I cut into the meat that was simmering on the stove and nodded approvingly. It was just the perfect amount of pink. I turned the stove off and transferred a portion to a plate, scooping out some rosemary-roasted potatoes and steamed vegetables onto the side. Then, I headed into the living room and watched the news as I savored the delicious meal.
Afterward, comfortably full, I headed back into the kitchen to put away the leftovers and clean the dishes, still listening with half an ear to the news in the other room. It was my nightly ritual, polished down to an art. There was no better way to relax at the end of a long day of work than to come home and cook a good, satisfying meal and get caught up on what was going on with the world beyond this small town in North Carolina.
Like most of the other people my age around here, I had once thought only about how I was going to get the hell out of here. But shit changes. I had responsibilities here, and even though I liked to keep up with what was going on around the world, I’d probably live here for the rest of my life.
Someone knocked on the front door, and I glanced at the clock as I wiped my hands off on my apron. I rolled my eyes and went to answer it. “How many times do I have to tell you to quit knocking and just walk in?” I asked Joe with a grin. He was my best friend, after all; no reason for him to stand on propriety.
Joe smiled as usual and shrugged. “Sorry, you know I’m still scarred by that time I walked in and your mom was in here with curlers in her hair, singing opera while she cleaned. That lady sure was a character.”
I snorted as I led him out to the back porch, detouring to shut off the TV as I went. Joe made a face when he saw that I was watching the news, but he didn’t say anything. I knew he thought I was a nerd. I didn’t give a shit.
Truth was, Joe was pretty damn smart himself. It was why I liked having him as a friend and as the assistant manager of my shop. He was one of the only kids from our class who was still hanging around town without starting all the bullshit of a family and whatever. He still came over every Friday night to knock back a few drinks with me. We were well past the stage of playing beer pong and passing out on kitchen floors, but some things would never change.
Whenever I got into a funk about the fact that I was still here in Aberdeen, I thought about that. Hanging out with Joe and my other friends around town was right up there on the list of things that I would miss if I left. We had grown up together, and those guys knew me better than anyone else ever could. I would have been far lonelier if I had moved off to some big and heartless city, I was sure.
It was a warm evening, and I gladly accepted the beer that Joe handed me. He set the cooler down between the two Adirondacks and grabbed a beer for himself as well. “Shop’s been doing good, eh?” he asked.
I shrugged. “Same as usual,” I said, taking a sip of my beer. “Gearing up for a busy summer. Memorial Day weekend’s coming right up, and you know that means people are thinking about decks and picnic tables and whatever else.”
“How’s the new kid doing?” Joe asked, squinting over at me. “Is he actually going to be any help to us?”
“Yep,” I said, nodding. “Chance has got his third shift tomorrow morning.” I grinned. “It’s been pretty amusing training him. He’s a bit of a lost cause.”
Joe chuckled. “Somebody in this town had to take pity on his ass and hire him,” he joked.
“Misfits got to stick together,” I retorted, shrugging, and Joe laughed.
“Yeah, but we all knew you were a hard worker,” he reminded me. “A weirdo but a hard worker. There’s a difference. It’s a wonder he hasn’t managed to hammer his head to the table yet.”
“Guess so,” I said. “But either way, everyone’s got to have a job.”
We chatted for a little while until Joe caught me yawning for the third time. He laughed and glanced at his watch. “Guess I should let you get to sleep, huh?” he asked. “Old man.”
I snorted. “You’re not the one who needs to get up at five every morning to get the shop open.”
“You wouldn’t have to get up so early if you’d sell off this place and move closer to town,” Joe reminded me.
I shrugged. We’d talked about it again and again over the years. There was a certain amount of inconvenience with living way the hell out here, but at the same time, I liked the quiet. Besides, there were memories here. My parents had been the ones whose neighbors lived farthest away, so half the parties that we’d had when we were younger, and all the ones that we’d had since my parents had passed, had been held here.
