Chapter 3 – Familiar Present

LAMIA

We were familiar strangers. The presence of each other seemed foreign. As Lamia, my wolf felt the pull of bonds.

The spirit animal easily lets a shifter know there is a connection between two people.

I felt that connection and familiarity with Mathias, even without a spirit animal, but it was new and somewhat different. I was different. I wasn’t just Lamia; I was also Inanna. I held her memories and mine too.

Her story was clear in my mind, as was my own. It was days like today that I struggled with my identity. Remembering her past and my present.

In the other place, I had nothing but time and thought about my life’s journey thus far.

I saw the bigger picture so much clearer.

Two sets of memories held place in my thoughts. Inanna’s memories played like an old movie in my mind. Flashbacks of another life popped up behind my eyes when something in the present disturbed those once-forgotten thoughts that suddenly came to life like a reminder. I knew it was hers. Mine.

As Inanna, the bond between Mathias and I was heightened, obvious in a way I couldn’t comprehend. I felt closer to his beast Arcas, rather than the man Mathias. Yet we couldn’t be further apart in regard to connecting.

I could see Mathias’s desire in his eyes, the look of thirst to be connected with me on a spiritual level.

Arcas was my Atman, my eternal. As a shifter, Mathias was my mate. The two were not the same. Not even close. I once thought they had the same meaning, the other half of my soul. But Arcas was my soul.

The gods are built in pairs; in my past life, Arcas and Inanna never crossed paths. In our current life, Mathias and I may never have met if Zane hadn’t died, or if Conri and I had been mated again.

Ashe knew though, she had said I was fated to another. Did she know Inanna and Arcas were built to be a pair? These were the things that were at the forefront of my mind since I had returned.

Mathias emerges from the bathroom, a towel slung low on his hips. He looked bigger than I remember. I swallow harshly my eyes roaming his sculpted body. He stops to peer into Seneca’s crib. She’s awake but lying quietly, just like we would if we were in our shack. Waiting and listening for the monsters that lurked outside.

I watch my Atman smile upon our daughter, but he doesn’t attempt to pick her up and hold her, he stares at her with wonder and amazement.

“I’ll go down and bring food back to the room for the two of you,” He quietly says, drawing his eyes from Seneca. “We should talk about going home. The triplets and your parents are excited about your return.”

Mathias crosses the room coming to stand in front of me. His silver eyes gaze down upon me, my breath hitches when he leans in closer, and I hold it in anticipation. My eyes close as I feel his warm breath fan across my waiting lips.

The kiss comes. Gentle yet precise. It’s a chaste kiss, disappointing me when he draws away. My eyes open only to see a forlorn look in his silver orbs, his hand dropping to his side.

He wanted to touch me, but for whatever reason he decided against the action. I could tell he wanted to, but his large frame backed away, turning his back on me to slip on a pair of pants and a shirt.

I wanted it too. I craved his touch. The memory of the touch of his lips on mine was a distant feeling. One I wanted to explore once more but didn’t know how to get there. I was timid, almost scared of losing myself to him when there was so much to do.

Our daughter's future needed to be secured. I would prioritize her over all others. Including this realm, and the people I was meant to reign over.

My head was a mess trying to decipher one memory from another. Yet the path that needed to be taken was wide open and clear. As Inanna and Conri we had walked this path many moons before.

This time was different. I had Arcas. We wouldn’t fail.

“I'm not ready to see them yet.” I gently whisper, watching Mathias dress.

I wanted nothing more than to see my babies. To hold them in my arms and shower kisses upon them. I had missed them so much. And they had a little sister to meet.

The truth is, it’s not that I'm not ready, more like it wouldn’t be fair to them. Me, showing up and then leaving to face a god that was hellbent on dragging me to the underworld because of a stupid pact Inanna’s father made thousands of years ago. And over my dead body would Aodh take Seneca as consolation to me.

Seneca was so much more than the immortal she was meant to be. Even Kellen and I didn’t know the extent of what she was or would become. But we knew she was special beyond what she is prophesied to be.

“What do you mean you aren’t ready?” Mathias pauses, half his blue pinstriped shirt done up, his monstrous hands hovering over the buttons as he looks at me with confusion and hurt. “You don’t want to see our children?” 

