconds after the first bite from the beef sandwich but not wanting to hurt his feelings, I hid the expression on my facial features as best as I could have, throwing away the darn thing after feigning I had a phone call to make.

Then I hightailed home after using a weak Red to tell him, I was gone. I should take his phone number next time so I don’t exhaust an already drained Red, who signed out for the rest of the day already. After a few hours of rest, she will come back out, refreshed.

Quickly I helped myself to some fries I made from the frozen sliced potatoes which we had in our freezer, sighing in sweet relief that the horrible sandwich had not turned my tastebuds away from food.

My stomach still makes weird noises after the meal even when I down a glass of cold milk, which I despised with a passion, but I gulped it anyway because I heard milk is good for babies. The ungrateful whelp.

My eyes widen with a sudden thought- maybe it wants more?

Wanting to be a good mother, I emptied another glass into my stomach, gaining a stern look from Lu, who is the one who secures our food intake and also cooks for the alpha. She sucks in a loud sharp breath to show her disapproval, and I swallow the last mouthful slowly, almost guiltily. While we do not starve, we are also on an almost meagre diet, or we will starve, so I understand her.

“Sorry, I skipped breakfast,” I offer her by way of an explanation just as Jeb walks in. The older greying man ignores us and silently goes to the fridge where he begins to prep dinner for us. Eleven of us live here and we each take turns in cooking, preferring to stick with a strict schedule on each day. Breakfast and dinner alone because most times we eat, if there is remaining food, from the pack house. 

If not, we don’t mind not eating at all. It's just one meal.

By six in the evening, all have returned home, with the exception of two, Star and Huge but this is pretty normal. They would sometimes stay back to assist with any meal preparations that might be necessary until 9 pm while Lu, the main house cook, was allowed to leave.

My anxiety is killing me everything my mind runs on the alpha.

Deciding to wait for the others to return as well, to make it easier to sneak out- I have no idea what crazy thought had me thinking that approaching the alpha in the middle of the day was a good idea...I must have been crazy. 

Playing it extra safe, I remain in my room pacing silently, until I hear voices in the hallway indicating the others are home then I wait some more minutes to ensure all is tranquil, before I sneak out. 

Once again, I make my way to the pack house, through the dirt track just as I had taken earlier when I came across Jax. My stomach burning with frisson by the time I was near enough to make out the voices of the alpha and beta in a playful banter. I stop some metres from the clearing, still hidden by the shadows of the trees, so I won’t be seen. 

They won’t smell me. Members of the pack often scolded me because of it and accused me of sneaking up on them sometimes. I used to think I was scentless until the alpha told me he loved how I smelled.

It’s a moonless night- thank goodness.

Soren hits the older-than-him- beta, with the back of his palm against his bicep and Will, jokingly punches back.

Two others emerge from the back and my stomach cringes- pulsing even because I am aware of where they are returning from. Shaking my head to get the mental image off from the one time I was ordered to clean the cages. I cover my mouth with my hand when I get the urge to throw up when I get a whiff of metal- thanks to my wolf senses, and knowing what it really was.

Red has me feeling what she does- troubled. Frowning I chase her away because I do not need her cowering behaviour right now. I need strength.

The alpha senses my presence, I perceive, because he furrows his forehead- gosh, I wish he wouldn’t because it’s what made me drop my defences and allow him to have his way with me. Sighing, I allow my truth to come to light- I had quite possibly fallen in love with him that night. 

The first night. Or perhaps before when I used to admire him.

My stomach is somewhat settled now, I remove my hand, leaning against a tree now because my knees are growing weak from the tension. Nervous is putting it lightly how I feel.

Waiting ten minutes more in the shadows, after the men left, splitting up to head to their respective homes, I head to the packhouse somehow convincing myself that Soren would be waiting for me just inside the door.

He wasn’t.

The door is open- never locked, but it’s almost eerie quiet when I enter. “Soren?” I whisper in the darkness, my nose picking up a hint of his lingering scent, waiting for him to hug me or kiss my neck...something. I recognise it’s silly but the words he said to me that night have wormed their way inside my head and refuse to leave since.

Maybe he went to clean himself up, I tell myself and waited a few minutes more, taking a seat on the chair he tiny sofa-bench he had in the hallway where he sat to remove his footwear sometimes.

My wolf, awake now, covers her eyes, reverting to the back of my mind when I start to reminisce on what I now call ‘our passionate lovemaking’.

“I want you, Meg.”

I feel his lips on mine... “I need you so much.”

The way his rough hands felt on my soft flesh... “You’re mine.”

His voice echoes through my memory of our one passion-filled night, just as it has haunted me since then. “Moon mates, chosen by the Goddess herself...”

I close my eyes as I remember his masculine scent- cashmere... “Call me Soren...”  His flaming hands that left a trail of fire.

A broad smile spreads across my face, my heart full of purpose, giddy even when I think of breaking the news to him of our baby. The scent of him clouded my mind- so intoxicating.

Familiar with the house because I have cleaned every inch of it, including the massive chandeliers, I head upstairs to his room bypassing everything skilfully that would have stood in a stranger’s path. 

Red, is giving me a hesitant signal. She tries to get me to go back home but I ignore her whining as it annoys me. <We do not want to be here, Meg>

Silence is all around excluding the sounds of my almost soundless shoes on the wide staircase and the grandfather clock that stands in the red-carpeted hallway. My wolf attempts to pull me back.

Hearing his voice, in what sounds like a moan has me recalling it vividly, but I do not make the connection to it yet and I push ahead, against my weak wolf, determined to get to him.

<Meg...I’m ...> Red goes silent, and I feel her anguish.

Sex is in the air and my wolf is pained but all I can think of is how we smelled during and after. The alpha’s-er- spills. Instead, my mind clouds more with the same ambiguity it had been under when I had been in his bed.

Red tries to back away but I push her aside and she releases a piercing whining howl that jolted me a bit but it is overpowered by my want of the alpha.

My chest responds as well as my core. My breathing picks up a pace too by the time I open his door and that’s when the familiarity of his moans, and the high smells hit me. My wolf cries out again inside my head, our chest now fulling with an excruciating burning sensation.

My tapetum lucidum eyes see them clearly, in the darkened room.

The Alpha of Mount White Stone Pack is kissing someone on his bed, naked, but the person does not see me, for she’s on her back, under him, the top of her head in my direction and my stomach drops to the floor.

The woman’s legs hike up and she trusts her waist upwards. “Oh, Soren - hmm, now,” the woman says. Even in her throaty gasping, I know her voice.

It’s Beta Will’s daughter. Beth.