My old comfortable couch was where Jessica had first kissed Bobby. The end table beside it was permanently stained from the time someone gave Mike a handful of permanent markers mid-party while he was stoned out of his mind. The stain on the floor over there was from when Greg decked Joe because he thought Joe was trying to sleep with his kid sister.
There were memories here that I never wanted to leave behind.
“I’m here for good, and you know that,” I told Joe. “Now get out of here so I can go to bed.”
“What, not going to offer me the couch tonight?” Joe asked, mock-offended. “Where’s that southern hospitality when you need it?”
I laughed. “Trust me, as soon as I trust the kid to open up on his own, we can have a rollicking blowout of a night and pass out wherever the fuck you’d like. But he’s not trained to that point just yet, and I don’t want to scare the poor guy.”
Joe shook his head. “If we’ve got to wait until you trust him to open up shop on his own, we’re going to be waiting until hell freezes over,” he lamented.
“Hey, it snowed here in Aberdeen last winter,” I reminded him. “That’s pretty damned close to hell freezing over. Could happen again.”
Joe grinned and pointed a finger at me. “I’m not waiting until next winter for that blowout,” he warned me.
I rolled my eyes. “All right. But it’s not happening tonight.”
The truth was, though, that when the door closed behind him, before I started a podcast on my phone, it was so damned quiet living out here in the middle of nowhere. Once, that had comforted me, but now, the silence just seemed to ring in my ears.
“Maybe I’ll get a dog,” I said, heading upstairs to bed and setting my phone down on the nightstand.
Yeah, getting a dog might be nice, but at least living here in Aberdeen wasn’t half as lonely as living anywhere else would have been.
AudreyI got out of my ride and grabbed my bags. For a moment, I just stood there in the driveway, staring up at the family home there in Aberdeen. Oh Lord.Place hadn’t changed since I had left. Not one bit.I looked around, up and down the street. A couple of younger kids were out playing in the cul-de-sac, just like we used to when we were kids. The Leroy house was painted blue now instead of gray, but even that blue paint looked faded and worn now.I looked back at our house. What the hell was I doing here again? For the first time, I started to think about where I would even fit into this life. This was a tiny, two-bedroom house. Back when Annabelle and I were kids, sharing a room had been fine, but what about now? The whole unit wasn’t very big. There would be no getting away from Mom or her boyfriend. We’d constantly be bumping into one another.Not for the last time, I was sure, I found myself feeling homesick for the Academy’s dorms. It was just housing for us dancers, but I’
AudreyI shook my head. “No,” I said. “I love Paris. I don’t want to leave any time soon.” I paused, thinking back over my time there. “The Global Traveling Dance Academy of Performing Arts is so amazing, Annabelle. They’ve helped me so much with my dancing, and—what?”Annabelle was cracking up, and I tried to think about what I’d said. “The Global Academy of Traveling Pants, or whatever it is,” she said, giggling. “Do they make you say that every time you talk about them?”I bristled, unable to help it. “The Global Traveling Dance Academy of Performing Arts,” I corrected. She giggled some more. “It’s one of the most prestigious dance academies in the world.”“Sure,” Annabelle said. “Well, we watched that DVD performance that you sent Mom. Hate to say it, but it all just looks like ballet to me. I mean, really good ballet. But just ballet.”I shrugged, looking down at my hands. I didn’t know what to say to that. I knew that no one here in Aberdeen would ever understand anything about
JesseI was expecting Dan to show up on Saturday morning, which was part of why I hadn’t wanted to draw things out with Joe the night before. Dan owned a restoration company in town, and he always came to me for lumber, tools, and other odds and ends for his crew. He was a big money-maker for the store, one of our best companies. I didn’t trust anyone else to handle business with him.That was partly because Dan was one of the most demanding customers that we had as well. I watched him run his hand down a piece of lumber. He looked up at me with knitted eyebrows. “This the best oak that you’ve got?” he asked. “We’re refinishing countertops and trim in some of those old cabins out by the lake, and the woman who has us doing it wants everything to last into the next century, not just the next decade. Look at all the knots in this piece!”I peered at the sample and then the piece of paper attached to the pile. Then, I nodded, jabbing my finger at it. “Yep, this is the stuff for the trim.