Dropping his hands and taking steps until he stands in front of me once again, I look up to see Arcas on the surface. Mathias's eyes swirl with silver specs as Arcas, his beast, scrutinizes me.

“I will not give them false hope of their mother returning when we have work to do. I want to know what’s happened since I’ve been gone. I search his eyes and watch as they quickly grow dull and forlorn. Any spark of happiness suddenly fades and is instead replaced with steely eyes that take on a daunting look, his face becoming bland and stone.

“I wouldn’t know where to begin Lamia,” Mathias says, turning his head to glance out of the window. “So much has happened and none of it good except bringing you home.” He sighs and drops his head, fastening the remaining buttons on his shirt and tucking it into his pants.

I get the feeling there’s something he doesn't want to tell me. Whether it’s to protect me or himself, I’m not sure.

I let it go and say nothing because I know who will.

Once Mathias leaves, I open up a connection to Kellen and demand his company. Then I open one up to Mike and ask him to come to my chambers as well. Almost six years ago this began with the three of us. It would most likely end with the three of us.

*****

Kellen comes walking through the door, Naked as the day he was born and droplets of water rolling off his hardened body. His eyes immediately searched for Seneca. The stiffness and alertness of his demeanor ease once he has her in his sights.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, picking up our child and holding her close as if he hadn’t seen her in a long time. He plants kisses on her temple, sweeping away her blond locks. “I’ve missed you.” He gently says.

“I missed you too Papa Kel.” My daughter smiles up at the only male figure she has known. Her small hands clumsily fumble over his face, and her little lips stretch into a wide smile as she gazes up at him.

“My Queen,” Mike comes in, closing the door behind him, and looks at Kellen, his face scrunching up as he takes in his naked form, “My King, did you forget how to dress?”

Kellen turns and frowns at our friend, not understanding and for the first time since being back, I crack a smile. “Our clothes didn’t withstand the years we were away. It was just us,” I shrug, “There was no need to cover ourselves all the time.”

“Yeah well, even though we are shifters, I don’t think it’s a good idea for the King of werewolves to prance around showing off his shlong for all to see.” Mike chuckles, his face lighting up and mischievousness filling his hazel eyes. “Unless I interrupted something between you two?” He holds his hands up in defense, that twinkle in his eyes brightening for just a moment.

Kellen lets out a growl that holds a warning, “Do not deem to suspect what you don’t know.” He says dressing down Mike. I could tell he was more Conri than Kellen in this moment.

“Kel, put Seneca down please,” I command gently.

Kellen puts Seni back in the crib and I watch as his face subtly changes, the old Kellen now surfacing.

“It’s hard.” Kellen looks at me for understanding and I nod.

I understand what he means. “I know, it’s messing with me too but it’s becoming easier to decipher what was theirs and which are our memories.

“I have no idea what's going on with the both of you, mentally or physically,” Mike looks between the both of us, “But I’m guessing I'm here to fill you in?”

I shuffle, turning my back on the guys, “Partly yes. Mathias hasn’t told me much.” I feel myself frowning at the thought of Mathias hiding something from me. “We haven’t re-bonded yet, we feel distance but at the same time, I have never felt this close to someone as I do him. There’s just a barrier between us that neither of us knows how to break down.”

“If I’m out of line saying this, I’m sorry, but you have only been back three days. These things take time.” Mike says with the wisdom of an elder.

I finally turned to take in my old friend. Smiling, I remember the simpler times in life, like when I had a crush on him and wished for him to be my mate. My nose scrunches when I think about how everything took a drastic turn that year.

“Tell us, Mike,” Kellen says clapping him on the shoulder, “What have we missed? I expected to see Jonda with Rhett, or Rogue with Tala…”

Kellen’s words trail off when Mike's face pales.

“Mike,” I say drawing out his name, almost demanding he speak up.

“Moons, I forgot how much you have missed.” He sighs and then points to Kellen, “Put some damn shorts on, I can't concentrate with that boner sticking up at my face. You need to calm your little buddy down.”

My eyes rake over Kellen until they land on the hunk of meat between his legs that was definitely standing to attention. “You picked up Seni while sporting that?” I point at his hardened cock.

Kellen groans, “Tala and I haven’t mated either. Yet.”