JesseJoe followed me into the back. “Maybe you should have hired the kid on probation,” he said.He didn’t say it loudly enough for Chance to overhear him, but I still gave him a look. “Everyone deserves a chance,” I said.Joe snorted. “Chance deserves a chance,” he said. “That’s really funny, Jesse.”I rolled my eyes. “Come on, get to work.” “Aye aye, boss,” Joe said, saluting me, his eyes twinkling.“Mixed metaphors,” I muttered under my breath, but I couldn’t help grinning as well.We hadn’t done much when Chance came running back to find me. “There’s not enough cash for me to give change,” he said, sounding panicked.I frowned. I had counted the drawer this morning, and unless someone was trying to pay with a really huge bill, there shouldn’t be any problem. Most people paid by card, so I doubted the drawer was already empty. We hadn’t had that many customers in there that morning, even.Joe gave me a look like “can you believe this fucking kid”.“I’ll be right back,” I told him
AudreyWhen I got up on Sunday morning, I could smell breakfast cooking in the kitchen. Bacon, pancakes, orange juice, and who knew what else. Mom always liked to go big on Sunday morning breakfasts, and I was sure going to get big if I started eating like I used to. I’d never get back to dancing again. I really needed to talk to her about that.I was surprised when I wandered into the kitchen, though. Mom beamed at me when she saw me, gesturing toward a plate. “I remembered when we were in Paris that you always ate those egg white omelets and fruit for breakfast,” she said.I knew the omelet had probably been cooked in butter, but I was touched again by the effort that she was making, even though I had just shown up here out of the blue. “Thanks, Mom,” I said, sliding into my seat at the table across from where Annabelle was already seated.“How are you feeling this morning?” Mom asked. “Better?”I nodded, and in fact, I somehow was. I was getting used to the idea of being here, at l
Audrey“That sounds like fun,” Mom said. “I bet you really would love it, Audrey. Maybe you’d run into some of your old friends. You could probably show them a move or two.” She winked at me, and I had to fight not to roll my eyes.Show them a move or two? Did she think I was going to bust out a few of my ballet moves right there in the middle of some small-town bar? It just showed how much she really thought of me and my career.“I’m not in contact with any of my old friends,” I said, hoping that would be the end of the matter. The last thing I wanted to do was go to a bar by myself. I didn’t want to be that desperate stranger standing off to the side, trying to attach myself to a group.I felt another pang of homesickness for my life in Paris. I hadn’t gone out alone in all the time that I’d been there. The other dancers at the Global Traveling Dance Academy of Performing Arts, the ones who had been there for a while, had immediately taken me under their wings when I had arrived, sh
JesseI mounted the sign back where it was meant to go and climbed back down, to applause from Tristan’s daughter. “You fixed it!” she said excitedly as she peered up at it.I grinned in spite of myself. “Wasn’t too difficult,” I told her, but I accepted the high five that she gave me anyway. I straightened back up and turned to Tristan. “That wind last night was pretty crazy, huh?”“Yeah, came up out of nowhere, too,” Tristan said, looking worried. “I’m afraid what that means for storms this year.” Then, his worry cleared as he clapped me on the shoulder. “At least I’m lucky enough to work right next door to the town handyman. You want to come inside for a piece of pie?”“God, that sounds great,” I said. I’d been going since dawn that morning. Not only did I have the hardware store to open, but I’d gotten calls from half a dozen people in town who all wanted to know if there was any way that I could help them with storm damage that they had suffered overnight.I’d left Tristan’s dine
AudreyI dug through my bag, trying to find some sort of outfit that would be suitable for a bar in Aberdeen. Annabelle and I had snuck out to go to shows in town when we were teenagers, with more or less success, depending on the night. What the hell had we worn back then? Jeans? I didn’t think that I had worn jeans in years now. Surely not in all the time that I’d lived in Paris.When we went out there, I was usually in a dress or slacks and a button-up blouse. But both of those things seemed too formal for wearing around Aberdeen. I didn’t really care about what everyone here thought of me, but I wanted to be comfortable and not look like a snooty rich girl out of her element. If this really was about research, that wasn’t going to help me one bit.“God, I wish I were as skinny as you,” Annabelle said as she came back into the bedroom after her shower with just a towel wrapped around her.I snorted. “You look amazing, and you know it,” I chided. “But if you want to give up on all t