With a shit ton of confusion, Mike says “Why?” His eyes bounce between us. “Why haven’t either of you mated and reformed your bond?” Finally, he looks at Seneca, “She isn’t yours Kellen, unless I’m mistaken?”

“No not biologically,” Kellen replies, digging out a pair of Mathias’s shorts from the dresser.

“But you guys have…?” He makes a sexual gesture with his hands.

“No!” Both Kellen and I exclaim.

“We didn’t.” I tell Mike pointedly, “Not in three thousand years.”

I would have liked to have taken a picture of Mike at that moment and framed it. The look of shock and disbelief on his face was almost comical. “Three thousand years?” He repeats.

“Time moved differently there,” Kellen explains. “What three years here was, was an eternity for us.”

“Three thousand years and you guys didn’t… you know… fuck?” Mike whispers the last part.

Kellen and I shake our heads. We couldn’t explain it. It’s not that we didn’t think of it or decide if we were to be stuck there forever, we would try to become a family. We stole kisses here and there, needing that connection but nothing sexual, we were still in love with our mates and once Seneca was born and we had both merged with our spirit animals fully, we knew it wasn’t meant to be.

We had hope of returning home, greeting our mates, and falling into their arms once more.

Mike takes a seat, flopping onto the couch next to Seneca’s crib. He takes a moment to smile and say hi to her. To my surprise, she smiles back and reaches out “You are nice looking.” She says with fact to Mike,

“Sometimes,” He replies to my child, the smile on his face dropping, and sweeps a hand over his thigh. A deep V forms between his eyes as he takes on a serious expression. “Jonda died.” He deadpans.

I see the shock in Kellen’s eyes and feel a shiver run through my body. I recall the female I met in the hall the night before who sat with little Zane. She smelled of Rhett.

“How?” Kellen asks demandingly.

“The night we defeated Senko and Aodh crossed over, she threw herself from the peak of New Moon's west tower. Her mind never healed, whatever Senko did to her was permanent.” Guilt and shame flash across Mike’s face before he schools his features. “When you guys got sucked into the chasm, more monsters crossed over. Aodh disappeared and within months he began his assault on the second continent. He’s been playing, toying with us all.”

Mike begins to explain how for the past three years, the realm had been fighting against the underworld god’s army and losing. Aodh had already decimated the northern kingdoms of the second continent, his latest conquest had been Andora, and his army was moving east at a leisurely pace.

He filled us in on Zane, Rhett, and his new mate Leneve. Explaining how he and Tyron had held down the fort in New Moon since Kellen’s absence, once more acting as New Moon King.

Kellen insisted on knowing where Rogue was, and it was difficult for Mike to explain that he was currently in Bhakhil with Tobias leading a front against Aodh's dark army that drew closer with each day.

“We have sent countless soldiers and warriors from all kingdoms to face him and lost more than I would like to admit. The monsters began picking off our food source, the nightmare horses killing livestock and attacking cities. The hell hounds killing the wilds. The prey birds killed our crops and destroyed our oil refineries. We were in a state of decline when Mathias and Finn faced Aodh. They were lucky he left them alive.”

The sound of plates and glasses crashing to the floor rang out just as the revelation of my Atman almost dying at the hands of Aodh was delivered.

I turn to Mathias who stands in the doorway, his face pale but full of anger. “You fought Aodh?” I question him, now moving from the window. “He is a God! Mathias, what made you think you could take him on at your weakest?” I shake my head at his stupidity.

Memories of Conri fighting Aodh centuries ago surfaced, and along with those memories came the vision of Conri’s death. My heart contracted with the visual playing in my head, I couldn’t go through that with Mathias. It would destroy me.

When Conri died, I was powerless to help him, I had already been stripped of my immortality. If it hadn’t been for Conri’s most trusted friend, Aodh would have dragged me back to hell with him.

Like it was my own, Inanna’s memories flood my mind making me recall the gut-wrenching heartache I had suffered, or she had suffered then. In our past life, I was able to move on with the help of Fortuna and Moon Goddess who gave us both new life.

With Mathias, the thought of losing him was inconceivable.

“Shit,” I hear Mike grumble. My eyes meet his apologetic ones.

“Out,” I tell Kellen and Mike. “And take Seneca with you.” I aim at Kellen who takes his girl in his arms and happily carries her off with Mike leading the way.