AudreyI couldn’t believe that Jesse had gone to all of this work to build the perfect nursery for our baby. From the looks of the crib, it was hand-built, not just one of those flimsy things that you put together from the store. I could tell that there was still some work that he planned on putting into that, and there was a rocking chair only half finished on the floor. But Jesse was building me a nursery for our baby.I could barely believe it.Here I had been so worried that he would want nothing to do with me or the baby, when in fact, exactly the opposite was true. He wanted this enough that he was willing to put his love and dedication into incorporating us into his life and his home. He wanted our baby to grow up here just like he had grown up here.He was so perfect. I didn’t know how to tell him that.Instead, I was given the opportunity to show it to him.I caught his hands in mine and tugged him out of the nursery and back down the hallway to his bedroom. This time, I was
JesseWhen I heard Audrey’s reasons for why she hadn’t told me about the pregnancy, I felt my heart break a little. Not because her reasons were terrible, but because I’d been so terrible to her this week. If she’d only explained things to me before. I knew that was my fault, though. I hadn’t let her explain. We’d been tired and too full of emotions to really talk last weekend, but I at least should have made time to see her earlier in the week.I didn’t know what I’d been expecting from her, but her actual reasons for not telling me were almost too sweet.“I’m assuming that you want to try to get yourself back into shape and go back to being a ballerina once the baby is born?” I said now, at dinner.To my surprise, Audrey shook her head. “Honestly, I think those days are over.”“I’m sure you can talk to your director and work something out with him,” I said, frowning. “I know there was the injury as well as this, but he seems like a reasonable guy. It’s not like you don’t have the ta
AudreyJesse slowly came up to the porch, like he thought I might run in the other direction. “You look really pretty,” he said quietly.“Is that all you came here to say?” I asked tartly.The lips of his mouth twitched with a grin. “Just the start of it,” he promised me. “Have you already eaten? I was hoping that maybe I could take you to dinner and we could talk.”I stared at him for a long moment. So now he wanted to talk? I wanted to hear whatever it was that he wanted to say, though. I wanted him, so badly that I ached. I found myself nodding. “Let’s go,” I said, heading toward his truck.We were both silent on the way to the restaurant that had been our favorite as teens. I should have known that he would take me there. Back to where it all began. There was a part of me that was terrified that I was never going to be able to come back here again after this too-serious conversation that we were about to have.There was another part of me that soared with hope, wondering if this m
AudreyI shook my head. “It’s more complicated than that,” I sighed. “He just got mad because I didn’t tell him that I was pregnant until we were on the way to the hospital. I lied to him about why I was back here, and he can’t trust me anymore.” I bit my lip. “I deserve it, for waiting for the perfect time. I just didn’t think waiting was going to end up making things so terrible.”“Oh, Audrey,” Annabelle sighed, coming over to sit next to me on the bed and giving me a hug. I knew she was probably going to be running late for her shift, but she didn’t seem to care. She just wanted to make sure that I was all right. I nearly cried with how much I appreciated it.She noticed. “Are you crying?”I had to laugh. “Hormones,” I told her. “I’m pregnant, remember? My emotions are all over the place.”She shook her head and went to grab me a tissue from the box on the dresser. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think he’ll be mad at you forever,” she said. “You didn’t see him when you were in Paris
AudreyI’d had a great day with Mom and Annabelle, cooing over all the adorable little things that we could buy for the baby in the local mall. I knew that they were really excited about the baby, but as much as I tried to match their enthusiasm, I still couldn’t help but feel upset and unsure. It would have been so much easier if I had known that Jesse and I were an item and that he was going to be there for me. For us.I still hadn’t heard from him, though, and now it had been nearly a week since he had found out about the fact that I was pregnant.It had been a long week. Other than that shopping trip, I had barely left the house. What was there to do? Anywhere that I went around town, there was a chance that I might run into Jesse. I didn’t want to admit that I was avoiding him, but the conversation that he and I needed to have wasn’t one that I really wanted to start in public where anyone could witness it.It was a small town. Soon enough, everyone was going to realize that I wa
JesseI took a calming breath to steady myself. No. I at least knew Audrey well enough to know that she wouldn’t do something like that without at least telling me that was her plan. Even though I hadn’t reached out to her, she knew where to find me if she really needed to talk about something like that. She knew where I worked, and she knew where I lived.At least, I thought I knew Audrey well enough to trust in that. If not Audrey, though, I had a feeling I would have caught an earful from Annabelle if her sister was even considering that.“You’re sure it’s yours?” Joe asked.“Yeah,” I said. I grimaced. “I actually asked her if it was someone else’s and that was why she hadn’t told me about it. She got pretty upset that I had even dared to think that she might have been with someone else. I believe her.”Joe nodded, and I could tell he was thinking everything over.“Am I right to be angry with her?” I asked, when he didn’t say anything. “I mean, she flat-out lied to me. You were rig
JesseI knew that I should probably talk to Audrey. Not talking to her was driving me crazy. She had always been one of my best friends, and if there was anyone that I wanted to talk to, it was definitely her. I missed her. I wanted to know how she was handling all of this. I wanted to know what she was thinking.I wanted to make sure that she was following the doctor’s orders to rest and stay off her feet for a little bit, in case it was the stress that had caused that terrible cramping that she’d had the other night. It had been hard for Audrey to stay off her feet before when her ankle was injured, so I could only imagine how she was coping with it now.I hoped for the sake of the baby, our baby, that she was taking the doctor’s words seriously. I had a feeling she would be, though. Somehow, I knew that she was going to make an incredible mother. That little baby was lucky.It was one of the few things that I was sure of.The rest of it was all uncertainties, and that right there w
Audrey“Eleven weeks,” I said. “Annabelle and I went for the ultrasound on Friday.” I pulled out the picture to show her, and her face lit up.“Look at that little peanut of a thing,” she cooed. “He looks adorable.”“He?” I asked skeptically. “You can’t possibly tell that from the picture.”Mom tutted. “Let me have my dream,” she said. “It would be good to have a little man around the household again. Besides, look at the way he’s positioned. He must be a boy.”I tried not to laugh. “Maybe it’s a boy,” I said, glancing at Annabelle.“Audrey’s hoping it’s a girl so that she can teach her to be a ballerina,” Annabelle said.“The world could use more male ballerinas,” Mom said, winking at me. “I always wished that I would have a boy to balance out you girls.” She sounded wistful, and I suddenly realized that I had never known if two kids were all that she planned to have or if things just hadn’t worked out for more. It suddenly seemed like something that I should know.Mom was wrapped up
AudreyI had barely left my bedroom for the rest of the weekend after Jesse dropped me off at home. I couldn’t help thinking of the terrible things that he had said to me out in the driveway. I couldn’t help thinking of how much I deserved for him to say those things and more to me.I had fucked up. I knew that now. No, I had known that all along. I knew that I should tell him about the baby. All the reasons not to tell him seemed so stupid now. I couldn’t even think how to apologize to him, in fact, that’s how stupid all the reasons sounded in my head.Not that I was going to get a chance to apologize to him. I had given him his space on Saturday. He wanted time to cool off and process things, and I would give that to him. Sunday, I hadn’t been able to stop myself from texting him, though. I understood if he wasn’t ready to talk yet, but I just wanted to know when he might be ready to talk. The uncertainty was killing me.He hadn’t responded. Suddenly, I felt panic go through me, eve